Samhain Samhain Samhain Samhain Samhain Self-enquiry theory It will be remembered that in the chapter on self-awareness and self-ignorance Sri Ramana maintained that self-realization could be brought about merely by giving up the idea that there is an individual self which functions through the body and the mind.
Stop there.
This is hard to swallow.
Yes?
That which you have put in the parking lot,
What is he asking you to do?
Giving up the idea completely.
Yes?
He is saying give it up if it is coupled with your body and mind.
It is coupled with body-mind.
That is the way you see it.
Your ego is hidden behind it.
That is why you say,
I the Self.
And there would not be an I there.
Who says I?
The ego.
The ego inside me says I.
The ego inside me says me or mine.
So it is coupled with the mind anyways.
I don't want to see it.
But who doesn't want to see this truth?
The ego.
I told you this is going to be your total breakthrough,
Either this way or that way.
He is going to break all your concepts.
Anything that which is not your experience,
Ramana said,
You have to give it up.
Otherwise it will be an obstacle in your own growth.
Because your growth comes from your experience,
It doesn't come from your fake belief.
Otherwise by now you should be enlightened.
You had a fake belief for whatever,
20,
30,
40,
50 years of your life.
Why aren't you enlightened yet?
Tell me.
You believed,
No?
Are you getting it?
He is taking you there through the path of experience.
Which means you have to shun everything else that is not your experience.
Otherwise there you will bring up your fake beliefs.
And then what will you do?
You will muddy your beautiful,
Pure experience with all fake concepts,
Beliefs.
You will be lost again.
You will not get there.
So who is losing out?
I,
Because I am stuck into it.
So I have to give up this idea completely.
So then what does the self mean when he says the self?
The awareness.
Absolute awareness.
He does not talk about the individual soul at all.
Now people who were stuck in that,
He said,
Ok TK,
If you want to believe you do that,
But that is not his teaching.
He is just not harsh on anybody.
If you cannot get it,
You cannot get it.
That's fine.
He is not going to say it to you,
But in his head he said next lifetime.
It's not going to be hard to you.
So when he speaks,
He just speaks few words and to the point.
So if you will do the question and answers,
You will see they just short 1,
2,
3 sentences.
Either you get it or you don't.
He is not going to push it and convince you and beat you up and all that.
You get it?
That's why if you are up there,
You just needed this instruction and you get there.
A few of his advanced devotees were able to do this quickly and easily.
But the others found it virtually impossible to discard the ingrained habits of a lifetime without undertaking some form of spiritual practice.
So don't worry if you are not in the first category of people.
It's okay.
We are in the second category.
Take care.
Sri Ramana sympathized with their predicament and whenever he was asked to prescribe a spiritual practice which would facilitate self-awareness,
He would recommend a technique he called self-inquiry.
Who am I?
It's self-inquiry.
In Sanskrit it is antara vichara.
But vichara word in Hindi is thought.
But it is not thought.
It is an inner investigation,
Inner quest.
That is the correct translation of antara vichara.
Inner quest or inner investigation.
If it is not your personal experience,
Whatever anyone says,
Then it is never going to be the perfect one.
It's a path for you.
Never.
Because when it's a fake belief,
It's a fake belief.
Sooner or later your intellect will come up and say,
It's a fake belief.
I don't know.
That is why you continue to have spiritual path doubts.
Wherever you go,
You doubt.
You doubt the teacher.
You doubt.
Because it is that person's experience that you are taking and saying,
This is now my belief.
So what are you really doubting?
Are you doubting that person?
This that I have taken.
Udhar e udhar.
Loan.
It's not mine.
I don't own it.
Do you understand the difference?
It's a loan.
Something which I do not own,
I can never really have complete confidence in it.
You get it?
That's why the doubt will keep coming up.
Because it is borrowed.
No,
I have taken it from Shiva.
Shiva taught me this.
So I have borrowed it from Shiva.
Shiva taught me this.
It is Nitesh's jnana.
It is Shiva's jnana.
But it is not Ekta's jnana yet.
So I will continuously keep doubting.
But what am I really doubting?
This that I have loaned from them.
He is saying,
You drop this loan only.
Very clear.
You buy down payment.
Down payment.
You buy down payment only.
If you don't have,
You don't get any mortgage.
You buy only as much as,
Pe rutna phala jitni chadar hai.
My Hindi is better than my English.
Only as much as I can experience,
I take that much step and I will be very confident in that practice.
