My Journey Pt. 3: Yogis

35:40

35:40

My Journey Pt. 3: Yogis

by Ian

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talks

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Meditation

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Everyone

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I recorded this about 6 months ago and it's crazy to see how my thinking has transformed since then. This is my journey and I hope that by sharing it I can help to inspire you and show you some of my trials and tribulations so you can learn from them too. Stay true to yourself and follow your heart - whatever that may mean to you! Take my words with a grain of salt or take them with whatever you want to take them with Much love!

Meet your Teacher

Chatham, NY, USA

Meet your Teacher

Chatham, NY, USA

Transcript

All right, So the next step was to head over to the yogi's house and learn from him. So I left the Hare Krishna temple and headed to the yogi's place. And yeah, I was kind of up on a huge hill near the outskirts of Kathmandu. And I was staying in this little mud slash clay house with the first floor was complete shambles, But the second floor is pretty nice. And they had a third floor slash attic place where they would cook food on a wood stove or it wasn't a stove, They'd have a wood fire in the attic. And since it was clay it was fine, But there'd be a lot of smoke in the house whenever we'd cook. And so that was kind of the ritual, I guess, Was we would wake up and Bijaya, My yogi friend, Would teach me some physical asanas, Some yoga. We'd do that for like two hours. Maybe I'd meditate before I did yoga or after. And he'd teach me pranayamas, Breathing techniques, And different physical techniques to purify my body. And he and his friend, They look like, I don't know, They're yogi-esque, Very athletically fit and slim and had the yogi vibe. So I was like, All right, I need to get to their level, Which might've been a lot for me because I wasn't fat or anything, But I wasn't slim either. So I was doing a lot of fasting, Which probably wasn't the best way to get to that yogi vibe. And I would just get really, Really lightheaded. So whenever I'd stand up, I'd have to step and hold onto something so I didn't fall over. But yeah, Anyways, We'd wake up, Do some yoga, And then he'd go teach yoga class or something. And then I would just, I don't know, Read or do some chanting or do more meditation and hang out with whoever was there. And we'd cook food, And then he'd come back and and then he'd come back later in the day and we'd either do more yoga or just do some kirtan, Some chanting or meditate together or take a nap. And we would shower with a little hose that was out in the open. And so there's people that could just watch us take showers. So we shower with our pants on. And I'd only shower like once every few days. And then there's a bathroom, But the bathroom is very different, Nepali style bathroom. And that was in a different location too, Like on top of the hill. So Bijay lived on top of the hill. And then we lived in the middle of the hill, Me and a few other people. And then the shower place was at the bottom of the hill. So if you had to go to the bathroom or take a shower, You have to go up or down the hill. And there's like a lot of leeches too, Which they call jukas. So that was interesting. But yeah, It was pretty cool. And I met a bunch of people there. One girl stayed and she was like really advanced yogi type lady. And when she was there, She was in like samadhi, Which is like advanced state of yoga consciousness. So she was like kind of on a whole different, Like literally different plane while she was there for part of the time. So that was like really interesting to see because I was like, Okay, Well, There's something different for sure now. Like it was, It was like I learned a lot of science and stuff like that and learned about all this stuff. But now I was like actually seeing real life yogi people doing like crazy stuff. Like I don't know, It wasn't crazy. I guess it was just, You could tell that they were in a different state of consciousness, Like 100% without a doubt. And she was so nice. And this other lady was there too. And she was so, So nice and helpful like a mother. And there's another dude, The Spanish dude, She was awesome too. He helped me a lot and explained some of the, Like his realizations and taught me yoga too. He was super fit too. But yeah, Everybody's basically just super fit and knew a lot. And then I met another yogi dude who was like teaching me, Telling me about like all these different like states of consciousness that you can get to like with like the astral plane and like how all these like enlightened people kind of live in this different place and how like we evolve based on compassion in a sense. So it's like the more compassion we can embody, The like more, I don't know, Conscious we become and the more, I don't know, The more energy we have and stuff like that. So it's like, Like even with like the reincarnation thing, If you believe in that, Like an animal can become like a human based on its like compassion sort of. So if like an animal has a lot of compassion and love, Like maybe a dog or something, Then it can become like a human in the next life. I don't think that's like all it's based on, But it was just interesting to hear that like very, Like he was like very scientific too. Like it was, It wasn't like, I don't know, These people I see sometimes on YouTube or something like explaining this stuff, But haven't had the experience. It just like sounds like they're just talking kind of about like fantasy stuff, But I met some of like the most intelligent people I've probably met in