Experiencing life as it is.
So what if for the next half hour you just let go of all resistance?
If everything just as it is,
Is acceptable?
One of the things we're doing is reminding ourselves that whether or not we like what's going on,
We're not the boss of the world and we don't get to control it.
We do have some ways to work with it and to gather together with others and to work for the kind of world that we want to have.
So we're not hopeless in that sense.
Right now in this moment,
The world is the way it is.
And could I allow that to be?
I think most of us could recognize that when we don't,
We suffer.
We have trouble staying in the present moment because we're off somewhere,
We're trying to visualize what could happen or we might be in catastrophic thinking.
The world is not okay as it is.
It's not okay with me that the world is as it is.
So let's try this affirmation or this reverse inquiry.
I am here in this moment.
I can allow myself to be present with what is.
And notice your response to that.
You might have response in your body,
Thoughts,
But I allow life to be exactly as it is.
Take some breaths,
Notice your body and let your body be supported.
One thing that happens often when we're looking at life as it is,
It's pretty big.
But we could look at our immediate surroundings right now as you look around.
Does it feel like you're pretty certain that your body will be safe as you're doing this?
And notice the cues of safety that might be in your room.
It's cold outside,
But I'm not cold.
So notice how you're reading the situation.
A lot of times when we're reluctant to let life be as it is,
It's because we feel scared or there's some kind of danger.
Settle into that for a moment.
Life is this way and I'm gonna practice being okay with that.
And you might notice that your body is softening a little.
You might have a lot of thoughts in your mind,
Maybe not as much.
We're gonna do some experiments,
I suppose you could say,
Some visualizations,
Some thought experiments.
So if you were to envision yourself as a river,
Rivers flow effortlessly.
They go around any obstructions.
Bring to mind a river with rocks and different obstacles in the river.
Imagine that you're the water,
Not the rock.
When we think about life,
Life is flowing,
Life is happening as it is.
And we have some opinions about that.
We don't like that often.
So just as a visual experiment,
I'm the water,
I'm the river.
I'm not the rock,
I'm not the tangle of brush that's hanging on in the corner of the river there with the current bashing against the rock or against that wood.
I'm the river,
I'm the water.
I can move easily around the obstructions,
Around the water.
The water goes around the rocks,
It flows through and around.
I accept life as it is.
We're gonna keep coming back to that.
So the river accepts the pathway that it's given.
It accepts the obstacles that are there.
Well,
If I'm the river,
I accept life as it is.
And when we say something like that,
We often have an argument that comes up.
Might be a tightening in our body or we hold our breath.
It might be a thought.
That's okay for the river,
But this is not acceptable.
It's not okay.
We're really trying to notice what is our experience when we imagine that we're just flowing.
What is it that's troubling us?
A lot of times we get really engaged with why is that rock here?
Why are we stuck?
And what are we clinging to?
What can't we let go of?
Let yourself experience that flow.
Notice if there's any fear here.
Sometimes when you think of a flowing river,
It feels like,
Oh,
That's too fast.
I've had some really fast,
Powerful rivers that I've lived near,
And I've had some quiet,
Meandering ones.
And the quiet ones are certainly less scary.
I think we probably feel like that about life too when life is pretty calm.
Well,
Let's look at some of the rocks or some of the tangles of brush for a moment.
What is the content of your thoughts right now?
What is sticky?
I'm gonna take a few minutes with this so you could allow yourself to make a note or journal or art or sit back and let yourself reflect.
What am I having trouble with letting go?
What am I letting go of?
What is it that I'm pretty certain has to be this way or I'm not gonna be okay?
So we're bringing it from life down into my life,
In my life right now.
What am I having trouble with?
What is not okay with me?
And no shame.
Of course,
We don't like certain things.
Some things scare us.
Some things are wrong.
We have all kinds of experiences that are not acceptable.
And yet here they are.
We're not saying it's okay.
