by Katrina Bos
During this session, we discuss Verse 79 of the Yukti Verses from the 'Radiance Sutras', a translation of the Vijanana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Loche. A meditation follows our discussion. These sessions are recorded on a weekly basis and all are welcome.
Meet your Teacher
Toronto, ON, Canada
Transcript
So today we are reading from the Radiant Sutras. Beautiful translation or interpretation of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra. And today we are reading verse 79. For anyone who has the book, I love this book. It's a beautiful book to have by your bedside. It's a wonderful book about tantra. I'm going to read the passage and then we're going to have a discussion about it and then we'll do a meditation at the end. And I have a playlist of all the recordings that we've done. So this is number 79. And so there's probably close to 70 recordings on there. Not all of them made the cut because some of them were too sexy or there were tech issues or something. But a lot are there if you ever want to go back and listen to various ones. So even if you have the book, Let's close our eyes and let's breathe deeply. Let's let ourselves come into this moment with every inhale, Feeling energy flowing from the crown of our head and the earth, Bringing this energy into our heart center, Swirling around and then exhaling. Imagine that with every inhale, Breath coming from your root chakra and your crown at the same time, Swirling in your heart and exhaling out into the world. To know that we are all both divine and physical. This is the foundation of tantra. And releasing the breath visualization, Just breathing naturally. Contemplate the entire universe as a magic show on the grandest scale imaginable. Fabulous art, An immense painting in motion. God is a magician, Whirling galaxies of fire, Juggling atoms, Planets and us. Everything, Everything is fleeting. Meditating on this magic, Great happiness rises in the heart. How does that make you feel? Or what thoughts float into your mind when you hear that? Humbling. Magical. Love, Love, Love it. Very happy to look at the big picture. Sensory overload, The beauty of life, Fleeting, Made me a little feel a little sadness. Whimsical and curious, Massive, Explosive art, Swirling, Fleeting. That this world can be magical. Happy to be part of the magical play of the universe. Magic is everywhere. The universe is magical. You know, It's always interesting when we read something like this, Or we imagine the world as this wonderful magic show, Or to even imagine that everything in our life is fleeting and transient. So on the one hand, There's this experience of the world where we are transpersonal. And the word transpersonal is like exactly like this discussion, Where you're watching the world almost like a witness, Like you're this personality that I am. I am Katrina Boss. I am 55 years old. I, Here's my relationship status. Here's whatever. So normally when I go through my life, I'm experiencing the world from this personality. I like that, And I don't like that, And I prefer that, And I have judgment about that. And I want to do this, And these are my hopes, And these are my fears. This is my personal experience of the world, Which is very important. And we're going to talk about that. It's not something to transcend that. Tantra is about fully living in that personality and experiencing the transpersonal. So the transpersonal is when I connect with that inner self. We often, When I say I am Katrina, I point at this part of my chest, Which is what we would call the heart chakra. And in many belief systems, This is where God lives. This is in the Brahman. Brahma is all things God, And this is Atman. This is the personal experience of God, Which in all essence is you are the divine on earth. You are the divine incarnate here on earth. You are the sparkly bit in physical form. And this Atman is that divine connection. So now imagine, I am, I'm not visual in that I see, Like I'm not clairvoyant or anything interesting like that, But whenever I imagine the heart chakra, And I imagine Atman, Or I imagine the personal divine self, I always picture some little, It's like a little alien. And I know for anyone who's connected to extraterrestrial work and stuff, They don't like being called aliens. But in my mind, I always see this little person sitting on one of those chairs in a spaceship, Where if you were going to pilot a spaceship, You would kind of go and you would sit in the chair and has nice arms on it. And you're sitting there and you swivel around like this, From my Hollywood version of spaceships. And that's what I see. And I'm not saying you should see it, You should have your own vision. But this is what I see is this little man, Woman, It's not really there's no gender, But there's this person sitting in there. And as I walk through life, They're like, Well, Isn't that interesting? Isn't that interesting? What are those birds? Hey, Why did that person hurt me? Hey, That's weird. And they're just sort of having this transpersonal experience of my life. And if I'm hurt, They're like, Wow, That really hurts. Wow, This human thing kind of sucks