Because it is my experience.
Then if I can just take one more step,
I only take that much step.
Because I am a baby.
This is all that I can experience right now.
And I am comfortable where I am.
I don't try to compete with her because she is there.
Do you see what I am saying?
When I say drop spiritual competition.
Then if I try to purposely fill this gap,
What am I doing?
Just because she is there and I start making my self-belief,
I have to also be there.
Oh I am also there.
I also understand it.
What have I done?
Become a donkey in a car.
Donkey.
I am serious.
I want to fulfill something without experience.
Yes.
So again I have taken loan from her.
Are you getting it?
It's not mine.
So you are taking that experience.
Correct.
And we do this no?
Somebody says I had this experience,
I had this experience.
No I also had that experience.
Finished.
Now I fooled myself.
Who is the biggest fool here?
Sir.
Sir.
Ramana is saying be very very clear.
That which is not your experience,
Put it in the parking lot.
One day I will get there.
Right now,
Honestly,
I am not there.
It's so simple.
So easy to live with yourself then.
Isn't it?
Yes.
Because I am not faking it.
No?
I am so easy,
At ease.
Yes.
I have nothing to worry about.
There is no internal struggle going on with yourself that I do not know this,
But I am trying to know it,
Or I have to believe it because it's my religious faith,
Or because this is what I was taught.
But I have to do it and then this whole thing,
The drama drops away because I have made a resolution to be with what is my experience.
Then the path becomes very clean,
Very simple,
Very straight.
Get it?
Is it faster also?
No,
In fact it's faster.
Because you are not fooling yourself.
You lose a lot of time in the merry-go-round in your head.
Don't you think you have lost a lot of time?
You have been doing this.
What I am saying very cryptically,
You have been doing this to yourself.
So you are seeing how much time you have lost.
Why aren't you enlightened yet?
That's because of that merry-go-round that we have played in our own head,
With ourselves.
It's a very clear-cut,
Straight path.
We have given rise to all the paraphernalia.
This practice was the cornerstone of his practical philosophy and the next three chapters will be devoted to a detailed presentation of all its aspects.
Before embarking on a description of the technique itself,
It will be necessary to explain Sri Ramana's views on the nature of the mind,
Since the aim of self-inquiry is to discover by direct experience that the mind is non-existent.
What is the aim of self-inquiry?
Mind does not exist.
Till you don't come to this conclusion on your own,
Means the process is not over.
He is giving you a milestone.
The final milestone he is telling you right now,
That when you recognize that mind does not exist,
The process is culminated.
You have reached.
Right now mind exists for you?
So we have to begin.
So we are at step one of the path.
But we know the destination.
What is the destination?
Mind is non-existent.
According to Sri Ramana,
Every conscious activity of the mind or body revolves around the tacit assumption that there is an I who is doing something.
You always have this assumption,
There is an I.
Now let's see what kind of I's you have.
The common factor in I think,
I remember,
I am acting is the I who assumes that it is responsible for all these activities.
Are you getting it?
There is a doership all the time.
I am doing,
I am thinking,
I am listening,
I am reading.
I am saying yes to it.
Are you seeing this?
There is an I over there.
It is very silent,
Very quiet.
Can you observe that I?
There is a quiet I.
The capital I,
Not the I.
The capital I.
That is saying now I am listening.
Because she asked me to listen.
I am listening.
Are you observing the I?
Drop the I am listening.
Just catch the I.
It's nothing.
It's a glimpse.
It's one second.
It was there when I was.
But when you say drop it,
It's gone.
Just these glimpses,
This glimpse that you got of it's gone.
What was gone?
I.
So what was there?
Nothing.
Nothing.
What is this nothing?
We just described it.
The awareness.
You were there.
For one second it happened to you and it went again.
Are you seeing this?
Good job.
Good job.
You are doing it.
So when I stop reading you stop reading.
Because I keep doing the process in between.
So my question is.
Right now,
Like understanding dropping the mind.
That's our final destination.
But to understand that part we need the body and the mind to understand this knowledge.
So without.
Yeah,
Yeah.
We use it for what it is.
You pick up a hammer to put the nail into the ground.
You don't sit with the hammer.
The whole day I need the hammer.
I need the hammer.
I need the hammer.
Body and mind are a tool.
We are going to use it to get to a particular destination and drop.
We'll get there.
The mind should not become your master.
Right now is it your master or not?
Yes.