We're not saying it's a good thing or anything like that.
We're just saying this is what is.
And I'm having trouble.
I can't let that go.
It should be different.
And they get really even more specific.
So if it's fear,
If it's anger,
If it's fear,
It might be something like,
I don't think I can manage if that certain thing happens.
If it's anger or grief,
It might be something a bit different.
Are you disappointed in people?
What should be happening that's not?
What are you trying to control?
Sometimes we try to control people.
That usually doesn't really ever work out.
We might try to tamp down or not experience fear or strong emotions.
What are your obstacles?
What is it that you're having trouble letting go of?
Let's take a moment for that.
What is it?
I can't handle this.
If that happens,
No way I can't handle it.
It's a very valid feeling.
We're not judging how we feel.
We're just noticing what is it that's sticky right now.
Allow yourself to have the thoughts.
We're not bad or good because of the kind of thoughts that we have about this.
We might be suffering if we have big rocks in our river,
But we're not good or bad.
A lot of spiritual teachers will talk about witnessing or observing being the witness.
Michael Singer says,
You are the witness of your experiences,
Not the fear or the other elements of your experience.
You are the witness of your experiences.
Let's let go of the metaphor of the river for now.
Just relax,
Breathe,
Bring your awareness back into your physical body and the sense of energy and sensations.
We're going to work with this a few different ways.
So we're moving from the river into this new thought experiment or exercise.
Notice the space that your body is occupying.
If you've been working with me for a while,
That's a familiar instruction or pointer.
Notice the space that your body is occupying.
So we're noticing our physical body.
A few weeks ago,
We were working with the layers of being,
The sheaths,
Koshas,
Our physical body.
Then the next layer is the pranamaya kosha,
The layer of breath and energy.
But right now,
Notice your physical body and then the energy field.
See if you can sense into the energy in that space that your body is occupying.
And it's always helpful to work lightly with these things,
Not to get too caught up into,
I don't know what she's talking about,
Or I don't know if I can do that,
Or let it kind of drop in and don't worry too much about how it goes.
So some people are going to have a really great time with this next one about color.
Other people are just like,
That doesn't,
It's not the way my mind works.
So it's fine,
Whatever it is.
So expand your awareness now from the space that your body is occupying to the space around your body.
We can even see that.
We can open our eyes and look.
My chest is here,
And then there's empty space for about a foot and a half,
And then my computer.
I can see that I have space between my fingers and there's space in the room around me.
A little bit closer to your body,
Notice the energy of the space that's right next to your body,
Just on the outside.
Sensing the energy in the field of energy in the body and the energy around the edges of the body.
And then imagine that you're painting the space next to your body.
You could use your hand if you wanted to imagine a glow of color,
A color that you enjoy.
Filling up that empty space around your body.
Let yourself notice that.
And as you're doing that,
Just imagine the color as you're breathing in,
That color just gets more intense and it really spreads out into the space around you.
So breathe in,
Let the color spread out,
And breathe out,
Let your awareness come back into your body.
So this expansion as we breathe in,
Noticing the colors going out into space around you,
And then coming back to center and notice,
Oh,
This color,
This beautiful pink or whatever it is,
This color,
The whole of my energy field,
And I can really feel it in my body,
I can feel that I'm here.
And then letting it expand again,
Let your awareness flow out past your body and then bring it back in.
Be aware of your body again.
And if there's anything that feels uncomfortable or out of control,
Then just let yourself kind of settle again.
Here I am,
I'm present,
I'm aware of my body,
I can open my eyes at any time,
Can take a deep breath.
Now let's do something similar,
Another way of working with this.
What we're doing is noticing the energy in my body and then expanding that energy out.
And notice if anything feels kind of uncomfortable or scary or,
No,
I need to keep a grip on this,
I don't wanna go out there.
No right or wrong answer,
We're just kind of exploring.
So now without the color,
Just bring your awareness back into your body and bring your awareness back into your breath.
