Before you join the call,
And shrink yourself,
And prepare to sound smaller,
And make yourself easier to manage,
Notice what your body may already be doing.
The chest may be tight,
The throat may be guarded,
The shoulders may be braced,
The mind may already be editing you.
That makes sense.
Sometimes before being seen,
Heard,
Or interpreted,
The body starts negotiating how much of you is safe to bring.
Sometimes the nervous system tries to protect you by becoming smaller first.
Not because you are weak,
Not because your voice does not matter,
But because being perceived can wake up pressure very quickly,
And self-erasure can start to feel like a way to stay safe.
For these next few moments,
You do not need to shrink yourself first,
You do not need to become smaller to belong,
You do not need to disappear before the call begins.
Feel the chair beneath you,
Feel your feet meeting the floor,
Feel the back of your body being held,
Let the jaw soften a little,
Let the throat have more space,
Let the shoulders drop one small amount,
Let the hands rest before they reach for the button,
Take one slower exhale,
Again,
Exhale,
Not to become confident,
Just to let the body know it does not need to make you smaller to keep you safe.
The call may still happen,
People may still speak,
You may still be seen,
But you are allowed to bring a fuller version of yourself with you,
You are allowed to stay in your body while your voice arrives,
You are allowed to take up a calm amount,
I do not need to shrink myself to belong,
My voice does not need to become smaller,
I can stay with myself while I am seen,
I do not need to disappear before the moment begins,
I can arrive without abandoning myself,
Nothing needs to be reduced in this exact breath,
Nothing asks you to leave yourself behind before it starts,
For one more breath,
Let your body remain with you,
Let your voice belong to you too.
