When you live with chronic illness,
Chronic pain or chronic fatigue,
It can feel like your whole life has been taken over.
You wake up exhausted.
With symptoms that shift but never seem to end.
You try diets,
Protocols,
Supplements,
Treatments.
Some help for a while.
Others don't help at all,
And some even seem to make things worse.
And eventually,
You start to wonder,
Is there really a way forward?
I know that place very well.
More than 20 years ago,
I faced an illness that completely changed my life.
Conventional medicine couldn't really help me.
So I had to take full responsibility for my recovery.
Over time,
I began shaping my own approach to healing.
A system based on 8 essential aspects of life.
This system,
Which I now call the healing wheel,
Became truly life-changing for me.
So whether you're living through something similar or simply looking to improve your physical,
Mental or emotional well-being,
Stay with me.
What I'm about to share might help you see healing in a whole new light and remind you that you're not alone.
And even though I'll mainly speak about health today,
Everything I share here reaches far beyond it.
Into your relationships,
Your work,
Your purpose and the way you create your life as a whole.
I'm Ilana and through Metamood I explore the invisible laws that shape reality and well-being and how we can return to harmony through truth,
Purpose,
Beauty and awareness.
My path has been one of learning directly through experience,
Through my body.
Because again and again,
Life has spoken to me through symptoms.
Today,
Many people know me as a facilitator of LILA,
The ancient game of self-knowledge that always brings us back to our truth.
The more I facilitate it,
The more fascinated I become.
Because it's ancient wisdom,
Which I discovered during the pandemic.
Reflects so much of what I had already lived and learned on my own healing path.
And if you've never played Lila,
I truly recommend it.
It's a practice that can open surprising doors within yourself.
But before the games,
The retreats and the workshops,
There was this.
My own journey of illness collapsed.
And the small daily choices that slowly became recovery.
It all began with Lyme disease,
Which caught me completely off guard during my year abroad in China when I was only 21.
Just a year later,
Before I had received any treatment,
I was also hit with Epstein-Barr virus.
As both Lyme and EBV became chronic,
My life started to feel like a nightmare.
Or so I thought at the time,
In truth.
It was the beginning of a deeper journey back to myself.
One that would later help me understand others' pain and guide them through their own.
In the years that followed,
I built a meaningful career in journalism.
Fast-paced.
Demanding and full of purpose.
But that same drive eventually led me into burnout.
Another kind of collapse and another invitation to slow down and listen.
Later,
Waves of long COVID deepened that lesson even further.
And what did all of this teach me?
That the details may differ,
But the journey is often the same.
Fibromyalgia,
IBS,
Mold toxicity,
Autoimmune diseases,
Migraines.
Panic attacks,
Chronic fatigue,
Long COVID.
The names may vary,
But the message beneath them never changes.
And soon,
You'll see why.
But before we go any further,
You might want to grab a notebook or a piece of paper.
Because as we move through this journey,
You may feel.
.
.
Certain words or insights resonate with your own story.
Writing them down can help you remember what stands out for you.
Before we dive into the healing wheel,
The eight keys that shape our recovery Let's go back to where this way of healing was born.
You try diet after diet,
Treatment after treatment and still wake up with symptoms that ebb and flow but never quite disappear.
And at some point,
You realize there are two paths.
One is to keep searching for answers outside yourself.
Another doctor,
Another supplement,
Another protocol that promises to fix you.
The problem with this approach is that most of these solutions offer medicine for a symptom,
Not for a person.
And we're all different.
Our bodies,
Our histories,
Our families.
Our habits,
The experiences we've lived through.
The other path is to turn inward.
To listen,
To reconnect.
To realize that no matter how much support you receive,
You are the one living inside your body.
Only you can truly hear what it's asking for.
If you're watching this,
I imagine you're already on this second pass.
Or at least beginning to look in that direction.
And yes,
It's not the easiest one.
But it's the one that truly heals,
The one that leads you home.
Over time,
I discovered something that changed everything.
My body wasn't my enemy,
It was my teacher.
Each symptom,
Each flare-up was life itself inviting me to look deeper.
To realign how I was living,
Thinking,
Making choices and caring for myself.
Healing stopped being about fixing.
It became about creating balance in body,
Mind,
Emotions and spirit.