And now as you're breathing out,
Let your awareness leave the confines of your body and go out into the air around you a bit.
And then come back in on the exhale.
You don't have to bring the energy back,
The energy can still be kind of out there,
But just bring your awareness back,
Heart center to your body.
And then as you breathe in,
Let it flow more,
Flow away from you,
Maybe flow up through the roof into the sky.
Let yourself experience your body as something that's happening in a space and then all around you,
You can let your awareness expand into that space.
Let that roll with your breath.
Breathing out,
Letting your awareness expand farther and farther.
You might let it expand and flow down into the earth,
Through the snow,
If you have any,
And through the rocks to the center of the earth,
Where it's very solid and still.
Let your awareness be much bigger than your physical body.
And if you have any fear,
I don't know if this is okay,
Just bring yourself back,
It's okay.
Bring yourself back into awareness of your body.
Notice that you have fear if you do.
This feeling of expansion is something that you're aware of,
You're witnessing.
And some people will have a very wide expansion area,
Maybe up into the sky,
Into space even.
And other people are gonna be a little bit more localized.
Well,
I'm okay in the room that I'm in or maybe out to the street,
But I don't want to go farther.
So it's an experiment to have an experience and notice the experience at the same time.
And we're really keeping awareness of breath.
So we expand on the in-breath,
Let your energy get bigger,
Let your awareness be bigger,
And then come back in,
Anchor back into your body on the exhale.
Now let's bring our awareness back into life.
Life unfolds in ways that sometimes feel beyond our control.
So we're experimenting now.
We've had this color,
We've had the breath and the expansiveness.
We might've had some fear,
We might've shut that down,
We might've had a beautiful experience,
But now we're coming back into life.
This concept or this idea that we're playing with is that no matter what happens,
We'll be okay.
We can't win our fight with life as it is.
We can try and that creates suffering.
And we're human,
So we all want to be safe and happy.
We want people we care about to be safe and happy.
That's just a given.
We're human.
So if you're feeling any,
I'm okay with most things,
But I'm not okay with that.
Or maybe it's a little bit more general.
Yeah,
That's a good idea,
But I don't know.
That's not my experience,
But I really trust that I'll be okay.
And there's a couple of levels that that might be working on.
One is,
If you look back through your life and things that were very difficult,
Maybe you can't say I was okay because maybe there was a lot of suffering.
Our thoughts about this can be a bit different than the reality.
We did make it through and it was very difficult at times.
A lot of what happens that we're resisting,
We don't actually have any control over.
So could I use whatever kind of control that I have or agents that I have to accept this is life?
I have all these responses to life.
Just like every other human being.
And I'm not sure if I really trust that it's gonna be okay.
So one of the ways that we can work with this another way is to practice opening your heart.
And if there's fear or there's resistance or like,
No,
I'm not okay with that.
See if you could feel it in your body and let it move through.
So one of the ways is to just let it release as you exhale.
So notice that it's here when you're inhaling.
Notice specifically where it is in your body.
You might set an intention like I'm here.
I want to remain open.
I'm observing experiences as they arrive.
And right now I'm feeling fear,
Tight knot in my gut or feeling a lot of grief.
It might be,
I'm gonna really be sad if that happens and feeling that clench in your heart area.
So whatever it is you're feeling,
Just label it.
Notice it's showing up in a certain way.
There's energy,
There's thoughts.
And let yourself observe the thoughts and your feelings.
I am aware of my experience.
Who is it that's aware of your experience?
So we can come back a little bit,
Take a step back and observe,
Witness.
This is the experience I'm having right now.
I'm thinking about things that I can't accept.
I'm feeling the energy of that or the sensations of that in my body.
I'm having thoughts about it.
And I'm going to try just as an experiment,
Just kind of leaning back and letting it be here.
Let your body soften.
I am not my fear.
I am the one who sees it,
Who witnesses it.
Take that step back.
