A Course in Miracles talk 22,
Healing Ourselves.
The workbook states,
God does not forgive because he has never condemned,
And there must be condemnation before forgiveness is necessary.
Forgiveness is the great need of the world,
But that is because it is a world of illusions.
Those who forgive are thus releasing themselves from illusions.
For those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them.
As you condemn only yourself,
So you forgive only yourself.
We decide to follow the ego's advice to become ill,
We shall,
In the next moment,
Deny having made that decision.
I can clearly remember a time when I became conscious of the choice I had to become sick or not.
Whilst talking with a group of people one day,
I noticed the first symptoms of a cold.
As I thought to myself that I should go and take some medicine,
I became aware of a voice saying to me,
Careful,
If you do that,
You might lose your cold.
It was amazing for me to realise that part of me wanted that cold.
I could also see that the so-called advantages of being sick,
I could imagine myself being tucked up in bed with a pile of my favourite books,
Which I never found the time to read.
It would also give me an opportunity to take a rest from what I considered a heavier workload.
I decided I wanted to make a conscious decision about whether to be sick or well.
Taking out my diary,
I looked at my appointments over the next few days.
I wanted to keep these appointments instead of going to bed,
Even though my favourite books were a great draw.
Over the next few days,
I had a few mild cold symptoms,
Which did not interfere with my work.
In the language of the Course,
I had chosen a miracle.
This enabled me to drop the ego's thought system,
Which portrayed me as a victim of circumstances,
And instead view the situation through the eyes of the Holy Spirit and forgive myself.
The decision maker in our minds always has the choice in how to view the world,
Through the eyes of the Holy Spirit or the eyes of the ego.
We always look inside our mind first,
And then project what we find onto the circumstances of the world.
To forgive ourselves and others,
We need to choose to look with the Holy Spirit's thought system and not the ego's.
One night,
Shortly before going to sleep,
My wife Solice and I had an argument.
My ego told me I had been unfairly treated and I should separate from her by not communicating.
Solice's ego had apparently given her the same advice,
For neither of us was now talking to the other.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom,
Saw a pack of workbook lesson cards and felt the impulse to take one.
The title of the lesson was I Could See Peace Instead of This.
The significance of the lesson was not lost on me and simultaneously another line from the course came into my mind.
Do you prefer to be right or happy?
For a moment I considered my two options and then said to myself,
I'd rather be right.
I put the lesson card down again.
Feeling miserable but justified in my pain,
I returned silently to bed and fell asleep.
In the morning,
I woke up still feeling separated from Solice,
As she did from me.
I returned to the bathroom and remembered picking up the lesson card from the night before.
Out of curiosity,
I read the title again.
I Could See Peace Instead of This and remembered the choice I had to be right or happy.
I became still for a moment and this time I chose to be happy.
I felt the impulse to share what was happening to me with Solice.
She was sitting quietly at the table and as I sat down next to her I said,
I want to let you know that I'm not handling my side of this dispute very well.
At this statement Solice began to cry and we began to share honestly with each other how we had been feeling.
Through this process we were able to understand each other's fear and found ourselves quietly moving into a state of mutual openness,
Care and affection.
In the language of the Course we had joined and felt at peace.
At these moments I always wonder why I choose to be right and not happy.
However,
I'm also aware that it's taken me a shorter time to forgive than it has done in the past.
What would upset me for days may only last a few hours now.
I'm also aware that some issues which triggered pain in me in the past no longer affect me.
Progress on the spiritual path may be measured by how much of the day is spent listening to the ego compared to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
Eventually only the Holy Spirit will fill our mind and then there will be no more temptation or choice,
For there will not be two voices to choose between.
The decision maker will have disappeared with the ego and the Holy Spirit will fill our mind with God's love and wisdom.
We shall simply know what to do from moment to moment.
The Course describes the state of existence as being in the real world and this is the goal of the Course.
To achieve this goal we must practice forgiveness over and over until we at last see there is nothing to forgive.
The manual states,
Forgive the world and you will understand that everything that God created cannot have an end and nothing he did not create is real.
In this one sentence is our Course explained.
In this one sentence is our practice given its one direction.
And in this one sentence is the Holy Spirit's whole curriculum specified exactly as it is.
How do I forgive?
The Supplement,
The Song of Prayer states,
It is impossible to forgive another,
For it is only your sins you see in him.
You want to see them there and not in you.
That is why forgiveness of another is an illusion.
We can only begin the process of forgiveness when we start to realise how much alike we are to the person we wish to forgive.
When we cannot forgive someone,
It is because we cannot forgive ourselves for the same problem,
Albeit in another form.
For example,
A woman may dislike her husband's aggressive outbursts of anger,
While she may never exhibit such outbursts herself.
However,
Her anger will be just as strong as his,
But will be found in a different form.
For instance,
When she feels angry,
She may withdraw herself and cut off from people emotionally,
Successfully suppressing her anger.
Or her anger may be expressed aggressively when she is alone.
A common example for many people is when they are driving a car and someone changes lanes or stops suddenly.
Anger can well up in us and in the safety and privacy of the car,
We may yell or swear angrily at the other driver.
The woman dislikes her husband's anger because it mirrors her own,
Which she has not forgiven in herself.
Forgiveness recognises that what we thought was done to us,
We truly did to ourselves,
For only we can deprive ourselves of the peace of God.
As the Course teaches,
We forgive others for what they have not done to us,
Not for what they did,
And true forgiveness recognises an attack as a call for love.
Forgiveness is thus a shift in perception.
Our only problem is the belief in separation from God,
And our only healing is by joining with each other through forgiveness.
My earlier talks go much deeper into the subject of forgiveness.
