Fall Back to Sleep | Insomnia SOS | Sleepytime Talk Down

Hey,

It's okay that you're awake right now.

Whatever it is that's happening tomorrow,

That doesn't actually matter yet.

And whatever happened already today,

That's all.

You're in between now.

In between yesterday and tomorrow.

And here there's nothing to do but rest.

And resting is enough.

Did you know that?

Falling asleep is fine and it's easy,

But all you have to do right now is rest.

Whatever is happening in your mind,

Don't bother working on stopping it.

It'll stop itself.

We can just ignore it.

Let's go for a walk in the neighborhood,

Yeah?

It's the end of the summer,

It's the beginning of fall,

And it's the middle of the night,

So it's gonna be just a little chilly.

I'm gonna bring a sweater and put on thicker socks.

I'm tiptoeing through the dining room to pick up the house keys I left on the kitchen table.

I don't know why I'm tiptoeing.

There's no one here to wake up,

But tiptoeing feels good.

The night is really quiet and I want to keep it that way.

Will you help me find my green hoodie?

I thought I left it by the door.

While you're looking in my room,

I'm gonna check the car.

The house is so quiet and it's warm in here.

The moon is a quarter full.

You can see it from the window.

You check my closet,

Looking for my sweaters and hoodies.

Here's a black hoodie.

It's old.

I've had it for years.

It's soft and seeing it reminds you of that barbecue we went to earlier in the summer.

I wore it outside when we had a bonfire and the hoodie smelled like fire for weeks,

Even after I washed it.

Between a red sweater and my blue sweatshirt,

There it is.

My green hoodie.

It has a little gray frog on it.

Someone got it for me for my birthday because they know how much I love tree frogs.

You text me real quick to let me know you found it and I answer,

Meet me in the driveway.

Don't forget to lock the door.

Your keys are on the piano where we've left a candle burning,

So you blow it out gently.

I'm waiting in the driveway and I show you the moon.

We stand for a moment looking at it together.

Even though I know everyone can see the moon,

I have always felt the moon was very personal.

I've known it my whole life.

It feels like a good old friend.

We turn to the street and walk down the driveway.

At the bottom we turn left toward the little school on the corner.

There are no cars out this late.

It feels like we have the whole town to ourselves.

I want to walk down to the playground at the school.

I like being there at night with no one around.

Let's walk in the middle of the street.

Remember that time we had a picnic on a Sunday here at the playground?

I like this neighborhood so much.

It's such an easy place to live.

I can always find parking.

I know that's not easy in other parts of town.

We have a few good grocery stores too and it's not too far and a walk to the gym.

It's this time of year I really love walking at night.

It's chilly but it's not too cold.

Although I think if I lived in a place that was always chilly I'd get bored of that.

There's just something good about change,

You know?

The four seasons shifting my perspective when they change and everyone gets older.

We get smarter over time.

We let go of things we used to really care about and we start to care about things that never really mattered before.

Let's have a picnic again.

I had to make some corn on the cob and I'll bet our vegan friend would bring some great plant-based butter.

I am learning to like new things and I don't have to be uptight about what other people eat.

She's very generous to always share with us.

You'd make that really good potato salad like you usually do.

Oh right,

Oh the pasta salad.

You know,

I never liked pasta salad until you started making them for me.

See,

I'm growing up and learning to expand my horizons.

Oh my god,

I'm getting tired.

One more block and then let's turn back.

I think I may not be able to walk all the way to the train bridge.

I have some really good pictures of fall leaves from that train bridge that I took a few years ago.

That bright yellow ginkgo and the golden maples against the black iron bridge.

It looks like a professional wallpaper and I just took it with my phone.

I remember that day so well.

I took my friend's four-year-old and their dog for a walk.

He was really into trains and so we stopped at the train bridge to watch for some.

Even though there were like five tracks,

We waited forever and we never saw one.

But that kid was so patient and determined he wasn't willing to go until we saw a train.

So while we waited,

I took some pictures of the leaves and the bridge.

That dog was even getting impatient waiting for a train.

