Finding Common Ground In Communication

Aloha.

I'm Reverend Cindy Palos and I really was pondering how important finding common ground is.

We're in a time where the country has been going through,

Well not just the US,

But the entire world has been kind of pulling apart at the seams because of COVID and issues,

Many issues in the world about freedoms,

Vaccinations and things like that.

Because of this,

There's been a great divide that's been created.

And I think also the stress over the last 18,

19 months have caused a lot of people to have buttons pushed pretty easily.

And it's so important to take a step back sometimes and try to find the things that join us together and find common ground rather than things that are pulling us apart.

I wrote a poem this morning.

It says,

Where the seams meet,

The forces of dark and light compete.

And what we truly need is to heal and find some peace.

The seams of life's great tapestry are getting worn and frayed.

We're so tired of the battle,

Let's find some common ground today.

Let's heal our differences and try to stop what's tearing us apart and end those things that split and divide and find a way to unite in time.

The seams of life's great tapestry are getting worn and frayed.

We're so tired of the battle,

Let's find some common ground today.

So I thought I'd look up common ground and how it's used.

And I found some interesting posts.

One was done,

I guess,

During the election time.

It went back a few years here in the U.

S.

And the person brought up how to have conversations with people at a gathering without getting into debates about politics and brought up a lot of good points about it and how you have to be able to talk about things that aren't going to get people upset.

And at the end of the article,

I read the first comment.

And it was so funny.

This is war.

I'll never find a common ground.

This is where they were fighting for.

And I was like,

Wow,

Okay.

But the thing is,

We each have very different views and opinions based on a lot of things.

Many times ways we were taught as children.

There was a great piece in South Pacific,

The musical.

There was a musical piece called You've Got to Be Carefully Taught.

And it dealt with the issue of prejudice,

Which also is something that is involved in some of what we're seeing in the great divide as well.

You know,

There has to be some common ground where we can actually find some peace.

And this is very important if we're spiritual practitioners or for people who meditate.

We find ourselves looking for more peace and looking for more ways to help and share.

It's compassion.

It's understanding.

It's seeing through the illusion of separateness and finding that truth of our oneness on some level.

And when we find that key,

We can find more peace.

In Buddhism,

There's that compassion and a couple of really important key components in the Four Noble Truths that state that the mind of Buddha was actually revealing himself,

Not just in lofty ideals,

But in a way of living that we need to survive.

We need to survive with some understanding and some peace,

With some compassion for our human situation.

We need to have some goodwill.

We need to believe that we can want good for someone else,

And we can want good for ourselves.

And then it comes down to how do we live and communicate that.

And I like to get into pretty deep conversations.

I've been doing interviews for,

Oh gosh,

Most of my life.

I started counting how many interviews I've done.

I think I have over 17,

000 interviews I've done in different radio stations over the years.

And I have found a few keys I want to share with you that might help when you're talking to people and communicating.

The first thing is to listen.

Listening to someone is a wonderful key.

Now when you're listening to someone,

They will know,

And something in them understands that you're really listening.

And everyone has a story to tell.

Some of them have fascinating stories,

But sometimes we never give them a chance to explore and tell their stories.

But when you hear someone's story,

What a wonderful way to find something that you can relate to on a common ground.

So listening is very important,

Remembering that there is a story in everyone's life.

So if you get around subjects that push buttons but really get to the heart of what's going on in their heart,

What's been their life story,

What's in their heart and soul,

There's a common ground there.

We all have people we love.

We all have some family members.

Some may not be alive,

But there have been family members.

We all have things we deal with in our lives every day that are similar.

In fact,

We have more similarities than differences if you look at our DNA.

We have quite a bit of similarity.

It's just that when we get into the ego,

It's hard to let go,

And that ego can get engaged and be a really huge separating factor.

So I'd say the next key here is to let go of the ego.

And if you can let go of the ego,

It's much easier not to have your buttons pushed.

In other words,

Your ego will defend itself to anyone's death almost.

