Discover Your Superpowers

37:58

37:58

Discover Your Superpowers

by Mounira Latrache

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Your strengths are your super powers - the things that make you so unique. Very often they are hidden underneath a huge pile of judgment since we and people around us might even see them as a weakness. In this episode we explore how you can connect with your real super powers and find out more about them.

Self Discovery Self Acceptance Journaling Creativity Energy Self Judgment

Meet your Teacher

Mounira Latrache

Berlin

Meet your Teacher

Mounira Latrache

Berlin

Transcript

Hi there, This is Munira. It's great to have you back again or maybe you are new to this podcast and to get you into the first episode where I explained a little bit about the framework, I want to explore how we all can come closer to our passion and purpose. And one reason why I want to do that is because I had a really hard time finding my own path and finding what makes me special and what are my superpowers. And I consider myself still being on that journey. And I found really useful ways to dive deeper into this. And my topic today is what are your superpowers? And might sound even a little bit cheesy to say superpowers, But I really mean superpowers because for me the experience is these are hidden strengths. These are superpowers that are actually excelling, But because they are so unconventional like the superpowers of a superhero, We would not even call them superpowers. Very often to really dive into these superpowers, What I found is it helps me to get feedback from other people that know me well or that don't know me well. So both of that. So to understand what people perceive from your behavior and also because the actual real superpowers that we have are so subtle that we might not even recognize them as superpowers or strength. We wouldn't even notice they are them. Why? Because we would say, Oh yeah, I'm always doing this. I'm doing this naturally. This is just something I really, I just do. Right? So if there's something that you say, Oh, This is just something that I do, This might be exactly that superpower. Or like, I really like that exercise. And maybe after this listening to this, You want to try that out. And the exercise goes like this. You ask five friends, Just text them on WhatsApp or on Facebook and ask them to give you five traits that they value being with you or that they value as a friend, As a daughter, As a mother, Whatever your situation is and whatever suits to you and see what comes up. Very often that comes like there's attributes that we wouldn't even say, Wow, They think I'm brave. For example, So when I did this exercise for the first time, People would tell me that I'm brave, That they really admire my braveness. And I was like, What? My braveness? Where did that come from? But because it was mentioned so many times, I was like, Oh, There must be something about this. So I looked into it and I felt like, Oh, Yeah, Maybe. And so I tried to get also more details on that asking my friends, What do you mean with that? And they told me, Yeah, You just do certain things I would never do, Or you seem to never have be afraid of things. So that's really interesting. By the way, I am super afraid of many things in my life. But what I found is actually my friends were right. I am afraid, But it does not really take me away from what I actually want to do. So yeah, I think that doesn't mean that you are not afraid or that doesn't mean that I'm not sometimes really hesitating and doubting my own strengths and powers, But there's a quality about I'm doing it anyways. And I want to tell you about another example, Which is quite a deep one for me when it comes to strength and superpowers, These hidden ones, They are sometimes exactly the ones people criticize us for, That these are the traits that we would say, Oh my God, I wish I wouldn't have that. For me, For example, One of these traits is my feeling for time and coming in time and navigating time. So always, Yeah, Like coming too late was basically put into my bed because my parents come from Tunisia and they have a different way of relating to time. So five minutes too late or 10 minutes or even half an hour for them is pretty much nothing. But growing up and yeah, I was born in Germany, Growing up there, I knew, Okay, This is not true for everyone. My whole life, I was trying desperately to be in time. And believe me or not, It's really hard for me. It's a real challenge. And so I keep on also judging myself for constantly coming too late. And so there's these amazing books about how you can just organize yourself better and how you can become so much better in getting your time right and all that stuff. So I've read that, I've tried to kind of integrate that, But never really like sticked. And at one point I was like, Okay, This is just something that is part of me. And over the last years, What I experience is this relationship to time makes me also being really good in creating a timeless space. So what does that mean? A timeless space, You know, When you are like feeling, Okay, There's a workshop, For example. So when I give workshops and people come into that space, I can really dive deep with them in a way as if there would not be any time. I hope you understand that correctly. I don't really know how to describe it. But anyways, I would say a quality of something that I was criticized for a lot, Namely not being in time, Is actually that I can help people to forget about time. And that's really helpful for us because we need that nowadays. We really need to be out of time. And we really need to be less in this time. And so maybe that as an example, You find that one strength for yourself where you say, Okay, I kind of judge it. It's always coming up in my life. And people criticize me for that. And it's also something, Yeah, I wish I wouldn't have. One really nice example that's not from my own life, But for a friend of mine is, He is really clumsy sometimes and he kind of can never really remember where he put things. And it's all like kind of really somewhere. But on the other side, He is super creative. And something about that clumsiness is basically like the way he works with things is not linear, Is