Welcome everyone to the Rise With Rosa podcast.
Today I'm going to talk about discovering our gifts and I'm also going to share my own personal story on how I discovered my own gift and how I finally overcame my fear of my own gift.
If you stick around for future episodes you will hear more real life stories from real people and how I have changed the lives of many by helping them to see,
Accept and harness their own gift that has showered them and the people in their lives with the blessings of their gift.
And I actually have my little cousin Nikki beside me,
She's 26 years old and this was a last minute decision so I was on my way to the Humble and Fred radio station to do this podcast recording and my cousin called me and asked me,
Can I come by,
I need a hug?
And so she came by and I told her,
Why don't you come with me because I think that this topic could help her and she can maybe engage in the conversation and ask questions and that could be very relatable for many people.
So I have Nikki on the show.
Nikki,
Welcome.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you for being here.
And so before we engage Nikki here,
Nikki obviously you can feel free to come in anytime you want but I just want to make a few points first of all.
So first,
We all have gifts and we are all meant to know what they are so that we can shower each other with the blessings of our gifts.
And my gift or one of them is to help people to see what their gifts are.
My gift allows me to see someone at the core of who they are and to introduce them to that part of them and then to guide and facilitate their engagement with that part of them.
And because my gift challenges people to connect to who they really are and I didn't really know this,
It got me into a lot of trouble.
And I'll explain more about this but I'll explain more about how it got me into trouble because that's the thing is that our gifts actually can get us in a lot of trouble if we really don't know what our gifts are,
We haven't truly mastered them.
So we actually have no choice but to really understand what our gifts are and to master them and to step into our gifts.
But what I want to say first is our gifts are not learned skills,
They are innate within us.
So they are part of just who we are at the core.
There are parts of us that have been expressed the most when we were young and pure and untainted.
And so if you think about when you were a little child or you can ask your parents what you were like.
But when we were the version of ourselves that was so pure and untainted,
We express naturally who we were without even knowing we were doing it.
And that's part of what our gifts are and it's important for us to understand that.
So as you can see a great way to reconnect to connect to our gift is to connect to your innocence,
Connect to your inner child again.
Our gifts are there whether we know that they are or aren't.
But I will share with you three different worlds based on a person who knows their gift and accepts it,
One who knows their gift and doesn't accept it unconsciously and one who doesn't even know their gift.
I will actually start with the third one first and I wrote this down and made some notes here.
So in the world of someone who does not know what their gift is,
This is what their world would be like.
They probably never even thought of themselves as having a gift.
So it's probably not even a thought in their mind.
They laugh at the thought of them having a gift because they don't believe they have one.
And they are probably always annoyed of people who don't know common sense and I say common sense in quotations or always self-sabotaging and self-destructing from feelings of worthiness or lack thereof.
So that's one who doesn't recognize or acknowledge or want to acknowledge that they even have a gift.
They probably live in a world that looks more like that.
And then there are those people who know their gift but they don't really accept it and I just actually most recently stepped out of this phase.
I've never not known what my gift was.
I always knew it.
I always could identify what my gift was but there is something about a way of being that really shows and reflects when you really know and that's when you fully,
Both feet,
Your whole self,
Every part of you steps into that gift and it doesn't waver.
So while I always knew what my gift was and I always offered my gift and somewhat stepped into it,
I just most recently stepped into the phase of where I knew and I fully accepted it.
But before I stepped into that phase,
There was the phase where I knew but I didn't fully accept it unconsciously.
And what this looks like is you know you kind of have a gift but you're still impatient with others and can't understand why others can't understand things that you find to be so simple.
And so it expresses itself in impatience in others.
You could be,
And this is from personal experience,
But you can be intimidating or too aggressive to those who are receiving the gift because they're not there yet.
And when offering a gift that we haven't fully accepted yet,
The ego is attached to the delivery with an expectation for the other person to receive it or to understand it.
And when they don't,
We don't understand why can't they get it.
Well that's the whole thing.
