Six months ago,
I went upstate with some friends and cut my finger.
I was making dinner,
We'd only just arrived,
And the night ended at an urgent care.
But another thing to happen that weekend was I had an idea for a screenplay.
It dropped into my head as randomly as I'd encountered the knife.
That's what I've been up to for six months,
Just writing this screenplay with whatever time and attention I had available.
The story feels topical and a window that might be closing,
Which made the writing feel a lot like being chased.
But now it's done.
Or at least,
The script is currently out of my hands.
To write a screenplay is a trust fall.
That it will surface in an ocean of screenplays,
And work as a ticket into the industry.
Which takes not only a great script,
But another person saying yes.
My belief here is that the person will appear when the project is ready.
What can I do to make it inevitable?
But the six months I worked on this script were also a thrill.
The idea that I might really have something bounced me out of bed in the morning.
And toward the end of writing the most recent draft,
The word that kept coming up for me was rabid.
I was rabid with the project.
Although on the inside that felt fun.
The tail end of a project,
When I can see the finish line,
Is among the best feelings out there.
And a project of my own is protection from the world.
For six months,
I had a place to go away from my phone,
That no one could fire me from.
That let me feel proud of myself at the end of the day.
Creativity is a way out of anxiety,
Since they can't coexist.
The magic of a project is deep,
And doesn't require belief.
Here are the two things a project does require.
You find it interesting.
And it takes up your time.
This is why using AI to write a story won't feel as good as writing it yourself.
Of course it's hard.
But the whole point is the trying.
Life feels like a held breath these days.
And I find that uncertainty desperately uncomfortable.
Won't someone just tell me what's gonna happen?
And what to do?
But I can give myself certainty that I will show up every day on a project.
That I will bring myself and see what happens.
That's how low the bar is.
And trust me,
That's enough.
Days have a way of adding up to finished projects.
What happens when it's done is not my business.
Only the making is mine.
And what a relief,
That the part giving my life meaning,
Is the part I can control.
Don't wait for the perfect time to start.
You'll feel like it after you get started,
Not before.
Don't wait for the perfect idea.
The first idea is just to get you going.
You may have to show up and work in the dark,
And no one cares.
So what?
Find a way to like it.
Don't wait.
