Hello,
I'm Anne-Marie Pearman and today I'm joined by Caroline Powell from A Slice of Happiness.
Caroline is the founder of A Slice of Happiness,
Which helps people facing homelessness and with their mental health issues based in Watford.
So thanks for joining me today,
Caroline.
Thank you.
Lovely,
Thank you for inviting me.
That's okay.
So I know you were a successful businesswoman up until about 2017 where you decided to chuck it all in and put your focus into A Slice of Happiness and where did you come up with the idea for A Slice of Happiness?
Where did the gem of A Slice of Happiness come from?
That's a really good question.
Where did it come from?
I know what happened where I realised that it could be a possibility.
So my former career was a state agency for my sins and that's it.
I had my own challenges behind closed doors and trying a number of different things which worked temporarily but then I kind of defaulted back to my craziness,
Which then every time that happened,
It just reconfirmed to me that,
Yeah,
I was definitely broken.
When you've got a counsellor saying you shouldn't even be here now,
That kind of hits home.
That's like,
She's a professional,
She knows what she's talking about.
So my story is really valid and separate to that,
I started volunteering for street outreach charity in Slough called London and Slough Charity and that's it,
Just started volunteering with them.
We're street homeless going into London and at the same time,
Around the same time,
I came across this conversation in the three principles which was a very different understanding and there were suggestions being put forward that I was mentally healthy and not broken and then I had an insight and I saw that to be true,
Which impacted me to the point that I cried for like three hours one night,
Just with relief because I'd always thought my mum in particular just didn't have any love for me,
I didn't understand why she behaved the way that she did and so yeah,
To have an insight around that and that weight just lift off me,
Yeah I started having conversations with those that were on the streets and I remember I was up near the embankment and there was a gentleman that I was speaking to and I can even see it now and he walked off and then he turned around and he smiled at me and he said,
Keep spreading the good word,
Yeah I can still see him now and at that point I was like yeah,
Do you know what,
Maybe I can do this and have a conversation once a week or whenever and just help,
You know,
Just put a smile on their face,
Help them see that they're not broken and just because they're not fitting in with this idea of who we're meant to be and written off,
That they can see how amazing that they are and weight that side of them up.
So yeah,
That was literally the insight,
What happened and as I said,
It was only meant to be,
I'd just hang out once a week or once a month and have some conversations and it really just snowballed from there and all of a sudden I started getting thoughts coming through like,
Maybe you could do this on a more permanent basis and I didn't really pay too much attention to it,
So I had my estate agency skills which involves door knocking and I was knocking on lots of doors and telling people how amazing because I was doing my own research into it as well,
You know,
There is like global successful models,
There's so much research that's been done globally about it,
I also went into the prison where I was kindly invited by Jacqueline Hollows if I wanted to go in the prison and shadow a programme and that blew me away,
Like the work that Jacqueline done in the background to get this in front of prisoners really kind of touched me because now having gone through the journey I know how tough it is to try and introduce something new in the system and the work that she done in the background is absolutely incredible to enable a group of amazing facilitators to be able to go in there and deliver and I was like okay well maybe if Jacqueline can do it maybe I can and yeah but all the doors I was knocking on a lot of them they just kept getting shut in my face so and then a lovely gentleman called Bob Jones from Watford and Three Rivers Trust reached out and said can we have a meeting I'm curious to know what you're doing down there and yeah it started from there and he took me under his wing and for the last eight years he's been the most incredible mentor he's been gentle he's been kind he's been given he gives different perspectives things that I don't understand or I might be frustrated about or be a little bit resistance about he takes the time with me sits down he gives me examples and he's helped open up a pathway whereby we are able to go through a door that's now open with a really good possibility and a really good invitation and knowledge to find our way to find our place so that we can work alongside other interventions other organisations and just add our little slice really the name a slice of happiness happiness came from the man who smiled when he walked off a slice of is because a slice being that we're just pointing them in effect it's just a slice because they've got the whole cake within them anyway and the A from a business acumen a brings you up the top of alphabetical listings if oh god yeah that intellect had to throw in there somewhere but yeah a brings you up the top of the alphabetical listings as well so I was like well if anyone looks for mental health as a sport I want us to be up there I want people to see what we're doing so but yeah it's been an absolutely incredible journey it really has which I'm very grateful for and I know you have your own personal history with homelessness would you like to talk about that a bit that's really weak that never actually comes up I never actually recognised it was homelessness until I started working with homelessness like to me homelessness was just street homeless and that was there you know I didn't realise that the word homelessness was an umbrella you know for temporary accommodation in hostels sofa surfing living with a friend I'm like wow all these then also all these different people fall under this umbrella of homelessness and then I was like wow so that means I was homeless when I was 16 and I moved out and made myself homeless and I was I was so for surfing I lived in a room I kind of much