Hello and welcome back to Unleash Your Peace.
My name is Ellie Shoja.
I am your host.
I am a positive mindset coach,
A personal transformation expert,
A deliberate creator,
And I am your peace trainer.
And Unleash Your Peace is your peace training.
It is a podcast in which every single week we dive into a different aspect of the internal world.
We do that over the course of five episodes,
Which I then release Monday through Friday.
The episodes are super short.
They're about 10 minutes each.
And the whole point of that is every day you have something that takes you inward.
You have something uplifting,
Thought provoking to think about,
To listen to,
Because when you go into yourself,
That's when you start shedding all of the stuff you're carrying with you,
All this pain that no longer serves you.
And you start tapping into the peace that is underneath it.
So your peace always resides within you and you start living your best life.
When you live from this place of peace and joy and connectedness to that non-physical part of you that holds all of your potential,
Your life doesn't just incrementally improve.
Actually every aspect of your life levels up in a major way.
You become whole,
You become a deliberate creator,
And you become an uplifter in your community and your family.
That is my wish for you.
I want every single person listening to this podcast,
Living on this planet to achieve and live their dreams because essentially that's how we level up as a society.
This week we are talking about vulnerability.
We have such a hard time being vulnerable as human beings and it's because it is so uncomfortable.
A lot of what makes us vulnerable has that underpinning,
That coloring of shame all over it.
We feel unworthy when we are that exposed.
We feel like people are going to know what we are,
Who we are,
And then they're going to stop loving us because we feel most of the time like a fraud or a lot of us do.
Some people out there might not be,
But a lot of people when they feel exposed,
They feel fear,
They feel unworthiness,
They feel unloveableness.
They feel like there's something deeply wrong with them.
And they feel like if people see that thing that is wrong with them,
People are not going to care about them.
Quite frankly,
It is a loss.
It is associated with shame.
It is associated with loss.
But what happens when we don't allow ourselves to feel vulnerable,
We talked about this a couple of days ago,
Is like we're living our lives inside a glass cage.
Nobody can really get to know us to the point that we can't even get to know ourselves fully.
And how can we live full lives if we are not allowing ourselves to be our full selves?
And today I want to talk about vulnerability and heartbreak.
And I kind of alluded to this yesterday when I made the connection between living with an open heart with being vulnerable.
When you are vulnerable,
You're exposing yourself,
But what you're actually exposing is your heart.
When we allow ourselves to completely be seen is when we allow our hearts to be seen,
When we don't barricade and close up our hearts.
When we go through a breakup,
For example,
That feels like a heartbreak.
And I want to get to that in just a moment.
But before I get to it,
I want to really hone in on this heart real quickly and talk about what it looks like to be vulnerable in a relationship,
To be vulnerable as we go through our lives.
What it looks like is I express love.
I express what is flowing through me without any guarantee,
Without any expectation of reciprocation.
So if I am able to come to the table completely open,
Completely vulnerable,
That means I am willing to and able to express love and affection without really needing to know that that love and affection is going to be returned to me in some way.
Now that's very difficult for people to do because how do you expose yourself without a guarantee?
How do you go all in without knowing what is awaiting you on the other side of that threshold?
How can you be the first person to say,
I love you?
And how can you continue to allow that love to flow through you even when that person on the receiving end has expressed to you that they don't feel the same way about you?
Today,
I want to make the argument that heartbreak is not when your heart actually breaks.
Heartbreak is actually when the walls around your heart break and disintegrate.
What happens when that happens?
What happens is your heart is now exposed.
What you apply to this exposed heart is going to either bring you pleasure or it's going to bring you pain.
If you apply to it this story that the person I have expressed my love to,
I have funneled and flowed the love to,
Does not love me and therefore I am unlovable.
That is going to be a painful thought.
If you soften that a bit and say,
This person does not love me the way that I want them to love me and the way that I expected them to love me.
Now something starts to shift within your heart.
It doesn't mean anything about you or your worth that this person was not able to experience the love that you expected of them.
It is okay for them to not love you the way that you wanted them to love you.
But now this realization opens up space for something new,
Which is it doesn't mean that this person is not flowing love toward you.
It simply means that it's not the kind of love that you wanted.
It's not the type of validation that you were expecting that you wanted from this person.
And if you allow your heart to remain open in that realization,
If you allow love to flow,
To continue to flow through your heart,
Even as it is exposed in this way,
And you don't immediately jump into this action of re-barricading it,
Recovering it up,
Re-hiding it.
What happens is something really profound and incredibly transformative,
Which is you start experiencing the receiving of the love that they are able to flow to you.
Because now the stories you have constructed around the rejection or the perceived rejection that you internalized no longer are valid.
They no longer exist.
They start crumbling and falling away.
If you are love personified,
If you are love individualized,
You cannot be unlovable.
If you are the power,
The consciousness of the universe in this physical form,
You cannot be unworthy.
So if you are lovable and you are worthy,
You are in the receiving of love that is flowing to you.
And if you feel like your heart is broken,
You are in the most beautiful place because your heart in this moment is open.
It is unguarded.
And that means the love that you are can flow through your own heart.
All you have to do is sink into that love and experience it.
Allow yourself to experience the love.
And who do you flow that love to?
First and foremost,
To yourself.
If we are not able to flow love to ourselves,
If we are not able to be compassionate with ourselves,
If we are not able to be vulnerable with ourselves,
Which is the state of being completely open and unguarded,
Then we cannot be loving and compassionate and vulnerable with other people.
It is an impossibility.
And this is why when you allow yourself to sit in that place of quote unquote heartbreak,
And I put it now in quotes because now you understand it is not a heartbreak.
It is a breaking down of the barriers around your heart.
So when you are in that place of complete exposure,
Complete openness,
And you allow that love to flow through you and you allow yourself to connect to that love,
This is why you're then able to receive the love that the person who was not able to express the love you wanted towards you is flowing towards you.
The love that they're able to flow toward you may be different than what you expected,
But it is there.
I guarantee you it is there.
And when you're able to tap into the love that is you,
You are able to receive that love from them as well.
So I will leave you with that today.
There's so much to cover for us with vulnerability.
And I'm just touching on some of the things that have transformed my life personally.
But this discussion around vulnerability,
It is so huge and it is so important to your wellbeing that I hope you take this to heart and you seek out more content on this topic beyond just these five short episodes.
So until tomorrow,
When we come back,
Do check out instagram.
Com and find peace unleashed on there.
Leave some of those love notes that I share with you.
And by the way,
I would not be able to tap into this deep love that you feel when you read those messages that I share on Instagram.
If I hadn't been vulnerable with myself,
If I hadn't sat with myself and just exposed my own heart,
Opened my own heart and tapped into the love that exists within my heart and flowed that first of all to myself and then every person around me and now towards you.
And if you want to work with me at any capacity,
You can reach out to me through my website.
It's peace unleashed.
Com.
If you feel compelled,
Do leave a message,
Do leave a review on this podcast.
I would love for more people to be able to find it.
And I really do appreciate you writing a review for it.
And until tomorrow,
When we come back and go a little bit deeper,
I wish you a very peaceful day.