The ego is pretty righteous.

And if your ego is getting bruised or damaged,

Boy,

That can get into a big,

Big,

Big issue.

So again,

Let go of that ego and come from the place of unity,

Come from the place of knowing that there is a connection,

A deep connection that you do in some place have.

And that can also have to do with love.

So the next one I would say is love and finding common ground,

Because we all have love situations in our life.

We all have things that we love.

And those things that we love are part of our hearts and part of our passion.

And everyone's loves are different,

Just like everyone's beliefs are different.

But when you allow someone to communicate about what they love,

You'll be able to communicate on a common ground with them.

That really then is fertile soil for building seeds of understanding and growth together.

Love is such a powerful,

Powerful thing to use in your life in any conversation,

In any exploration of getting to know someone.

So those are the key things I would say that you can remember that are wonderful tools in building a common ground.

So let's go into a meditation here and just go deep into that with ourself.

And you know,

We love to meditate.

So let's just breathe in and allow your breath,

Sweep your mind,

Just breathing deeply in and holding your breath for a few seconds and releasing and letting go.

Breathing in and scan how your body feels.

How does this body feel?

Let's do a body scan starting with your head,

Your eyes,

Your nose,

Your jaw.

Is there any tension there?

Just allow a breath to come in and release and let go of any tension.

Moving down to our neck,

Allowing our neck to be completely tension free.

Just sigh and release any tension in the throat chakra,

In the neck area,

In the shoulders where you can carry tension.

Just let that go and come down to your heart.

How is your heart today?

Ask your heart,

How are you doing,

Heart?

Is there anything there that needs a little more healing and love?

Let's send that heart lots of love and light.

And let go and allow the rest of the torso to be completely cleansed and clear and free.

And down to the second chakra.

Anything that needs to be released and the root chakra.

Now breathe in all the way up from the base of the spine to the head and circle the body going back down from the head to the root of the spine down your spine.

And a protective light around you six feet up six feet below six feet to the right and left.

So you are now putting yourself in a beautiful protective egg.

Protective light all around you and now let's take gold and circle that protective light.

So you're completely safe.

And now let's do that process of listening with ourself.

Let's go within to that place where you are your soul.

Let's just call in your soul's presence.

And let's have that conversation with yourself.

Finding common ground because we know peace begins within.

And from that place of your soul,

Ask yourself.

Have I been listening to my inner child?

Have you?

Have you been listening to your inner needs?

Is there a story there that needs to be told?

Take a moment and just allow yourself to ponder that.

Is there something your inner self needs to communicate that you might have been ignoring?

Okay,

Let's just open that door to the conversation with ourself.

Listening to what we need to hear.

And let's bring in the element of understanding to that place.

Allow yourself to understand all that you've gone through.

There's been so much you've gone through.

Have you been understanding to your body,

To your whole emotional situation with everything going on?

Have you been sending that self love?

Let's just send love to yourself right now.

Real deep appreciation and great love.

You are worthy of that love,

So let's love yourself.

Deep love and appreciation for who you are and what you do and how you have been living and for being here right now.

Just tell yourself,

I love you.

Just tell yourself,

I love you.

Thank you.

I love you.

I appreciate all that you do.

Breathe that in and see how good it feels.

And now breathe in goodwill for yourself.

You have such good in you.

Know that you are an agent for good and goodwill.

And feel how good that knows,

Knowing that you are committed to doing and serving good.

Ah,

Feels wonderful,

Doesn't it?

Like a light bulb has gone off right there over your head.

And now thank yourself one more time as we slowly come back.

And remember the same process that you find common ground in yourself,

You can use.

To find love,

Understanding and peace and common ground in other people.

Believe that.

And if there's something that has come up that you want to write down while you are inside and listening.

Take a few moments to recognize that and write it down.

I thank you so much for finding that common ground together with me here today.

Many,

Many blessings on your journey as you share understanding and love and peace with others and finding common ground.

Bless you always.