my life and the most sober people that I've probably met in my life sober and that like very calm, Cool, And collected. And they were telling me this crazy stuff like about past lives and everything and then I was like, Okay, Well, This is definitely real sort of thing. Like you don't have to leave it for sure, But I'm now like 100% sure or 99% sure that like there's truth to all this sort of spiritual stuff, Which is really cool. But anyways, Yeah, He like introduced me to like different Yogi people he's like friends with. And then I was starting to get a little bit restless and I wanted to like go on an adventure and I was like kind of like not feeling good being super like in Cat Man or in Cat Man do anything, But just stay in the same spot every day. And so that was like 20 days that I was there with the Yogi dude and meeting some other Yogi people. And then I, I, Bijay, My Yogi friend was like, All right, I'm going to show you around Nepal, Take you to some spiritual places. So we just decided one day, Okay, He's like, I'm going to take you to a cave. I think it's called a Guffa, Something like that. Guffa? No, That's not right. Anyways, He's taken me to a cave and there's still like, It's like COVID still and everything. So there's like lockdown and we're thinking about taking a motorcycle there, Which is like two or four hour drive, But then we decided to take a night bus instead. So like at 8 p. M. We went to the bus station and like he negotiated some thing because we had like this bus set up, But then it was like not good vibes he was saying. So we figured out we need to get into another bus and we got into the other bus. It was pretty chill and we just like, We just drove to this cave. But first there was like a national park actually, But on the way they, They were like, Something happened with the wheel and like the wheel fell off or something, It didn't fall off, But they had to take it out and like take it apart and put it back together and put it on the car. It was kind of sketchy, But at that point, Man, I was like in a whole different situation mentally. I was like, All right, This is my quest and it's like, In that place, Like I was still out of my comfort zone that I didn't really care in a sense like what happened to me. It was kind of weird, But it was like, All right, Whatever, If this bus crashes or something, I'm going to go back to the bus crashes or whatever happens and that's okay, Sort of. I mean, Probably not, But that's how I felt in the moment. And so when they put the wheel back on it, Kept making noise, They just kept driving. And then eventually we got to the park or the like national forest or whatever at four in the morning and we started walking. It was like a two mile walk. Bijay had this, These drums so that we could do kirtan. And I was carrying like a massive bag with both of our stuff in it. And it was like hot, I was hot and sweaty and I've been like doing some like dry fasting. So I hadn't eaten or drink and actually maybe I had a little bit of food, But it was probably not good because I sweat a lot. And then, Yeah, He was like, Oh, This is a very dangerous jungle. There's lots of tigers here. And I was like, Oh, Lord, Thanks. Thanks for telling me that. But eventually we got to the cave place. It was kind of like a temple cave. So it was like a temple or a cave that they had made into a temple. And it was really small and we slept in that the night. It was near a river, Kaliganga or something. And it was so beautiful. They listened to the sounds of the Ganga or the river. And yeah, We just stayed in that cave for like two or three days. And then I don't know if I, It was because the water I drank or what, But I got like super bloated and anything I ate like made me have like massive diarrhea. Sorry for too much information, But we ended up negotiating to like stay in this other place, Which was, It was better, But it was worse at the same time because it was like, There was less protection from mosquitoes and that the toilet didn't have a roof. So the one night it was like really bad and I had to go to the bathroom like every hour, But there was no roof and it was raining. And so I get wet every time I go to the bathroom and there's mosquitoes. But yeah, No, It was a insightful experience for sure. But apparently the place we were staying at was where a lot of people go, Like when they're like going to die or something, Because it's like a place where you can like get liberated more easily, Like moksha, Which is liberation. So if you go to that place, I get like a lot of people were there too, Like older people. But it was cool. And we also met this like one Kali worshipper. I think it was a Kali, But Bijay was telling me that he'd like meditate like near dead bodies. And he's like, Yo, Do you want to meditate with dead bodies? And I'm like, Nah, I'm chilling. And there's a, We met one lady that he's like told me that she had got like these vibrations or something, Which I don't know what it meant exactly, But we were meditating with her one time. And Bijay like taps my shoulder, And I look over and then all of a sudden she's like doing all these like really intricate mudras, Which are like symbols with her hands that I guess it like happens when you get like some sort of energy or something or like when you're like Kundalini, I don't know. But it was really interesting to see her like do all these very intricate hand movements without knowing like what she was doing kind of. But yeah, It was kind of cool. And then we went to, Where do we go after that? I think we went to Pokhara, Which was another place. I want to say we went somewhere else before that. But anyways, We left there and we went to stay with like