not logical, Is sometimes by accident, He comes up with something, You know. And through that, He becomes really creative and his creative artwork is just amazing. So, Yeah, And he's says he found that the clumsiness is actually really like his gift of bringing things into disorder and to then compose them again in a different way, In a way that we wouldn't expect that to. And another example from my own lifetime is sensitivity. So I've always been quite sensitive to what was going on around me, You know, Like very empathetic towards what is going on for others. And that made it sometimes really, Really hard to cope. And people would say, Oh, You're so sensitive, Or they would say you are too sensitive. Actually, I heard you're too sensitive quite often. And so when you hear that again and again, You feel like, Oh my God, I really am too sensitive. And the first thing that I did is to calm down, You know, Like to just numb my sensitivity. And you kind of like start to not feel at all. You just don't want to feel anymore because it's like it's really like affecting you when you feel so much. And today, I feel like, Wow, That's actually a really amazing thing. And I think that's actually a really amazing superpower. Why did everyone tell me, Including myself, That I have to be stronger and not feel so much when this feeling so much is actually really supporting me to help other people? Because I can put myself into their shoes much better, But also I can on a, Let's say on a body level, Understand what is going on for them. And so when I coach people or when I do body work or yoga with them, Or also in the business environment, When there's workshops, I can sense what the room needs. And that's quite a really nice superpower, I would say. You know, And so my invitation for all of you is really explore these areas where you feel like you have suppressed this for your whole lifetime. You haven't even thought about this as your strength. Or as I mentioned, One of your friends can give you some hints on that. So I think friends are really nice people to tell you these tests and strengths. And one of the tests, So if you want to, If you are totally into tests like me, I'm super into tests and I love to, You know, Just answer questions and see the test results after. So there's one test that I really, Really like, And that's the Gallup Strengthfinder test. You find it online and also on Amazon if you want to also buy the book. And basically you receive a code and then you do an online test. And in this online test, It's all about finding out all your traits. And the result of it is you receive five of your top strengths. So the five strengths that are really your top, Top, Top strengths and that are excelling and outstanding and so on. And for me, That test was really one of the most outstanding results because I found traits and strengths that I could not describe in a way that this test could. But when I read it, I was like, That's exactly what I'm good in and thank you for naming it and thank you for describing it for me. So that was really interesting too. And and one strength that I found through that, For example, Is I am a learner. And I mean, That's like, I wouldn't say that's a strength really. I wouldn't have categorized that, But it's true. So what it says is that I receive energy from learning new things. And that's true. It has been true for my whole life. If I'm really interested in it, You know, And I can sit in school and can be totally energized when people are like, Why are you so energized? This is so boring. But if it challenges me and I learn something new, It really can give me a lot of energy and it totally excites me. So that was a strength I wouldn't have known as a strength until I did the test. And so my suggestion for whatever you're doing is not to just like take over whatever is there, But like really collect as many data as possible to in the end define your strength and don't define them like in a way you would do it for your CV, You know, Like before you do that, Just put them out there. Because if we start thinking about our CV or our career or what sounds the best and all that stuff, What we do is we lose the openness for a total different superpower that we might not understand right now, But we could understand one day. And that's a really interesting thing. So some of my strengths, I didn't understand for a long, Long time. I didn't understand why they are important, But over the years going into self-reflection and understanding myself better and my behavioral behavior, I also start to understand why my strengths are so important. And I also start to de-prioritize, Right? Like, I mean, I would never have thought that timelessness would be a strength of mine ever. I wouldn't have imagined that this is becoming something I'm going to name, But that's exactly what I would do today. And so put everything in, Even if it sounds, Yeah, Even if it sounds super simplified for you or super stupid, Just put it in. And I'd like to work with something on the wall because I'm a very visible person, But maybe you are not so visible and you want to write it into a book or you want to create different post-its for it and just play with it and make it like an investigation. So you're kind of investigating it for a longer time and you go back to it again and again and you watch yourself whenever you're doing something very naturally, Very just coming from you without really knowing that you have done it. And yeah, So that is all about strength that I wanted to share with you. And yeah, There's different ways of also dealing with strengths or non-strengths and weaknesses. So one thing about weaknesses before we keep going to strength. I find weaknesses is a really bad name for weaknesses. And one reason is because it makes us feel as if there's something about us that is not okay. That's the weaknesses. And I would just say we have superpowers and then we have other traits, Right? And it's really important because, You know, If you say that these are facets of you, These are areas of yourself and some areas of yourself are your superpowers and some areas are just part of your very interesting character that you are, Then it gives you a really different way of living with them. And there's something