sometimes. Or if something's really epic, They're like, Whoa, Earth is awesome. I'm so glad I came here. And to me, That's the transpersonal. When we really can walk through our life with a sense of wonder. And it doesn't have to be positive. You know, We can walk outside and look at the sunshine and hear the birds sing. And it's all just lovely. But it also can be when we walk and we see something that is unfathomable, Painful or difficult or cruel or whatever. And we also see that from a transpersonal space, Which can seem very aloof, Almost like you're kind of watching it. But you're not watching it because you don't care. You're watching it because it's like you're trying to understand it. But if you're if your emotions and your inner drama are caught up in it, You can't see it clearly. Our emotions cloud what we see. Our emotions cloud what we see. There's a really interesting one of my books here that I read for our class. This one's called Vijnana Bhairava or Divine Consciousness. They classify this particular teaching as something called Sarvatma Sankhoka. And this isn't important. It's just fancy Sanskrit. Well, It's just Sanskrit really. But what's interesting about this, This word that this particular teaching is a part of, I'm going to read what it means. It's the reminder that our perceived individuality is an illusion, And that true freedom and happiness can only be found by recognizing our connection to the infinite. The second part, And I'm just going to throw some Sanskrit here for a minute, But then we'll we'll talk about it properly. This isn't a class in Sanskrit. In Tantra, There are multiple paths. And one is called Shaktapaya. So each one of these sutras in the Radiant Sutra might be Anavapaya, Which basically is the path of doing yoga, Kriya, Mantras, Things like that, Where we are actually healing our body and mind. And this is important preparation for more subtle teachings of Tantra. They have another one called Shambhavapaya, Which is where we experience Shiva consciousness. Last week's teaching was one of those where we simply experience the divine energy and through that, We shift our consciousness. This one, They call it's part of the path of Shaktapaya, Which is all about embracing Shakti. And of course, Shakti isn't some ethereal feminine God. That's not it. Shakti is us. In the classic Tantric path, There is Shiva-Shakti, Which is one. Shiva-Shakti separates into Shiva and Shakti to create Maya, To create this beautiful space, Which often is called an illusion. But there's something lost in the translation there, Because it's illusion does not mean it isn't real. It's almost like if you were to imagine our bodies, Many would say that it's almost like a moving hologram. We're just energy. Like if someone had different eyesight, Like our eyes, Our five senses are designed to see this body as solid. But someone else might look at our bodies and see the energy. And they might say, Wow, Humans are all just illusions. But that doesn't mean we aren't real. It doesn't mean we aren't having a real experience. So Shaktopaya, The path of Shakti, Is about actually loving our personality. It's about loving the manifest world. It's not about embracing the Shiva consciousness of all. It's about diving into whatever it is we're experiencing and loving it. Whatever it is, Or you don't even have to love it. Even if it's really hard right now, Lean into it. If you're going through a difficult time right now, Lean into that. Is there anything else? Because very often as humans, When life is difficult, We kind of lean back. We try to run away from it. Maybe we're in a difficult relationship. Maybe we have body pain. Maybe politically things are weird. Whatever's going on. Maybe we're struggling in relationships with our children, Or our parents, Or our friends, Or maybe money is an issue. Who knows? But imagine the difference in life when we lean in to whatever's going on. So then what happens? What happens when we lean in? New ideas come. Maybe solutions come. Inspiration comes. But our consciousness is all in. The only way out is through. Exactly, Carolyn. So this is where the beauty of a transpersonal perspective helps. Because we want to have both. We want to have the Shakti experience of life. We want to be all in. We're only here for a limited time. So we need to dive in. What does it mean to lean in? Oh, Good question. So years ago, I had a partner, And he's a very interesting man. And one day, He did something that really upset me. And I kind of closed off, And I kind of went into myself. Because that was my pattern in relationships. I would kind of go into my intellect kind of thing. I would shut down whatever was upsetting me. I'd shut down my emotion. And then I would go into my intellect, And I would go away, And I would journal about it. I would call a friend. I would try to resolve whatever this issue was in the relationship. And I wanted to find a good idea or a good solution and come back to the relationship and try to present this new solution to the partner. Which, As you can imagine, Shockingly, It didn't work. So this guy, For whatever reason, He watched me do this. He kind of watched me sort of contract. And