that's a little bit in my car down at Bournemouth Beach but I just kind of floated but I have to like for me I personally I loved it I really did enjoy it because I'd spent a childhood growing up where a lot of it was just being locked in a room so all of a sudden I'm like freedom so yeah I really enjoyed the experience but yeah it's only it's really weird I've never even even seen it through that lens until I came across this and understood that intellectual interpretation of homelessness you know so yeah I mean I'm the same I think when you say the word homeless you think people on the streets begging you know in a sleeping bag or whatever you just don't think of the bigger picture that people just anybody who hasn't got a home or a permanent residence yeah you know and those as well like we've got a cost-of-living crisis as well at the moment which is really impacting people you know so those that have got a mortgage you know that they got on what 1% yeah and all sudden the rates are shot up above 5% you know organizations may streamline their employees hours I mean this so many different examples that can be given where people are like in effect like who feel fun who are financially unstable at the moment you know they're seeing their company are doing redundancies there's so many different flavors that can be added to that so like as an organization like we've worked with like innate health research and also Coventry University Watford and Three Rivers Trust who have opened up the doors for us to have conversations public health NHS Jobcentre all of a sudden we had a bit of credibility going in and having conversations and it's been fascinating to listen to everyone local services as well it's been fascinating to have conversations and just to see how what lens do they look at it through what do they find helps what doesn't so that together with exit interviews from over 600 beneficiaries over seven eight years you know it's given me a real good open perspective the gaps where supports needed where people's thinking are what you know what they're struggling with yeah and I'm just getting an insight into their lives which I feel very grateful for that I've been able to see inside their world you know whether it's a service provider statutory level beneficiary it's as I find it a real privilege to be able to see inside their world so we've kind of gone through a transition ourselves in the last since October last year because under Watford and Three Rivers Trust we are classed as a project but we've been running for so long and started having a little bit of feedback from funders and other organizations we've really kind of outgrown being just a project we can't really can't cut that one anymore so we talked through different options and what direction we felt that we were going in you know the reason why why do we start this how near are we to this the reasons why we wanted to do it and kind of refocusing so yes since October we've actually been in a massive transition in the background where we're moving away from Watford and Three Rivers Trust to set up as our own independent legal entity which is due to go live at the end of this month so yeah because also like what's happened throughout that time this every single person that a slice of happiness has worked with supported as being part of this amazing journey part of this amazing story some of them have only come in for a chapter some of them have come in for a few chapters and there's ones that have kind of been there in the background you're one of them yeah you're one of them if a silent in the background you volunteer in the background for us you're there when people are coming to us like in a time where they're really struggling in life and once every eight weeks you volunteer your time to ring up people and to show them compassion and meet them where they're at there's never any moaning you're always very like your face solid and reliable in that way and again it's grateful but I mean there must there's so many different people who've played a part in this journey but it was kind of getting to a point where it had to move in one direction and it seemed as though it was kind of moving in two different directions as such and the direction that I chose to go with in the end is the unknown you know I've gone with the unknown but as a result there's an incredible incredible group of people and even more that are gravitating to that and I've been completely honest I'm like look I don't know where this is going hi one of the comments was was like yeah no we want to come and play in your sound pay it but like it was just beautiful it was just like what do we need to do you know how can I help you know want to work as a team and you know it's so nice to go into a meeting and listen to other people's ideas and insights you know so there's that part and also what doing community work there's also you know there's guidelines in place like legal responsibilities which in effect is the law it's there to protect our beneficiaries how we show up professionally you know so there's a lot that mentoring comes from Watford and Three Rivers Trust but yeah there's a there's wonderful people that are kind of gravitating to it so that we can meet our legal responsibilities that we can show up professionally and this incredible seed like the biggest seed I've ever seen that has kind of unfolded in the background very silently over the years that I feel something really beautiful is going to come from it so the kind of bare bones of it is all being finalized but yeah that will be launching at the end of this month so um yeah I'm looking forward to it as like I said I don't know where it's gonna take anybody but it's got a really cool feeling to it and it makes me smile yeah it's well every time I think of it so yeah sounds exciting I'm talking about sounding exciting looking at your bio last night you were invited to Buckingham Palace would you like to talk about that how that came about gosh that was years ago I don't even mention that so but that was like when I was doing street outreach work with it was another organization Slough Outreach who again do incredible work a service even like for years every single week week in week out they go out regardless and I obviously when I started doing this and there was doors being