Finally I told him we'd go home and watch trains online and he got really excited.

Did I ever tell you that story about the train I took in China?

I didn't know what I was doing.

I'd never traveled before and I got a train ticket from Beijing to Kunming.

It's like going from Maine to San Diego and I thought it would be great.

I would just sleep and read and stare out the window.

But each section of the train had six bunks.

Three on each side and if you were in the top bunk you couldn't even sit up and that's where I was of course.

There wasn't a dining car either and the trip was like three days long.

So I was pinned up on the top bunk and every time we stopped at a station I'd run outside to buy food from a vendor on the train platform and then sprint back and go up to my little bunk.

And if I had to use the bathroom at night I'd have to crawl down the other bunks and try not to wake everyone else up.

The good thing is the other people in my section were a family and after a day they started inviting me to sit on the bottom bunks with them.

They shared their food with me and we played cards.

I spoke no Chinese and they didn't speak English but we just sat there and laughed at each other playing cards and eating grilled sweet potatoes that we'd buy from the vendors when we stopped.

We became really tight this family and me and when we got to Kunming and it was time to say goodbye I felt really sad suddenly.

Like these were the only people I knew in China and I was about to just walk away forever.

But I also thought it might be weird to try to stay in touch and anyway I don't know what we would say to each other.

I wonder how they tell that story.

One time we were on a train to Kunming and this Westerner was on the top bunk by themselves.

They probably thought I was crazy.

I'm glad I did that kind of stuff when I was young.

I don't think I'd be up for it now.

The bad sleep,

The uncertainty,

The weird food.

But I loved it.

I couldn't get enough of it.

I was really excited to just experience things you know.

I wasn't afraid of anything except missing out on my youth.

I guess it's a very good way to think when you're 21 isn't it?

Instead of trying hard to do something with my life like to get a job or go to grad school I was out there just trying to do some living.

I think you're like that too.

You love to live.

You're interested in what the world has to offer.

Experiences and memories.

All of it.

That's what I like about you.

You're hungry for living.

Oh my god.

Can we turn back?

I'm sorry.

I can't make it to the bridge tonight.

I promise next time I will.

I want to go back through the playground again.

I have such good memories of that 4th of July when we came here after dinner and all the neighbors were setting off little fireworks.

It was one of those nights that seemed to go on forever.

It was like 9 p.

M.

And the Sun was still out.

The middle of the summer,

Like the very middle,

Sometimes feels like the middle of a lifetime.

So much has already happened.

So much is yet to come.

But the high point is right there in the middle of the summer.

I like to think of a moment like that.

Just poised between the future and the past.

And here we are.

Sandwiched in the middle of an old version of ourselves and the selves that will become right here in the middle of the street,

In the middle of the night.

We'll wake up tomorrow and start all over again.

Here,

Sit on the swing with me for a minute.

Will you tell me about what you were like when you were a kid?

Did you play on the swings?

Could you do any tricks?

What did you do after school?

Did you go home or did you go out and play?

I think it would have been fun to know you when you were little.

I think we would have been friends.

Do you think so?

Hmm.

Can we walk home now?

I'm getting so tired.

I feel like I just ate a huge second helping at Thanksgiving dinner and now it's time for a nap.

Are your toes getting cold?

I want to go to the cinema this weekend.

Will you come with me?

I haven't seen a film in the cinema in so long.

It's been months.

It's always so cold in there but I think this time of year when it's getting chilly it's actually better because then I'd already be wearing warm clothes.

When's the last time you saw a double-feature?

Do they even do that anymore?

You'll come with me,

Right?

Thanks.

You're a good friend.

Here,

You open the door.

Don't let the cat out.

I think I'm gonna take a shower and brush my teeth.

Is it okay if I leave you here?

You can take a nap on the couch.

You can sleep over if you want.

There's a big pillow on the other side.

Yeah.

And then there's an afghan in the chest.

If you sleep over I'll make you breakfast.

I'm gonna leave the cat out here cuz she'll sleep with you if you want her to.

Thank you for walking with me.

Good night.