If it wasn't your gift,
Then everyone would get it.
So there's a little sign there that I'm actually going to go into more detail at the end.
And also when you know your gift but you don't really fully accept it,
You find your way of being what ends up happening,
You become highly misunderstood from others but then from yourself and therefore judged which then turns into pain and therefore unconsciously you choose not to fully accept your gift and you kind of like play this battle of,
You know,
You kind of deny that part of you.
And therefore you become judgmental of yourself and kind of like a denial.
And more so just not to stand out.
And finally there's that last phase in the reality of what the world would look like when we actually finally acknowledge our gift and accept it.
It's a feeling of ignorance.
We are surrendered.
We understand ourselves to be just a channel delivering the gift that's coming through us which comes off as less aggressive because the absence of impatience from one needing to understand or not.
It has nothing to do with me whether someone wants to receive it or not.
I'm just a channel just to offer it and just to share.
And however it needs to resonate for anybody in any moment is how it needs to resonate.
And from that true acceptance of that,
It allows me to detach from the impatience and from the misunderstanding and the judgment of why can't they get it because it wasn't about me anymore.
And therefore it allowed me to express myself more consistently and it became more of an awakened part of who I was and therefore I was just stepping more into it.
So those are the different phases.
So as you're listening to this podcast,
Just allow yourself to be curious and wonder where do you stand?
Do you feel like it's just a joke to even think about you having a gift?
Are you at that level where you really don't think that you have a purpose in this life and you have nothing to offer?
Or if you really sat down and thought about it on a piece of paper,
You can maybe entertain and have an idea of what your gift is.
You just haven't fully accepted it in a way where you've entertained it or tried to engage with it enough to really master it and fully step into it.
So my gift which I didn't know was my gift at the time got me into a lot of trouble and what was apparent and obvious to me that I thought should have been to everyone else was in fact my intuitive ability to connect to the truth.
I spoke truth with no filter but I didn't know I was doing it to some extent.
It's like a child,
An innocent child just saying something and you're like,
I can't believe they said that but it's just truthful.
But obviously when we act that way but what people see before them as an adult,
All of a sudden it's not okay,
It's not as cute.
And then when I was told I was doing it and understood but I didn't quite understand at a deeper level.
I didn't understand what was actually causing someone to be triggered.
And that's what happens to us all the time,
Like all things in life.
Learning about our gifts and what it is and how to harness and master it in the way that it was intended to be requires a process of awakening.
There needed to be something to be awakened in me to really understand.
Understand so much so that it triggered a response in me to let go of whatever was in the way of holding me back from accepting it and whatever was coming out of me that wasn't allowing it to be properly received because I couldn't understand.
And so just like in life,
For me it was a loss,
A loss of someone that meant a lot to me in my life.
And while awakening usually comes after a loss either through a death or a divorce or a break up or a career,
When we have a loss we awaken.
And so that's the bittersweet of awakening.
That's what they call a rude awakening because it throws us off and it brings out this ugliness in us and then things shed and become clear and all of a sudden we get it.
Something clicks,
We surrender to things that we didn't even know we were fighting and we step more into who we are.
We connect more to our gifts.
And for me the more pain and loss I've gone through and experienced in my life,
The more I've connected to who I am on a greater scale.
So that leads me to only be grateful for everything in my past,
Especially the losses because they showed me something and they showed me something about who I was and that was actually the greatest gift of all.
So it's very important that we need to know we all have a gift.
Number one.
We need to connect to that gift.
We need to not be afraid of our gift and we need to know that if we do not accept our gift we are hurting each other unintentionally but hurting nonetheless.
And my gift has blessed so many people on my path which in turn has blessed me and there's nothing about that that is scary.
However we also need to understand that what truly allows us to base whatever that word is and saturate ourselves in the blessings of all our gifts,
What's most important is the reason or the drive to want to connect to our gift.
It is the reason and this is what I'll say,
It cannot be something that we want to connect to because I am great and I am going to heal and I'm going to fix and I am special and I want recognition.
