(Wk 14) Integrity Part 3 Of 5 - Unleash Your Peace

Hello and welcome back to Unleash Your Peace.

My name is Ellie Shoja.

I am your host.

I'm a positive mindset coach,

A personal transformation expert,

A deliberate creator,

And your peace trainer.

Unleash Your Peace is your peace training.

It is a podcast where every single week we dive into a different topic about the internal world.

We do that over the course of five episodes published Monday through Friday.

Now the episodes are really short and sweet.

They're really meant to inspire and uplift you,

But also give you something really thought provoking for the day to think about.

And they take you inward because inside of you,

That's where your peace resides.

That's where your happiness resides.

Every answer to every question you have ever asked is inside of you.

And by going inward,

You gain access to all of that.

And not only that,

But you start shedding all of this unwanted pain you've been carrying with you day after day,

Month after month,

Year after year.

You start shedding it so that you can live your best life.

When we live from this place of joy and peace and connectedness to that infinite beingness of us,

That non-physical that holds all of our potential,

We don't just incrementally improve the quality of our lives.

We actually exponentially innovate every aspect of our experiences on this physical plane.

We become whole,

We become powerful creators,

And we start living deliberate lives.

We create deliberately the lives of our dreams and whether we want it or not,

We inspire those around us to do the same thing.

And next thing you know,

We're all leveling up together as a society,

As a human race,

Because that sort of thing just trickles out into the world.

That is my wish for you.

That's my wish for all of us.

I believe that we have come here to create,

To connect with each other,

To create expansion.

And we don't know what the next phase of our evolution holds for us,

But I have a feeling it gets unlocked when we all level up as a human race.

Now this week we are talking about integrity.

I'm talking specifically about self-integrity.

Giving your word and sticking to it,

Even when nobody else is watching.

I am self-employed.

I spend a lot of time on my own.

And if I don't have any self-integrity,

Nothing really gets done.

For this reason,

I actually always thought I had a lot of integrity because I have a lot of discipline.

I commit to things and I do them.

But when I read this interview with Michael Jensen,

Who is the chairman of Social Science Research Network,

About the topic of integrity,

I was shocked to see that I'm at best a five or I was at best a five on a scale of one to 10.

And I have made a commitment to living 100% in integrity.

My life personally has changed.

And if you've been with me this entire week,

Really let me know how has it been living in integrity,

100% in integrity for the last 48 hours.

I guarantee you it's been life shifting if you've actually committed to it.

For me,

It's felt a lot like pulling off band-aids all day long.

So anything that I have been putting off or any conversation that I haven't wanted to have,

I've had to kind of have.

And that has been a really big eye-opener for me because I think a lot of us don't live in integrity because it's uncomfortable.

It creates these conversations and these dialogues that we don't normally want to have.

We feel like it's going to create tension and we just don't want to do it.

And the most amazing thing I have discovered is that it's okay to have those conversations.

And I've developed this little trick that I've been calling on a version of myself who is 100% in integrity.

And I've been letting her have those conversations.

I know this probably makes me sound a little bit crazy,

But at the risk of that,

I will let you know my little cheat on this because I'll feel uncomfortable with a conversation and I'll say,

Okay,

Now the version of me who is 100% in integrity is going to have this conversation and she's going to have a lot of clarity through this conversation.

So I would like for her to now step in and write this email and have this dialogue with this person and really amazing things happen.

I've been tapping into portions of myself that I didn't even know existed to be quite honest.

It's been really liberating.

And it's also reaffirmed for me this thing that I've been teaching,

Which is that all of the answers are inside of you.

All you have to do is to ask.

So when I ask myself,

Can I have access to the version of me who knows how to have this conversation without feeling uncomfortable,

I naturally bring that version of myself out and try that if you haven't.

It is so incredibly powerful.

If you need to step into a meeting or send an email that makes you feel really kind of uncomfortable,

Really call on that part of you who has the right words to communicate with clarity and see what happens.

I guarantee you,

You'll be very pleasantly surprised.

Now in this episode,

I want to talk about one of the symptoms of not being in integrity.

And this is a symptom that I had myself until very recently until I realized what a big problem I've had with not being in integrity.

And it was actually pointed out to me by a friend of mine.