And when I began to live this way,
My body responded,
Energy returned.
Clarity came back.
And life started to flow again.
That's how the healing wheel with its eight spokes was born.
Not from theory or trends,
But from years of lived experience.
Eight keys that help you rebuild your energy,
Reconnect with your body,
And remember who you are beneath the noise.
And today,
I want to share them with you.
So why do I call it a wheel?
Because healing isn't a straight line.
It's a journey.
A will moves us forward step by step at our own pace.
And healing is exactly like that.
Some days you move quickly,
Other days it feels like you're barely moving at all.
But as long as the wheel keeps turning,
You're still on your path.
Even the smallest steps,
A pause,
A breath.
A moment of honesty and still movement forward.
A wheel is also about balance.
If one's spoke is missing or broken,
The whole ride becomes rough.
And in the same way,
When we focus only on one aspect of health,
Just on food,
Or only on treatments,
Or only on mindset.
Something always feels off.
Healing requires balance across many parts of life.
All working together.
Take a moment to reflect.
Is there one area you've been giving all your attention to while quietly overlooking another that needs your care?
And finally,
A wheel is about direction.
Energy can be scattered everywhere,
Or it can be focused.
Healing asks us to guide that energy toward what nourishes us,
Not what drains us.
So the wheel reminds us,
You are on a journey,
You are moving forward,
You decide your direction,
And you can create balance as you go.
That's the essence of the healing wheel.
Eight keys that help us move from survival to recovery,
From fragmentation to wholeness.
I'll keep today's overview simple,
Just enough to give you a sense of each spoke and how it fits into the whole.
Later we may go deeper into some of them together,
But for now let's begin with the first one.
When illness strikes or when something in us stops working the way it used to,
Whether in body,
Mind,
Or heart.
Most of us fall into the same storm.
Anger,
Frustration,
Despair.
Why me?
We ask.
We look for someone to blame,
Or someone to save us,
Doctors,
Family,
Life itself.
And that's natural.
But staying in that story keeps us powerless.
And healing simply cannot unfold while we remain in the role of the victim.
The victim mindset quietly convinces us that everything in our life is shaped by forces outside our control.
The past,
The family we were born into,
The system,
Destiny.
It whispers that change is impossible because this is just how things are.
And if that's true,
Why even try?
That's the subtle trap of victimhood.
It gives us the illusion of innocence,
But it also takes away our power to act.
And when we believe nothing depends on us,
We stop moving.
And the pain deepens.
So what's the alternative?
Responsibility.
And let's be clear,
Responsibility is not guilt.
It doesn't mean you failed or that you deserve punishment.
Responsibility is the opposite of the childlike state where everything is decided for me.
It's the moment you remember your creative power.
It means recognizing that your thoughts,
Choices,
And patterns have helped shape where you are today.
And while you didn't consciously choose illness,
You can choose your response.
You can choose your story.
Your next step.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself.
What would it mean if I took back the pen and became the author of my healing and of my life?
Even just considering that can begin to shift your energy.
Something changes the moment you take the reins back into your hands.
This shift transformed everything for me.
For years I waited for a solution to come from others,
Until one day I realized that no one else was truly responsible for my life.
Slowly,
I began to listen to myself.
Through books on self-healing,
Through teachings about how we shape our reality.
And through an incredible Ayurvedic doctor from India.
Whose words still echo in me.
You created this situation.
You also have the power to change it.
His guidance was simple.
Gentle routines,
Simple foods,
And most importantly,
A new way of thinking.
And as I took those small steps,
Something extraordinary happened.
Life responded.
The right specialist in chronic Lyme disease appeared.
Doors open.
Help arrives.
That's the power of stepping into creator energy.
The moment you stop blaming and waiting,
You'll free the energy locked in resentment and make it available for healing.
Illness transforms from an enemy into a messenger.
And the Universe begins to collaborate with you.
So if you turned inward right now and ask,
What can I do today?
To feel better.
What would you say?
When we don't feel well in body or mind,
When life slows us down through illness,
Burnout or emotional pain,
Our first instinct is often to fight.
We fight the fatigue,
The pain,
The brain fog,
As if there were enemies to defeat.
We even use warlike language,
Battle disease,
Fight cancer,
Beat the odds.
But here is the truth.
