The problem isn't that you don't know what you want,
It's that you've stopped listening.
On the outside life looks fine,
You're doing what needs to be done,
You show up,
You cope,
You make decisions every day and still life feels off.
You might tell yourself you should feel grateful,
You might wonder why clarity feels so far away and when you're capable,
Experienced and used to handling things.
Then you hear the question you've been trying to ignore.
Is this really it?
If that question has been circling for a while,
I am talking to you.
That disconnected feeling has a reason.
When women come to me and say I don't know what I want anymore,
I hear something else.
It usually isn't a lack of ambition or drive,
It's a disconnection from who they are,
From the part of you that knows what feels right.
Life has a way of focusing your attention outward.
Children,
Work,
Relationships,
Expectations.
You become very good at responding to everyone else and over time your own voice gets quieter and quieter and quieter.
Not gone,
Just quieter.
That's when decisions feel heavy and difficult,
Your confidence feels wobbly,
You second-guess yourself even though you've handled harder things before.
You haven't lost yourself,
You've stopped listening to yourself.
Here's what's really going on.
Your mind is busy scanning for the next thing to manage,
Your body feels tired,
Your emotions are suppressed instead of expressed.
Your identity now belongs to the roles you perform rather than the choice of who you want to be.
When you live like that for long enough you bury who you really are.
It's about reconnection because reconnection leads to the change that you've been looking for and here are five ways to start listening again.
These are practical tips that will help you listen without overwhelm and drama.
Pay attention to what drains you and what gives you energy.
Energy is data,
Start noticing where you feel lighter and where you feel tense or heavy.
Write it down as patterns will start to appear.
You can then see the programs that you run unconsciously and what you want to do about them.
Stop asking yourself what should I do and ask what feels aligned.
The word should means we're doing something because of what we think someone else thinks.
Alignment brings you back to your own values and identity,
Helping you to do things that feel right for you.
Create quiet before seeking answers.
The world is very noisy and this will stop you from hearing yourself.
Give yourself just 10 minutes away from it all so you can hear your voice.
Name what you're avoiding.
Avoidance often points to something important.
Asking what is making me avoid this helps uncover what you're frightened of and also whether you're ready to face it.
Let decisions be experiments not permanent labels.
You are allowed to try,
Nothing has to define you forever and confidence grows through movement not certainty.
What changes when you listen?
When you have the opportunity to reconnect you can then start to trust the decisions that you're making again.
You'll feel present in your life and you'll stop chasing and start living.
This is not about fixing yourself it's about remembering who you are.
Your identity matters,
Your needs matter,
Your voice matters.
So I ask you,
Is it time you started listening to yourself?
