Chapter 17,
Importance of positive relationships.
Be realistic,
Plan for a miracle,
Osho.
I mentioned earlier that around the time I started my company,
I was in a relationship where I felt I couldn't blossom.
He had a stable career and didn't fully support me being an entrepreneur.
Well,
That was my perception.
On one occasion,
I attended an award night alone because I think deep down he resented how much time I spent on my company.
He valued stability and encouraged me to find a part-time job to earn extra money.
We were clearly at two different wavelengths.
I read in the Millionaire Fastlane by M.
J.
DeMarco that the people in your life are like your comrades in a battle platoon.
They can save you,
Help you,
Or destroy you.
I also learned that if a partner does not encourage your entrepreneurship pursuits,
You need to let them go in your life or you will never be able to reach the fast lane.
Aside from the fact that my former boyfriend was not supportive,
He chose to live his life in the slow lane with a stable job.
We would argue and fight,
Leaving me often in tears and completely drained.
I didn't have 100% focus and energy on growing my company because I was spending so much time and contemplation about ending that relationship.
I am naturally a very career-oriented woman,
And I prioritized my company and new projects and activities more than my romantic relationships in the past.
I often dated men that were really interested in me,
But I lessened them.
I would rather spend time alone on a Saturday night or a Sunday on my company than in a relationship.
It was when I turned 35 that I admitted to myself that I experienced so much in my life yet never really fell in love or was in a genuinely loving and emotionally safe relationship.
I was finally ready to prioritize love in my life and even declared that in front of a group of 40 business professionals I network with on a weekly basis one early morning.
We had 3 minutes to talk about our personal or professional goals,
And I vulnerably shared my desire to find my dream partner.
One of my friends came up to me afterwards and told me that since I made such a bold declaration out to the universe,
I would manifest that desire by summer,
Only a few months away.
I didn't believe him,
But I silently hoped my dream would come true.
My dream did come true,
And not in the typical way.
Out of the blue one sunny day in late June,
I received a message on LinkedIn.
I was in the middle of picking up a friend.
At the airport,
But quickly looked at his profile,
I thought to myself,
Wow,
I was able to attract that caliber of man to want to connect with me on LinkedIn.
I smiled and told myself I would reach out to him when I had more time after the retreat,
Which I was holding at my house that weekend.
The retreat weekend passed,
I forgot to reply to that LinkedIn message,
And then I flew to Saskatchewan that summer to help my sister with her seasonal company for two months.
Two weeks after arriving back to Quebec,
I was invited to a book launch for Inspiration au Masculin.
Masculine inspiration,
38 exceptional paths that push us into action.
I bought the book and started reading it.
One story with the heading,
The innovator at the service of entrepreneurs,
Was a good looking picture of a man,
Stéphane Bélanger.
His white t-shirt with explore the unknown printed on the front caught my attention.
After reading a quote from him,
To have what we never had,
We must do what we never did.
And feeling drawn by his mission to inspire people to develop their entrepreneurial potential in order to achieve the lifestyle they aspired to more quickly.
I immediately felt the need to contact him.
His name looked familiar to me and I soon realized it was the same LinkedIn invite I received at the end of June.
His quote gave me the push I needed to do something I had never done before,
Which was to reach out and tell him how much I liked his story and wanted to help in his mission in any way I could.
We arranged a breakfast together after my return from a family trip.
Our breakfast lasted three and a half hours,
And we talked about topics ranging from using our intuition,
Entrepreneurship,
Our goals,
Dreams and interests,
Personal development and travels to Africa.
The moment I started to focus on love and continually prioritize our new romantic relationship that was beginning to blossom,
Something bizarrely new happened.
My company started to grow.
Contracts started to effortlessly come to me,
Even though my energy was not 100% on my business.
The more I had an abundance of love in my life,
The more actual abundance poured into my life.
It was almost as if life was gifting me for having my priorities set on giving and receiving love.
Being in love for the first time in my life allowed me to freely live and work with my heart open.
I was also in a more receptive state,
Welcoming the abundance of love and money coming into my life.
I was not in any resistance.
I used to have a belief that in life I could only have love or money,
But not both.
Since the first couple years of my company were a lot more difficult financially,
I was more in survival mode,
Therefore I often chose money.
Like the anonymous quote,
I finally realized that all failures in life are failures in love,
And I could actually have both love and money.
During the summer,
While I lived with my sister and brother-in-law,
I felt safe,
Loved,
And nourished,
Both emotionally and spiritually.
I had never lived with my sister as an adult,
So I cherished every moment I had with her.
I had the opportunity to objectively look at my own perception of love,
And really discover what I wanted in my next relationship.
Since I had declared that my next relationship would be nothing less than my dream man,
I had to really discover what a dream partner meant for me.
So,
I wrote four pages of the ideal man I wanted in my life.
Like I mentioned in a previous chapter,
I started meditating on the audiobooks,
Enchanted Love by Merriam-Williamson,
And Calling in the One by Catherine Woodward-Thomas,
And they helped me reassess what I wanted in a man and be open to new ideas.
When I decided that I really wanted a deep,
Authentic love,
I had to re-evaluate my previous belief systems that were holding me back.
I am so grateful that I did not miss out on such a beautiful and loving relationship as a result of my limiting beliefs.
Merriam-Williamson's words,
Just being in a good relationship is the ultimate service to the planet,
Touched me deeply.
She also spoke about her love,
Saying,
He is essentially a launching pad for me to be all that I could be,
But first I had to be committed to be all that I could be.
I wanted to be of service to the world and create more love and positive energy than anger,
Tears,
And frustration.
Merriam-Williamson also writes,
An enchanted love between any two people is a blessing in the world.
Ask yourself,
How can the world be blessed by us having found each other?
If your partner left the house feeling happier after spending the night with you,
Just know that your relationship is serving the world.
For me,
This was so enlightening to learn.
I don't have to do anything in particular to serve the world,
But simply being in a loving relationship is of service.
Stefan is one of the deepest,
Sweetest,
And most intuitive men I have ever met.
Having this loving partnership has created a strong foundation in my life.
My days are spent feeling love and wanting to serve more and more instead of anger and conflict.
I also believe that you are the sum of the five closest people to you in all areas of your life.
Think about it.
Is your current circle rich or poor,
Generous or selfish,
Positive or negative?
Who you choose to surround yourself with will greatly affect your life,
Period.
Choosing a romantic relationship where you are encouraged to grow more into who you were meant to be than trying to keep you small will naturally impact the trajectory of your life.
An enchanted love is a context where we can constantly be reborn,
Partly because the person in front of us has no attachment to our remaining who we were.
Merriam-Williamson This has been one of the most wonderful gifts my partner has given me.
He encourages me to grow every day and welcomes transformation.
In my past,
My boyfriends were so afraid I would change and leave them that they had anxiety about any new discovery or goal I made.
At the most extreme of times,
I felt like I was in prison,
Unable to break out of my cell.
Other times,
I felt like I was a flower that would never blossom to the woman I genuinely wanted to be.
It was all very limiting,
And I blamed my relationships for that instead of taking responsibility and choosing a different kind of love and partner.
As humans,
We have free will to choose our romantic relationships,
Friendships,
And even the family members we want to spend our precious time with.
I no longer take these choices lightly,
Like I once did when I was younger.
Who are the top 5 people you want to surround yourself with to help you become the best version of yourself?
