For today's talk and meditation practice,
I would like to focus on the concept of polarity and the pivot.
This is inspired by a TED Talk that Karen sent me,
In which the gentleman spoke about the search for the third position,
Which I think is a really important topic,
Just in general,
With being human.
It's actually a concept that's been present in many different cultures and traditions for the last two or three thousand years.
Right now,
We live in quite controversial and polemical times.
And so there's a lot of kind of fighting and arguments that occur,
And it gets exacerbated during times of stress and uncertainty.
Because when there's fear present,
The tendency of us as humans is the sympathetic nervous system gets activated and fight or flight kicks in.
And it's very easy to want to grab onto the illusion of certainty,
Because it makes us feel like we can make our choices such that we can avoid whatever it is that we're afraid of.
And so during times like these,
Where there's a lot of stress and uncertainty,
It can be very easy to get entrenched in a specific viewpoint or perspective or opinion.
Whether it's about politics or the virus or what to do about work.
I mean,
There's so many different things that happen,
And it ends up creating a lot of rifts in relationships and arguments and greater stress.
And it doesn't usually help us to hold on to a fixed position.
When we hold on to an opinion and believe or want to believe that it is right or correct,
It actually prevents us from learning and growing.
It also prevents us from having any form of resolution with those that have a different perspective or opinion.
And usually what happens is we just end up creating more tension.
The way out of this that's beneficial for ourselves and for the other is to find the third position.
Because whenever there's two seemingly oppositional perspectives or viewpoints,
There is always a third position that transcends and includes both of them.
And it's through finding that third position that we're able to resolve both sides in an equitable and growth-inducing manner.
And this is the nature of polarity.
So anytime we have a polarity,
The nature of polarity is that there's two seemingly oppositional aspects or sides or viewpoints that are always inherently connected.
Because if they weren't connected,
If they were just two completely different viewpoints that weren't in relationship to each other,
There would be no tension of polarity.
So whenever there's a polarity,
It actually means that the two seemingly oppositional sides are part of a greater whole.
But when we're entrenched in one side,
It's hard to see the whole.
And when we can find a perspective that's greater than both and encompasses both,
The polarity suddenly resolves and we grow.
So there's a parable that illustrates this that's one of my favorites.
Those of you that have been in these classes before may have heard it.
And it's about the blind men and the elephant.
And so the parable goes that,
You know,
A long time ago in a village in the mountains,
There were four blind men.
And they never had an experience of an elephant.
And one day they heard that this traveling caravan had come into town and there was an elephant.
And they were all really excited and wanted to find out what an elephant was.
And so they were led to where the tent to where the elephant was,
And they were afraid of getting caught.
And so each of them rushed in and touched the elephant and then ran back out.
And so they met afterwards to compare notes.
And the first one ran in and he had grabbed the trunk of the elephant and he told the others,
Oh,
An elephant,
It's like this giant eel that moves,
A giant snake.
And the second one had run in and he had touched the side of the elephant.
And he said,
What?
You're crazy.
An elephant is like a giant wall.
It's not thin.
It doesn't move.
It's just the stable wall.
And the third one was looked at the two of them and said,
You both are crazy.
He had grabbed onto one of the legs of the elephant.
He said an elephant is like a giant column that supports a building.
And the fourth one had grabbed one of the ears of the elephant and said,
I don't know what the three of you are smoking,
So to speak,
But an elephant is like a fan.
And all four of them had a direct experience of what an elephant is,
But none of them had the entirety of the elephant.
And that's what happens in any given polarity,
Is that the two sides are always part of a greater whole.
But if we're really attached to only seeing the one side that is the part that we are experiencing,
Or that we believe in our perspective,
It prevents us from seeing the whole.
Now,
If we could add on to this parable and add in a fifth person who was able to see the entirety of the elephant and its wholeness,
That fifth person would very easily be able to resolve the dispute between those four different sides by explaining how each of them had a part,
But not the entirety.
When we're able to find the third position in any given polarity or debate,
It offers a perspective that is more complete than is possible for either of the limited oppositional views that end up defining themselves by what they're in opposition to.
And that's another interesting thing about polarity.