he looked at me and he said, Would you make me a promise? And I said, I don't know. He says, Promise me you'll never contract if you're upset with me. That you'll stay and stay in that emotional place with me so we can fix it together. And I was, I don't know, How old am I? I was 50 maybe at the time. And I was like, What? That's not how I roll. I can't even imagine the vulnerability of staying in that emotional place with you. I felt like a Pandora's box would open and destroy him and everything. I didn't know what would happen. I genuinely experienced the world in a very transpersonal way as well. And I believe that there are times when very significant people say things that are only for our path. I don't even know if he remembers saying it. But it felt like it was a message directly to me. Katrina, Do this. So I said, Okay, If that's what you want. It was such an interesting experience because anytime anything went wrong with us, And we had a lot of difficulties, I would stay. It's almost like physically, Energetically, My body would lean into the painful emotion I was feeling at the time. And then what I realized, For example, What I learned from that experience was that when I am heavily emotional, My brain shuts off. It's almost like I can't actually be logical and emotional at the same time. But what was interesting is he was a very safe person to do this with. And he also stayed in the emotional place. We swam in these very difficult emotions together until we resolved it together. And then we sort of came out of it. It was very interesting. But for me, In that instance, I was kind of leaning in to the experience as opposed to running away from it. It might be you have a new job. And you find everything you have to learn very overwhelming. So there's this part of us that kind of shuts off and goes, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't, I don't know what to do. And instead, So imagine the body kind of backs off, And the mind backs off. And instead, You close your eyes, You take a deep breath in. And you remember who you really are. And you lean into the experience, Knowing that you will learn everything you need to learn. It's a huge difference when you're in, Let's say, Even in a relationship with someone. Again, This could be family, Friends, Children, To know that if something goes wrong in the relationship, Both people will stay to sort it out. Both people will kind of lean in with their hearts open to try to resolve it, As opposed to backing away and shutting down. Those are just some some examples. So this is shaktipaya. But again, How do we do that? We do it by also remembering that this world is a magical place. You know, The human experience is meant to be experienced in all the emotional chaos, The highs, The lows, Everything. But we are also divine beings. Every one of us, Every one of us is, It's that roomy quote that we are all the universe It's that roomy quote that we are all the universe in a dot, Or we are the entire universe is within us. I'm going to just paraphrase him, But he would talk about how the entire universe is, Say, The ocean. But you can only experience the ocean like one cupful at a time. And we're each one of those cups. So imagine walking through life, Always wondering this interesting balance between the transpersonal and the personal. Because tantra is never about staying in the transpersonal. When we're here on earth, We're meant to cry. We're meant to get angry. We're meant to learn new things and challenge ourselves. We're not meant to be sort of aloof and above this experience. We're meant to be fully in it. But the challenge is, We often can't be fully in it, Unless we also have the transpersonal. And that's what this sutra is all about. And I see a lot of people have joined, So I will be reading. Maybe I'll read it one more time. Just as an in-between reading. You guys ready? Contemplate the entire universe as a magic show on the grandest scale imaginable. Fabulous art, An immense painting in motion. God is a magician, Whirling galaxies of fire, Juggling atoms, Planets, And us. Everything, Everything is fleeting. Meditating on this magic, Great happiness rises in the heart. So it's interesting, Right, If you were to imagine the balance of the personal shakti experience and the transpersonal experience. When we are lost in our personal experience, It's often hard to be courageous. It's hard to do new things. It's hard to think new thoughts. It's hard to remember to meditate and ask for guidance. It's hard. But when you fully embrace who you are, Like fully, Fully embrace your height, Your weight, Your nationality, Your age, Your relationship status, Whatever, Whatever it is, Your fitness level, Your pain level, Like whatever it is that you are right now in this moment. If we fully dive into that experience, We are the most powerful that we can ever be. Not the most powerful if only I was taller or I was thinner or I had more money or I figured this thing out or I had a relationship or I had children or not that, Because that is an extremely disempowered place. This is literally ignoring the fact that this body, This body, Exists on earth right now and can hear the birds