Fighting illness is fighting your own body and your body is not the enemy.
Healing doesn't come from war,
It comes from flow.
Nature shows us this everywhere.
A tree that cannot bend in the wind.
Will break.
A river doesn't force its way forward.
It flows around obstacles,
Steady,
Flexible,
Alive.
Yet we demand of ourselves constant productivity,
Constant perfection.
We push.
We pretend.
We resist.
And in doing so,
We burn through the very energy we need to heal.
There is a line from Carl Jung that I often come back to.
You become what you fight.
And it's true.
When all our attention is spent on resisting something,
Whether it's illness or anything else,
We only feed it more energy.
Acceptance,
By contrast,
Isn't weakness,
It's strength.
It means choosing to collaborate with your condition.
With life.
With your body.
To stop wasting energy in resistance and instead guide it toward healing.
And let's be clear.
Acceptance doesn't mean agreement or approval.
It's simply acknowledging what is,
Without struggle,
Judgment,
Or escape.
The moment you do that,
The moment you stop fighting reality,
The energy that was trapped in denial is free.
That energy becomes available for healing,
For clarity,
For creation.
What we fight,
We feed with our energy.
But when we surrender,
Not in defeat,
But in trust,
Life begins to flow again.
My own turning point came when I realized how much energy I was losing by resisting reality.
Comparing myself to others,
And even to my own old version.
I kept asking,
Why am I not better yet?
Why can't I do what others do?
And every time I thought the truth of where I was,
My body collapsed further.
Healing began when I stopped pretending,
When I allowed myself to say,
This is where I am right now.
And even here,
I'm enough.
And from that honesty,
Something extraordinary happens.
Life itself begins to support us.
Opportunities,
Synchronicities,
Teachers,
Doctors,
And allies appear in ways we could never have forced.
What if you stop fighting for just a moment?
Soften instead.
And ask yourself What part of me is asking to be felt?
To be healed.
We're living through a shift.
Maybe you felt it too over the past few years.
For decades,
The old paradigm,
The so-called 3D reality,
Ruled by logic,
Control and fear,
Shaped how we lived and how we healed.
And for a time it worked.
It built progress,
Structure and systems that serve the purpose.
But it also taught us to override our inner voice.
To trust external authority over our own knowing.
What's emerging now asks for something different.
Listen to your truth,
Your heart,
Your intuition,
Your uniqueness.
Conventional medicine mirrors that old mind-driven paradigm.
It sees the body in parts,
Treating symptoms one by one,
Applying the same protocol to thousands of people,
Rarely asking,
Who are you?
What's your story?
What does your heart mean?
It treats symptoms instead of treating you And while that system can be life-saving in emergencies,
It often misses the deeper layers of chronic illness.
The emotional energetic and spiritual dimensions that shape our well-being.
One of the most important lessons of this new reality is that we're not the same.
And that's why listening to your own truth matters so much.
Your body,
Your history,
Your subconscious patterns,
They are as unique as your fingerprints.
Which means your healing too will be unique.
There is no universal diet,
No single practice,
No perfect routine that works for everyone.
What heals one person may not heal you.
And that's completely okay.
Your path is meant to be yours.
So instead of asking what worked for them,
Begin asking,
Does this work for me?
Does this food give me strength?
Does this practice bring me peace?
Does this treatment feel aligned with my body?
Take a quiet moment right now.
Is there something you're doing in the name of well-being that deep down doesn't feel right?
Just a gentle reminder that before turning outward for answers,
Never forget to pause and listen to yourself first.
And illness,
Whether physical or emotional.
Often arrives in the first place when we've ignored our truth for too long.
When what we feel,
Think,
Say,
And do fall out of alignment,
The body carries the cost.
Stress build.
Hormone surge,
Inflammation rises,
Immunity weakens.
Over time,
That inner split begins to speak through symptoms.
It usually begins with living by shoots.
Saying yes while your whole being says no.
Staying in jobs that quietly drain you,
Or in relationships that no longer feel alive.
Simply because they look stable.
Smiling on the outside while inside a voice whispers,
This isn't me.
Here lies the heart of healing,
Learning to listen.
Your body never lies.
It speaks through sensations,
Fatigue,
Cravings,
Emotions,
Pain.
Every signal carries a message.