shut in my face and myself and Shin who runs our organization we I said he just reached out one day and I really got a good feeling when I spoke to him and started doing work with him so he was kind of doing the food and not just that he does so much well he's a really strong advocate for street homeless I really really does deliver from his heart on that aspect so yeah the invitation came through and obviously I was part of them so yeah it was went up to see and had a cup of tea in Buckingham Palace like they've got really cool water and beautiful cups and so it's amazing like because we're just in the process of redoing our websites and part of that was going through all the photos since day dark yeah and I forgot how much has actually been done how many beautiful encounters we've had how many incredible people we've met and all the work that's gone on in the background you know I think if someone said to me would you start again and go right from the beginning I can't even answer that question you know because it's been tough at times like really tough there's times where I've cried well I'm just like I literally can't do this anymore it shouldn't be this difficult there's times where you might have different thinking to other people that you're meant to be a team with that's upsetting you know there's upsetting parts to it there's hard bits to it as well but there's one thing that I know that remains to be true for me is that because people say how did you do it so I can you know so they can copy it and I'm like look there's no point copying how I thought it should work intellectually didn't work that way didn't work that way then something would show up like Bob Jones from W3RT he's that only person whose door I didn't knock on and he just reaches out you wanna have a chat oh really you know and one thing I've learned just from feedback over the last few years if something is hard that's not the direction I'm going to be going in you know intellectually it might be but that's safe you want to stay there in that that's comfortable it's what you know you know and then a different option comes in that says go that direction I don't even know what's in that direction but I trust that and that's what's happened in the last few months is that I'm literally following an unknown with loads of other people that are a little bit unknown yeah and hey we're just gonna see where it where it goes so yeah earlier we were talking about Jacqueline Hollows we brought up Jacqueline Hollows and I've done a bit of work with her in the past and I remember her saying what you just alluded to about if something feels too difficult it's not to be don't follow that path and I've I think I've used that in my own life and as much as if someone's not getting back to me and having to keep chasing people then just let it go stop sort of going there because it's not meant to be and don't take it personally either because it's very easy to say things personally isn't it I think this you know they hate you or well me so talking about myself here I go can get very much in my head and assume if I'm not hearing somebody it's because they hate me I've done something wrong blah-de-blah-de-blah but yeah it's just not to be yeah I could see through that lens as well you know when we like all it can take is just one experience from when we're younger yeah yeah you know that makes us feel insecure yeah or unlovable we're not worthy yeah and that's it we carry it's almost like that's the that's one like the glasses that we wear and everything that happens in life we see through that lens someone hasn't got back to me straight way it's almost like oh great another another one that I can find an excuse for to kind of Fallon validate why I'm not worthy am I lovable yeah and that's so common that's so common that's very normal because we tend to have an experience I even if it's a negative one and then we attach the meaning to it and then we carry that through life you know we don't have an amazing holiday lock that experience in and be like well every holiday is going to be amazing every holiday through the happy lens it tends to I think it's really sad when we kind of look at a society that has been that does seem to innocently always look at the flaws of us you know you can't make your own decisions of course you're not clever yeah you know looking trying to find flaws that you know in effect to just thoughts and then we start believing those thoughts about ourselves and we've attached all these labels yeah but then intellectually we're like there's some another voice crying out but but you're perfect you're perfect I'm with trying to make sense of that but the volume on this one seems so much louder you know and that's the same within the mental health arena you know there's complete innocence there to from the lens that everyone is only just trying to do the best that they can you know and it just happens to be up until recently the way you worked with mental health was to analyze and look in the direction of mental illness and no one knew better until no one actually said did you know are you mentally healthy like that conversation that someone said that to me at the beginning it was like well no no one said that to me when you're talking and this is going to sound like you're going off on a tangent but I think there is a point to it I was listening to I think it was Lily Allen on a podcast talking about how she's moved to America because culturally she says it's a more positive way of thinking about things so I'm just wondering is part of the problem the British way of thinking about things that we tend to be a bit more negative and if somebody wants to achieve something we're trying to put them down more or is that just a red herring who knows I know right there's two parts to that I laughed about going to another country because my dad used to work for British Airways and every time the tarmac left the runway I said I was happy hmm plane went through the skies and that's it it was almost like I'd left everything and I did I got I carried that through life whatever happened I needed to make sure I went on holiday X amount of times okay if not I'd be stuck in darkness all the time until I came across this conversation the only difference that happened it was nothing to do with the tires leaving one way