There is a question from the chat from Tanu.
Is it necessary to go back and say sorry,
The people sorry of something wrong we did in the past?
You are the best judge.
If without saying sorry,
You can let go of that memory totally of that person,
Then great.
But if the memory is still there,
Then the easier way to is just go pick up that phone and say sorry.
I don't want to bring up the past.
I don't want to discuss in details.
I just want to apologize from the depth of my heart.
And say sorry.
Be done.
Take this up as an exercise.
You've already written down your duhesha.
I'm sure there is at least one or two people to whom you owe a sorry.
Today you will do that.
Today is homework number one.
Today in the evening,
Make that call or if the person is in your house or in front of you,
You can say directly.
No need to discuss.
What does discussion do?
No,
Not just that.
You know I did it because of this.
I did that.
You are justifying your action.
What does justification do?
Creates an authorization.
What does justification do?
Your mind is working that you know like what you're satisfying,
You're just kind of saying that yes,
What I did was not really in this way.
You are giving yourself permission to commit that mistake again.
Becoming a slave to your ego.
You're becoming a slave again.
No justification.
No justification.
Just plain I am sorry.
From the depth of my heart,
I apologize.
But if you have already done that and the person that you are dealing with,
He or she goes away and still has their own concept.
I mean they are not accepting it.
That is their karma.
Then you let go,
Right?
Yes,
Yes.
That is their karma.
That person's concept is that person's karma.
My concept is my karma.
Are you getting this?
My concept about you does not reflect on you.
It reflects on me.
If I think bad about you,
It does not reflect upon the kind of person you are.
It reflects upon the kind of person I am.
If you are thinking bad about another person,
He is not bad.
You are bad.
Yes.
So if your mind is really fooling you,
She is like this,
He is like this,
It is you.
It is a reflection of your mind that you see in the other person.
So if he or she has his or her concepts about you,
They are welcome to have it.
Say like you have made some mistake and you have acknowledged it and just said okay I'm very sorry.
You know without any justification.
Yeah,
Yeah.
So then the other person still hasn't forgiven you or something.
That's okay.
Again don't expect no.
You are not going for his or her forgiveness.
What are you going for?
Your peace of mind.
Inside that impression that I have created no of this whatever difficult relationship with him or her,
I have to erase it.
And if that apology from my side helps me get rid of it,
I'm doing it for myself.
I'm not saying sorry so that you say okay I forgive you.
No.
Because when you are expecting her or him to forgive you,
You are actually expecting a permission to repeat it again.
No.
Don't even go that way.
Drop this thing.
Be very clear.
I am not expecting that other person to say sorry or I forgive you or thank you or let it be,
Let it go,
Whatever.
No.
This moment I want to let go of that negativity I am holding on to.
That's why I'm saying sorry.
I'm just opening up my fist.
Please don't throw anything else into my fist.
Now let it be open and free.
Got it?
Yes.
So start with speech at least from your action apologize and then start working internally.
Because it's not going to go so easily.
It's like a very strong impression.
Don't have sand or some suppose we had sand here.
And I hit my fist into the sand once.
Is that one time I said you know I hate this woman or I hate this man.
And again after a few days again I said it to myself.
I'm not even telling him or her.
I wasn't even rude here.
In my head I'm thinking.
Again I'm thinking oh I hate him and again after a few days I say this and I say this.
This little impressions have become a big hole.
This is in my consciousness.
Now because of that big hole one day she comes my way or he comes my way and I blurt out something bad.
Really there was this undercurrent of hatred which was there for a long time already.
That is why I blurt it out.
I would have not blurt it out otherwise.
You see.
So now I apologize for this level of action.
Now I have to go one step deeper and start working on this big well that I have created and start covering it up.
It's going to take some time right?
Start at this above level then go one level deeper.
This is for everyone.
She just asked this question guys.
But it works for everybody.
Start at the superficial level that I'm going to work on this.
A commitment to myself.
It's not for the other person.
I don't know who you're going to apologize to.
It's not for him or her.
Who is it for?
For myself.
For me to clean up this garbage that I am carrying.
I think they're not alive.
I understand that.
It's going to be tougher because at the superficial,
The top level I cannot get it cleaned.
But I have to work harder than the other person.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Now don't start beating yourself up.
Oh when he was alive I didn't apologize.
It's okay.
Gone,
Gone.
That time is gone.
Start working again on that impression.
That duisha.
Start working on it.
Observe every duisha has got to do with a raga.
Every raga has got to do with a duisha.
You work on the easier one.
First identify the couple and you start working on the easier one.
That fire in me has to come down.
Come down.
Come down.
You have a point where nothing affects you.
That is the skill art of living.