about weaknesses that we also always want to hide them. There's something about hiding them, Right? Who wants to show their weaknesses? And in business life, That's even like, You know, A total no-go. And I've been testing this for a while, And while I was still working at Google and in leadership position to really speak about my own weaknesses. And what it did is, First of all, I felt much, Much freer. I felt much less having to hide anything. I could just say and do whatever I wanted and show my all, The whole person that I am. How freeing was that? It's still freeing for me. I'm still hiding sometimes things, But I've got much better to not hiding and it's beautiful to not do it and to feel like whatever. And you know, It's like one day when it's all out there already, Then whatever, You know? And the other part of what it showed me was, So I was showing my weaknesses openly in the business field to the people in my team. And I didn't really notice what an effect it had on the team until there was a new person coming into the team. And this person was, Yeah, He was new to the team. And after a week of working with us, I asked him, How is it going? How do you feel? And he's been like, Wow, I was super nervous working in this space. And yeah, I thought everyone in the team is so talented and you all are such amazing people. And I don't know if I can compete with all of you, But you guys are speaking about your weaknesses so openly. I feel like I can just be myself. And you know, When he said that, I felt like I recognized how powerful it actually was, Because what happened was I didn't even recognize that I kept talking about my weaknesses openly because I just naturally kept doing it. And then it just became a normal habit of mine. And through that, What it did to the rest of the team is they felt they could do the same. Yeah, It's like I gave the permission for everyone else to do it as well. And what happened afterwards was that this new person just came into this culture of us being super open to it. So without me knowing it, I actually changed the whole culture of the team through being transparent with my weaknesses. And my off days and all that stuff. So I think, You know, Part of passionate purpose is to go deeper into our superpowers. And at the same time, It's really about accepting ourselves the same way we are stopping to hide and stopping to, To, Yeah, To judge ourselves about the things that we still haven't put together yet. And yeah, I feel like stopping myself from a judgment of, Wow, You should be much further. You should do more. You should do this. You did not have done that yet, Or why you still so late or why you so sensitive. Why can't you just put your stuff together? And the interesting thing about the judgment is in any way is, You know, If someone judges us from the outside, It hurts us only if we have an even bigger judgment about that inside of us. And that's what I really learned. I was always like, Oh, The outside people don't understand me. They can't, You know, Understand me. And I was like, Oh, I don't understand you. The outside people don't understand me. They can't, You know, Understand how I am, But really I was judging myself even more for these things. Yeah. Maybe we'll do a whole lot of next session about kindness and self-love. If you want that, You can, You're free to comment on that. And I think it's a very powerful part of finding your passion and purpose. But right now let's get back to the strengths. So we said there's strengths and superpowers and there's other character traits. So very often we feel like we need to be good in so many areas of our life. And we think like if we are not good in all these areas, Then we are not good enough. Then others are always better than us. And what we do is we are really fighting to get better in these things that actually do not even excite us. Some of these things are even boring for us. And so my invitation is fuck it. Yeah. If something is really boring for you and you just don't want to do it, If something when you do it, Drains your energy or makes you like, Oh my God, Again, And you kind of force yourself only to go through it and to become better in it, Then think about it. Feel for it. Feel for, Is this really something you want to do? I believe we force ourselves to do things much too much in our time. It's all about fighting and going through. And if we don't work it through, Right? It's like when you go to sports, You have to fight through. And at one point you will like it. Yes, That's true. And I don't want to say don't do sports or don't do something that is good for you. But it's also the question is when does this end? Where is an end to always like putting so much effort into things that we actually don't like? And so that's energy draining. And that's also bringing us away from our passion. And so whenever you do something, Especially most part of your day, You should spend with something you really love. If that's what you do, Amazing, Keep going. And if you're not doing this, Find out what does that have to do with your superpowers? So how can you use your superpowers to be in an area and do the things that you really love? Because that's what the superpowers actually show us. The things that we naturally do good, The things that we are naturally thriving in, These are the things that we are passionate about. These are the things that are part of our passion and purpose. So I find it really fascinating that the body has all these indicators for how it's feeling for us. So whenever you're doing something, Be honest with yourself. Are you energized or is this just energy draining? And then look into it. I'm not saying you shouldn't, You know, You shouldn't do anything that is energy draining. I'm also not saying it's only about this is not your strength, Right? Sometimes energy draining can just come from the fact that the conversation with someone is just really difficult and you don't know how to proceed and stuff like that. There's a lot of things that are part of this too. But in general, Look at the kind of energy it gives you. Look at how does your body feel afterwards? This can by the way also be what kind of experiences do you want to have in general? Also when you look into your own free time, What