The Y And Why: When You're At A Crossroads

14:06

The Y And Why: When You're At A Crossroads

by Cassie Premo Steele, Ph.D.

Rated

4.9

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

111

Are you at a crossroads in your life or work? Would you like help navigating the next steps in your path? This lesson from an award-winning poet, writer, and philosopher will help you do that with clarity and authenticity.

Life Transitions Purpose Discovery Self Coaching Practice Work Life Integration Practice Crossroads Purpose Alignment Self Worth Body Awareness Journaling Mindset Clarity Authenticity Long Term Commitments

Meet your Teacher

Cassie Premo Steele, Ph.D.

Columbia, SC, USA

Meet your Teacher

Cassie Premo Steele, Ph.D.

Columbia, SC, USA

Transcript

Okay. So when we are at a crossroads in our work, We can think of it as the letter Y. We're kind of coming up and then we feel that we need to go in one way or another. The Y is there, It is real, And there is a choice to be made. But before we get to that crossroads, The the crux between one way or another, I want to back up a little and look at the stem of the Y. So the first thing to remember is that you have been growing and changing and up leveling and getting better the entire time leading up to this crossroads. So don't forget that as you start to approach the crossroads, Allow yourself to look back, Look at the last 10 years, Look at what you've accomplished, Look at how you're able to balance self-care with work, How you've made friends and networking opportunities. You have been growing all this time. Just because you're at a crossroads doesn't mean that everything that you've done up to this point is pointless. That is the growth and evolution happens through choices, Deciding to go one way or another. Now at that crossroads, There is a balance that needs to happen before you know what is right for you. The balance is refusing to find your worth from outside yourself. This is very difficult to do and the most important thing when you're at that point is to slow down, Withdraw, Retreat, Get very still and very quiet because everything in our world says that worth is equal to either wealth or privilege, Prestige, Reputation. All of these things are external to us and they are also not predictable. They're chaotic. Fashions come and go. Schools of thought come and go. We cannot base our worth on the externalities of the world that we live in. It has to come from that internal alignment with the soul, Our essence, Our faith and our deep understanding of why we're on this planet for a very short time. What were we meant to do? So that internal work can be helped as you know through journaling, Through meditation, Through prayer, Through reaching out to therapists, Coaches, Anything that keeps you aligned with that heart space where you know for sure this is who you are and this is why you are here. That's the most important first step. I don't necessarily believe in you know the power of attraction or manifestation, All of that. All of that kind of new age talk comes from the Western desire to get ahead and succeed, Crush it, Kill it, To get that external recognition that we are talking about. It's fleeting. It doesn't last. It's not really why we're here. I mean it may get us money or it might get us you know power but there's a deeper reason for being here and that deeper reason is asking yourself what gives me meaning and how can I serve from a place of providing meaning to myself and to others. When we are only pleasing others, We're tipping over into that external focus. So we don't want to become servile. We don't want to you know make our life about making other people happy. We have to be aligned with that internal sense and then secondly while there will be you know bumps and boulders and setbacks and ups and downs through life, Being aligned with that internal sense of who we are allows us to realize how much power we have over what happens. By which I mean if you are chronically late, It's not that time is moving too fast. It's that you've made decisions before the lateness that kind of become like bumper cars and pile up. So having that that still reflective time can allow you to change your mindset and your actions so that you don't get caught in traffic to be late for a meeting. The hard parts of life, Whether it's traffic jams or a storm that comes or tragedies, All of these things are not only outside ourselves. We're in a relationship with the world such that the external world will actually change based on our level of peace and a sense of understanding of who we are. You're right that faith is the source of resilience for many people around the world but we are not only spiritual beings we are also physical. So dealing with a chronic illness or feeling pain in your body, All of these things are ways that the body is rebelling against the habitual decisions that we're making. And so by listening to the body as a source of wisdom, We again we go back to that internal alignment of who we really are and we start to listen. If the knees hurt, You say to yourself maybe I don't need to do high-impact aerobics. You know it's just a tiny little thing but what happens is the mind is very stubborn and the mind says no I put high-impact aerobics on my to-do list so I'm gonna follow through with it. And then the next day the knees hurt more because the body's trying to give you the message that you can tweak things. So step one, Lots of internal alignment and stillness to really work from a place of your power within rather than grasping outside yourself for that sense of power and identity. Two, Listen to the body and take care of the body as the horse, As the vessel that allows us to have this life knowing that we're not just spiritual, Not just intellectual. And then number three, This is a long game. You've heard it takes ten years for someone to be considered a master or genius in their field. So we can't willy-nilly change what we're doing every two years. We never get to that ten-year mark. And if you think about the people that you have admired, Either spiritual, Intellectual, Professional, They've been at it a lot longer than ten years. And they had those boulders, Those bumps in the roads, Those ups and downs, But they said to themselves, I'm not here for the external recognition. I'm not here for the wealth, Fame, Or power. I'm here for the work that brings me meaning. And I return to that in a focused, Balanced way over and over and over again. And then the external recognition does come because of the longevity of what you do. Now, All of that that I've said is about that stem of the Watt as we're growing. The three things, Be in touch with your soul and allow yourself to take care of your body, Your mind, Your emotions, Your spirituality, And know that you're in it for the long game. The people who win, Not in the way the world wants us to win, But the people who win in a soul way, Like at the end of their life, People say they lived a good life. Those are the people who knew that it was a long game and stayed at it in this very gentle, Balanced way with consistency. Now, All that having been said, When you do come to a big crossroads in your life, Whether it's with work or personal life, Marriage, Where to live, All of these kind of big questions, There usually is one way that is a striving, Holding on, Give it a little more time. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's not them. That kind of, Oh, I'm strong enough. I can do it. And then there's another, Which is a letting go, Walking straight into the release and the grief and the mourning of admitting this is no longer working for me. It's no longer healthy for me. It's not where I need to be. And there is a pause between the realization of that and when you're ready to take action. So, Some examples outside of the work sphere might be a marriage. When a marriage has gotten to the point where it is not loving or healthy for both people, At some point they both know it, But they don't want to admit it. So, There's a pause between that realization and when you sit down and you say, Okay, It's over. Similarly, In the job situation, There may be years that go by when there's chronic illness happening, Constant stress, It's affecting other parts of your life, Maybe personal relationships, You know, Have trouble because you're giving everything to work. There comes a moment when you realize I'm gonna have to leave, But then there's a pause between that and when you decide, Okay, This is it. I'm taking action. And then the third thing is with health. We get those little whispers from our body, Hmm, Something's not right, Or oh, This hurts a lot. And we know it, But we put off saying, Okay, What changes do I need? And the day that you start making changes, Whether it's, You know, Life, Work, Body, Love, It doesn't matter. A miracle takes no time at all. That's the thing to remember. This can't be plotted out on a Google calendar. It really is about going deep within, Taking a deep breath, And then very gently going step by step ahead. The miracle can come in like that and everything is different. You get an invitation, There's like a spontaneous remission, There's suddenly in a grocery store, You run into someone who becomes the love of your life. All of those things are miracles that literally take no time, But what they do take is the commitment to yourself and saying, Maybe I have one life to live, Maybe I have a million, I don't know. But as far as I know, This is my life and I'm going to decide every day how to move through it with as much meaning and harmony and love for myself as possible.