When we are attached to one viewpoint or perspective,
Often we end up defining ourselves by what we're fighting or arguing against.
And it actually imprisons us further in that limited viewpoint.
In Buddhist soteriology,
They'll often talk about the middle path as the way to enlightenment.
In mundane terms,
This often means avoiding excess in any given thing,
Not eating too much,
Not eating too little.
It's about avoiding extremes.
But in a more esoteric sense,
The middle path is about finding the pivot that is the middle point between the contrasting dualistic aspects of reality.
It's about finding the third position that simultaneously connects and separates and transcends the two oppositional sides.
Whenever we find ourselves caught in polarity,
If we can take a moment to realize the magnetism of that polarity and how it both attracts us and repels us,
If we can remember that that is always just one part of the whole and that there is a perspective that transcends that,
It becomes possible to access that pivot,
That midpoint,
The third position,
That transcends and includes both.
It allows us to move closer to the natural state.
Because whenever we're caught in a polarity,
It means that we're caught by the mind.
Because it's the mind that will always view things in terms of duality,
In dualistic terms,
That there's a right and a wrong,
Yes and no,
Black and white,
That there is one right answer.
Whenever we feel that there is only one right answer,
It means that we are caught by the mind and we're caught in polarity.
Because the truth is that we are all part of an underlying oneness.
Everything in existence is part of a greater whole.
And within that greater whole of the all experiencing itself,
Or of God experiencing itself,
Depending on your perspective,
There are as many paths as there are stars in the sky.
We are all at different places on our path and in our growth,
And we all need different things at different times.
And at any given point for each one of us,
There can seem to be one way that is right,
That things must be or should be.
And it might be true that that is the one right thing for us in this moment.
But there is never any one right thing or way for everyone all the time.
And that's part of the beauty of complexity of being human,
Is that there are always so many different ways of being.
And part of the beauty of humanity is that we are not all the same.
You know,
It's why we can listen to a beautiful symphony.
It's because of the existence of all of the different instruments and all the different notes of music that we can experience the complexity and beauty of a symphony.
If there is only one instrument with one note that it played,
It wouldn't be nearly as beautiful,
Because it would lack that complexity that adds so much to the experience.
Similarly,
We are each individual notes in the symphony of life,
And our note and our instrument can change over time as we grow.
When we get attached to thinking there's one right way that we are all supposed to be,
It becomes very,
Very limiting not only for how we interact with the world,
But it really limits ourselves.
Because then it means that we're seeing ourselves in two-dimensional terms,
When we are all multidimensional beings that are continually changing and growing every moment of every day.
Even the body,
Which may seem to be stable and unchanging or only changing slowly over time,
Is continually changing every second.
Cells are continually being reborn and others are dying and passing away.
And if we speed up the timeline of a life,
We see how we grow,
We change,
We evolve,
And we eventually pass away.
And it's not meant to be different from that.
We're not meant to be static,
Unchanging beings.
This is part of life.
It's what the essence of life is,
Is growth and change.
And the more we can loosen our attachment to ourselves or the world being a certain way all the time,
It actually allows a great deal of relaxation and a great deal of growth.
We move closer to seeing ourselves and the world as we are,
As this continual unfolding process of life.
Another perspective that incorporates this is in Taoism.
So in Buddhism,
I talked about the middle path and that concept of finding the midpoint between two opposites.
In Taoism,
Taoist cosmology sees everything as one.
It started as a unity.
But being one,
It couldn't experience itself.
Because if it was wholly involved in experiencing,
There would be nothing for it to experience.
And if it was wholly involved in being experienced,
There would be nothing to do the experiencing.
And so the oneness,
Which they term as heaven,
Split into a polarity of heaven above and earth below.
That polarity then gave rise to the third term,
Which is the level of humanity,
Everything that exists at this level,
Which is seen as a coming together of heaven above and earth below,
Yin and yang,
Body and spirit.
Once we are incarnated in an individuated body that is a coming together of those two polar aspects of being,
We get to experience everything else in existence through this limited self.
There's a quote that sums this up by Livia Kohn,
A Taoist scholar,
That I really appreciate.
The One is divided into two forces,
Yin and yang,
And they are its functions.
