The mornings in the borrowed apartment became rituals for Lauren.
She brewed mint tea instead of coffee,
Sliced fresh papaya and pineapple,
And sat near the window where the sunlight pooled on the wooden floor.
Her hands often drifted unconsciously to her stomach.
The pregnancy still felt both unreal and undeniable,
A secret pulse anchoring her to her unknown future.
She had begun journaling again,
Something she hadn't done since college.
At first,
The pages filled with apologies,
To Nathan,
To Nico,
To her baby,
And then gradually other truths began to seep through.
She wrote about how Nico had always met her in places Nathan couldn't,
How his gaze never skimmed the surface,
How his love had felt like being allowed to take up space in all of her contradictions.
It terrified her to think about leaning into love that goes that deep,
But it also fed something in her that had been starving since childhood,
The need to be accepted for all the parts of her.
Then came another voice,
The voice that whispered,
You've betrayed the man who stood by you.
You've shattered what was good enough.
You've taken away the baby's family before it's even born.
Lauren pressed her pen harder against the page until her hand cramped.
Was there any forgiveness in this for herself and how long she'd been in love with Nico and Nathan?
Was it even realistic to ever expect Nathan's forgiveness?
With her thoughts swirling around her,
Threatening to pull her under,
She decided it was time to get up and just go for a walk.
Some fresh air and sunshine would do her good.
She walked along without a destination in sight,
But ended up at one of her favorite bookstores.
As she often liked to do,
She scanned the bulletin board for upcoming events in the community and something caught her eye right away.
That weekend,
A family constellation workshop was being held at a new wellness center just outside of town.
From the picture on the flyer,
The center was a circular building surrounded by gorgeous trees and everything about it looked inviting.
Something about the description of the workshop drew her in even further.
Discover how inherited family patterns unconsciously shape your relationships.
From repeated conflicts to difficulty with intimacy and trust,
Through this experiential group process will reveal the hidden dynamics that keep you stuck in painful relationship cycles.
She couldn't help smile to herself.
She just knew she was meant to be there.
She snapped a quick photo of the flyer to have all the details for the weekend.
Something within her felt settled after deciding she'd attend.
She walked towards the cafe at the back of the bookstore to order a lemonade,
Where she bumped into an old friend from school.
They hadn't seen each other in years,
So there was no awkwardness about Nathan or Nico.
It was thrilling to share about her pregnancy without any of the details attached.
It felt so good just to talk freely.