Bijay's friend who lived like on the outskirts of Pokhara in this very beautiful place. And she was so nice because like I was still like a bit sick and from all my fasting I was like lightheaded. So whenever I stood up and I was like only eating bread and honey for a bit, I was doing weird stuff for sure. But she was so nice and like a mother kind of took care of us. And yeah, She was awesome. She gave us like really nice food, Prashadam, And like showed us some place. But I was, I don't know, I was really feeling a bit wonky at that point. And then we visited some hills and mountains and beautiful places and then went back to Pokhara and Bijay's like, He's telling me, Ian, Like we're going very fast in this spiritual journey or something. And then he was like telling me maybe I should just stay in Pokhara because it's more of a touristy place. He's like, You stay here for a bit, Like recover, Rest, Relax, Enjoy, Meet some ladies, And then you come visit me. But I was like, Yeah, It sounds like a good plan, But I was like really in the spiritual quest thing still. I needed to meditate more and stuff like that. And I'd been celibate. I hadn't drank or smoked or anything. So it was like, And I wasn't planning on it either. And so it was like this town with all these people that just kind of like, They weren't partying a lot, But it was more of that sort of vibe, But I was like totally in the spiritual thing. So I hung out there a bit, Made some friends. Yeah, I felt like a little bit like I was recovering a bit, Slept more. But yeah, Still different. And it was like weird because I felt kind of by myself, But also connected. And I felt like, I don't know, I felt a lot of different things. I felt like I need to act perfectly in every situation, Which was a lot of pressure I put on myself. Yeah, It was a bit difficult, But this was a kind of crazy thing. I was like, All right, I need to figure out a place where I can just go meditate. And so I decided that I was going to do another vipassana, Which was an interesting decision on my part, But I wanted to do another 10-day thing. But since I needed to wait like six months or something before I could do another one, Like as a student, But I could do a server one. So I decided to serve at a vipassana in Pokhara. And so I signed up for that, Went to the vipassana, But I was still like feeling a little ill. And that vipassana was like a very intense experience because I was tired. I wouldn't, I hadn't slept much at all. You'd wake up at four or actually earlier because you were a server, So that means like you're kind of responsible for everybody else. So I'd wake up earlier and go to bed later and I would meditate like super vigorously and have all these like kind of interesting insights about like the nature of my mind and how, How like fragile it was in a sense, Like in that, In that state. Just like being so tired and sick was a little bit difficult for me. Yeah, Because then I think everybody started getting sick and it could have been COVID, But we just like kind of pretended it wasn't. And so yeah, I would like wake up, Like have so much phlegm and stuff like that. And I had like a bunch of energy somehow, But I was so tired at the same time. So it felt like I needed to run like 10 miles or a hundred miles, But at the same time, I felt like I needed to sleep for 10 days. It was a bit easier that it like made the, The first time I was like, I was like, Easier that it like made the fact that I didn't have to be silent cause I was a server so I could talk to the other servers, But I still like had to be silent around everybody else. And then yeah, That was pretty intense. And after that I had just like, I felt like I had a good understanding of like where certain feelings came from in my body. So I felt like that, Like if I had anxiety or something, I could feel like where in my body the sensations were coming from. But like then also for positive feelings too, Like, Like I could feel positive feelings or like kind of on different parts, Like my arms and my sides and stuff like that. It was just really interesting to have a deeper understanding of like how my mind and body interacts. And it made me like really see like how important it is to be healthy and get good rest and stuff like that for mental stability. But after that, I ended up hanging out with this really nice girl from the US for a bit. And she, Like, She was awesome. She showed me like a cool place that I could stay that was like more in nature in Pokhara. And then I was planning also to go back to hang out with Bijayam or the yogi dude. Oh, But at the Vipassana too, I met a bunch of people. They were like teaching me things about like homeopathy and stuff like that. And then I was also, What happened after that? Yeah, So then, Oh, And then there's the one guy that was, He was teaching me too about like his like experiences with Vipassana and how he's like a teacher. And he had like insight into like his previous incarnation as like a Vipassana student or teacher. And he also could like see his, Where he's going to be born in the future somehow. I don't know. It's crazy. But that was an interesting little thing that I learned too. And then, So I went back to Bijayam. And, Oh, Bijayam also had like crazy insights too into his own. Like he's telling me about all these like insane yogic states that he's had, Which was like really cool to hear about. But then, Then we were going to go visit this yogi dude, Or the, Oh sorry, This yogi lady in the mountains. In this, These, Yeah, These mountains, I forget what they're called, But Bijay couldn't make it on that one. So me and like three other people went into the mountains. And we met this lady who was observing