However,
In the course of their interaction in the world,
The two forces establish a harmony.
Thus,
There are three,
The third being a newly found recovered unity on the basis of the one that was divided originally.
The number three consequently implies a totality as complete as was the original unity of the one.
Three is a oneness on a more complex level.
So we are that third term in the grand scheme of the universe,
Of the oneness experiencing itself.
We are as complete as the totality of the one,
But we are a oneness on a more complex level.
And it is through the complexness of this third term that we're able to simultaneously experience the polar aspects of both yin and yang,
Heaven and earth,
And body and spirit.
We have both within us.
And when we are able to find the stillness within,
We're able to transcend and include both polar aspects of body and spirit,
Of being simultaneously separate beings in a realm of duality,
Of self and other,
While always being immersed and a part of the underlying unity.
In this sense,
They often will also use the concept of a fish in water.
You know,
When a fish is swimming in water,
If you could ask the fish about the water,
The fish would say,
What water?
Because the fish has been born in the water,
It grew up in the water,
It's a part of the water,
It's never separate from the water.
And yet,
That's how we are.
We are immersed in and continually connected to the oneness of the all.
And yet we often forget that this is water.
So when we find ourselves caught in a place of polarity,
If we can have the wherewithal and the presence to take a breath,
Mentally step back from it,
And find the place of stillness within,
We can find the means to transcend that limited way of viewing the world and our experience.
And we can grow.
As we grow,
We make space for greater and greater complexity in the world for the fact that life is paradoxical,
That we are walking paradoxes.
And that rather than being something negative,
That that is actually the source of our beauty.
It is the mind that wants things to be simple,
Straightforward,
Absolute,
Easy to understand.
But that doesn't give the fulfillment that we truly seek.
When we can step back from the mind,
Which is really only meant to be a tool as a filter between the unity of oneness and the duality that we experience as individuated beings,
When we're able to step back from that and not get caught by it,
We're able to begin to surrender to the unity of the soul.
And the soul loves complexity.
It nourishes the soul because it's symbolic of life and what we are here for.
The mind doesn't like the unknown.
It wants there to be a right and wrong.
But life would be very boring without any unknowns.
Personally,
I like to see life as an adventure.
And part of the nature of any adventure is that there's so many unknowns.
There's so much mystery when you start off on an adventure or when you're in the midst of an adventure.
And that's what makes it exciting.
And it can also bring up fear and all sorts of other experiences.
But that's part of it.
And so the more we can open to the uncertainty,
To not knowing,
It actually opens us up more to the adventure of life.
And as we step back from the dualistic tendencies of the mind and we surrender into stillness,
We find that life continues to unfold.
And we find that there's beauty and perfection present in every moment when we allow ourselves to let go of trying to control and open up to it.
We relax into seeing ourselves more deeply as we are in each moment as complex,
Continually changing,
Multidimensional beings.
And we begin to see the world as it is.
And from that place of stillness,
We can then act with purity of intention from a place grounded in compassion,
Wisdom,
And love.
Because we begin to see a broader,
More macro perspective that encapsulates and transcends all the seemingly individuated pieces that may seem to be in opposition to each other at times.
With meditative practice,
We begin to find that pivot within ourselves,
The stillness of the pivot,
The meeting point of body and spirit,
Of duality and oneness,
Of inside and outside,
Self and other.
That pivot in Buddhist terminology is often associated with the concept of emptiness.
That everything is empty,
Inherently,
Nothing has an unchanging essence.
That everything is impermanent,
Everything changes.
And while emptiness can sometimes seem depressing,
The truth is that it's from that place of emptiness that all potentiality emerges.
In Taoist terms,
This is sometimes called the uncarved block.
When we let go of attachment to aspects of self-identity,
Of being a certain way,
Of defining and limiting ourselves by specific perspectives or viewpoints or opinions,
When we let go of that and we move towards being an uncarved block,
We find that we have everything within us.
And we have limitless potential when we find that place.
So,
If you will,
Please find a comfortable posture for the meditation.
Can be seated or lying down.
The most important thing is that you're able to release any unnecessary tension from the body.
And that there is no discomfort that is creating any damage to the physical body.