Who is the slave?
I.
You have become the slave.
Are you noticing that?
He is teaching you a shortcut to become the master and make the mind the slave.
It's a reverse process.
Yeah.
If you keep your concepts out.
You will get there very quickly.
If you jumble yourself with all those concepts.
I want to hold on to all that and this.
Then you won't get there.
Yes.
Unlearn,
Unlearn,
Unlearn.
Just clearly look at experience and drop everything else.
It's a very universal teaching.
It's not Hindu or it's not Muslim or Christian.
There is no religion involved here.
Everybody can experience the awareness.
Do you get it?
It's a very neutral liberal teaching.
Though he came from a Hindu background himself.
But he himself shunned everything.
And he was very very clear.
Then after that people started making bhajans in his name also.
And the name of the mountain also.
So all that infiltration happens in every path.
But his teaching is very very pure.
So we just stick to the pure teachings.
Yeah.
So I will read that sentence again.
This is very important.
The common factor in I think,
I remember,
I am acting is the I who assumes that it is responsible for all these activities.
He calls it in Sanskrit aham vritti.
I thought.
Sri Ramana called this common factor the I thought aham vritti.
Literally aham vritti means mental modification of I.
The self or real I never imagines that it is doing or thinking anything.
So now before I move ahead I'm going to help you understand what this self means.
So for the online PDF it is on page 10.
The last paragraph of the introduction.
Page 6 in the book in the PDF page 10.
The original text from which these conversations are taken are characterized by a luxuriant profusion of capital letters.
I have eliminated most of them leaving only three terms guru,
Self and heart.
Consistently capitalized.
Sri Ramana often used these terms as synonyms for consciousness.
Understood?
Consciousness or awareness.
What we are calling at stage 1 awareness and stage 2 becomes consciousness.
The same thing.
So he does not talk about the individual soul or individual self.
When he says self what does it mean?
Awareness.
So whenever self is written with a capital S you can just strike it out and write absolute awareness.
So you are very clear what he is saying.
Because we can't keep referring to what David Godman has translated.
The original language in which Ramana spoke was either Tamil,
Telugu and Malayalam.
He knew all the three languages.
Then there used to be an interpreter who used to interpret it in English.
Ramana knew English but wasn't fluent probably.
So he spoke in the local language and the Westerners in the room had the interpreter translating.
But if the interpreter made a mistake Ramana would correct him.
So it's not that Ramana didn't know English.
Ramana has actually gone through the book and approved all these question answers that we are going to read.
So very clear.
Self is the absolute awareness.
We'll go back now.
What was your page number?
I don't know.
47.
For the online PDF it is 67.
The self or real I never imagines that it is doing or thinking.
So we are going to strike the self and write absolute awareness.
The absolute awareness or real I never imagines that it is doing or thinking anything.
The I that imagines all this is a mental fiction and so it is called a mental modification of the self.
So mental modification of the absolute awareness.
This might be a little difficult to understand at stage one but I'll still explain it for the benefit of people who have automatically gone ahead.
When you notice that from the awareness of the body and the awareness of the breath and awareness of the thoughts you suddenly became aware of awareness.
And then you slipped out you noticed what is the same awareness that became the thought and said yes or no or whatever.
Did you notice it?
So it is the mental modification of the same awareness that is the mind.
So if you have not experienced this be a little more aware see when a thought comes and takes you away from the quiet state you will notice it.
It is the same awareness that turns around and becomes the mind.
It is like the same person suddenly changes the hat and you know it is like a joker.
Wears a hat and becomes the mind and that only becomes pain in the body and becomes the body.
And for a few seconds you were taught the pure awareness where there was no body and no mind.
Do you understand the word modification now?
There is no imagination happening here.
Imagination belongs to mind.
Very clear?
Basically when we think that the awareness is lost.
It is the mind thinking that the awareness is lost.
So it is just the awareness looking outward.
And then suddenly we are like ok I am back there.
That is the mental modification drops.
Correct.
So when there is that glimpse of silence that moment of silence you are in that awareness.
And you lose that silence and there is chatter you have gone to the mind.
Again you come back here.
While looking at me it will happen.
Don't think this is all a distraction.
This all can be a part of me being aware.
Are you getting it?
If you practice this I want you to reach stage 2 then I want to give it to you.
I don't want to tell it to you before that because then the thirst starts.
I want to be there.
I want to be there.
I want you to get there.