it was just simply that I wasn't interested in the thinking about poor me as soon as I'm not interested in the thinking about how rubbish my life is you know where I should be how bad I am how bad that person is as soon as I let go of that it created space to allow a fresh thought to come in you know and with regards to cultures like you know I see that we're all human I see that we're innocently misusing thought so like my son was traveling and we met up in Bali and me and him just island hopped for like three weeks lived out of a case had some amazing conversations like really insightful as well you know they're small islands how did they what was it like what did it look like through Kovac and like I'm fascinated by different cultures and the conversations seem to kind of sink as such and they used to say like what do you do I said like work with people in the UK and help them understand how thought and mind works and I remember this one person in particular site cracking up laughing oh so you work with the Western sickness then you believe all of your thoughts don't you and I was just crying with laughter you know and that's the thing when I came across the conversation of the three principles and because my dad had worked for the airline I'd been to so many different parts of the world so many different light and I'd be honest he was a gambler as well so they were always kind of cheap but you know kind of down and out little places and little nooks and crannies and hidden islands all of them different cultures you know so when someone said to me that I can see my past see life see people see everything not just through one perspective but perspective but infinite different perspectives not because someone's told me it that I can actually see myself that came to mind and I got curious because I didn't believe that the bubble that I lived in was how it worked throughout the world and I remember taking my son to Thailand like when he was younger we went to Phuket oh my gosh she was having a field day he was up on the tables he's dancing with the lady boys playing connect for and you know it was brilliant I mean he was better at spotting them than I was and you know we went to kind of like the villages out in the back you know we got drawing pads and crayons and we give them to the kids and super noodles so they can live inside you know but they were all happy it was nothing to do with their surroundings they were just happy and I remember coming back and I used to live in quite an affluent area and I remember a group of us mums were out for one evening and I was explaining what happened oh my god it's brilliant he was on the tables dancing with the lady boys like just yeah mixing in culture right and I remember two of them saying to me how disgusted they were of me what a terrible mum I was I can't believe that you let your son see that I said but that's the world there's loads of different flavors out there different cultures how old was he not that I'm judging you but I just trying to get into their mindset he must have been maybe 10 or 11 but I'd be honest I've been taken to many different you know even then we have an idea maybe innocently yeah is there a certain age before you can let your child experience a different culture like we fundamentally there's eight billion people on this planet and we're all human yeah you know if we look at look into what actually is a culture it's just a belief fundamentally yeah we're operating from the same design the same source beyond all of that yeah you know and so yeah I recognize that there were so many different beliefs and different cultures out in the world I saw different levels from poverty different financial gradings you know and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to do as well because the three principles is still so very new within the UK myself I paid a lot of money to access it you know I pay it again in a heartbeat but well maybe not now I can't afford to do it now but you know if I was back there I would I would I would do it again in a heartbeat but to me someone's paid great shouldn't determine the quality of care that they get you know and that's the thing even those that are working at the moment they're struggling yeah you know there's people that are working going to food banks can't pay their bill they're in debt with their bills really really struggling so it's kind of opened it up which is going to be part of this new chapter this new book it's the sequel of a slice of happiness yeah to see how it unfolds but it's been absolutely fascinating talking about books I actually was thinking while you're talking have you thought about writing a book of your life and your experiences that's so funny so Bob Jones from Watford and Three Rivers Trust says because obviously he knows my he's worked he's mentored me now for eight years he's one of the people that I'm 100% completely open book with and that so he knows everything and also as well when he was first having conversations with me I think he's never said but I think he was kind of like checking me out due diligence and you know like who is she and what's she doing and and he said to me he said you should write a book so I'm gonna say never stroke never but and I thought about it like sometimes it comes to mind and I thought it'd be nice to share it but what I would like to do I think and even then it's still percolating right what I would like to do at one point is after sequel to of a slice of happiness has been got or there might be a sequel three who knows at some point in the future I would love to share the experience of community work and the different challenges that came into play the different journeys yeah just the whole journey I'd love to be able to share that and see what other people have recognized because I mean it is community work I thought you can just go straight in and yeah be easy everyone's gonna open their doors it's all nice and fluffy it's really I was a little bit so I went in there with my heart wide open and then it just literally almost like I was in the middle of a paintball arena I was getting shot from every angle and I wasn't expected it I didn't have any protective armor so it was a real eye-opener and but again I you know I'm blessed and grateful to be able to see what goes on behind the scenes to