The healing begins the moment you stop pretending and choose honesty.
Honesty about what hurts,
What nourishes you,
And the times you simply cannot do what others expect.
And that's okay.
So maybe ask yourself this.
What feels true for me right now?
What would change if I trusted the truth and followed where it leads?
Because the moment you do,
Something shifts.
The tension softens.
The body feels safe.
Life begins to support you.
Step by step,
You return to balance.
Not by copying someone else's path,
But by walking your own.
Healing isn't only about what we add.
It's just as much about what we release.
Over time,
We all hold on to things that once made sense,
But now,
Quietly,
Wears down.
Habits friendships objects even thought and when too much piles up,
Energy stops flowing.
Stagnation becomes blockages and blockages become symptoms.
Illness often shows up as the body's way of saying,
There is no more space.
Something has to move.
Healing begins the moment we start to clear room inside and around us so life can flow again.
That might mean decluttering your home.
Shifting your diet or setting new boundaries in relationships.
Each release creates space for something in life to take its place.
And sometimes what needs clearing goes even deeper into the invisible programs we carry within.
Old patterns,
Inherited beliefs even ancestral memories that whisper.
It's not safe to be happy.
Success brings loss.
If I heal,
I lose love.
These quiet imprints shape how much health,
Love or joy we allow ourselves to receive.
The first step is to recognize them,
To gently bring them to light.
Once we see a pattern clearly,
We can purify it,
Release it and create space for new energy to flow.
The truth is,
You can meditate,
Go on retreats and do every practice in the world.
But if a part of you.
.
.
Still holds on to these unconscious stories,
Your body will keep holding back.
That's why true healing also means inner cleansing.
Freeing the stories that no longer belong to you.
So life can flow again.
I remember when I finally decided to take responsibility for my healing,
I began clearing in many directions at once.
Food,
Clothes,
Beliefs,
Relationships.
It wasn't easy,
But each release brought a sense of lightness,
And over time this became a habit,
A way of checking again and again.
Is my energy flowing freely or is it being weighed down?
Because the deeper you heal,
The more your body reacts to what isn't right for you.
A chaotic environment,
Empty conversations,
Being around negative people,
Even music or sense you don't like,
All of that drains you instantly.
As you heal,
Your intuition sharpens and you instinctively distance yourself from what exhausts you.
Pause and reflect for a moment.
If you clear just one thing today,
A drawer,
A thought,
A habit or a commitment,
What fresh energy might come in to take its place?
Sometimes emptiness is not emptiness at all.
Its space for new life to grow.
Healing requires energy.
But when you live with illness,
Energy often feels like the one thing you don't have.
Fatigue,
Brain fog,
Constant symptoms.
It can feel like your inner well has run dry.
And yet,
Without energy,
Healing cannot happen.
Every thought,
Every emotion,
Every choice is energy.
Long before symptoms appear in the body,
There is usually a disturbance in that flow.
That's why caring for your energy is not extra.
It's essential.
The very foundation of healing.
In fact,
In the Lila game that I facilitate,
There are three different squares dedicated only to energy.
Because how we use it determines the path that unfolds.
Ancient traditions understood this deeply.
Energy comes before matter and the body simply mirrors the state of that inner current There are two parts,
Stopping the leaks and refilling the well.
Leaks happen when we say yes out of guilt.
Stay in draining conversations,
Constantly criticize ourselves.
Scroll endlessly through noise.
Or keep postponing what our heart wants to do.
Each one may seem small,
But together they leave us exhausted.
Protecting our energy sometimes means cancelling a plan.
Not picking up the phone or simply allowing yourself to pause and rest.
These moments of protection aren't weakness,
They're medicine.
The other part is refilling,
And this doesn't only mean sleep,
Though rest is vital.
It also means joy,
The moments that make you feel alive.
Sering by the C.
Laughing with a friend.
Journaling,
Listening to music you love.
Even the smallest joists restore flow and remind the body that it is safe enough to heal.
Refilling also includes gentle practices that help your energy move and settle.
Yoga and pranayama qigong meditation sound healing Choose what resonates with you.
Even a few minutes of any of these can bring your system back into balance.
And sometimes refilling means allowing yourself to receive.
A massage,
A spa treatment,
Aromatherapy.
These aren't luxuries.