is it that they do in your free time that gives you energy? What is it that drains your energy? And when you are fully in your superpowers and most of the time spending time in your superpowers, What it does is it makes you grow even more. It makes you evolve. So I'm a total fan of saying where your strengths are, Put more emphasis on that. Don't look into all these areas that you are not so good at because no one is. And that's the thing, Your strength and your superpowers make you unique. You have a set of strengths that maybe no one has or maybe one in a million. So focus more on that and to really look into what it does, Right? What it does with you when you're fully in your strength versus when you're doing things that are not so much in your strength. And part of growing is obviously to learn new things and to learn new things that we didn't know before. But for me that's really something different. That doesn't have to do with me with your superpowers. For me it means in your superpowers you still have a huge area of growth. You still can evolve and you still can go into your fullest self. And it also has to do with accepting yourself fully with your superpowers in all there is. So yeah, I think it's time for an exercise. And one of the things that really works well is to make an exercise in a way that you first go into a meditation and then you write it down. Yeah, You do journaling, Like really journaling in a way that you keep your pen moving even if you don't know what to write anymore. I want to try this out with you guys. So if you don't have pen and paper next to you, Just put it aside for you. If you're currently driving your car or doing something else, Then you might want to do this exercise and meditation afterwards or in the evening or when you have a little bit of spare time for that. So everyone else make yourself comfortable. Take pen and paper next to you and let's start. Okay, So let's find a place where you can sit relaxed in a way that you're not falling asleep, But that you're definitely relaxed and find a way to sit or to stand with your spine straight. Now take three very deep breaths deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. And if you want to, With the out-breath you can sigh a little bit like, Ah. And stay with your attention in the next breath and fully be attentive to how the air comes in through your nose and out. And now let these questions for you arise. What is your superpower? What is it when you do it? Feels like it's still there. What is your superpower? What is it when you do it? Feels like it's the easiest, Simplest things on earth. What is it that people value you for? What is it that you bring into a group of people, A team or a group of friends? What is that quality? What is it that makes you simply being curious about it? What is it that makes you simply being curious about it, Even if you've never heard of it before? What is it that you bring into a relationship? What is it that you bring into a relationship? If you could just say to yourself, No one else would listen, What would be your superpower? Let's say you don't have to be ashamed of it, You don't have to tell anyone ever. What would it be? How does your body feel when you are fully in these superpowers, When you're using your superpowers? Are you energized? Do you feel it in your bones? Do you smile? See, Feel and hear it? And now open your eyes and take your pen and paper and write down whatever came up for you. And the technique of journaling works like that. So you keep on writing even if you don't know what to write. If you don't know what to write, Just write, I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write until you find something else to write about. Maybe also, This was awkward, I didn't really know what to imagine, Whatever it is, Whatever the experience for you right now in this exercise is, Write down what is present for you without stopping the pen until I give you a sign. And very often when we start writing something down, There comes this feeling of, Oh who am I to write this down or should I, Is that okay, Appropriate, Whatever it is, Just silence that voice and keep writing. And if you don't know what to write, Keep going with, I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write. And then slowly come to an end and finish your sentence. And start reading over what you just wrote. And mark some of the words, Maybe one to three words that you find most important for you. So maybe you want to point out these words and put them onto your strength, Passion and purpose wall, Where you collect everything you are collecting in this series of different exercises that we will do in the next few weeks. Or you just keep this book nearby so you can look into it again and again. My experience is that when you look into passion and purpose or whatever, It's really like a quest. So it takes some time, It takes some time to open ourselves up to that question and to really explore like a scientist. So that's kind of like if you want to keep going with finding out your superpowers, Then do a few things. One is definitely ask your friends, Three to four to five friends, About what they think are your strengths, What they really value in you. The second is keep on writing in this journal and maybe do the meditation beforehand, Because it really gets you a little bit more out of the head and more into imagination as well. And the third possibility you have is just look into your life, Be super aware and look into where are areas where you experience, Wow, This could be a superpower. I've never labeled it that way, But it could have the potential for a superpower. Look into the things that you feel you have been judged for your whole life, The things that you judge for yourself. And look into areas that you might want to hide, But look into really how can you reframe them into a superpower versus a weakness. And if you have some comments to that, Please let me know. I would like to see and hear how your journey is unfolding. And I'm really curious to hear more from all of you. See you next time. The podcast you just heard was published with anchor. Got something you want to say to the creator of this show? Send them a voice message using the anchor app free for iOS and Android.