help understand about everything you know it's still one big journey so yeah there might be something that might be written in the future and even then it doesn't it's not something that I would do to write money like for money it's something that I would do to give people an insight into the journey of doing community work and the different aspects from sitting on the fence not angry thinking not judgmental thinking you know but to kind of someone could read and just experience all the flavors and get an idea and yeah but so I don't know that's kind of there it's more like a reference book I'd want to do it for free I think you can do it for free on Kindle because I get free books on Kindle but that's what comes into me at the moment that feels right so I'm just gonna sit with that and see how that unfolds when you're talking as well I was thinking about we had a conversation a while back and I was I said to you oh I don't know how you how do you talk to homeless people because I feel really struggle I really struggle I used to I've changed since having this conversation with you I do make an effort now to talk to them but I just I think it was just embarrassment or awkwardness but then I go back to a younger version myself when I was about 10 11 years old I used to walk I've brought up Catholic and used to walk to church by myself and it's about a mile down the road my mother wasn't very well at the time and there was this local he said it's not politically correct now but in those days in the 80s you'd call them a tramp but it's obviously homeless person called and this is my dad's nickname for him I've since found out called it the spit because he used to spit after he spoke to people apparently he never did about to me and I used to have great conversations with him and you say oh you Catholic oh yeah so he says all the nuns feed me you know and I didn't think anything of it but now as an adult I've got all this sort of thinking on it or I did have all this thinking on it and how I was judging them and not wanting to be bothered with them and you know I mean I don't think like that anymore but how why do you think that changes from being at like 10 11 year old I think it was at the time and as a mature person you sort of you get sort of bitter and twisted and just I don't know what it is really I think we innocently follow a lot of other people's thinking yeah way yeah yeah and that because it was the same with my son yeah I'm why are you even doing that I can't even be bothered to get a job I'm seriously and then there was one Christmas where we organized sleep sleeping like a kind of Christmas hostel yeah for them for the ones that had maybe addictions you know that weren't abstinent that might not have been allowed into normal hostels and and he came down he had a conversation with him he just his face was lit up at the end he said mom they're incredible mmm stories they've got the journeys and you don't know if they're right or wrong but hey it's nice to kind of jump into their world isn't it and I think what happened is that at that time he saw them as just human beings like him you know because we do we attach meanings to things don't we yeah for example like if you hadn't like there was a lady called Vera Smith that you were due to me and I fed you a whole load of thinking and you were used to following other people's thinking you could innocently meet Vera Smith with all that thinking and an almost like maybe being like I don't even like you might even cancel the meeting you know because we do that don't we we follow other people's thinking yeah rather that takes us in a different direction from just being able to experience another person or another situation just from a very neutral space you know I mean we all have judgmental thinking like it's funny so many people go I don't have judgmental thinking yes you do right we all have judgmental thinking but the difference is do you know what it's made of are you taking that seriously or not you know because judgmental thinking it's just thought it's just energy it's a fabulous creation that helps us experience life so that it looks and feels so real yeah that's all it is that's all it is you know but that's it you know my son is um on one of the journeys with my son I was one of these mums oh you can take a picture with a snake it's a massive snake was wrapped around him and I remember Owen we done one with an orangutan as well and I remember walking away and him saying to me mum they look so real and I said they were and something crossed over his face but in the years to follow he's like mum I don't like snakes I'm scared because obviously he's had that experience whatever thinking went through his head at that moment he carried that that little box with him right so every time he saw a snake experience whatever that was through thought and and I remember him saying something about he said it again when he was traveling and I said if you didn't if they were just thoughts that came into your head that I don't like snakes and you didn't have the feeling would you be as scared because I'm curious as well I want to kind of just see and he was like actually no I don't think I would because then they're just words aren't they you know so I do get curious and I'm like you know I wonder is it the feelings you know because I look back there were certain feelings that I got that I thought I shouldn't be having I should not be having depressed thoughts I should not be having suicidal thoughts I should not be having but like not so much the thoughts but the feelings attached to it because I can have loads of negative thoughts flow through my head but then when if I reflect I'm like I didn't get that kind of feeling with that so yeah is it the feeling you know because if we're saying that we feel what we think 100% of the time how incredible would it be if we could see that all feelings are made of the same thing it's the same design like clouds but none of us look up in the sky and go well you see that those quite I like those clouds those ones oh my god they're terrible you don't wanna seriously they're really bad those clouds it's like me saying I like coming in here and going to know what I don't like the gravity in my kitchen I'm not happy it's like it's for us isn't it so yeah it's just like do you know what I