Sometimes it's helpful to see fear as like a dark cloud,
For instance.
And just like when we were doing that expansiveness before the colors,
Let it dissipate.
As something that's very clenched and dark takes up more space,
Like smoke coming up from a campfire or something,
It just kind of goes off into the air and the breeze might take it a little bit and move it around.
It's not as solid as it was before.
So let it dissipate.
Let it move away naturally.
You don't have to hold onto this.
You don't have to make it go.
You're just practicing.
Breathe out,
Let your body relax and let that fear or those emotions move on.
Right now,
I'm okay.
I'm doing a practice.
I'm safe.
That thing that I've been thinking about isn't actually happening in this moment in time.
It might be happening generally in my life,
But right now I'm doing a practice.
Let yourself feel that.
Imagine your breath blowing out.
Let it sit.
Imagine yourself relaxing your body.
Let your body release.
Fear is just energy passing through.
I don't need to hold onto it.
Same with anger,
Sadness,
Resistance.
It's energy passing through.
And if one of those practices was helpful,
Let yourself go into that expansiveness or paint it with colors or let yourself breathe.
That helps us to trust ourselves.
Part of the problem when life gets really intense is that we're scared we're gonna be taken over,
That we're not gonna be able to handle things.
So coming back again and again,
Even when we're moving into the expansiveness to remember on each out breath that here I am in my body.
Anytime I want,
I can open my eyes.
I can look around.
If it's a sticky thought,
I can work with it.
I can make a note of that.
I can continue with that.
So let's conclude this practice now.
Just rest in stillness for a moment.
Sense your body and the space around your body again.
When you're ready to open your eyes,
You could do that,
Move your head,
Look around.
The benefit of a practice like this and to do the practice over and over and over again,
I'm not gonna convince my whole system that fear is okay or that I can be okay no matter what happens.
That's not a one and done.
But the benefit is to see what is it that I'm holding on to and to work with that.
To acknowledge that what is happening in us in terms of fear or resistance or anything like that is human,
That's how we all approach life.
And it creates a lot of suffering.
And to the extent that we could let things be as they are,
We'll experience less suffering.
The other real benefit of a practice like this is we can really see what's happening in our nervous system.
Do I go into a fight response with life?
Do I numb out and give up?
Do I disappear in some way?
What are my thoughts about this?
But the thing about life is that it's never going to be what we want it to be.
We might have moments of that where it's like,
Wow,
I feel so blessed.
I was out walking with my dog in the sunshine.
It's cold,
But it's sunny and warm.
And she was having such a great time this morning.
And I was just feeling like life is okay right now.
And it's easier to feel like life is okay right now when things are going well.
And then when things are harder,
We naturally want it to be different.
These practices are about letting go of that unrealistic expectation.
These quotes are from Michael Singer.
The problem isn't the fear,
It's the way we identify with the fear.
The practice of observing it,
Witnessing it,
Staying present in our adult self in this moment in time,
That's the key to being able to observe it.
Let go of the part of you that believes you need to protect yourself.
Isn't that interesting?
Let's just sit with that for a minute.
What part of you believes that you need to protect yourself?
And it's something to do with our nervous system.
It's very likely something to do with our younger self.
Doesn't make sense in a way,
Because if we look at right now,
If you're looking around the space you're in,
There's no danger there.
There's nothing that's wrong.
And yet that's how we work as human beings.
We want things to be in a certain way,
And when they're not,
Or when we think they might not be,
We're afraid that we're not gonna be able to handle it.
Increasing our resources through nervous system regulation is helpful.
It's acknowledging that,
Of course,
We don't want bad things to happen to people.
We don't want someone to get sick or to die.
And yet here we are in a world that's not really safe,
And a lot of the people around us are not regulated,
They're not kind,
And sometimes we're not kind to ourselves either.
How can we work with life more skillfully,
Certainly with the kindness,
To just really allow ourselves to be as human as we are,