and can see the sunshine and can sleep and eat and make love and cook food and do all these things. Like this is right now, As we are right now, Is the most powerful way that we can be. This is embracing shakti. And when we really come, And this is the path of tantra, When we really deeply look in the mirror and say, Wow, What an experience this is. Isn't this something? From that place, That is where you can read this sutra and have the confidence within you to look at the world also as a magic show. It's only when we're comfortable in our own skin that we can also experience the illusory nature of the world. You can imagine this, If you feel quite empty in your body because you don't like your body, You don't like who you are, You don't like, Maybe you've had experiences that you've kind of disassociated from who you are. A teaching like this would be extremely upsetting. It's like, I don't even, I have nothing to hold on to. I have no root on the planet to imagine the heavens. So it's a very interesting balance, But it is through loving our life that it matters. Imagine loving doesn't mean you like it. I enjoy defining love as connection. So instead of thinking, I love my life, I love who I am, Don't put a judgment on it. Love often means like, I love it or I hate it. Don't think of it like that. Think of it like, I am connected to my life. I am fully conscious and present in this incarnation, Even if it's not my favorite one. It's okay, But stay in it. Lean into it, Whatever it is. Is embracing the same as acceptance? Yes. Acceptance is interesting, Because again, With acceptance, It's not a judgment. It's not a, I accept this because I think it's a great thing. Again, It's like the example where you've planned your outdoor wedding and it rains that day. Is this preferred? No. And you can cry about it and you can be pissed off about it and you can freak out, But at some point, The day will continue the moment you accept that it's raining. And then to your point, Kathleen, You can embrace it. Because as soon as you accept it, All that chaotic emotional fury dies and you can say, And you can say, Okay, Let's move it here. And who knows, Maybe you end up with all these people jammed in a tiny little place and it turns out to be even more juicy than it could have been outside. But until we come to that place of acceptance, We don't know. And if we're able to see it from that transpersonal space, We might even get a twinkle in our eye and say, Well, Isn't that interesting? Rain, Huh? Huh. Okay. Well, I guess this party is going to be even more fun somewhere else. You know, Mother nature has spoken. Like it doesn't change that it wasn't the original plan. It doesn't change that this isn't your preferred path. Acceptance, Embracing, Leaning into it just says, Okay, All right, Well, Let's work with this and see what magic we can create. The last thing I want to mention, Because a big part of this Sutra is embracing the transience of life. And transience, Because I know not everybody, English isn't everyone's first language here. Transience just means that everything is always changing. Almost like you're sitting at a train station and there's a train going in and you see this train, You see all the people getting on and off, And then that train is gone. And then a new train comes in. But what would happen if you got attached to one train? And you didn't want it to leave the station. And you didn't want these people to leave the station. But I like these people on the train. And I like the action of these people getting on the train and getting off the train. And I like the color of this train. And I don't want it to, You can imagine what would happen. So you cling to this train desperately. But then nothing moves. And life stops. We're not here to experience a stagnant life. We're not here to find the perfect moment and cling to it desperately. That's not the nature of earth. It's not the nature of maya. It's not why we're here. And again, This comes back to shakti paya. It's so important to be able to really deeply love, Be connected to this incarnation. Because the more deeply connected we are within ourselves, The easier it is to let life flow around us. But if that train is part of my identity, If that relationship is part of my inner identity, It can't change. Or else something inside of me dies. That job cannot be part of my inner world. Or else I'm not going to allow it to flow with the natural movement of life. Children must grow up. We cannot keep infantilizing them. We cannot keep them as children. They have to grow up. They have to become adults. They have to go out into the world and take risks and do things that maybe we wouldn't do. We all age. We all get older and wiser and everything changes. This is where happiness comes from. And that's what this sutra is really about. I'm going to read another version of this sutra. So this is a direct translation. Meditating on the manifest world as imagined or elusive, Like a magic show or a painting, And seeing all existence as transient, Happiness arises. This is where happiness is. I find this a very exciting and challenging way to think. Because say right now, I may imagine something