Welcome Everything -1

23:29

23:29

Welcome Everything -1

by Lisa Goddard

Rated

4.8

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

56

This is the first book study talk on Frank Ostaseski's "The Five Invitation". There is some class participation and background sounds. One of the invitations is to make it a part of your practice. Whatever is heard in the background, can be welcomed. That is the essence of what this talk is pointing to.

Death Fearlessness Acceptance Awareness Self Reflection Love Spiritual Growth Mindfulness Death And Dying Five Invitations Welcoming Everything Sacred In The Ordinary Relationship With Death Growth And Transformation

Meet your Teacher

Aspen, CO, USA

Meet your Teacher

Aspen, CO, USA

Transcript

So, As a way of introducing this topic, This book that we're sort of looking at, I want to share a little bit about how I came to this book. So when I was first introduced to the work of the dying, Working with the dying at Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco, Part of the training was based on these five precepts, Now known as the five invitations, The five precepts of caring for the dying. And we kind of, We took these precepts, Aren't like, They're not slogans, They're vows, They're a vow that you take. They're teachings to help us understand. And we can't just say them, We actually have to live into them. So the five invitations, This book that we're looking at, That was written by the founder of Zen Hospice Project, Frank Ostaseski. Ostaseski. Yes, I will, I'm gonna, I'm gonna mute you for right now because I'm in recording. So let me just do that. Anyway, So Frank Ostaseski founded Zen Hospice Project in the late 80s during the AIDS epidemic. And it was right across the street from the San Francisco Zen Center in an old Victorian. And they would take people that were outcasts. I mean, A lot of the men in San Francisco at the time was primarily men that had AIDS. They would bring them to what they called the guest house, Named after the Rumi poem, The guest house. And they would bring people there to die. And so part of this was these, These five precepts he started to develop. Well, What is this going to be? These five precepts of service, Of their, Their codes of conduct to serve the dying. And they've been translated, As I said, Into the Five Invitations, This book. And it's not just about dying. It's not about serving the dying. These practices, These precepts are, Frank described them as kind of bottomless practices that you can continually explore and deepen. They're not linear, Although they are laid out in a linear fashion in the book. They're not theories. They're not concepts. They're to be understood and realized in our own being. And what I found in these precepts, These invitations, Is I continually learned something about them. And the way that I was trained in these precepts, In this, In these invitations, And I'll use the precepts and invitations interchangeably, Is it's not according to the way that the publisher laid out the book. So I'm going to, I'm going to offer the way that I was trained to all of you. And so we're, We're not starting with the first as it's laid out in the book. We're starting actually with the third. Or I don't know, I'm sorry, The second. Which is welcome everything, Push away nothing. This was the first precept that I learned. Welcome everything, Push away nothing. Everything. Everything. And that sounds really good, Right? Welcome everything. But you know, How do you do that? How do you do that? How do we live into that? To welcome everything doesn't mean that you like it. It doesn't mean that we have to agree with what's happening. It just means that we have to welcome it. We have to be willing to meet whatever is occurring. Welcome this too. As is. The Tibetan teacher Chögyam Trungpa describes welcoming everything as a complete openness to what is. A willingness to just be with whatever is happening. To be with it. To work with it. As part of an overall process. Remember, We as human beings are in process until our last breath. Until our last breath, We're in process. So welcoming everything is asking us to have like a fearless receptivity. Just open. Openness. And fearlessness doesn't mean that we don't have fear. But we understand that fear is not the only thing in the room. We can be afraid. But the part, The part of us that knows that we're afraid, That part isn't. That part is not afraid. So fearlessness is a willingness to meet fear. Oh, I see you fear. Oh, You're here too. And uncertainty. And anger. And worry. Whatever it may be that we're meeting. Whatever it may be that we're welcoming. Whatever is arising. Welcome. And what's so beautiful about this precept is that when we welcome everything, That means that we're bringing in like everything. Bad times. Good times. They're equal. The experience is equal. To welcome everything. Frank says, Or he had said during my training, Welcoming everything asks us to not only be open, But to take risks and to forgive constantly. Because we can't, We will not do it perfectly. We will not. So the first person we need to forgive is moi. And under all of this, Under the entire, This entire precept is love. Because you know, Love is the only thing that can welcome everything. Love is the only thing that can welcome everything. Love just embraces everything it comes in contact with. Right? We know this. And yet, You know, In our culture right now in particular, Wow, There's a lot that it's hard to welcome. So it, The word welcome, It's confronting. But it asks us to temporarily suspend our habitual, Usual rush to making a judgment and just be simply open to what's happening. Oh, This is what's happening. Oh wow, And my body in response to what what's happening is really contracted. And oh wow, Underneath that is an intense sadness. Oh my god, How sad things are, Right? It's scary. Welcome. Welcome fear. Welcome uncertainty. Welcome sadness. A lot of options once the welcoming is happening, Right? There's more options. So part of this exploration, And starting with this precept, I'm so glad that that's how I learned. Because it takes something to welcome. We're learning to cultivate this stronger sense of awareness. Because awareness, It doesn't push away anything. It's just aware. Awareness doesn't push away anything. So the second part of the precept is welcome everything, Push away nothing. What pushes away nothing? Awareness. When you have anger arising, You can say, I am so angry right now. Like you can feel anger, Right? But the part of the body, The mind, The