Hello Anxiety,
How are you today?
I wish I could say it's been a while since we last spoke,
But you've been my ever-present shadow lately.
I crave the day that you will leave once again.
I dream of that freedom,
And yet it feels foggy,
Like a distant memory.
I can only vaguely recall what life is like without you.
While it's easy for me to think about you and feel frustrated,
I also know that without you,
I wouldn't know the joy and freedom that comes with your absence.
You have kept me company on my darkest of days,
The days where I couldn't bring myself to face going out,
The nights when sleep would not come,
No matter how much I wished it would.
It's easy to think of you,
Anxiety,
And feel frustrated or disappointed by your presence,
By your mere existence,
But since you are here today,
Keeping me company,
I may as well try something different.
Perhaps instead I can look at you with compassion,
For I know you are trying to keep me safe,
To protect me from the dangers and the potential hurt that lies out in the world.
There was a time when I needed your protection,
And you came to be a part of me.
For today,
I will try something different.
I will choose to look at you with compassion,
To offer you a hug,
To invite you to sit down for a conversation so that we can get to know one another better.
Perhaps we can look at the fears that lie at the core of us,
The things we feel we may still need protection from,
And the ways in which we have grown and healed,
The things we no longer require your protection from.
For today,
I will try something different.
I will thank you for how diligently you have worked to keep me safe over the years,
At times you have worked day and night without so much as a thank you for all your hard work.
You have tried your best,
And I thank you for that.
For today,
I will try something different.
I will try sending us both love,
For we have been down a bumpy road,
And we have had to overcome a lot to get to where we are today.
But,
Anxiety,
I need you to know something.
I have grown,
And I have healed,
And I have learned from past mistakes.
I am not the same person I was when we first met.
I am so much stronger now,
And I don't need you to protect me quite so fiercely anymore.
Perhaps,
Anxiety,
You have been searching and waiting for something all this time.
Perhaps you were seeking the love and compassion and understanding I have offered you today.
Perhaps now you can soften.
Well,
Anxiety,
It's time for me to get back to my day.
I'm sure we'll chat again in the future,
But perhaps,
Even just for today,
You could consider taking a vacation.
Don't worry,
I've got everything under control here.