So get there and then I will describe stage 2 to you.
So does it happen that for example I am looking at you and I am listening to you.
But there is somebody behind me who is looking.
Yes beautiful.
So there is like a background.
Are you at least there?
What she is describing.
Like a background and foreground.
In the foreground there is the mind,
There is the body.
All this drama,
All these thoughts.
It is a change from the me differentiated right?
Yes.
So she is calling it background and foreground.
At least do you understand it as background and foreground?
So like I feel when I am looking at me there is an eye behind me which is looking at me.
Yes behind me.
Fantastic.
Good good good.
Somewhere you are starting.
Everybody is there.
I want to be very sure.
I think that the mental modification of the body.
Mental modification is a very big English word.
Just means natak.
Just the natak,
The joker puts on another hat,
Starts talking.
Or the body,
Oh this is paining,
That is hurting,
I have to sit here.
It has taken you away from that one moment of quiet.
That one moment of nothingness.
All the drama of the body-mind complex.
Modification.
Taking the identity of the body.
Taking identity of the body.
Give her a simpler word.
Modification is a very big word for her.
So either mind or awareness is one of the risks.
Right now at stage one.
I am telling you to come to a point with practice where both are there.
Practice.
Only with practice with that interest in yourself will you be able to do this.
If you don't have the interest in yourself,
It's not happening.
Forget about it.
You had the passion to study your geography,
Your history,
Your arithmetic and you got where you got today in life.
You had that interest,
You loved that subject and you got there.
That's how you got your full marks.
Correct?
So if you want your full marks you have to be very interested in yourself.
If you are bored of your own self.
Next lifetime.
Number one prerequisite is interest in your own self.
So much interest.
So much interest that you are constantly there.
Constantly there.
Constantly making an effort to be there.
Clear?
We have a question online.
It says,
When I pay attention to object and subject I find myself being aware of breath.
Is that ok?
Yeah,
It's ok.
But if it's distracting you,
Forget about the object.
Just focus more on the subject for now so that your practice strengthens.
Easily you will notice the objects are there anyway.
Where did they go?
They cannot go anywhere.
But if you are getting to this point right now,
Fantastic.
Now stay on the subject.
Be there.
Be there.
You have to strengthen this practice.
And I hope you are not trying to move your eyes in and out while doing this.
It's not a physical exercise.
It's a practice of changing the subject from outside the breath and whatever you go through.
And then looking at the awareness.
Is that correct?
No,
It's not the subject.
What you are saying is correct.
First I was looking here,
Now I am looking here.
Subject is the one that looks.
Object is that which is looked at.
These are technical words.
Leave them aside.
The one who was looking has now started looking at himself.
Do you get it?
Didi,
I feel that when I am smiling and relaxing,
I am basically meditating with my eyes open.
And whenever I am losing my awareness,
My shoulders suddenly become stiff.
And then I relax and open.
Now are you able to maintain the awareness throughout whatever you were doing?
I could do a few seconds and then again I lost,
Then I was aware,
Then I became aware,
Relaxed.
So use that relax and smile if that is working for you.
If that is too much of a distraction,
Drop it.
Just be.
Whatever works for you is good.
Right now make an effort to be like this.
So you are listening to me also,
You are reading also and at the same time you are aware of awareness.
Is it getting too heavy?
It's simple,
Simple right?
It's only stage one.
In Japjisa you gave an example of a pregnant woman.
How a pregnant woman walks,
Whatever she is doing,
Cleaning,
Cooking,
Whatever.
She is constantly aware of the baby in the womb.
There is a constant awareness.
She doesn't have to hold the baby or talk about it.
Whatever she is doing,
It's just there at the back of the mind that you know,
There is a baby and I should not bend down or anything.
She is very careful.
Whatever she is doing and full day she will be working but she is very aware of the baby.
That same awareness I am saying you have a baby inside.
Be aware.
Hold it there,
Hold it there,
Hold it there.
You will slip because of habit patterns,
That's ok.
Again hold it.
Again you will slip,
Again you hold it.
You have to keep doing this a zillion times and you have to have patience with yourself.
You are not going to be able to master it immediately.
Don't even expect that of yourself.
I will do it a zillion times if that's what is required.
Have that kind of interest in that effort and you will be able to hold it.
Clear?
Isn't it like distractions?
When you are looking inside at the same time looking outside and.
.
The inside is a distraction for outside.
So whatever you concentrate on that goes,
The other becomes a distraction.
