02 What Do You Want? - Desire As Seeking (John 1:35-39)

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02 What Do You Want? - Desire As Seeking (John 1:35-39)

by Mark Gladman

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talks

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Meditation

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Jesus repeatedly asks people questions about what they want, what they are looking for, what they desire, and whether they want to be changed. We often assume spirituality means learning to suppress desire. But I think Jesus was inviting us to something more difficult: to become honest about our desires. Not every desire is from God, not every desire should be acted upon, but neither should every desire be silenced. Our desires can reveal wounds, fears, loves, attachments, our vocations, and sometimes beneath all of that, the movement of God within us. This series is not about getting what you want, but about learning to answer honestly when you are asked "What do you want?" In today's episode, we consider what it is we are actually looking - and I mean *really* looking for, underneath all the other things we pursue that cloud the reality.

Spirituality Self Inquiry Desire Self Honesty Inner Peace Life Purpose Christianity Desire Exploration Spiritual Maturity Spiritual Guidance

Meet your Teacher

Queensland, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Queensland, Australia

Transcript

Hello, Friends. This is Mark Gladman. Also known as Brother Frederick James, Your friendly neighborhood monk in dogs. Welcome back to our series, What Do You Want? In the last episode, We began with a question, A question that Jesus asks in different ways throughout the Gospels. What do you want? And I suggested that this series isn't really about getting what we want. It's about becoming honest enough to discover what we actually want, Because sometimes what we say we want, Isn't really what we're looking for. And that's where we're going to begin today. Not with the question, What do you want? But with a slightly different question that Jesus asks. What are you looking for? It's right at the beginning of John's Gospel. Two disciples of John the Baptist. Hear John speak about Jesus and they begin following Jesus and Jesus turns around and he sees them following him and he asks them, What are you looking for? It's a really interesting question. Of all the questions Jesus could have asked. It could have been Who Are You? Who taught you? What do you believe? None of those. He doesn't even say to them, Come and follow me straight off the cuff. He says. What are you looking for? And I wonder what would happen. If Jesus asked me, Ask you. That question today. Not in some grand religious sense per se, But just in the middle of your ordinary life. You're getting ready for work, You're driving somewhere, You're walking, You're making dinner, You're lying awake on your bed. And you hear the voice of God speak to you, What are you looking for? What would you say? Before we go on. Let's just listen to this story. So we can hear this question in the context. Of the gospel. John chapter 1 verses 35 to 39. The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples. And as he watched Jesus walk by, He exclaimed, Look! Here is the Lamb of God. The two disciples heard him say this and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following. He said to them, What are you looking for? They said to him, Rabbi, Which translated means teacher, Where are you staying? He said to them, Come and see. They came and saw where he was staying, And they remained with him that day. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon. What are you looking for? It's an interesting question because we're all looking for something, Aren't we? Even when we don't realise it. We're looking for security, For love. For recognition, We're looking for belonging, For peace, For success. We're looking for significance. We're looking for someone to tell us that we're enough. We're looking for freedom. We're looking for something that will make our lives feel meaningful. Sometimes even looking for something as simple as a bit of relief from the pressure of life. Here's the thing. We don't always know. What we're looking for. And that matters because we can spend years pursuing something without ever asking what we actually hope it will give us. Think about ambition, For instance. Maybe you want a promotion. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But the question is, Why? What are you really looking for? In wanting that promotion. Is it the extra money? Maybe the extra responsibility? Perhaps it's the opportunity to use your gifts, Or is there something underneath it? Maybe it's because you want to be admired. Maybe you're trying to prove something. Maybe the title is something you feel like you need. Maybe. You want someone to finally say you've done really, Really well. The promotion might be what you're pursuing, But. . . Maybe recognition. Is what you're looking for. And these are the things. Are very, Very different. Or think about relationships. Maybe you want to find someone. Perhaps you want a deeper relationship with the person you're already with. And again, Nothing wrong with that. It's a good thing. But what are you actually looking for? Is it companionship? Is it intimacy? Is it security? Is it to be known, To be chosen? To know that you matter to somebody. Or maybe. . . You're looking for someone who'll finally make you feel the way you've always wanted to feel about yourself. Those answers, Each one of them, Changes the question. Because sometimes the thing we're pursuing, The thing we desire, Isn't the thing we're really looking for. And that's why I think this question. Is one of Jesus' most important questions. What are you looking for? It's an invitation to move beneath the surface, To become curious. About ourselves. Curious what's really going on