like silence. And she was teaching, She was teaching me how she would like with, With written words, She was showing us how there's all these like sounds that you can hear inside your body. And if you can like focus on the sounds and follow them to like their origin, You can find like where everything begins, Kind of like you can have self-realizations. You're just following certain sounds. But she was saying that she had identified like a hundred and, Or a thousand and seven hundred distinct sounds or something crazy like that. And then after that, This one girl took me to visit a Buddha, Like this Buddhist temple place, Which was really cool. And she, That, But I was like really tired too from my trip. I'd been doing like a lot of crazy stuff by that point. And I was like, I'm ready to go home. And I'd, And before my Vipassana too, I'd booked my ticket back. Cause I extended my visa again before I, When I met my Yogi friend. So I could have like five months in total in Nepal. But anyways, We visited this, This Buddha Buddhist temple. And apparently at this place, This is where like Siddhartha or Gautama Buddha, He like was lived his life before he became like Siddhartha or, Or what was it? Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, Like the main Buddha that we, We, Most people in the West know. But apparently like his, His life before he became fully realized, He, He was like a Buddhist monk or I guess it wasn't Buddhist, Or I don't know what it was, But he was a monk meditating and he had witnessed this really like hungry lion and, And her baby cubs. And out of compassion, He sacrificed his body for that, The lion or something like that, Where, Where he just like was so selfless and so compassionate that he fed this lion or tiger maybe. I don't know. I think it was a tiger. Yeah. He fed this tiger with his body. And that was just crazy. And I meditated for a little bit there and I just was like imagining that. And it just made me feel so much love, Like imagine someone that is so like humble and so selfless that they would just give up their body for an animal that needed to like feed its babies. And then I left that place. Somehow we left that place. And then I left somehow we left that place. It was like closed, But it was open at the same time. I don't know. And then we met, We met the lady that I was with her, One of her gurus who had taught him not her not meditation, Which is a form of listening to sounds and or it's like sound yoga or something where you listen to inner sounds. And then she, Oh, Then he, He was really nice too. And he was like, So understanding of all like the pains that I'd been going from. And he gave me some like suggestions and techniques, But he was also telling me like all this cool stuff about how, Like, One of my big realizations was that we, We look so much outside. I mean, It makes sense, But like, Say, Say for example, You, You desire something like a car, Like, I really want this really nice Tesla or whatever. And you have all these reasons why you want it. But when you, When you get down to like the bottom of it, There are these reasons and they're totally valid. But the real reason is you want to feel a certain way, Whether it be, Oh, I want to feel like I'm helping the environment, Or I want to feel really good. Like I want that dopamine hit, Or I want to feel like a little bit better about myself, Or I just want to feel like a baller, Whatever it might be. It's just a feeling that we're after at the end of the day, Whether or not we're like conscious of it or not. I mean, There are all these ideas and intellectual things about it, But at the end of the day, The reason we want the Tesla is because of the feeling it's going to bring to us. And so my big realization was like, And what I think like a lot of monks and stuff realize is that, Okay, I don't really need these things to get those feelings. So if I can meditate and feel like I have a Tesla, Then it doesn't matter if I have it or not. And that was kind of like, It sounds kind of like dumb, But it was a really profound realization for me that like, If I want to have like a girlfriend or I want to have like a million dollars or whatever it is, Like I can get one and I can like find the perfect person or I can work hard to get like a million dollars. But at the end of the day, Like I'm really after a feeling as crazy as it sounds, I'm really after a feeling. So if I can get the feeling without needing those external things, Then I think that's like, I mean, Logically, It's not all that matters, But like at the end of the day, It's all that matters is how you feel inside. Or what realization you have and like the understanding that you're just consciousness or something. I don't know exactly, But yeah. Anyways, He was just telling me that like that kind of thing where it's like we have this outward search, But in reality, Like in yourself, You have everything you need. Like once you get to this certain stage, You can feel like you don't need anything. And a lot of like Yogi's I meant too, Would rather sit in a cave for their whole life or sit in one spot and just meditate than do anything else because of like the peace and the like excitement and like excitement and serenity that they get from just meditating. It's like way more than they could get from anything they do externally. So I was like, Whoa, That's cool. And it made me understand why people go off to be monks and stuff like that. But yeah, It was cool to meet him and he was very insightful and kind. And then where did I go after that? Then we went back and we also visited the ashram of the Yogi that I met in the jungle, The one that had like taught me about the sounds and self-realization through