by Dehlia
Deadlines are scary. Are you hiding from the world because you've missed an important deadline? My name is Dehlia Bates. Here are four suggestions, and reflections that I hope will help you along your journey. Let's do this together!
Transcript
Hello, My name is Delia Bates. I'm a licensed teacher, Professor, And coach in the state of Maryland. And today I'd like to talk about deadlines. So often it feels like with deadlines that we are trapping ourselves in time, Instead of seeing a deadline as a constructive tool. Deadlines can be tricky because when we limit what we can do to something as elusive and slippery as time, We may be setting ourselves up for disappointment. Now I'm not talking about healthy, Flexible goals. Goal setting is important as valuable time can always find a way to be wasted. And not setting goals can cause you to miss out on income and can tarnish your reputation. But again, We want to avoid time becoming a trap. Let's for a minute consider the expression, A stitch in time saves nine. I have not until recently thought about this old cliche, But as someone who never learned to sew and is a lover of fessio, I now have more than a few fraying garments due to my lack of shopping during the pandemic. I can appreciate now that if I'd been able to do a small, Hearty stitch and afraid piece or buckle down and found a competent seamstress, Then a few of the lovely pieces I have now would not be torn along seams, Almost splitting into some of my favorite wares. Now don't worry about me. I've been working for over 20 years and for years, I'd allow myself to purchase at least one piece of clothing every season. Not to mention that after a while people started to buy me clothes, Which I'm grateful for, And I do wear, But also my clothing pile up even more. And I like to go to the thrift store. I challenge any bargain hunters among you to walk out of any self-respecting thrift store with less than three or four pieces. To complicate matters even more, I changed my style of dress during the lockdown. Like many of us, I took the opportunity during the pandemic to live more authentically, Which has led to the buying of more clothes that reflect my new authenticity. I love my new style, But this has caused even more of a backlog in my old clothing. Now, There may be many out there saying two years is the max for holding onto something you haven't worn. And while I understand the wisdom of that expression, It's not really helping me right now since I know that I will wear more of these clothes the more the country and the world heals from the epidemic. But the fact still remains that now I have clothing that, While still beautiful, Is not maintained as well as it would have been had the pandemic never happened. I say this to say that while a stitch in time saves nine is a great concept, Sometimes you miss your window. But I'm here with good news. The good news is you can still salvage what you have left. I suffer from the occasional panic attack, And if you are a fellow sufferer, Then maybe you can recognize when the attack is coming on. You get a buzz in your head, You might start to shiver all over, Maybe you even want to hide. I've literally taken sunglasses out in a bright room in the Department of Motor Vehicles trying to hide from not just the stress of being there, But the bright fluorescent lights above. It's been my experience that it's hard to get anything done under bright fluorescent lights and not feel an enormous amount of stress. So when you are worried about your next deadline, Here are my suggestions. Number one, Please continue to set deadlines. There are an important part of moving forward. But instead of giving yourself a set date and just try giving yourself a rain out date along with your set date. People that plan important events know the importance of a date and a rain out or alternate date, Especially as COVID cases continue to rise and fall. Reschedules have become the norm and more necessary than ever. Why not give yourself a rain out date? Rain out dates are important because they take the pressure off of planners and participants who need an event to happen. People know what they can to block two dates on their calendar. So if the first event is postponed, They can easily plan for the event on the make up day. Two, Write out your steps and make them as small and reachable as possible. Say you want to learn the piano. Pianos can be expensive and they are very difficult to get around. If you go to a church or acclimated with a school, It's usually not too hard to practice your lessons on a free instrument. Many people find it a lot harder to focus when they're at home with all of the wonderful distractions our loved ones can give us anyway. The other option is to buy a more affordable keyboard like I did when I moved into a smaller home. I was friends with a music major in college. We shared a small two bedroom apartment. She had two keyboards, A long one and one that was about two feet that she kept for emergency conferences, Concerts to herself. It can be made to work with the piano so you can also find a way to get whatever resource you need to move your own special goal along. Three, If you miss your deadline immediately, Stop. Look over what you were able to accomplish. I can say this to you without reserve and that is that most people never even get off the bench. And now that you understand how important that early planning is, Things will move much more swiftly for you the next time. Four, Look around you at your support system. See if you've picked up someone new in your life that's been doing it a little bit longer and who would be willing to have someone new in their community. I have a cousin training now to bike a Centennial. He explained that this means he will bike 100 miles. He started out small and before the pandemic I know he could easily bike 10 miles or more. Now 100 miles is a long way from 10, But he has a strong support system of people that he's been biking with for years. It's his passion. And I know the biking community has been essential in his growth. When you make the first brave steps out into the world, It's almost inevitable that people will encourage you and come to your aid. At first they might even ask you for help, Which will shock you because you haven't been doing it all that long yourself. So my advice is to make that first stitch to the best of your ability. But if you can't or you've missed it, Like my still beautifully rendered garments, There is an opportunity for you to realize your dreams through micro steps and compassionate, Kind goal setting where you work for the best result and don't let the result work you. Thank you so much for listening. I hope these words and suggestions have been beneficial to you. I hope these words have inspired you and helped give you just a little more clarity on how you can give yourself a motivational timeline and not a dreaded one. I'm going to do the same. So let's do this together.
