The Byte: Mike ~ Miracles Aplenty!

Greetings everyone!

I hope you're enjoying your Sunday and ready for the next episode of the Bite-Sized Blessings podcast.

This episode,

I'm introducing you to Mike Oppenheim,

Who is truly,

Truly a polymath.

During our conversation,

I was left wondering,

What does this guy not do?

He and I had a really incredible conversation,

And he shares four miracles,

Four truly magical events in his life,

And each one is,

Oh,

So different.

And once again,

It left me saying,

My God,

There is so much going on in this world that is so mysterious and so interesting,

And I just wish that everyone could understand that this place is a truly incredible world to live in.

Now,

Mike is many things,

And he does talk about that in this podcast.

He's an author,

He's a top humor and philosophy writer on Substack,

And he also was in two bands.

He has his own podcast called Coffin Talk,

Which is about the meaning of death,

And that one is actually in the top 3% on Apple Podcasts.

He's so very interesting,

And such a great speaker,

I kind of felt like I could barely keep up with him.

I hope you enjoy this conversation,

Because lately,

It's been one of my favorites.

All right,

Here's the very next episode of the podcast,

And my conversation with Mike Oppenheim.

So I bought a helmet the next day,

And I started wearing it,

And then two weeks from the day of the accident,

I was leaving my house,

And it was the best weather ever,

And I was like,

Screw it,

I'm leaving the helmet at home.

And I felt knowledge.

This is the only way I can explain it.

I don't hear voices,

I feel knowledge.

My intuition is never a voice,

It's like knowledge.

It's just like something hits me,

And it said,

I'm gonna say it said,

But like for the sake of the story,

But it wasn't a saying,

Like I'm not hearing a voice.

What the hell is your problem?

Get the hell back inside,

Get your helmet,

And put it on.

I mean,

It doesn't have to be just one,

I'd like to hear whatever you want to share.

Yeah,

I have a lot,

Actually.

So I think I'll go in order.

I think there's probably four,

And they range from super funny,

Interesting,

And cool,

To very tragic,

And people are gonna like feel sad,

But I don't care,

Because I'm an open book,

And that's my life.

Also,

Interestingly enough,

All of the events I'm about to disclose are nine years apart,

Which I just find interesting.

So the first one is the first time I thought something magical or weird was going on.

I went to college,

And I was a freshman,

And it didn't take for me,

I flew 3000 miles away from home to a place I'd never visited,

Pittsburgh,

Pennsylvania.

And I went there for a million reasons that were good.

But within about a month,

I realized,

I'm a weirdo from California,

I don't fit in,

I have no friends,

I had the best group of friends ever in California,

They're all still hanging out,

They went to colleges near each other,

I made a huge mistake.

But I made a huge mistake that I couldn't go back on,

You know,

Tuition's been paid,

I'm there,

I have a place.

I also bragged to everyone that I'm cool,

And I'm flying 3000 miles to a place I've seen,

You know,

So.

So I started praying for an excuse to leave without realizing I was praying.

That's a very important part of the story.

But I know,

In retrospect,

That thoughts are prayers.

So I was thinking,

Anyway,

One day,

I felt really sick when I woke up,

And I couldn't eat.

And a week later,

I still couldn't eat.

And I passed out in the middle of a class in the hall.

And I woke up with paramedics over me,

And they took me to a hospital.

And after a litany of tests that took five hours,

A doctor walked in the room with no smile on his face and said,

Mike,

You have non-hodgkin's lymphoma.

And it seems pretty late stage,

You need to deal with this,

You could potentially die.

And so they told me they released me for this is the story is weird.

I was 18.

So they're like,

They just released me with that news.

And so I went home,

And I'm like crying.

And I called my best friend back home,

This this girl who I would go on to date later,

And I cried to her and told her what happened.

She's like,

Well,

What did your parents say?

And I'm not telling my parents.

She's like,

What?

Why?

And I'm like,

I'm just not she's like,

Okay,

Well,

At least tell your brother.

So I was like,

All right,

I'll tell my brother.

So I called my brother.

And I said,

You have to promise not to tell mom and dad.

And I told him and then I hung up.

And then the phone rang a minute later,

And my parents,

My brother had told them.

So anyway,

They were about to withdraw me from school and fly me back to San Francisco for like cancer and stuff.

And then this is why I believe in magic.

I didn't want to go in the period of my mom flying out to like,

Take care of me and all this crap.

I made two really good friends.

And I suddenly loved Pittsburgh.

So after I go back for screening in a week,

And it's the same,

Not worse,

Like the white cell red cell counts.

And then I go back a week after that,

The counts the same.

And then they said,

Oh,

No,

I'm sorry,

The count was like slightly better.

So I was like improving a little bit.

So they said,

Okay,

You definitely aren't in stage five or whatever you're in,

Whatever this is.

So my mom's like,

Alright,

I'm gonna fly home.

And then we're gonna wait for the next test.

And then we'll figure out whether to withdraw you and all that.

And then I went in for the next test.

And it was gone,

Completely gone.

And the doctor told me sometimes things go in remission,

You should like follow back.

And so I told my mom,

And she said,

Alright,

Well,

Tell us how the follow up goes.

So I lied.

This is the weird part of my personality.

I lied to everyone.

I said,

I went to a fallback.

And I never did.