in me. What is this desire pointing towards? What am I hoping this thing will give me? What do I imagine will happen? If one finally get it. And there's another reason why this matters spiritually, Because we can even do this with God. Yeah, We can say we want God. But what are we looking for from God? Maybe you're looking for certainty? Maybe we're looking for protection. It could be that we're looking for answers. Or that we're looking for relief from suffering. Are we looking for approval? Are we looking for a sense of being loved? Are we looking for an experience of God that will, I guess, Give us some assurance that everything's going to be okay? And again, Nothing wrong with any of those things. But it's important that we become honest about them. Sometimes I think what we call seeking God. Is actually seeking what we hope God will give us. And that's alright as a beginning. The important thing is to be honest though, Honest enough to notice it. The Two Disciples in John's gospel don't seem to have a fully formed answer. And I think that's part of the beauty of the story. Jesus asks them what they're looking for. And I respond by saying, Where are you staying? Which just sounds completely. . . Discongruent from that. They want to know where he is. Jesus says, Come and see. Come. See. Explore. And discover. And notice. They haven't got anything worked out at this point. And you don't have to have anything worked out. You don't have to know exactly. What you're looking for before you begin. These guys obviously didn't. But you do have to be willing. To look, Willing to dig a little bit deeper, Willing to poke the bear, If you will. And I think that's the important thing to hold as we move into this series more deeply because Maybe you don't know what you really want yet. You've spent so much of your life responding to expectations that you haven't had much opportunity to ask, To stop and be still and to say, What do I actually want? What kind of life do I want? What matters to me now? What am I longing for? And maybe the first step. Isn't to answer those questions, The first step is just to stop. To take some time to become quiet enough to notice. Because I think desire sometimes speaks. Very, Very quietly, Sometimes almost in a whisper, Doesn't always shout. I think maybe sometimes it comes as that recurring thought that keeps popping up, Or maybe that sense of dissatisfaction, That sense that something's missing. Maybe sometimes as an attraction towards something new. Or something you keep putting aside. Or there's a particular kind of beauty. That moves you. Maybe it's a person, You admire them and you don't know why. Or maybe it's a place where you feel, I guess, Alive in a way that you don't experience elsewhere. Or that moment that suddenly makes you think this. You know that one? This feels like me. Those moments. They all matter. And I'm not suggesting that each one of them's a little message from God or anything like that. But I think they're worth paying attention to because they're clues. Clues of what's lying deep within us that has found a way to come out so that we can notice it and take stock for a moment. And I think spiritual maturity is learning how to read those clues when they come out in that way. There's a phrase that I've come to really like, And the phrase is, Pay attention to what gives you life. The things that make us feel more alive. In the 21st century. Those things tend to be the stuff that entertains me or distracts me or gives us some sort of rush. But Mano, What opens you? What makes you more yourself? What makes you more generous or present or loving? Or courageous. Because remember, Desire isn't always about getting something, But a signpost that points you. Towards the person that you'll be becoming. And this is where discernment becomes important. You know, The gospel isn't whatever I want must be God's will. It's not that at all. Some desires do need to be questioned or healed or resisted or surrendered. But at the same time, We can't say whatever I want must be bad. That's not the gospel either. I don't think Jesus is frightened by human desire. After all, Jesus is human. He asks people to bring their desires into the light though, To name them and examine them. Discover what's underneath them, And then decide. What to do with them after they've taken the time to do that. Today. Don't try and solve your life. Don't work out your vocation. Don't set up a five-year plan. Today though, Just begin. Noticing. And over the next day or two, Just pay attention to the things that you find yourself wanting, Even especially the small things. Notice what keeps you. Thinking. And not as what you keep thinking about. Notice what you tend to be drawn towards. Even the bad stuff, Or the things we think is bad, Notice what you're envious of, Or what frustrates you, What makes you angry. What makes you feel alive? What makes you think, I wish my life contained more of that? Just notice those things. Because beneath some of those desires. I think you'll probably find there's something much deeper and the deeper thing may be. What Jesus is inviting you to discover. So back to the gospel. Two people following Jesus don't fully understand what they're doing, Don't have the answers. They just know that something about Jesus has caught their attention. And Jesus turns, Looks at them and says, What are you looking for? That's the question to carry today. What are you looking for? And then as you begin to notice the answer. Maybe ask, What am I hoping that will give me? One layer deeper again. Because that's where the real desire begins to emerge. Here's the question. To sit with today. Let it sit and let it follow you through. When you look honestly at what you're currently pursuing in your life. What are you hoping to find? And then beneath that, What do you really want? And may grace, Peace and love be with you and remain with you as you hold that question today and always.