Breaking the cycle from when to now by Max Ryan.
One of the most enticing lines of poetry I've ever encountered is something I've carried with me for many years.
It was around two decades ago that the realization of that line struck me like a bolt of lightning,
Illuminating the depths of understanding within me.
Do you recall a moment like that?
A moment when insight just rushed in like a tidal wave and you couldn't help but exclaim,
Oh my God,
I get it.
Well,
The source of this profound line for me,
Which I love so much,
Is from the celebrated poet Gertrude Stein.
If her name doesn't ring a bell,
I implore you to explore her work.
Likewise,
Let's not forget the ever-inspiring Walt Whitman,
Who also holds a special place in my heart.
The line of Gertrude Stein's I'm referring to is a stark and provocative one.
There is no there,
There.
You've probably heard of this line or this concept before.
It's not uncommon for people to grasp this intellectually.
In fact,
The human intellect can wrap itself around an array of ideas almost like a masterful contortionist.
Yet,
When confronted with the truth that there is no there,
There,
It rattles the very foundations of our separated selves,
Our egos,
Those finely crafted characters we've been creating and nurturing our whole lives.
So let's take some time to delve into this idea and let's just see where it takes us.
This principle,
When broken down,
Reveals a startling revelation about the way we traverse through life.
A common belief instilled within us is that we're constantly moving towards a destination,
Our aspirations,
Our goals,
And our dreams.
The when factor plays a crucial role here.
Think about it.
You've likely spent a substantial portion of your life anticipating that magical moment when you'll achieve success,
Happiness,
Or even that ideal weight.
But what if I told you that this pursuit is a clever ploy of the ego?
It's a delay tactic that keeps you perpetually in search mode.
Consider the compelling allure of when.
When I shed those extra pounds.
When I find peace.
When I have spiritual awakening.
When others finally get me.
These whens lead us down a labyrinthine path of deferred fulfillment.
Which when has had you in its grasp?
We say that again.
Which when has had you in its grasp?
Is it the pursuit of your ideal weight?
The quest for inner peace?
The finally getting financially free?
Or the desire for that transformative spiritual awakening?
What is a big one for you?
You see,
The ego feeds on this continuous yearning for a future state of existence.
It thrives on the illusion that happiness,
Contentment,
And fulfillment are always just around the corner.
But it's a never-ending chase.
A perpetual cycle of postponing your innate joy.
This is what's called delayed gratification,
Of course.
And in essence,
Delayed gratification hinges on the notion that happiness,
Contentment,
And fulfillment are conditional states.
A mindset that perpetuates the belief that they can only be experienced after a series of predefined achievements.
This perspective unwittingly protects joy,
Peace,
Happiness,
And ultimately freedom into some distant horizon,
Leaving us perpetually suspended between the anticipation of future rewards and the void of unfulfilled desires.
Sounds fun,
Huh?
But the truth is that most people walk around their lives in delayed gratification.
All the time.
What a shame.
One way to start to scratch the surface of this predicament that the ego has set us up in is to see if you can begin to let go even the slightest bit of the whole when concept.
The truth is that the past and the future are mere constructs.
They are ephemeral wisps compared to the vivid reality of what is now.
This very moment,
As you read these words,
Is all there truly is.
Every other story about the future or the past,
Whether good or bad,
Is just that,
A story.
It is not the truth.
Have you ever seen those watches that,
In the place of the numbers,
Just has the word now repeated 12 times around the face?
It's a constant reminder that every tick of the clock is an opportunity to embrace this fleeting is-ness.
That's right,
I said this fleeting is-ness.
The key lies not in attempting to become present and content through sheer effort,
But in recognizing that presence and contentment are innate qualities,
Effortlessly accessible in each breath you take.
As I always say,
You cannot not be in the present.
It takes no real effort to see and experience what is already here.
There's a captivating principle at play here,
One that great minds of our time have explored,
Including Gertrude Stein herself.
The idea that there is no there there is a revelation that sets you free from the illusion of destination,
Inviting you to fully inhabit the richness of each passing moment.
It's about untethering yourself from the notion that external achievements or circumstances hold the key to your happiness.
I know that all this might sound trite or even obvious,
Of course,
But you'd be surprised how many times the stubborn,
Separated self needs to hear what is so obvious until something shifts.
Let's use an analogy.
Let's consider a flower.
Exquisite,
Delicate,
Ever-evolving.
My personal favorite flowers are white roses.
The simplicity and elegance always makes me pause.
Think about your favorite flower.
A flower doesn't fixate on the future state of its being as a perfect one.
Yet every flower is perfect at every stage.
It simply unfurls,
Embracing growth and transformation,
Gracefully blooms anew,
And then moves into its next incarnation.
In much the same way,
We can liberate ourselves from the confines of the ego's delayed gratification tactus and relish the beauty of now.
Even in this analogy,
Your ego may be saying,
Of course there is a there with a flower.
It is when the bloom is in perfection.
I would propose that that is a myopic way of seeing and proves the point of no there there.
Embracing the wisdom of there is no there there is about an orientation to life that is always in process and moving beyond the individual accomplishments as they invariably happen.
It enables us to break free from the shackles of perpetual longing and shift our focus to the process and always to what is,
The isness of the is.
It always allows us to break the cycle of unfulfilling searching and to recognize the true empowerment springs from acceptance.
The truth is that you are complete,
Whole,
And worthy in this very moment,
Even if your goals aren't achieved.
The pursuit of happiness and fulfillment need not be an eternal quest.
You can choose to reject that idea right now and decide that freedom is more important than anything and that it is intrinsic to the state that you can tap into whenever you choose.
Whenever you're delaying your freedom and peace for another time,
You're falling back into the quest mindset and will continue to,
For lack of a better word,
You will suffer.
Take a moment right now to reflect on the questions that have been raised so far.
Are you prepared to begin to dismantle the illusion of there and start to embrace the reality of here or isness?
Can you release the notion that happiness and freedom lies in a future state instead of immersing yourself in the boundless possibilities of what is?
You see,
I firmly believe that contemplating these questions,
You can start to embark on the road of real transformation towards freedom.
One that aligns you with a profound truth that you,
Others,
And the world are enough right here,
Right now.
Let's look at that flower or rose analogy once more.
The only way that a flower can bloom is that the conditions of the present need to be aligned meticulously either by us or by nature.
The soil needs to be the right composition.
The light needs to be just right.
The water has to be regulated perfectly.
The pruning needs to be carefully crafted.
And much more to the point is that all these elements are not happening somewhere in the future.
They have to be tended to in the present.
In a way,
The blooming of the flower is a story,
Of course.
But it's somewhere in the future.
But the story will not unfold unless there is a real lived sense of what is right now.
The isness of the isness.
Finally,
I just want to say that practically speaking,
Living a life that is consistently focused on the future really sucks.
The fact is that all the time you're waiting for the thing to happen,
You are missing out on all that is here right now.
And in my opinion,
That's just no way to live a real life.
You can take all we've talked about just to make your time here richer and the experience more peaceful.
And that's extremely valuable in and of itself.
You can also take what we've talked about and begin to let this concept truly sink into the furthest reaches of your consciousness until the story of the self really truly begins to fade and true freedom begins to blossom within.
Now,
One is not better than the other,
But neither will happen if the now continues to be ignored for the focus on the future.