Being in the body,
And the more we become aware of the sensations of the body,
There's almost always going to be times of discomfort,
Of tension,
Aches.
And that's part of the practice,
To not react to it.
But if we're in a position that we are aware is possibly creating damage by cutting off circulation or impinging a nerve,
That's not useful.
We have to be compassionate with ourselves,
Even as we cultivate the discipline of the practice.
If you're seated,
Make sure that your knees are below your hips,
And that your torso and spinal column are rising vertically towards heaven.
Make sure that your shoulders are relaxed back and down,
And that your head is situated over the torso and spine,
With the crown of the head reaching up towards heaven,
As though there were a gentle string pulling upwards.
Whether you're seated or lying down,
Become aware of the solidity beneath you,
Supporting you and holding you up.
Feel all of the places where that physicality is providing stability,
So that your physical body can let go and release any unnecessary tension or holding or guarding.
Acknowledge that in this moment,
You are safe.
Become aware of the breath.
Observe the natural flow of the breath as it moves in and out.
It may be short or long,
Rough or smooth,
Shallow or deep.
Simply observe the natural movement of the breath.
If it is accessible for you,
Breathe in and out through the nose.
If it is challenging or not accessible,
It's perfectly fine to breathe through the mouth.
However you are breathing,
Focus your awareness on the threshold where the breath enters and leaves the body.
If you're breathing through the nose,
This would be the area of the tip of the nose,
The entrance of the nostrils,
Possibly even the area of the philtrum.
If you're breathing through the mouth,
This would be the lips.
Simply observing any sensations that are occurring at this threshold as the breath moves in and out.
If you're breathing through the mouth,
This would be the area of the tip of the nostril.
If you're breathing through the mouth,
This would be the area of the tip of the nostril.
If the mind starts to wander,
Gently guide the awareness back to the threshold of the breath,
The pivot between inside and outside.
If the mind starts to wander,
Gently guide the awareness back to the threshold of the breath,
The pivot between inside and outside.
Continue resting your awareness at this threshold.
As you begin to focus even more closely on the breath,
Noticing the very start of the inhalation as it passes this threshold,
Observing the duration of the in-breath passing over this threshold.
Then right until the very end,
When the inhalation stops,
There's a pause.
Then observing the very start of the exhalation crossing this threshold,
The duration,
And the moment,
And the very end of the exhalation passes the threshold,
And there's a pause.
Continue resting your awareness at this threshold.
Allowing the breath to move at its natural rhythm.
Focusing the awareness on the beginning,
Middle,
And end.
Beginning,
Middle,
And end.
Inhalation and exhalation.
Exhalation.
Become fascinated with the sensations occurring at the threshold.
Moving even closer with your awareness.
Exhale.
Begin to pay closer attention to the pause.
Between inhalation and exhalation.
And between exhalation and inhalation.
You may begin to notice the stillness within the pause.
If so,
Continue breathing naturally,
But focus on the stillness.
Exhale.
As you focus on the stillness,
You may become aware of the stillness that underlies the movement of the breath.
Allow awareness of the breath to move to the background.
And in the foreground of your awareness,
Focus on that stillness.
Exhale.
Exhale.
Exhale.
Allow the breath to become deeper.
Become aware of the felt sense of your body as a whole.
Feel the solidity beneath you,
Supporting you,
And holding you up.
And the air around you,
In which you are immersed like a fish in water.
And when you are ready,
Maintain an awareness of the stillness within.
As you gently and slowly begin to open your eyes,
Taking in the world around you,
Allowing it to flow through you.
The inhalation and exhalation would seem to be two oppositional aspects.
And yet,
We can't have one without the other.
It is the stillness of the pause between them.
It simultaneously connects and separates them,
Allowing them to be one whole in the cycle of respiration.
We always have this stillness within us.
We can always access it.
It's simply a matter of learning to connect to it,
Resting in it,
Letting go of the fluctuations of the mind.
And as we ground our awareness in the stillness within,
We naturally begin to resolve all of the internal conflict and judgments,
The ways we think we should be.
We allow space for the complexity of all that we are,
And we naturally soften into our true nature.
Thank you all for joining me today.