And that is this,

When we are habitually not in integrity,

When we live in this way of not having our word be the law,

Not being accountable to our own word,

What happens is we tend to over commit to a lot of stuff.

So if you're in a situation where you constantly feel like you're over committed,

Your plate is a little bit too full for comfort and you constantly have to find ways of getting out of situations because there just is not enough time in the day to get everything done that you want to get done.

Chances are you don't have a lot of integrity.

And that's kind of a hard thing,

A harsh thing to hear because as a person who likes to do a lot of stuff and commit to a lot of stuff,

I completely understand the desire to want to say yes to everything.

I no longer fall into that camp because as of a week ago,

I've decided to live a hundred percent in integrity.

And already in this week,

I have noticed how my attitude towards committing to events has been shifting,

Has been changing.

Now there is a sister to integrity or a brother if you want to call it,

And that is commitment.

And what I've noticed is that I've had low integrity,

But I have really high commitment.

So I've kind of made up for that lack of integrity with my commitment to everything.

When I commit to something,

I'm committed 110%.

I dive right in head first and there is no question about my commitment.

And one of my close friends who has extremely high integrity,

She was just telling me about how her commitment is low.

She commits to things kind of halfway.

So she has a foot in,

A foot out.

She makes up for it.

She kind of compensates for it by having super high integrity,

By being a person of completely her word all the time.

So if you have kind of low integrity,

It might be that you have really high commitment to things like I do.

And vice versa,

If you have really high integrity,

It might be that you have really low commitment to things.

And that's a really interesting phenomenon that happens that we'll talk about in the next day or two,

Which is if you have this attitude that if I commit to something,

I am 100% in and there's no way for me to kind of backtrack from that,

That might actually create a fear of commitment.

Because for my friend,

For example,

Anytime she's been even faced with a promotion at her job where it would mean more money for her and more responsibility,

She would feel like,

Oh my gosh,

I don't know if I want to do this for the rest of my life.

For me on the other hand,

I have no problem to committing to something 110%,

150% because I know nothing is permanent.

So if I'm doing this job,

I'm willing to do it all in.

I go completely in there.

I'm in the trenches,

I'm doing the work and I don't hold anything back because I know nothing is permanent.

So I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

I might as well be doing it 110% while I am here because I don't know what the future is going to bring.

Do you see how that's linked to that integrity issue there?

Because I live from this place that nothing is permanent,

I'm also a lot more comfortable saying yes to everything that's coming my way,

Which creates an integrity problem because just by the virtue of being human and having a finite amount of energy,

A finite amount of time,

It is impossible to uphold all of those commitments.

So very important to kind of be able to find balance with that and not say yes to everything,

Not commit to everything because then that commitment creates a situation where I am over committed.

I used to always explain myself or describe myself as a person who has an overflowing plate.

My plate is always full,

I would say to people,

And every person who knows me will say that about me.

Ellie always has 20 projects happening at the same time.

Do you fall in that camp?

Do you always have five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight,

20 projects happening at the same time?

And do you have a hard time keeping up with all of that,

All of those commitments at the same time?

If you do,

I'm sorry to say it,

But chances are you might have that integrity problem because it creates an integrity problem because it is impossible for us to uphold all of those promises we've made without making some major sacrifices in one area or other,

Without something falling through the cracks.

If that is you,

If you fall into what was previously my camp,

No longer as of last week,

No longer.

I have made a commitment to being 100% in integrity,

Which means I'm going to only commit to things that make sense in my life and I'm going to stick to those commitments 100%.

And I really urge you,

If you fall in that camp,

To come over to this side of the integrity line with me.

And that requires,

Again,

Being very honest with yourself about where you are so that you can take those important steps towards a better,

Improved,

More in integrity version of yourself.

That is it for today.

We will come back tomorrow.

There's several other pieces of integrity,

Really important parts of integrity that I do want to dive in tomorrow and on Friday.

And until then,

Check out peace unleashed on Instagram.

Com.

That's where I share my love notes with you.

Those messages,

You guys,

Are meant to uplift and inspire you.

That's their entire soul purpose.

And I hope that's what they are doing for you.

And if you want to work with me at any capacity,

You can reach out to me through my website.

It's peace unleashed.

Com.

And until tomorrow,

When we come back and dive a little bit deeper into this topic of integrity,

I wish you a peace filled day.