Dear love,
What would you have me know about loving and trusting myself?
My love,
My dear sweet love,
What's not to love,
What's not to trust?
You are worth so much more than you think,
And you just can't see it,
Can you?
Your hypervigilance has you enslaved,
You scan people's faces looking for disapproval.
Every shake of the head,
Every smirk,
Every frown has you on edge and looking for a hole to dive into so you can hide your light in case it offends anyone.
The stories you tell yourself are always stories of not belonging,
Of being ridiculed and thought of as pathetic and ridiculous.
Who do you think you are,
Are the words you have on repeat.
The blood whooshing past your ears,
That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach,
The light-headedness that comes over you as the shame takes hold.
But who taught you to think about yourself this way,
Who?
I want you to gently but firmly put your hand on your heart,
Keep it there for a while.
Don't you know that everything you need is right there within you?
Precious one,
We can't control what others think about us,
Ever.
People are where they are in life,
And they will have their perceptions and opinions about you based on that.
Some will see you and connect straight away,
Others,
They'll run from you because your light exposes the very things they do not wish to look at in themselves.
Some may be confused and not understand your intention,
And others,
They have no interest in you,
Or in anyone else for that matter.
None of this,
I said none of this,
Has anything to do with your value or your worth.
If you allow each person's opinion to sink in and fill you up,
There will be no more room for anything else.
Your light will grow dim and you will curl up like a hedgehog who has just been touched,
A spike sticking out protecting itself but suffocating in the darkness.
You are human my love,
And you will always have wobbles.
Self doubt will come up,
There's no changing that.
But to embrace this truth and to accept it will set you free.
You will be free to trust your inner knowing,
The only navigation system that will lead you home.
Allow those who need your light to drink it in,
To quench their thirst,
They are why you are here.
You have so much wisdom,
So much love and so much light.
You deserve to bathe in that,
Don't deprive yourself or others of who you are.
Don't you know how much of a blessing you are?
That you offer hope to those who are lost?
How could you not trust yourself when you have got this far in life?
No matter what has been thrown your way,
You are here,
You are alive and you are a testament to those who aren't so sure that they're going to make it.
Beauty and worth has nothing to do with how you look on the outside.
It has nothing to do with people's opinions of you.
It has nothing to do with anything outside of yourself.
The very core of who you are,
Your soul is what makes you beautiful.
And when you radiate that beauty,
You radiate love.
Dreadful one,
I know what you worry about,
I see that you are so fearful that you will trust yourself and something will go wrong and that the fall will be too painful to bear.
So you put your trust in others,
Thinking that they know best,
But not realising that this is what keeps you small and insignificant,
It's what keeps you invisible.
My love,
You may not realise it,
But you are teaching people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.
Ultimately,
If you can't love or trust yourself,
How can you expect anyone else to love and trust you?
The world is a scary place,
Full of disconnection and discord.
It needs authentic people who live from the heart to show it the way.
If you can't live in this world trusting yourself and your own deep knowing,
Then you are selling your soul for acceptance of others,
Which is fickle and changes all the time.
It's your choice.
What will you choose?
Be still beautiful soul.
You expend so much energy on doing rather than just being.
On trying to work things out,
Trying to understand and you are exhausted.
You are a human being and yet you spend so little time just being.
Maybe you don't need to have it all worked out.
Maybe you just need to accept that this is the place you are in right now.
Maybe my words will sink in and maybe they won't,
But that's okay.
I will love you regardless and I am here with you now and always.