It can't be about that.
It cannot be about you.
It cannot.
You can express your gift all you want but the real power in our gift and the blessings truly come from where it's coming from.
It's got to come from the heart and it's the process of becoming more real.
It comes from a process of becoming more real.
A process of going through life,
Feeling pain,
Being humbled and recognizing that the world needs our gift and it is our responsibility to serve.
We are servants.
We are not gods.
We are servants of God.
The message of love,
The message of truth,
We are here to serve that because that's what this world needs.
When we are coming from a place where we are designed to want to offer a gift because we recognize that it's what we need because we've been moved emotionally by pain because we are afraid to have pain but the beauty and the pain is that it's what makes us better.
When we are moved to offer a gift because we need to contribute and we recognize our power to influence and make things better,
That's where it needs to come from.
It can't be for self-recognition or acknowledgement or validation.
Otherwise it becomes an illusion.
You're offering this gift on the outside but it's just not as powerful.
So how to discover your gift?
Like I said,
It's a process of awakening so obviously we need to be committed to that journey.
I will teach you more about the process of that journey and that journey is a journey of self-love and self-discovery and all that.
There's a whole process to that.
In future episodes I'll definitely cover more of it but it's actually a two-year process.
The first year is about really discovering who you are.
It's really about building that foundation which expands into a journey of self-discovery and the journey of finding your purpose.
You can start with asking and reflecting on the following questions.
If you have a piece of paper and a pen,
Get this down or press pause and really reflect on these questions to start getting you on that path of how to discover your gifts.
These are the questions.
Number one is,
What are you really good at?
What are your strengths?
What are you passionate about or what really triggers you?
The reason why I say the opposite is because if you don't know what you're passionate about,
Then if you look at what triggers you,
The opposite is what you're passionate about.
What used to trigger me is I couldn't understand why people just wouldn't do things that were good for them.
Why would you eat like that and why would you not exercise and then look in the mirror and just always call yourself fat?
I never understood that.
Why would you do that to yourself?
What triggered me a lot is when I saw people who self-sabotaged because my gift is self-love.
My gift was always,
I always came from a place of self-love and I assumed that that's where everyone else is coming from so when I treated them that way,
It was too harshly truthful until I realized that the trigger of them doing that was because it was exposing my passion for self-love and my desire for us to come from a place of self-love.
That's just an example for that.
What inspires you or what really depresses you?
If you don't know what inspires you,
You don't quite know who you are yet,
Think about what makes you really sad.
Obviously whatever makes you really sad,
What makes me really sad is when someone is in a place of scarcity and struggle and they're alone and they don't have faith in themselves.
What inspires me is growth and learning and challenge.
What inspires me is to see people grow and overcome challenges.
Another question I would ask is what feels like common sense to you but not to most people or what do you find yourself being the least patient about?
You can see how all those questions overlap each other but essentially it's about just starting off with those questions and reflecting on that.
Obviously there's a whole series of things that we can do.
I just wanted to share that because I find that it's so important and I had a common conversation with my cousin this morning and she was telling me about a story of something that she was going through that she was struggling with and seeking some guidance and advice.
Ultimately it just comes down to,
I was telling her,
Nikki,
At the end of the day what does it say about who you are and what do you want?
It's just the things that are triggering you is somehow exposing you to explore something more within yourself and to understand your gift.
I told her,
Just come on the show and maybe it will help you.
Nikki,
Just listening to that,
How would you represent the 26 year olds out there who maybe possibly be going through the same thing as you?
Did it trigger any questions or does it feel more clear?
I feel like that you explained it's more clear because I feel like when you say find your gift it's like you have to go through all these loops and hoops and you're trying to find something and when you break it down to saying when you're a child and that's your most pure state and try to remember what you felt as a child and I feel like that kind of makes it simpler and you understand it more.
Awesome.
So in that moment when you thought about that version of you,
Were you like,
Oh,
Then I know what my gift is?
Yeah,
I felt like it was easier than just trying to go out there in this big crazy world.