had a conversation I was in a meeting last night and do I just said I said you know what I've literally just seen a teeny tiny little bit of this and just that teeny tiny little bit has helped me in so many areas of my life it's helped me be open to listen and feel what's the right path is to go in certain areas with a slice of happiness but honestly there's so much that it's helped me with and I've just seen a teeny tiny little bit of it because it really is infinite the word infinite's got a whole new meaning to me yeah you know infinite used to mean one to the back of the garden and back whereas now infinite is just never-ending it's fast and and it's a journey there's no rush to get anywhere and if we have more understanding as to how mine thought consciousness even just those parts you know that's without including like creativity and wisdom and resilience and well if we understood how that incredible formless force works fully Wow well what a world we'd live in right what a world we'd live in be incredible very beautiful so yeah I know that I don't know whether you know the stats but isn't there a stat somewhere that we're all only so much away from being homeless is that a figure of so many thousands of pounds or something away from being homeless I just heard that's a while back it's interesting isn't it I don't know where that came from but they say you're only like is it one paycheck or three paychecks but then what if they've got three jobs and that one paycheck isn't actually what would make them so I don't know I don't know where that statistic came from or how it was created because again you know with like the research we have on the that's carried out with the work we do has got human ethics approval yeah you know but research comes in many different flavors it can be doctor to suit some people's yeah I don't know that for a fact but I'm curious yeah you know I just know the lengths that innate health research and commentary university went through and the guidelines that we have to make sure it's not contaminated you know even asking questions and and how which has been Christ that that just that part alone has been a real journey like I didn't have a clue I didn't know what a scale was or quantitative or qualitative data I didn't know anything God yeah I'm sitting here and I'm like wow yeah I've learned and seen so much so there's a figure this morning I don't know the auction use this morning about by 2040 the amount of elderly people who are going to be on the poverty line is going to be increasing so much compared to what it is now and again it's future thinking yeah how do we know exactly we didn't know what we were going to say today we don't even know what's happening in the next two minutes right and talking about judgmental thinking this is makes me feel really bad admitting to it anyway this news story the woman she has now is the color of mine and she's talking about it's beautiful by the way I really love them done after going to a wedding last year anyway just treat myself once a month but the yes this lady I had such mental thinking because she was talking about being poverty-stricken I don't have enough money at the end of the week and I thought well you've got enough money to happy but now it's done and I thought that's all for me thinking that really isn't it no it's just thought isn't it and that's the thing we tend to have a thought then we attach me into it yeah and that's what we do and then it you know we just kind of stay in the experience of that meaning and thought yeah you know when we can see it is literally just energy it's just flowing through us yeah and we can pick and choose which one we want to play with it's just a game it's not even real any of it you know it's not even real it's just something that I've got incredible access to I can play with I mean honestly like we forget like playing with thought so a thought came into my head at Christmas like because where I'm staying at the moment there's loads of like little kind of really quaint villages and they think they're all really into like looking after their houses and the Christmas decorations also beautifully looked after I mean it honestly felt like driving through winter wonderland and this thought about elves so I decided to play with that thought for like a day like and believe that elves were real oh my god I literally just went into child mode yeah I literally just went into child mode and I'm literally I'm in the car giggling away to myself and walking around like but I can play with it I can play with it you know don't get me wrong yet do I forget sometimes that I can play with it yes do I fall into the into the illusory part where I forget that it's illusory and all of a sudden it's real yes I do you know I'm not the difference is I think now is that at some point I notice and then I can jump out of it you know but yeah I still have and this is the thing it's like I love the fact that I can have angry thinking sad thinking jealous thinking judgmental thinking I can have the whole damn thing yeah right I can have the whole damn thing good news because you know what I'm human yeah yeah okay and thank God I know now that that's normal yeah I didn't know that no one told me that and you know one word that's coming up in the session especially like the last three sessions of the programs we've running where so many people like their massive insight and freedom for them has been that they never realized that they had choice because every time that first thought comes in we believe that and we run with that they said I didn't know that I didn't have to pay attention to it or breathe life into it and I could let it go and it will move and then a different one comes in and that I can actually pick and choose I never knew I had that choice yeah how cool is that right I just love it I love it and I love it when people have insights in the programs on an insight that I might have had that I can see it deeper or maybe I've forgotten and I can just sit there and smile or I see it maybe in a different area of my life it's just like the world's it's like if the world's most beautiful dance yeah you know like if you can imagine every single dance in the world and how all of those different dances just work beautifully together because ultimately it's just dance isn't it