Ugh,
Why isn't this looking right?
Oh my gosh.
I'm so frustrated.
This is not looking how I want it to look.
This is me when I was at my last art painting class.
See,
I have always been a perfectionist and this has been something that has been very hard for me to let go of.
But that saying came to my mind as I was writing this speech.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
I didn't understand this popular saying for a long time.
Because of my upbringing in Asian culture,
Perfection in all that you do was a strong value to strive for.
What was beautiful and perfect was predetermined by society or the expectations my family put on me.
Now,
What I thought was everybody had to have this definition of perfection and it didn't matter who you were.
This was the level you had to reach.
I felt I could never reach those expectations.
I remember always looking in the mirror and I was never happy with what I saw.
Lots of times I was actually very angry because I hated looking and feeling different than everyone else around me.
That's how I felt throughout most of my childhood,
Having this inferiority complex that I was never good enough.
But it was not until I became an adult.
After college,
I started to go on my own personal development journey to find myself and discover who I truly was.
And I remembered in college,
I attended a Japanese culture event that was held by one of the clubs.
And I was introduced by friends to sushi and the Japanese animation,
History,
Their culture,
Kimonos.
I was done.
I fell in love.
I even wanted to be Japanese at some point.
I probably can pass it off as being Japanese,
Right?
And then I came across the ancient Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi,
Something I had been practicing actually for quite some time,
But I was not aware of it.
In traditional Chinese aesthetics,
Wabi-sabi is a worldview centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.
The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of appreciating beauty that is imperfect,
Impermanent,
And incomplete in nature.
It is prevalent in many forms of Japanese art.
And one is the art of bonsai,
That you let the plant grow naturally in its natural state.
You appreciate the beauty for what it is.
Richard Powell,
Author of the book Wabi-sabi Simple,
He noted that nothing lasts,
Nothing is finished,
Nothing is perfect,
And this is okay.
It is necessary to learn that we can find beauty and imperfection,
That we must honor the fleeting nature of experiences and existence itself by savoring and living in the present moment.
Life is not perfect,
But that is beautiful.
And nothing is permanent,
Which is why every moment is sacred.
I love that because I wish I learned that sooner,
Because lots of times I would be so anxious and so nervous or upset if my plans didn't go right,
If people were not a certain way.
I remember I was single for so long because I had these very,
Very,
Very strict recommendations of what a guy had to be in order for me to like them.
And you can figure out how that worked out for me.
Yeah,
It didn't really work out.
Poor guys,
I would shut myself off if they didn't do things properly,
If they didn't talk to me correctly,
If they didn't give me these certain gifts.
A lot of people thought I might have been standoffish,
But mostly I was just really shy.
I just didn't know how to communicate my feelings and my thoughts.
And as I learned to accept the philosophy of Wabi Sabi in my life,
It became more healthy,
A healthier way to live and appreciate what was around me.
So three ways you can practice living by the Wabi Sabi way of life.
And what I have learned up to this time,
Up to this moment,
Of what I've found to be very effective in applying in my life is one,
Simplify your life or your living space by letting go of attachment to possessions.
Decluttering your home would be a great way to start,
Especially during winter.
We start collecting things like a bear,
Hibernation when you come out.
It feels more free and you can let the energy flow through your home more if you don't have a lot of clutter in your workspace or in your bedroom or your basement.
I just went through that recently,
Preparing for actually tomorrow we're having like a housewarming party.
We collect all these things over so many years and they just collected in our basement.
And in a new house,
We're trying to clear a lot of things.
And it was really hard,
But it now feels so rewarding seeing that,
Wow,
We have a lot of space and there's room for more stuff.
Number two,
Try to value your time by identifying your priorities in life.
Figuring out what's needs versus wants.
I know a lot of people and I used to be like this too,
That I would have to say yes to everything when people invited me to parties and to do this or do that or you should do this,
You should help me with this.
And I realized that was so stressful living that way.
And when I put myself first and putting my value,
My time,
Because I know life is very fleeting and focusing more on things I want to do.
When I do that,
I'm more full,
I'm more happy and I can be more present for people in my life and the people I love.
And this leads to the third thing that I've really learned by practicing Wabasabi that maybe could help you live more in the moment by removing everyday distractions.
And this is still a hard thing for me,
But I keep trying to remind myself.
And one thing definitely could be these cell phones.
These get in our way so much by connecting with the people around us.
How often have you seen it when you go to the restaurant?
You see people eating together,
But they're not there with each other.
They're on their phones and are talking to someone else.
It's like,
Oh,
Why are you even in the restaurant?
There's no point.
And instead of doing that,
Being distracted,
Spend time in nature.
Just be like with the person that you love over dinner.
Sit with them and talk to them.
Connect with them.
I've come to appreciate life more by living this way.
Most importantly,
Appreciating all the different aspects of myself and my personality and how I look at the world.
And I am different and it's a good thing.
Like I'm an empath.
I love having deep conversations.
I have a soft spot for animals and I really care about my family and people and helping uplift people so they can be enlightened and inspired every day and help them follow their dreams.
I used to see this as a hindrance or a weakness,
Even a curse sometimes,
But it's needed in this world.
I realized if I looked at the world that way,
When more people need more compassion and love,
It's more easier to accept who I am and I realize I'm in the right place at the right time.
There is a lot of beauty in seeing the imperfect things in this world as perfect as the way they are.
And beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder.
So after three hours,
I told myself this is good enough when it came to this painting and this is what I created.
What can you create in your life if you let go of any limitations that hold you back and accept and appreciate your imperfections?
I challenge you to have a more open mind,
More open eyes,
And a more of an open heart to see the beauty and perfection all around us in this imperfect world.
I believe you will be pleasantly surprised with what you find.
