What are relationships really for?
You know,
To understand this is obvious when you see the real point.
Of the human experience.
Like the more you understand.
What you're here to find in life.
The more it makes sense why relationships are relationships.
And we're putting silly words to these things to point to something that the words can't actually capture.
But I think we could find agreement.
That in essence the point of you being here is found in the phrase that says,
I want to see what I am.
It's kind of like the most ancient question,
What am I?
Is the driving motivation.
I want to see what I am.
Which is also to say,
I want to see the truth of life.
I want to see the truth of what I am.
If that is the case.
Then relationships serve that purpose.
They are what help you see what you are.
And so relationships serve as a mirror.
That show you what is going on inside of you.
And relationships are not merely with other people.
That's one form of relationship.
But everything that you encounter.
Is to encounter some version of a relationship that is a reflection.
That shows you you.
I'm experiencing a relationship with this chair that I'm in right now.
You experience a relationship.
To money.
You experience relationship to your possession.
All of these things,
How you relate to them.
Shows you how you see and experience yourself.
And the more painful those relationships,
It's kind of like saying,
The more you misunderstand yourself.
The more conflict and drama in those relationships.
They are alarm signals that are opportunity for a deeper understanding.
Just like conflict in a relationship,
And this is something that I've said often,
And I don't know if you can see it.
Maybe we can just say.
In some cases,
Even though it's all cases.
But whenever there's conflict and drama,
It's so often.
In innocent misunderstanding.
And that innocent misunderstanding is an innocent misunderstanding within yourself.
And the conflict and drama.
Exposes the misunderstanding so that we can look at it.
And then as we become more and more honest with each other,
The conflict and drama reduces.
It's the allowing of the deeper honesty and truth that heals the conflict and drama.
And so.
Whether this is a relationship between you and another person or whether it's your relationship with money or your past or your future.
Wherever there is conflict and drama.
It is a reflection.
That is saying,
Essentially,
The truth is not being seen.
And so the conflict and drama as an alarm,
As a pain signal invites you back to presence.
And ask the question,
What's really going on here?
Because you notice this in relationship drama between people.
So often we're not asking the question,
What's really going on?
So often we just want to be right.
So often we want something from the other person,
It's like we're not getting at the heart of the issue here.
Because again,
To get at the heart of the issue.
Requires a real deep self-reflection and a self-honesty that in many ways,
Invites you to look past all of those illusions,
Invites you to call out the ego inside of yourself that is blaming other people.
There's so many quote-unquote ugly things we have to look at inside of ourselves to get back to the heart of what's really going on.
But it is that truth that sets you free,
And it's the truth that heals the conflict and drama.
Furthermore,
You can be in a relationship with another human being.
And there be conflict.
You have conflict with them and they have conflict with you.
And you can heal the conflict you have with them,
And they can still have conflict with you,
But you don't have to have conflict with their conflict.
Like you can let them have conflict with you.
Because again,
The more you see it deeply,
You see that their conflict with you isn't really personal.
In the same way yours is not really about them.
It's two people who are looking into a mirror.
Having their own experience.
Which is something I see so often in couples that are fighting.
As they yell back and forth to each other.
In many ways,
It's so obvious that they're just talking to themselves.
And they don't realize it.
And so the expression of all these conflicts and drama.
Are quite beautiful.
Just like the expression of conflict in our own personal lives.
We can look at it and judge it and think it shouldn't be that way.
But the more you see.
.
.
The design of what is,
The truth of how all of these things are organized.
It's extraordinary.
The assumption is that there's some sort of cosmic error or cosmic mistake.
But it's all brilliantly designed.
That serves the purpose.
Of the truth being seen.
Which comes back to your original motivation.
I want to see what I am.
Life is trying to help you do that.
It's an interesting thing to see the mirror.
In all that is.
Because to a certain degree,
When you see it,
You can't unsee it.
And the more you see it,
The more helpful it is.
Which is kind of like saying,
Like,
In my relationship with my wife.
It's impossible to blame her.
For more than two and a half seconds.
Because the mirror is just too obvious.
Where it's so obvious that she's not the problem.
Let alone blame.
Anything and anyone.
And it's not even that it reverts back to a self-blame.
Because blame is irrelevant.
It's not a question of whose fault is it.
It's more of a question of what's really happening here.