yeah have you seen the film elf by the way that's one of my favorite films yeah and I think it is I think it is such a good film as well because it's basically well both barrel six foot four whatever he is playing an elf and you know he's such so childlike and yeah just yeah I think it taps into as an adult are in a child I suppose and that's why we enjoy it so much you know we just maybe remembering how things used to be when we were children and maybe we just need to recapture it a bit more yeah it's so interesting that you say that because I don't I feel that I lost out on the inner child because of the circumstances that I was in and I remember like in a child in a child to me is the state that we were in when we were born yeah before we was even interested in that intellectual thought personal thought is there's no fear we're literally just feeling our thinking moment to moment yeah there's no fear there's no color there's no religion there's no money it's just beautiful oneness I remember my son at the nursery for kids different nationalities and backgrounds and do you know that every morning they were so excited to see yeah she hug each other they hug each other so tight like that but and that is always there and that I see is our natural state like we call it maybe in a child but I see that that's our natural state and I remember the first time where I was I was in that space I felt relaxed I felt calm and I was walking down the lane to go into with the woods and there was this really big puddle and I remember that little voice jump no I can't do that go on I dare you jump and I did so I find I jumped in the both feet in the middle it's really big that happened to be quite deep puddle and I just laughed you know at some point who made the rules up what when who made this rule up that a certain age you have to stop these certain behaviors I'm not breaking the law no you know I'm just experiencing a bit of crazy thinking this time when I want you to run with it it felt free yeah when I done that you know and yeah in fact that's weirdly enough that came up in a session and there was one woman she's like do you know I'm turning this this old she goes and I'm gonna be having the biggest tattoo done on me you know and it was just freedom of thinking isn't it like I thought for some reason I believed this thought or someone I believe someone else is thinking that you can't eat breakfast for dinner you can't eat dinner for lunch and I honestly when I saw that that that was just thought and completely made up I remember doing that I think I was sitting there cracking up laughing at myself I felt really naughty but there's so much freedom there's so much freedom in it you know and yeah and you can just play with that it's brilliant I've now got this I've never really watched Vicar of Dibley but there's a famous scene of Dawn French jumps into this puddle and I think it ends up being but I love that you know and I do recognize that now as well in different programs and different films where I can kind of see the freedom of the thinking yeah the creativity yeah that you know creativity that kind of free freedom that can flow through us yeah when we just stop believing the crappy thinking yeah you know I mean seriously I look back now I was just so bored of listening to it and then I thought other people were getting bored so I'd add a little bit oh did I forget to tell you oh my gosh it's crazy but yeah did you find freedom also leaving your I say nine-to-five job did you find that was quite freeing as well leaving that to focus on a slice happiness it was the unknown so when I I'd already decided at Chris before Christmas that I was definitely pulled you know I'm going into a very fixed tight environment where people have money to buy housing yeah all right and I'm going into a different environment where it's just very free and there's no money involved and the gap just started getting bigger and bigger and bigger and I was deepening my own understanding I was having more insights and yeah so I kind of knew that at some point that was something I wanted to do and I did I mentioned it to my business partner before Christmas and I said just to let you know I don't see my future here is here anymore whereas before yeah I'm gonna be this old lady trying to sell the houses right and she got caught up in some anxious thinking and I'm like in the and I was like look just forget I said anything I was just sharing my thinking that this isn't gonna be in my future I don't have any like now element to it but then we went into Covid we went into Covid and I remember it was April the 9th and it was like it was very quiet and there was this loud tannoy because obviously at the same time there were discussions going on what are we going to do a state agency was one of the sectors they shut down shut the doors and by that time I'd already started experiencing like fresh thought and creativity we can do that but she was very fixed and bless her she was caught up in a lot of fearful thinking you know but yeah April the 9th it was like a massive tannoy now's your time to leave and I was like whoa okay and that's it just sent an email said I'm leaving hmm that's it she's like you're setting up another estate I know you know because again on like on paper that was a bit crazy you've got a very well established business you're a single mum and you as far as I know you haven't got any guaranteed income coming in so what are you gonna do but I just kind of trusted that it would work out yeah if worse what comes to worse I can go to a food bank or I can go and stack shelves in a supermarket I don't have any ego wrapped around that you know it just is I do what it takes yeah and that's where the journey started and again it was the unknown but I listened and I think even the crazy part is that like I listened to that wisdom I listened to that fresh thought there's a there's obviously been times where it's come through I've ignored it gone with my internet that's like no you want to do it this way you know of course there's times where I've gone with that it goes Pete Tong and then I'm like actually with hindsight I wish I should have listened to that but I think growing up in the environment that I was in I did I think I've relied more heavily on that wisdom than I actually give credit to it