What Is Behind My Need To Please Others

Today I want to speak about what is behind the action of pleasing others.

We are social beings.

We interact and we connect to others.

This helps us to grow and to evolve in several ways.

On the other hand,

This world,

This existence,

Is all about energy,

Vibration.

Everything is vibration.

And so,

When we connect to one another,

We connect through our vibration,

Our frequency.

Many times we put ourselves in environments in which we don't want to be.

And for some reason,

We let ourselves stay there,

Receiving whatever energy that comes from that.

It can happen with our family,

Our boss,

Our friend,

Our colleague,

Or anybody for whom we feel in the obligation of something in a particular moment.

We somehow believe that it is our duty to be present.

This means that we don't feel comfortable,

But we stay anyway because we force ourselves to ignore our feelings and our will.

Once we enter in a state of obligation,

We are reflecting a resistance to ourselves,

To our freedom of choice,

Which means that we are in fear of something.

For example,

We do everything that our boss says,

Despite the wish to do something else,

Because we are afraid of losing our job.

Have you ever felt your facial expression shifting from a smiley one into a more serious one as soon as you arrive,

For example,

To work or to a family event or to a doctor's appointment?

This happens because somehow we are anticipating an unpleasant experience,

And so our thoughts start coming up.

We allow them to control our minds.

We feel our frequency going down,

And we express it.

At this point,

We don't want to be there,

But we force ourselves,

And because we were not able to maintain our higher frequency,

Whatever level that was,

Not only we stay,

But also we stay against our will.

We low our frequency because of what others or particular environments represent to us to fit into them,

And this can automatically result into what we call pleasing others.

By doing this,

We are giving our power to another person or to a group of people because we are in a low vibration,

Which means that we are easily controlled.

We think that we can't be ourselves and do whatever we want.

Maybe we believe that we would be misunderstood or excluded or abandoned or rejected if we would just be ourselves.

So we act as if everything is okay.

We adapt to the situation by denying our true essence,

And we end up pleasing others much more than we please ourselves.

In fact,

Every time we do this,

We are judging us,

Our wishes,

And guilt is very much associated.

The guilt of not helping someone,

Of not keeping our job,

Of saying no to a friend,

Of not playing with our child.

And this is a tricky situation because we want to be good to others.

We want to be good parents.

We want to be social.

We want to relate easily and to say yes to everybody.

But if we don't know how to first love ourselves and how to please ourselves in all ways,

If we don't know ourselves well and therefore our needs and priorities,

If we don't have healthy and very well-defined boundaries,

Then we won't know how to keep ourselves on a high vibration and direct our life according to our will.

We won't be able to manage what enters and what doesn't enter in our life.

Then we may think that we are being what we call a good person,

But all we do is creating unhealthy relationships out of fear.

We tolerate things that we wouldn't tolerate if we were connecting from a place of love.

Fear is taking control of our actions and interactions.

We are so afraid of being rejected and abandoned that we end up rejecting and abandoning ourselves even before anyone else does it.

The focus has to be on how we feel and according to that,

We then choose what is best for us at a soul level.

We don't have to hide from the world,

But we don't have to force ourselves to be miserable either.

It is important that we pay attention to our feelings and to our thoughts related to those feelings in order to understand what we really want and need and therefore we choose what is really best for us without judging or punishing ourselves for following our heart and for choosing what we genuinely desire and yes,

Sometimes it may differ from the norm and it may go against others' expectations,

But in the end,

If we don't take charge of our lives,

Others will and that can really turn our life into an endless nightmare.

On the other hand,

Sometimes we may want to choose to do something that we think it can be challenging for us in order to fulfill a particular goal.

We don't have to avoid it at all cost as long as we keep our frequency high by focusing on something that we like.

If we manage to do that,

We can then turn an unpleasant experience into a more pleasant one without letting it interfere so much with our vibration.

I give you a very simple example.

On the other day,

I had an appointment.

It wasn't even something related to medicine,

But because it was in a place with several other specialties,

I ended up waiting on a dentist waiting room,

Which is not a place where we usually feel high vibrations,

Right?

So when I realized that I was going to do that and because I was not expecting it,

I literally stopped because I felt my feet wanting to go backwards.

At the same time,

I knew I had no other choice if I really wanted to be called from my appointment.

And so for one or two seconds,

I didn't move.

And then I decided that I was going to focus on something that would inspire me,

No matter how much I believed in that possibility or not.

So I walked into the room and as soon as I seated in one of the chairs,

I turned my face and I saw this big,

Beautiful,

Sculpted butterfly hanging on the wall.

If I could describe to you what I felt at that moment,

It was as if an angel had whispered to my ear saying,

Never doubt of your abilities to manifest anything.

I spent about two or three minutes staring at that butterfly until I was cold.

When I entered the second room,

I was literally smiling and thanking the universe.

I managed to protect my energy.

I didn't run away,

But I didn't deny my feelings either.

And I also didn't allow my unpleasant thoughts to control me.

And so I continued vibrating on a high frequency,

Acting from a place of love,

Even on a dentist waiting room.

So today,

All I want to say is let's feel and listen to what our feelings tell us.

No matter with who we are or whatever place we see ourselves in,

Everything matters.

Each moment matters.

We always vibrate and feel.

We can't avoid it.

The one way to please others in a healthy way is by choosing a path that goes according to what pleases us as souls.

The more we deeply listen to ourselves,

The more we are also capable of listening to others.

The more quality time we give to ourselves,

The more quality time we are able to give to others.

And when we master the art of finding pleasure in every detail of our life,

Then pleasing others can also turn into a genuine pleasure itself because it will be effortless with no intention of harming ourselves in favor of someone else.

We literally turn into a pleasure for ourselves and for others just by being present and shining as we are supposed to.