And this was when I was 18.

And I'm now 42.

So there's no way I'm carrying not I've also,

As we'll learn from these next stories,

I've been medically tested a couple times since then.

So I definitely don't have it.

So that made me believe in much more than the positivity of prayer,

It made me believe in the negativity of prayer.

This was a lesson for me in like,

Be careful what you wish for.

Don't ask.

Well,

The next story is another example.

So when I was 26 and a half,

So remember,

I was 18,

When the first thing happened.

And then I was I turned,

I was turning 27.

I can't remember the exact details.

But um,

I had decided,

And actually,

I just wrote a series of essays on this.

So if people want to check it out,

You can go to my website and read this.

There's like a full,

Long story.

I will make it much shorter right now.

But uh,

Yeah,

I had made plans to go to a graduate program.

And I was gonna get a law degree because I was giving up on myself and my dreams of becoming a writer and a musician.

And so I committed to the University of Oregon to get a concurrent degree in law and conflict resolution.

And I was going to be a mediator and help homeless people in prison convicts.

That was like,

What I was going to do.

But as like the summer started to like approach,

And it was getting closer and closer to moving and going to the program,

I realized I made a horrible mistake.

I didn't want to do it.

I loved Portland.

I love my friends.

And also,

Bing bing bing bing bing.

I just knew I didn't want to be a lawyer.

I knew that like,

That was an easy path in life for my personality and where I'm from,

Like,

That's like a,

Not,

It's a beaten path.

And whether or not you know,

And I'm not really financially driven as a human,

I'm just,

That's never been my thing.

So,

Uh,

So anyway,

I started like,

Praying for an out.

Now,

At the same time,

I was really into bicycling.

I was like bicycling every day of the week,

I would only drive one day a week,

I'd like really because Portland,

Oregon was like the first bike friendly city in America,

Probably,

I probably I'm not positive on this.

But anyway,

So one day I was bicycling at night back from the bars with my friends,

And I never wore a helmet.

And I saw a person not wearing a helmet,

Slam on the brakes,

Crash into a car,

Break their head into the back windshield,

Fall on the ground right in front of me,

I walked up,

And I tried to help them as they bled out.

And I'm assuming they died,

There's a chance they didn't,

But I would be blown away if they didn't survive with like massive head trauma.

I mean,

No matter what this person's life changed that day,

And it probably ended.

My friend at the time,

Like,

Was she still a friend,

But she elbowed me really hard and was like,

Do you see why you need to wear an effing helmet?

Because you know,

My friends were like,

You're so arrogant.

Like,

Why are you doing this?

I was like,

And I'm not a cool person.

I cannot stress this enough to people.

I'm not like this,

Like,

Leather jacket,

Shame smoking person,

I just literally loved the feeling of wind of like,

I'm that stupid.

Okay.

So it wasn't like try to be cool thing.

It was literally,

Oh,

Well,

Then biking won't be fun helmets,

Like,

Make your skin weird.

And,

You know,

So I bought a helmet the next day,

And I started wearing it.

And then two weeks from the day of the accident,

I was leaving my house,

And it was the best weather ever.

And I was like,

Screw it.

I'm leaving the helmet at home.

And I felt knowledge.

This is the only way I can say I don't hear voices.

I feel knowledge.

Like my intuition is never a voice.

It's like knowledge.

It's just like,

Something hits me.

And it said,

I'm gonna say it said,

But like,

For the sake of the story,

But it wasn't a saying,

Like,

I'm not hearing a voice.

What the hell is your problem?

Get the hell back inside,

Get your helmet and put it on.

So I go all the way back to my house.

I was like a block away.

I get the helmet,

I put it on,

I go out and have breakfast with my friends.

And then I'm biking home.

And I was lazy.

So I put the helmet on over my sunglasses on my head.

And then the same voice told me,

If you get hit,

That will cause the sunglasses to cave into your head,

And it will defeat the entire point of wearing a helmet.

Stop,

Take the stupid sunglasses off and put them.

So I did that.

And then a block later,

A car ran a stop sign and hit me and where I'm not wearing a helmet,

I 100% would have died.

I smacked it like three times on the car and the pavement.

I was in a wheelchair.

And guess what happened when I was in a wheelchair,

I didn't have to go to the law school program.

They gave me my money back,

And they told me I didn't have to go.

And then in that period,

I realized I wanted to be a writer.

So I applied for an MFA.

And I moved and went to Oakland,

Which is where I'm from.

My whole life changed.

All right,

Everyone,

I hope you enjoyed this very next episode of the podcast and my interview with Mike Oppenheim.

I need to thank Mike for taking the time to be a guest on the show,

And for telling all of his stories.

Thanks to everyone who listens.

I'm so grateful to all of you.

And I need to thank all of you for the ratings and reviews you've given me.

You have no idea how much those help other people find the podcast.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Mike.

Be into the mystery.

Mike has lived this charmed life it seems and has this ability to walk through the world having all sorts of synchronicities and magical things happen around him.

Be open to the mystery like Mike.

Be aware that there is mystery in the world like Mike.

And I bet so very soon,

Magical and miraculous things will start happening to you.

I'll see you next week for the very next episode of the podcast.

And until then,

I hope life is filled with laughter,

With dear friends,

And with summer days and summer fun that just goes on and on and on.