you know because I would listen to that in a voice quite a lot because I didn't know I wasn't as a you know I wasn't taught anything I wasn't explained how this world of form works even changes in a woman and relationships I certainly wasn't experiencing love I didn't have hugs I didn't have any of that so I didn't I literally used to kind of look at the rest of the world and think oh I've got a nice feeling there how what are they doing yeah and follow that so yeah I guess I've spent a lot of life in the unknown and crazily enough it's something's held me up to where I am today sitting having a beautiful conversation with you so yeah I've just been given the time five minutes left so have you got anything else you'd like don't you think like how time is man-made yeah isn't it like I haven't got access to a clock literally this last 55 minutes is almost like a split second that's how it feels to me yeah how weird is that I know when you're just in the moment and just present how time doesn't exist yeah just a moment in time it's an artificial construct isn't it see what I mean everyone seriously get into the conversation of the street there's so much like oh yeah I know that honestly brilliant yeah it's almost like someone's giving you the secret handbook to life yeah you know like this you know like that coat you can put on and make yourself invisible it's like that oh that's how they do that oh well that's honestly there's so many who's and ours in this conversation yeah about yourself life other people just mundane things it's just the coolest conversation around it really is and of course it educates you about your mental health yeah so you you're able to access your healthy state or at least know that your healthy state your mental health is always there 100% of the time that's so cool because that just frees up so much time yeah to go and have fun with this right so yeah it's the coolest conversation around I love it yeah not that you can tell obviously feelings are only ever temporary as well so no matter how bad you're feeling it's going to pass yeah yeah it always passes how cool is that that's like if it's cloudy outside I'm not going to start having a breakdown and a tantrum on the floor because it's only temporary it means it's almost like our feelings and thoughts are mirroring like the weather system it passes yeah yeah and the same does with that yeah you know it's amazing we as human beings I'll tell you what our design is flawless 100% flawless and I'm so happy to know as well everything that I thought wasn't okay I know now he's okay Norman I'm like I'm relieved so yeah but so yeah I know we're coming to them but I do want to say thank you today thank you for driving up the whichever motorway it was what was it the m40 and 40 yeah I just felt yeah I felt happy driving up to burn I don't think I've been to Birmingham I think this is my first I'm a virgin Birmingham girl not anymore though and I really loved it as soon as I came out of this car park this woman just started chatting to me and I'm like wow they're so friendly what is the strange thing that's happening yes another human being is talking to me but yeah no thank you so much it's been lovely it really has and it's a nice opportunity to kind of talk about things out loud as well it's been a while since I've just kind of reflected and reminisced and and remembered some be really beautiful parts of the journey so thank you for helping me to to go back and revisit them you know I've got a nice ready brick low now so thank you okay are you still doing um one-on-one coaching as well or are you just focused purely on slice of happiness I do a slice of happiness yes I set up a private platform did I do anything with that no I think I only saw one client because I was too busy doing the volunteer work but with the transition that's taking place with the transition that's taking place obviously a lot of the work that I'm still doing is volunteering and I think that will be up until maybe March next year where I might be able to get like an average salary but yeah you know so yeah I do you know it's not to say that I don't have private clients but the thing is yes I will see private clients but only if there's space around the community work yeah because the community work that journey there's words that can't describe it there's something really incredible happening there make a big difference so if there's space then yeah I'll see the human at the end of the day you know so I'm just putting it out there yeah but as long as everyone realizes we don't give obviously the charity work we do and kind of obviously that's one point and that it was always meant to be I do private work and just do like a little bit on the side for charity yeah literally charity is my life yeah how I do life now yeah it's a way of living okay and the other bits fit around it so yeah right I'll put any links that you want on the description because this is going to go on to YouTube and so they'll be to do with a slice of happiness and if you want your private website or Instagram or whatever up there as well I don't know but yeah am I able to give that to you at the end of this month yes you are it goes like yes yeah I'll give you I'll give you the heads up when it's going to go live so fantastic yeah because that wow how cool is that see universal dots connecting yeah right yeah how much that cuz it might slightly be around the same time yeah oh my gosh there's so many things that are happening that are just feeding back to me count on you on the right keep going keep going it's all in the bigger plan yeah I wish I wish someone would tell me what the plan is I'm following the little I'm following the little daffodils and the little jumping squirrels that's all I'm doing snow white following there's like a whole bunch of like little characters that are just coming along for the ride as well it's like Forrest Gump yeah you know Forrest Gump start walking and then all of a sudden yeah there's all these other wonderful people that are all looking in the same direction that's what it feels like yeah no one knows where Forrest Gump is going I don't know where I'm going but yeah well thank you for that Caroline it'll be speaking to you and see you soon bye I'll see you in about two minutes once we finish this.
Brilliant.
Thank you.