awareness that knows anger isn't anger. It just knows anger. As sensation, As heat, As contraction, As reactivity. Awareness includes it all, Welcomes it all. And with awareness, There's just greater expansiveness and capacity for all of us. Because whatever we give space to, Whatever we give space to in the body, In the mind, It can move. But we have to give space. It can move, It can show itself, And then it can move on. It can unfold or reveal more. And this precept, Welcome everything, Push away nothing, Is to discover that. So my intention in this investigation is that this will be relevant in your life, In the life that you're living. It's a tuning, And I invited you to do this last week, And I'm wondering if some of you did. And we can talk about that during the discussion. A tuning to the sacred in the ordinary. The sacred in the ordinary. It's the poem that Julie read. The sacred isn't something separate, Or something different, Or something out there. The sacred is hidden in the ordinary, In the everyday, In the light, In the clouds, In the songs of the birds, In children running through yards, In people holding hands and expressing love. The sacred is the person who holds the door open for you. The sacred in the ordinary. It's hidden, And it's sacred. John O'Donohue, The poet, Said, We're so busy managing our experiences that we forget this great mystery we're involved with. We forget this great mystery that we're involved with. We spend so many moments managing our lives trying to get somewhere, Trying to move through things that are difficult, Pursuing something. Something that we have in our mind is going to be much better than what we have right now. But when we can stop and just be in the mystery, And find in the day, Every day, Where is the sacred in this ordinary? It's a wonderful habit to begin training the mind in. So part of the creation of these precepts is really to meet death and dying. And I would like to suggest that loss, Death, And dying is happening all the time within us. Every exhale is a death. Every inhale is a beginning. That's happening all the time within us all day long. And what's interesting as we explore this, Because we will be touching in and out of death, But I also want to really focus on everyday losses, Everyday grief, Everyday sorrow. There's the big, The big truths, The big t's, And the little t's. I think Brian was talking about that yesterday in our zoom group. In this culture, Death and dying, Or any of this, The areas that we're actually willingly exploring are viewed as kind of, But death and dying in particular, It's kind of like we see it as making the best of a bad situation. And most of the time, People are not accompanied in the ways that are supportive. But what can happen, And what some of us are even seeing with some friends in our community, Is that when people are well accompanied in their dying process, It can be a time of growth and transformation. Not only for the person that is in the bed, That is leaving this, Transitioning out of this life, But the people that are all around them. Dying is not predominantly a medical event. It's not. We need the best of medicine when we're in that process. But it's not predominantly a medical event. It's about relationships. It's about the relationship that we have with the people that we love. It's about the relationship that we have to dying itself, With our, With what we believe is God, Or nature. However, We name the kindnesses of the world, However we name it, It's about relationship. Welcoming everything is not an act of will. It's an act of love. And so we keep attuning to love. So for those on Zoom, I invite you to take out a piece of paper. And for those in person, Go ahead and grab your paper because I have some reflection questions for you. These will not go beyond this room, Or they can enter into your journal, However you want to use this time for yourself. There's paper here and pens. There are books on the bookshelf behind you if you need to grab a book to use as kind of a stabilizing force. So the first question. Take a breath. Remember that you're in this body. So just attune to your body for just a minute because I I notice how everyone gets ready with their pen. And it's like, Oh did you what did you leave already? It's okay. We all do this. It's totally fine. But let's come back to the body. Back to the body. And then with a deep breath, Arrive again. Maybe even letting your eyes close and hearing the question. What are you pushing away at this moment in your life? What are you not allowing in? What are you pushing away at this moment in your life? And remember this is for you. It's not for anybody else. So you write as freely and honestly. Tell the truth to yourself, Brothers and sisters. That's the only way. It's the only way. When you're finished writing, Go ahead and just close your eyes and put your pens at rest so that I know that you're ready for the next question. So the next inquiry, And this is again a practice of honesty. What is your tolerance for the unknown? What is your tolerance for it? If you want to put it on a scale, You can. From one being, I am completely open and just roll with everything. And five is, I can't stand not knowing. That could be the way that you frame it or just be honest with yourself. And and it's again, This is for you. You don't have to share it with anyone. You don't have to speak it. You're not going to be on the spot. This is an honesty practice. What is your tolerance for the unknown? What is your tolerance for the unknown? What is your tolerance for the unknown? What is your tolerance for the unknown? And if maybe, Maybe you haven't. Maybe you haven't. I haven't stopped worrying about any of them. And that's again, This is for you. What self-image have you stopped? What have you let go of? Or what, Maybe better, What are you intending? What self-image no longer serves? You're like, You know what, This is just BS. I'm no longer interested in holding on to this, Right? What are you? And then again, What self-image have you stopped worrying about in your life? Yeah, And you said, What are you intending? Or, Like if you have, Let's, If you've already let go of some self-image, Yeah, If you have some intention, Write that down. Intent, Intention, Intention. And the last question, Once you get that one down, Give you a minute on that. So what I learned in my, My service with the dying, Is that only two questions matter at the end of life. Am I loved and did I love well? Am I loved and did I love well? How might you respond to those questions right now?