Welcome,
I'm Heidi,
And this meditation is about letting go and being safely held.
At times in life,
I find myself wanting to grasp and control,
Thinking I can magically keep the storms at bay.
White knuckling the wheel,
Linely thinking I know the way.
Exhausting my energy to the point the storms wipe me out versus me safely riding the storms out.
Our minds like no one's and therefore letting go can be difficult.
As it leaves open the unknown,
It means trusting in greater than ourselves.
In the unknown is where we can find peace,
Guidance,
And the path our souls desire.
As we get started here,
Realize there's nothing as perfection in these steps going forward.
And if you wish,
I invite you to grab anything you need to feel safe and comfortable,
Like a blanket,
Treasured jewelry,
Maybe a candle or your favorite scent.
All right,
Let's get started.
Placing your hands in your lap as you're comfortable,
And closing your eyes or resting them with a soft gaze if you prefer.
And start settling in to your body,
Into your breath,
And bringing awareness to your mind's eye or your imagination.
Imagine yourself on a beach where there's water beyond the horizon,
Warm sand under your feet,
Feeling the hot sun on your face.
As you stand just where the water and the sand meet,
I invite you to take some gentle cleansing breaths.
On the inhale,
Imagine the water touching your feet,
Cleansing up through your feet,
Through your legs,
Your torso,
And your head.
As it swirls around,
On the exhale,
Imagine this water leaving you through your feet,
Down into this body of water,
Taking all the gunk with it.
And again,
Inhale,
Imagining this water cleansing up through your body.
And exhale as this water and all the gunk leaves back out into the body of water.
And if you wish,
One more time,
Inhaling,
Cleansing up through your body,
And exhaling,
Watching it all leave,
Anything that no longer serves.
Release.
And as you look out,
You notice a boat out on that water,
As it starts coming towards you at shore.
And climb into this boat as it arrives,
Noticing this boat is like you,
And the water that it's in.
Holding this boat is the universe,
Source.
As you're in the boat,
Observe how this water supports you,
Supports this boat.
Boats don't fight the water to float,
They're designed to be held by the water.
As this boat starts going through the water,
You notice it getting rougher,
And the boat is getting harder to steer.
As you try to grab hold of the wheel,
What do you notice?
How much energy does it take to move this wheel through these rough waters?
Maybe with thoughts such as,
I have to figure this out,
Or I can't trust anyone to get this right,
Or if I let go,
Everything falls apart.
Notice the pressure on yourself,
This resistance to let go.
Are you with the waves?
Are you fighting against the waves?
Let's take a closer look at this energy.
Place the wheel in a bubble as a container to observe.
What do you notice?
The texture,
The colors,
Could be in or around this wheel that's in a bubble.
Does it feel stiff?
Does it feel gummy and sticky?
Prickly?
Let's check in on your breath here.
Maybe there's some energy of control as you look at this wheel.
And as some of that starts to melt underneath,
What else do you notice?
What else is steering this wheel?
Maybe there's this working harder is what makes me worthy.
Let that melt.
Or maybe there's some belief of letting go means I gave up.
Let that melt.
Or maybe there's,
If I rest in the unknown,
Then I'm just drifting,
I'm not staying the course.
Let that melt.
Or maybe there's something else that comes up specific for you.
Let it melt.
There's no need to fix anything.
I'm just observing,
Allowing it to move.
Have you ever noticed how exhausting it is to wrestle this wheel?
But the key is water itself isn't the enemy.
Boats don't fight water to float.
They're designed to be held by it.
Just like you,
You were designed to be held by the universe.
Invite you to pop this bubble with the wheel.
Let it dissolve.
Back down into the body of water.
Let the universe take it.
And notice the boat no longer has a wheel.
As you're lying in this boat and closing your eyes,
You can feel the sun.
You can feel the warmth again.
Feeling the movement of the rocking of the boat as the boat is carried by the waves.
Like a hammock rocking back and forth.
How the waves feel more like a gentle hug.
Notice how much energy you need to move this boat,
If any.
This water is guiding you.
As you let go of this wheel,
The boat and the waves move together.
As they sink in harmony,
Like a gentle hug,
Rocking back and forth.
Feeling the waves holding,
Supporting,
And hugging the boat with love.
Just as the universe holds you.
You may feel a stillness,
A peacefulness,
A quietness.
And as you look up,
You can see the boat is approaching shore.
Right on your path of where you need to be.
And as you come back,
Notice if there's one place in your life where you need to be.
Where the water might be trying to carry you right now.
And take a breath.
And can you let yourself be held and carried?
You can start to wiggle your fingers and toes and come back and stretch.
Be a deep yawn.
Some amazing work you've done here.
You just felt what it's like to be carried and that's always available to you.
Not just here,
But in the middle of the rough water too.
When this grip comes back,
As it will,
You now know fighting the wheel was never what was keeping you safe.
You're being held the whole time.
And thank you for joining me.
Take care.