That's where we are losing it.
In the beginning it might seem like a distraction,
You still work on it.
In the beginning it feels like I will never get higher mathematics.
So it's so tough,
I will never get it.
But then you work,
When you work hard you work hard,
You go to tuition,
You study extra.
And finally that will seem like impossible,
Became possible.
Just like that.
Be kind to yourself,
It's okay I am finding it hard but I can do this.
I can do this and you will get it.
Little bit of effort is required only initially.
A point will come when you will be on autopilot.
But till that point you will have to make an effort.
Everybody's autopilot point is different.
So you will get to an autopilot.
You understand autopilot?
Not too technical.
Autopilot means automatically you will be aware.
This will be automatic.
You don't have to make an effort.
But till the time you get to that point,
Make an effort.
Then it becomes effortless.
In fact you cannot make an effort after that.
You just have to let go.
Like you have to make an effort to run behind a train that has left the platform.
Your train has left the platform long ago.
You are actually climbing on to somebody else's train now.
Ramana's train.
You started running,
You got onto the bogie and then it's effortless.
So you had to make that effort of running to get into the bogie.
Like that you will have to make the effort till a point.
So have that interest.
Make that effort.
However tough it seems,
Have that interest in yourself.
If you are bored of yourself then I cannot blame your family members for being bored of you.
See how boring you are that means.
So have that love for yourself.
Yes,
I can be aware.
She is not asking me to do something outside of me,
It is inside.
It is for me.
You are clear?
No,
I don't get anything from your awareness?
There is no 2% commission involved here.
There is no commission.
I don't get anything.
Clear?
In the beginning when I was learning to drive a car,
I had to be aware of what is coming on.
So many aspects of the car.
I was thinking I am doing that,
I am doing that.
Now after some efforts,
For some knowledge,
I am just driving effortless.
There is no much doing in that.
Correct.
Just like in learning anything,
Whether car or skates or playing the guitar or whatever you learnt in life.
Clear?
Since this is a rather cumbersome translation of Ahamritti,
It is usually translated as I thought.
So whenever he talks about I thought,
What will you understand?
Awareness.
Mental modification.
Whenever I thought comes up,
It means it is a mental modification.
I am eating,
I am talking,
I am doing,
I am listening,
I am reading.
All these thoughts that come up are mental modifications.
They are I thought.
Very clear?
What is I thought?
Ahamritti.
Britti itself means modification.
What if we try to say that awareness is going out to the senses?
Yeah,
Okay.
Say that.
That's also fine.
Modification Kileshi is telling you an easier way to see that the awareness is going outward.
Yeah?
It is not a modification.
Awareness is on awareness.
Ahamritti.
Modification of the awareness.
Mental modification of the absolute awareness.
Ahamritti.
I.
Modification.
I thought.
You can't see it.
Basically you try to think it in a different angle.
Like modifying what is there.
Anything that which is not quiet,
Silence,
Nothingness,
Is a mental modification.
So is it because of the ego,
This mental modification?
Yeah,
Ego,
Mind,
Body,
Body says I am tired,
Finished.
They are out.
So technically anything modified is not real.
Correct.
Anything that takes you away from the awareness is modification.
Simple.
Sometimes there are some people like that,
I am not into that.
Yeah,
Yeah.
But.
.
.
You are in a hamritti right now.
You are not in awareness.
Right.
But at the same time something else is also like.
.
.
Yeah.
Processes.
Yes,
Yes,
Yes.
Is that what it is,
Modification?
Yes,
The whole thing,
Everything is mental modification.
But if you are aware that you are doing this I,
If you are aware of that modification,
Then are you still aware?
Well,
If you are continuously aware,
If there is a blip in your awareness,
Then you are lost in the I.
I thought.
You will come to a point,
That's what I am saying,
The next stage where this will be constant,
Which will be there.
So you will be in your awareness and there will be mental modification going on.
Whatever is required only.
Not unnecessarily drama in the mind,
I did this,
Then he did this,
Then that happened,
Then that happened.
This is unnecessary story.
Yeah.
Only that which is required I need to answer a question,
I answer the question,
I come back to my awareness.
So this has become my tool.
This has become the master.
It can withdraw the tool when it wants and when it is required somebody asks a question,
The tool is out again.
Does it work?
It's withdrawn,
It comes back.
Do you get it?
Very clear now?
I thought is mental modification.
I thought is mental modification.