sounds originally. And then we went back to Bijai and we visited another lady who had like somehow like had, I don't know, There's different ways that you can see people and you could like see through your like third eye. And she was like telling me this stuff about myself through that. And like actually a few people told me things about me and like my energy and weird things like that that I didn't really believe in before. But now like 100% do. And it's crazy. It's really crazy like how something like, I don't know, Just meeting a certain person can change that. Because it's like, Yeah, People can say stuff like I can tell you all these things that happen to me and all these things I experienced. And maybe you don't believe any of it, But maybe you don't believe it. But I don't know, It's just like if you're open to it and you're interested in finding the truth, Then the truth will come to you. And that's what like my experience was. Because I feel like I hadn't really been open to it. I hadn't really been asking to like know like what is real. And then that trip was all about me just completely letting go of any ideas I had already established. And I think because of that I was able to meet all these people with all this knowledge. But yeah, I mean at the end of the day I think too it's like it's all within as cliche as it sounds. You don't need to go meet anybody or do anything to figure out all this stuff. It's all attainable through literally just breathing meditation. You just sit and you can start maybe 10 minutes a day doing focusing on your breath and relaxing as much as you possibly can and just focusing on your breath. And you can have like knowledge of all these things without needing to go anywhere or do anything. I think like the external quest is is important if you don't believe anything or if you have no idea where to start. But the internet has so much information about this stuff and there are so many enlightened saints and sages that have imparted their information that is very readily accessible on the internet. That you can you can just sit in your home in the comfort of your home and and have some great peace and serenity. But yeah anyways I went back to see B. Jai and I was like leaving in two days. I went back to visit the yogi dude who I'd met in the beginning who was teaching me about like compassion and and karma and yoga. And he was like had some really insightful and helpful advice at the end for me too. Because of my like realization with the vipassana was that I like I felt like I had maybe sharpened my mind too much. Where I felt a little bit like I maybe had contracted it. But he was telling me like that you can also like just do like the anapano which is breathing meditation with body awareness. So that was kind of like my my that's my like main thing now sort of that I do is like just breathing focusing on my breathing. I mean I also chant and do all that sort of stuff but focusing on my breathing and kind of remaining aware of my spine while I am focusing on my breathing. And yet I don't know that was that was just cool and we did like guided meditation with like chakra chanting. And yeah then I think that was like maybe my last day or I had one more day after that. And Bijay said farewell to me. And oh he also like I met a few people during the trip too that were like they're kind of starting their own like ashram sort of things. But Bijay's idea was that like there's all these different ashrams or like spiritual places where you can go. Like and there's some that are free too like vipassana it's free it's donation based. But they teach you vipassana technique. And there's osho tapaban I think it was called or something like that. And you learn about like osho's meditation techniques and stuff like that. But what he was proposing was like a spiritual place where anybody could come. You can be atheist you can you can believe whatever as long as you're interested in spiritual development or growing yourself or just doing physical yoga or whatever it may be. But anybody could come for free donation base and just practice their whatever they want. And I mean he would teach too there and stuff like that. So I was that was like one of my missions while I was there too is like helping him find a place and also like donating to the cause too. So he's already started actually working on the ashram now. And he's like invited me back obviously and stuff like that. So I might I might do that at some point. But yeah that's kind of the overall story. And I think I hit it all mostly. I mean there's definitely some more takeaways that I had. And some more knowledge I can impart or insights not my knowledge but knowledge from others or knowledge from observing my crazy mind. But yeah it just I guess like the big the big thing is just like love everybody and don't think don't take things too seriously. And if you're really interested in spiritual stuff actually meditate actually do something spiritual instead of just like reading things is what is what I've experienced. Because I also met a lot of people in Nepal that they would talk about how they're interested in spirituality but they wouldn't have any practice. Or they were talking about how they didn't believe in anything but they didn't actually do anything to like figure out if they were right or not. So if you're sincere and you're really excited about this stuff and you want to figure out if what I'm saying has any truth to it then just start meditating and like be open-minded. And some people will tell you things and you'll you'll meet people and it'll be cool. And it'll be cool. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my my story. Much love. May all beings be happy.