going on in my work, In my offerings, Classes, Whatever. And it's very easy to get really caught up in that. But it's as I'm talking about it, It's changing. As I'm talking about it, The wheel is already turning. Everything within me is changing. And again, It's an interesting thing that, You know, We have to ask ourselves a lot about that, Like, Do I think it's always changing to the negative? Or do I think that also wonderful things happen? Like someone said to me, It was my birthday a few weeks ago. And someone said to me, They said, Oh, So you're 29 again, Eh? And I said, No, I've been on earth for 55 years. And I've had a lot of amazing experiences in those 55 years. I love it. Like, I mean, You think of transience. When I imagine my Katrina, In each one of those years, Who was I in 1974? Who was I in 1988? As I graduated high school and headed off to university? Who was I in 1993? A 23 year old young bride of a dairy farmer? Who was I in 1999? When I had the breast lumps, And I went through this huge healing crisis and met my first spiritual teacher? Who was I in 2009? When I bought a train station and renovated into a wellness center? This is a lot of change. But I wouldn't be able to look back in my life and look at all of these incarnations of self without things changing. So it's an interesting thing when we, Again, Embrace transience. And again, We don't even have to say it's a good thing. We don't have to judge it. We don't have to. Judgment is a very strange curse of our time. Transience is the journey. Transience is getting to visit France, Seeing all that you want to see there and then moving on to Belgium, And seeing all you want to see there and moving on to Italy. It's a joyful thing. So let's do a little meditation. Wherever you are, Let's close our eyes. You're welcome to lie down, Sit up, Slouch on a couch, Whatever you'd like. But let's close our eyes. Breathing deeply, Expanding the belly as we inhale. Contracting as we exhale. And I want you to imagine yourself in a room. And in the room, There's a mirror hanging on the wall. And there's a chair in front of the mirror. And you walk over to the chair. You sit in the chair and you look into the mirror. And you look exactly as you look right now. Except all around you is a beautiful white light emanating out from your heart center. And you're looking at yourself, This beautiful earthling here on a mysterious assignment on earth. And your body has this lovely vibration. Because you can feel your divine self pulsing in your veins, Pulsing through your nervous system. And in this magic mirror, Your eyes can see your true energetic self. And as you gaze into the mirror, Your right hand touches your left arm. You run your hands up and down the arm, Feeling this interesting body you're looking at. Gathering together the pieces of your life. The interesting patchwork quilt of this time here on earth. And you look into the mirror and smile. And for this moment, You remember the time you were here. And for this moment, You remember everything. You know who you truly are. And you enjoy this interesting life you've been given. And then sitting in the chair, You close your eyes. And you spin the chair around to face a door. And you stand up. Or maybe you're in a wheelchair in real life. And you go to the door. And you head out into the world. And you start moving down the street. And you see trees. And you hear birds. And you can smell lilacs. And you realize that as magical as you are, So is this world around you. You look up and see the blue sky. And you decide to take your shoes off and feel the earth under your feet. And the leaves are starting to change on the trees. And soon the trees will be red and yellow. And then those leaves will fall. And maybe winter comes, Depending on where you are. And you watch this beautiful world around you change and move and grow. And you put your hands on your opposite arms, Kind of just being aware of you within you. This beautiful changing world. Just breathing deeply. You just smile. And then ahead is a beautiful park bench. And you go and you sit on the bench with your eyes closed. Hands crossed in front, Holding the opposite arm. Just enjoying this lovely body and the world around you. Contemplate the entire universe as a magic show on the grandest scale imaginable. Fabulous art. An immense painting in motion. God is a magician, Whirling galaxies of fire, Juggling atoms, Planets, And us. Everything, Everything is fleeting. Meditating on this magic, Great happiness rises in the heart. Just feeling that happiness in the heart. Let's just breathe together. Just a few breaths. With every breath, Feeling that happiness flowing out to your fingertips, To your toes. And then let's gently open our eyes and come back together. So thank you so much for being here. I hope you have a wonderful day.
4.9 (17)
Karen
October 4, 2024
It’s been a while since I e listened to one of your Sutra talks, nice to be “back!” I also have the book, 🙏 I found myself thinking about the concept of the world as a living painting, a lovely pastoral mural if you will, and how currently much of it looks like Hieronmus Bosch! Thank you for all you offer, Katrina! 💕💫🦋🙏
