There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from explaining yourself,
Explaining why you need to rest,
Explaining why something no longer works,
Explaining why you changed your mind.
I used to explain myself a lot and I didn't realize how much energy this took until I started letting it go.
It was because somebody said,
You don't have to explain yourself to me.
It gave me pause.
For a long time,
I believed that if I could just explain myself clearly enough,
People would understand and things would be easier.
But what I've really learned is this,
Clarity does not always create agreement and an explanation does not always create safety.
Sometimes it's only to keep us tethered to other people's expectations.
As I said,
I see this in my own life.
There were choices that I've made that felt deeply right in my body and I still found myself rehearsing explanations or excuses in my head.
Not to communicate,
But to defend,
To defend myself.
This pattern runs deep for a lot of us and if it sounds familiar for you,
Just let me know in the comments.
But here is the shift that changed things for me.
I started asking myself,
Am I explaining to connect or am I explaining to be approved of?
As I mentioned,
This came up when somebody said to me I didn't have to explain myself.
Asking myself that question revealed a lot.
When we trust ourselves,
We don't need everybody to understand.
We can still be kind.
We can still be clear.
We stop over explaining in the hopes of earning permission to live our own lives.
Letting go of explanations does not mean becoming cold or dismissive.
It means honoring your inner authority.
It means honoring your boundaries.
It means trusting that your needs are valid even when they aren't convenient for somebody else.
That your timing is allowed to be your own and your boundaries don't require a footnote.
For me,
Releasing this habit was like reclaiming energy I did not realize I was giving away.
Energy that now gets to stay with me.
So I'm going to leave you with a question.
What are you still explaining that no longer needs defending?
You don't have to answer right now.
Just notice.
And if something comes up,
Let me know in the comments.
Awareness that we're doing it is very often the first wave of releasing it.
You don't owe the world a version of yourself that makes sense to everybody.
You owe yourself honesty.
And sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.