They soothe the nervous system,
Release what the body has been holding,
And remind you that you're safe.
In that state of deep relaxation the body naturally begins to heal.
For me,
Learning this wasn't easy.
For years I believed I had to push no matter how I felt.
Every time I ignored my need for rest or joy,
I paid the price with flare-ups and collapse.
Slowly,
I learned to honor my energy every day,
Even in small ways.
A quiet coffee alone,
Saying no without guilt,
Choosing stillness instead of performance.
And my body always responded with relief.
Take a moment and ask yourself,
What empties you and what fills you?
Post the video if you like and make those two lists.
What would be the very first things to appear?
In my Lila sessions,
I often use this same exercise.
And here's what I've noticed.
What drains us often includes people we love.
And admitting that takes courage.
And what gives us joy is often something we simply don't allow ourselves.
Seeing this clearly is the first step toward reclaiming your energy.
Your healing for a long time this was the hardest part for me the body I was comfortable with reflection,
Intuition and inner work,
But caring for my body in a consistent,
Loving way.
Took time to learn.
I used to think healing was mostly about mindset or energy.
Now I know it's also about rhythm,
Nourishment and touch.
About learning to live gently inside our own skin.
Life itself is movement and the body was never designed to stay still.
Yet when illness comes,
Even the smallest effort can feel impossible.
We're often told,
Exercise more,
Move more,
No pain,
No gain.
But not everybody can run marathons or power through intense yoga flows.
And that's okay.
Healing doesn't come from force,
It comes from movement that feels right for your body.
Short walk.
Stretching in bed.
Breathing deeply for a few minutes.
Even the gentlest motion tells your body.
I'm alive.
I can flow again.
When I was recovering from chronic Lyme disease,
My exercise was 10 minutes of slow movement followed by rest on the floor.
For someone who used to do ballet and hike a lot,
That was humbling,
But I finally stopped comparing myself and simply listened to my body.
Each day it guided me a little further.
Food is medicine too,
But only when it's filled with warmth,
Color,
And care.
Not everybody needs the same foods,
And no diet trend knows you better than your own intuition.
Ayurveda,
One of the world's oldest holistic healing system,
Born in India,
Taught me something essential.
Not everybody needs the same nourishment.
A smoothie or a fresh salad may help one person,
But for someone with a body imbalance,
Like many people with chronic conditions,
Warm soups and cooked meals are far more healing.
But what matters most is listening.
Does this food truly nourish me or does it drain me?
And don't forget how you eat.
A simple meal eaten in peace will heal you more than perfect food swallowed in stress.
Risk is another pillar.
Without it,
No supplement or treatment can restore balance.
But it isn't always easy,
Especially when symptoms or anxiety keep us awake.
For me,
Sleep only improved when I created a calming ritual.
Healing music,
Aromatherapy and candlelight before bed.
Slowly,
My body began to trust that night meant safety.
And yes,
Hydration,
Though simple,
Truly matters.
Water is life,
A daily act of purification.
My advice is to drink warm water instead of cold.
Both in Ayurveda and traditional Chinese medicine,
Warm water is believed to support digestion,
Balance internal energy,
And help the body flush out toxins more effectively than cold water.
Caring for your body is not another task.
It's an act of love.
Every massage,
Every gentle stretch,
Every slow walk in fresh air,
Every nourishing bite says,
I'm here with you.
The body already knows how to heal,
It just needs your cooperation.
What would feel good for your body today?
Ask your body,
Not your mind.
Healing often begins in the smallest choices,
Repeated with care and love.
Healing isn't only about what happens inside your body.
It's also about who surrounds you.
The truth is,
The people around us shape our path more than we realize.
Practically everything in life flows through human connection.
Opportunities,
Insights.
Even healing itself.
The quality of our journey is deeply tied to the quality of the people we work with.
Some people lift us higher.
They see our light even when we forget it ourselves.
Others often without meaning to pull us away from our truth,
Keeping us small or unsure.
And sometimes these are the people closest to us.
Family,
Partners or friends who love us but still hold us to an old version of who we were.
That's why being mindful of the company we keep is so important.
True connection never asks us to shrink,
Hide or betray ourselves.
It allows us to stay open and close to others while remaining rooted in who we are.
