That sting that you can feel right now,
In the center of your heart,
Is the center of your universe when the universe is stoned.
The pain sharp and dull at the same time,
Vivid and astonishing as it is accustomable and well known,
And still,
It hurts.
It hurts to live with it.
It hurts to remember that you have been living with it for such a long time,
And now it's almost gone.
You can feel it in your gut,
The other center of your universe,
The right center to your own experience of yourself.
It's almost gone,
Almost fully worn out,
The thinnest thread that has carried the weight of the world,
Your world,
Everybody else's.
Something deep is nudging you,
Almost pushing you to the precipice that would be to grab the tired thread and keep it and pull it back to your heart.
Here,
You're safe,
You would say,
I gotcha,
I'm here.
The strongest of the motherly reflexes,
Here,
You're safe,
Here,
I'm safe.
It would be so easy to do,
Just reach,
Just touch,
Bring back,
And still,
You don't.
You sit in the midst of what was,
Or what has been there for so long.
You can feel it spinning fast all around you,
All around the center of your stormy existence,
Here,
You are,
You're safe,
Breathe,
Just breathe.
You are safe.
You are not the threads that ever connected you to your past,
Nor your present that is ending over and over again.
You are not what ends and you are not whatever begins.
Since you are not whatever changes and passes by,
You are eternal.
You are what is and always is and always is.
You are here and here and here.
Between your thoughts,
Between your feelings,
Between your worn out threads,
This is where you are at the center of your own being,
The center of what comes next.
Enjoy the feelings that you get to feel,
They are beautiful,
Since they are tender and honest and hard to bear,
And bearing can be done with grace.
Be kind to your pain,
Squeeze the end of your grief,
Knowing that it will probably ignore you,
But that doesn't mean it does not appreciate you and your sitting with it.
It will show you its gratitude as soon as it can,
And you will feel it as renewed excitement for life.
Hail what is about to drift away with the shedding of that thread,
Remember its worth,
What has brought to life into your life,
What it did for you even when you were not noticing.
Notice it now,
What did it do for you,
What news,
What help,
What bitter hard lesson did it bring with its coming and staying and now leaving.
Find the beauty that it came here to uncover and reveal for you in the first place,
Find the beauty by searching for the beauty,
You still have time,
The thinning thread is not going anywhere till you can see the beauty in it,
And when you do,
You can let go of each other since everything has been accomplished and it's complete.
Take a deep breath now,
No matter where you are,
If at home or walking outside,
Search for something beautiful around you,
A picture,
A leaf,
The way the light hits the dusty roof of a car,
Your pet,
The unique shape of your feet.
See the beauty in the rhythm of your leaking sink,
The shades of grey of your cloudy sky,
That worn pair of shoes,
What a beautiful pair of shoes,
The beauty of this moment in time.
Take a deep breath,
The ordinary smell of everyday beauty,
Your sacred contribution to it all,
Let yourself be proud for your contribution,
Let yourself be proud because you are living beautifully,
And I want to thank you for that.
