Aloha,
I'm Reverend Cindy Paluz and I always am not quite sure what guides me to share my talks with you and meditations.
And a lot of influences come in many ways,
But I always meditate every day.
Early in the morning,
Usually around four,
And then I write something down.
I usually don't know ahead of time what I'm going to write down.
It seems to be guided by spirit many times.
And other influences,
Things I've been seeing in my life,
Things I've been going through.
And today it was an interesting one because it's been an interesting time of a lot of people really needing things and wanting things and needing a lot of help in a lot of interesting ways.
And so it came to me today,
This poem,
Which is going to be the basis of what I'm going to talk about today,
Which is about giving.
It's about receiving and how the two work together and what we really are looking for and what we really need,
Maybe behind the need we think we want.
There's another need there as well.
It goes very deep.
I was reading in a book by a dear friend and teacher,
Roshi.
Bill Kwong Roshi wrote a book and he was talking about going out and using begging bowls.
It's a practice that's done in Zen.
It goes way,
Way back.
I don't think it's done that often now.
But you would go out with the hat that would kind of cover up your eyes and a whole outfit and you'd have a bowl and you would be open to whatever might come into your begging bowl.
And it might be nothing.
It might be a quarter.
You never know when you go begging what you're going to get,
But the idea is an interesting one.
You can do it yourself if you can.
Just for a moment,
Imagine you were on the street with a begging bowl.
What would that mindset be where you could be humbled enough to ask to receive anything that would come?
It would be an interesting ego trip to deal with,
Right,
In many ways.
I wrote this.
Empty begging bowls.
Asking for us to help and feed a starving soul.
There will always be those who are hungry and a call to feed those who are in great need.
There are so many empty begging bowls and many out there,
Of course,
Whose bowls are rather full.
What can we do to give something to help the whole?
Sometimes it's just a small gift.
Mother Teresa would say,
Smile at people at least five times a day,
Especially to those you normally wouldn't smile at.
She talked a lot because she was out there amongst the starving,
Amongst the people needing most working with them.
I remember a story by my friend Wayne Dyer who said he was at a talk at a radio station in Phoenix.
Mother Teresa was there talking to the DJ and he was also on the same show.
And afterwards the DJ said,
I really want to help you.
What can I do?
You know,
We have this radio station.
It's very powerful.
We could raise some money.
We could do some funds.
We could do a special thing.
And I can relate,
Of course,
Because I'm a DJ and I have radio stations.
But she said to this man,
This DJ,
No,
No,
I really don't need your help.
And he kind of,
I guess in his ego,
No,
Really,
Let me see.
There's many,
Many.
I could probably do a fundraiser and raise a lot of money.
And she said to him,
If you really want to help,
Get up early in the morning,
Early at dawn and go out and help someone who's homeless,
Feed someone who needs feeding.
Of course,
You know,
That probably didn't happen,
Right?
Because he was wanting to help with what he had to help,
Which was his comfort zone help.
But sometimes you don't necessarily want to go out of your comfort zone.
And you know what?
That's okay,
I think.
I think you can give in the way you want to give,
But you have to sometimes explore.
If you're doing it for your own self and your ego in a way,
Or if you're really doing it to do some help.
So I went and wrote more about this.
There are many empty bowls,
Many begging bowls.
And there are many bowls who are full.
Those bowls are full,
But what can we do to give something that will help the whole,
Right?
And I mean the whole,
But if you look at the word whole,
W-H-O-L-E,
Of course that word has an H-O-L-E.
And when there's holes,
H-O-L-E,
Sometimes there's a lot of holes that need to be filled,
Potholes,
Et cetera,
Holes,
You know,
The holes in our soul.
The holes that,
As the Beatles said,
Fixing a hole where the rain gets in to stop my mind from wandering.
Remember that one?
Now sometimes it's a small gift we give,
An act of kindness that makes the world a better place to live.
As Mother Teresa did say about being a little kinder and smiling.
Now we all have needs.
We all have needs we need to feed.
Do you know what your need is?
I have to wonder,
Do you really know why you're meditating,
What you're hoping to get,
What is behind that need that you need to have filled?
This is an important question because if you don't know why you're doing something,
You may wander off course,
Looking for this,
Looking for that,
And looking for whatever,
You know,
Is there this,
Is there that?
But is there something that you really know inside yourself that needs to have a certain need,
A certain energy,
Something to feel,
Something that's missing maybe or that you perceive as missing?
Because once you find that,
Then there's a really good chance that you might get away to have that need fulfilled.
But here's the interesting thing.
Once you do have your need fulfilled,
Then it's important to share what you have and to give because life is about giving and it's also about receiving.
And some people have a hard time receiving.
So they're giving and giving and giving and giving and giving,
But they're not able to take a moment to let that begging bowl be filled with what really is needed.
So they just keep giving without really understanding what's behind that.
It's a very interesting subject.
I go on to say empty,
Empty begging bowls can be a chalice for my soul and they can become an offering,
A chance to share our blessings.
And here's a key for when we empty our bowl,
More can be received,
You know.
Reminds me of another Zen talk that was given.
This is where the student had searched long and hard to find the teacher and finally got to the teacher and went and bowed deep to the teacher and said,
Teacher,
I really need to find the answer.
And it goes on and talks about this long search and trying to find all of these really important answers and all the books that had been read and all the paths that had been taken.
It goes on and on about what it took to get there and trying to find the answer to life.
And meanwhile,
The Zen teacher takes a cup and starts pouring tea into the cup.
And as the student keeps talking and talking,
The tea cup becomes full and then it becomes over full.