Well,
You know what's funny?
It's funny you say that because when you perceive it as you've got to go out there in this crazy world and you've got to pick it apart and this and that,
It's like what you're actually doing is trying to create a gift.
You're looking around and other people know their gift so I should and then you try to create it and you get into this world that just becomes loud.
It makes it more complicated.
Yeah,
And so that's why when I was saying these are the things you have to know and so I'll repeat them again and I'm just going to find them real quick.
But there are certain things that we have to know.
Where is it?
Nope.
Anyways,
I may have to come back to that.
But there are certain things you need to know first of all is that we do have a gift and you can't be afraid of them and all those points you can rewind it and find out what I mentioned,
The points because I can't find them right now.
But ultimately when you understand those things,
You realize it's not a process of creating your gift.
It's a process of surrendering the things that are in the way that are allowing you just to default to who you are and that's where the gift is already there.
And so that's where we kind of get caught in this cycle of trying to create something.
We don't have to create anything,
We actually just need to acknowledge what already is.
Does that make sense?
Yeah,
It does.
So just stop the noise,
It's definitely something I would recognize.
If you're feeling like what Nikki's feeling where it's like,
Well I feel like I got to let you know and do this.
It's actually a process of breaking down.
And what I would actually say is,
Actually this is what I would say,
Everyone is a mansion or like everyone is a palace.
But the palace has been broken down a little bit and run down and so you're just going to renovate.
And when you renovate,
One of the first things you do is you got to break down first.
You got to break down the things that don't serve you or the things that are making the house weak kind of thing and then you rebuild that foundation and you start to recreate it.
But the gift would be the equivalent probably to the land,
The potential that's there.
And the rebuilding of the house and the rebuilding of who you are,
Which the essence of it is already there.
But the rebuilding of who you are and how you want to present it and how you want to show it to the world is something that you're creating.
But essentially what you're offering,
The gift,
It's already there.
What we have to work on is the packaging.
How do you want to package it?
How do you want to deliver it?
And that in itself is a process and an evolution.
It's like running a business.
You got to be innovative,
It's constantly got to evolve.
So you might think you want to package it this way but you pay attention to how people receive it because there's an intention to want to help and there's an intention to want to offer blessings for yourself and other people because you recognize you can help others.
And so if that's your intention but you're seeing that the response,
It's not being received,
Then there needs to be an openness to how can we allow the packaging to evolve and better package it.
And that's kind of like the phase that I went through when I transitioned into that third phase where it's like being impatient and being maybe too truthful even though I'm in a place of right and wrong.
But what I'm saying is right.
Why can't they just,
You know,
When you get caught in this state and it gets too much for people and it's like,
Okay,
Well if that's actually causing people not to be able to receive my gift,
Then that's all that really matters.
Whether I'm right or wrong,
It doesn't matter.
And part of my gift is I say it's about truth,
This and that,
But it's really about love and love is not right or wrong.
And so I realized,
You know what,
I need to let go of that.
I need to repackage this a little better.
So yeah,
So does that make sense?
Totally.
Yeah.
My cousin's smile is from ear to ear right now.
I know what that look means like my life just changed.
I gained clarity,
Right?
Anyways,
So is there anything else or is it just kind of like a,
Whoa,
I get it.
I have no questions.
Yeah,
You definitely broke it down way easier.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Cool.
So what are you going to do moving forward?
Just acknowledge,
I guess everything you just said and like I think I kind of have a clear understanding so yeah.
Awesome.
Cool.
And I know my cousin very well.
She's a lot like me,
So I know that she knows her gifts.
I just don't,
I believe that she just fully hasn't accepted it,
But only because,
You know,
It's not that we're not accepting it consciously.
That's why I said in the second step is that we don't accept our gifts unconsciously.
And the reason why is because the way we're wired,
The way we're thinking is in a direction that's keeping us in circles.
And so sometimes being educated and guided on how to think about it,
Kind of like what you did right now is going to direct you more down a path on how to find it and connect to it.