Every period of struggle in body,
Mind or emotions becomes a spiritual journey,
A journey back home.
And on a journey,
Our values change.
What once mattered fades,
And new priorities rise.
Naturally we begin seeking people whose energy values and even interests align with who we are becoming for me this lesson was both painful and liberating When I became ill,
Many of the people I once called friends quietly disappeared,
While others I never expected became my true support.
Letting go hurt,
But it freed the energy I had been wasting on explanations,
Disappointments and pretending.
And that free energy became available for healing.
And also for meeting the people who resonated with the new life I was growing into.
Of course,
Self-reliance is essential.
We all need to build our own inner pillar of strength.
The first place we must learn to lean on.
But even so,
Having just one person who truly sees you Who doesn't need you to perform or explain can be medicine in itself.
See what comes up when you ask yourself.
Who truly walks with you right now?
Whose values resonate with the person you're becoming.
With whom?
Do you feel bigger,
Lighter,
More yourself?
And where do you consistently leave feeling smaller,
Drained or tense?
Because the circle you choose is not just company,
It's medicine.
Healing is also about remembering who you are.
And nothing reconnects you faster than creativity.
Not necessarily as a talent or a career,
But as the living flow of your soul.
When we were little,
That flow was natural.
We sang,
Drew,
Built,
Imagined,
Simply because it felt good.
But then,
Someone said,
You're not good at that.
Or that's not useful.
Parents,
Teachers,
Classmates,
They often meant well.
But they're words.
Plant it down.
Maybe we were pushed to do things we didn't enjoy.
Or told to be someone we weren't.
Bit by bit,
We stopped listening to our inner voice and started shaping ourselves to fit what was logical,
Acceptable or praised.
Performing for approval,
Success or safety instead of joy.
And that's often where the first split appears between who we are and who we think we should be.
When we silence what wants to move through us,
That energy doesn't vanish,
It turns inward.
Becomes tension,
Fatigue,
Anxiety,
Sometimes even illness.
The body begins to carry the weight of all the songs never sung.
The truth never spoken.
The dreams we left behind.
But the moment we express again,
Paint.
Write.
Sing.
Dance.
Cook.
Garden,
Build,
Dream,
Energy starts to move.
And where energy flows,
The body heals.
Every challenge in hell for life strips away what isn't real and invites us to rediscover what truly matters.
And this too is part of the new reality we are stepping into.
One that values authenticity over achievement,
Truth over perfection and flow over force.
We are taught to choose paths that looked right or safe.
But healing asks us to reverse that.
To create not from fear or ambition,
But from love,
From the pure pleasure of being in flow.
And the beauty is,
We're adults now.
No one gets to choose for us anymore.
We can decide what feels alive,
What brings joy,
What feels like us.
Think back to your childhood.
What did you love to do before the world told you who to be?
Those early joys are like fingerprints of your soul,
Clues to unique medicine.
And remember,
True burnout doesn't come from doing what you love.
You might feel physically tired after creating for hours,
But that's the good kind of tired.
The one that leaves your heart full.
And your energy renewed.
Burnout comes from pretending,
From living out of alignment.
Expression from the soul gives energy back.
So let me ask you,
What would you love to create for yourself and for others?
What makes you feel most alike?
Start there.
Don't judge it.
Don't analyze it.
Just begin.
Because every time you express yourself honestly,
In words,
Color,
Movement or sound,
Life flows through you again.
And that flow is healing.
So this is the healing wheel.
Eight spokes that bring us back into balance,
Restoring not just peace of mind,
But real well-being in the body.
They're not quick fixes or miracle cures.
They're daily choices,
Small,
Loving steps that slowly rebuild the foundation of health.
And of life itself.
They worked for me and I truly believe they can work for you too.
Now I'd love to turn this over to you.
Which key is calling you most right now?
Is it responsibility,
Energy,
Creativity or connection?
Take a moment and notice which one your body leans towards.
Because that's where your journey begins.
But while one spoke,
We stand out.
All of them matter equally.
Healing unfolds when we care for them together.
Keeping the wheel in balance.
Remember,
Healing comes through honesty,
Balance and love.
Every time you choose joy over pressure,
Beauty over fear,
Truth over pretending,
You remind your body it is safe.
And when the body feels safe,
Healing begins.