And then it spills out onto the ground and it keeps pouring and the student finally says,
Wait,
Stop,
Stop,
Look at what you're spilling,
Spilling all the tea,
Stop.
And the teacher says,
Until you're really empty,
Then you can't have that tea cup full.
And if that tea cup is full,
Then you don't need to keep on searching.
And it's interesting because some people's whole lives have been about trying to feel that need,
Trying to find that answer.
Some people spend,
Oh,
Decades just spending money and trying to get that,
Whatever it is,
To fill that cup,
But they're not open enough to receive.
Does that make any sense to you?
Do you understand that concept?
I wrote a book called Mystical Mother Mary once and it was about healing people who had been abused and it was about the gift of Mother Mary.
I realized that there was a lot to this giving and taking because I'm one of those people that like to give a lot,
Right?
I happen to be someone that sometimes has a hard time receiving.
And I wrote some questions for reflection on this,
Where you have to go to a quiet place and you need to stop and breathe and you need to clear and make an empty space.
Can you do that?
Can we just take some clearing breaths and go into that quiet place,
That empty space of silence and just get comfortable and relax and really just allow yourself to ponder.
Are you someone who is giving all the time or are you someone who takes?
What do you give and what do you take and why do you give?
Do you feel worthy enough to receive?
Can you be an empty cup,
That empty chalice that if lifted up to the highest source of all will indeed get what you need?
And if you do receive,
If you're getting something,
Why is it you want that something that you're getting that resonates with you,
That feeds your soul?
There's such an amazing gift in life,
So many gifts that are free,
Really.
For me,
I never failed to be gifted by the beauty and the blessing of nature.
Every time I take a walk in nature,
I feel some gift being given.
Every time I look at a sunset or a sunrise,
I see something of beauty.
I'm going to do a little exercise I have here that will help you receive,
I hope.
I use this exercise quite often.
Just make that little space inside yourself and allow ourselves now to just go to that place and that space of silence so we can be in a place again where we're open to receive the highest energy of light and love.
And let's direct our focus on the energy behind that source of all light and love.
As is said in the Aramaic Lord's Prayer,
That energy that is the avum deh boshmaya,
The Father,
Mother,
God,
The source of all shimmering light.
The place of the infinite flow of light.
And now visualize from that place two living streams of energy.
I say living streams,
Activated energy that's alive.
One from Father God,
One from Mother God.
Coming down in a V of light from the highest place.
Coming from that wonderful source of all light and love and see this energy of light pouring down from the infinite right into your heart of hearts.
Can you allow yourself a moment to believe and to receive the infinite wonderful nectar from the chalice of God coming down to you in these wonderful streams of light?
Positive,
Negative,
Male,
Female,
Father God,
Mother God,
Shimmering light of all pouring down into your heart right now.
Receive that energy,
Breathe it in.
Drink your fall,
Just allow that wonderful nectar,
That bliss of that wonderful light and love to heal you.
Receive that energy.
And now take a moment to let that energy flow through all of you,
Your body,
Healing any part of you that may need healing.
Just releasing anything that may be blocking that wonderful gift so you can be receiving that energy throughout all of your body,
Your mind,
Your emotions,
Your heart,
Your soul.
And now as you see your whole body surrounded in this wonderful energy,
Allow yourself to allow that energy to flow on down,
Circulate it all through your body and then down and out and into the earth below.
And see this circular energy just as a pillar of light.
You are now a wonderful pillar of light from the highest source of all light and love with that V of energy coming through you from your heart and on down and around your whole body.
You are in this golden pillar of light that's activated that feeds all of your heart,
Mind and body and your soul.
Let's do this again.
Takes a while to really receive this energy.
So again,
Go to that place of infinite light and infinite love,
The Father,
Mother,
God,
The shimmering light of all.
And allow this light to come down in a V of energy and meet in your heart.
And allow that energy there to activate your heart to be receiving the highest energy that you need right there.
And allow that energy to circulate around you and now you are a pillar of golden light from the highest,
A pillar of golden light that completely surrounds your whole body and down to your feet.
And just be in that energy field of the highest light and love and receive this healing energy that feeds all of your needs.
Receive the love that is waiting there for you to receive.
Let it redeem you,
Let it restore you,
Let it completely be what you need right now.
Now just be still and receive that energy.
Just relax and see all of everything you need being fulfilled by the highest gift of all,
The blessing of light and love.
Let go of any hunger,
Let go of any need,
Let go,
Let go,
Let go.
Be healed and made whole.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Now we're going to do this one more time.
Just so you have this and you can use this at any time you want.
Go to the highest shimmering light and love from the source of all,
Father,
Mother,
God,
The avundebhushmaya and allow this energy to come down in two infinite streams of light,
Get a V of energy from the highest right into your heart of hearts,
Feeding your heart with love and light,
Becoming a golden pillar of light all the way through all of your body,
Head to toe.
You are a golden pillar of light completely filled and healed and restored and redeemed and renewed.
Breathe it in,
Pause,
Breathe it out.
Breathe it in,
Absorb it,
Be it,
Become it,
Breathe it out.
And now slowly come back into everything that you are and realize you are whole.
You have everything you need and be grateful,
Say thank you,
God,
And know you can share this energy with anyone in any way possible.
It may be a gift,
It may be a donation,
It may be a smile,
It may be an act of kindness,
It may be a kind word,
But you have that ability to share the infinite light and love of God.
And as you give it out,
You will receive more of it.
I thank you so much for being here.
I love you.
God bless you always.
