Hello friends,
This is Mark Gladman,
Also known as Brother Frederick James,
Your friendly neighbourhood monk in docks.
Welcome to day one of our Lent 2026 series In the Wilderness,
Already Held,
As we walk through the Gospel of John.
As we begin,
I invite you to find a position that allows your body to feel soft,
Without collapsing,
Alert,
But yet unguarded.
Allow your hands to rest easily,
Allow the muscles of your face to loosen.
If it feels comfortable,
Gently close your eyes.
Take one slow breath in,
And out.
There's nowhere you need to be,
And nowhere you need to get in our time today.
There's nothing you need to achieve,
Just arrive as you are.
And as we begin,
Listen to the Gospel of John's opening words.
In the beginning was the Word,
And the Word was with God,
And the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning,
Through him all things came to be,
Without him nothing came to be.
What came to be through him was life,
And this life was the light of all people.
The light shines in the darkness,
And the darkness has not overcome it.
Let these words open a space inside you.
You'll notice that John's Gospel doesn't begin with a manger,
Or with a search for God.
John begins before beginnings,
Before memory,
Before failure,
Before anything you regret,
Or anything you're still striving toward.
Before all of that,
There is presence,
There is relationship.
Before all of that,
You are already being held within the life of God.
Now notice what happens within you as you hear those words,
That you don't begin in separation.
That you don't begin as a problem that needs to be solved,
Or outside of the gaze of love.
Existence itself carries the imprint of communion,
And even now your breathing participates in a life that you didn't make yourself.
Your heart beats without your instruction.
You're being lived as much as you are living.
Let that thought settle gently into your nervous system.
You're not holding yourself together as much as you might imagine.
John tells us that life was the light of all people,
Not some people,
Not just the awakened people,
Or the faithful people,
Or the religious people,
But all people.
Which means the light isn't switched on when we become worthy.
It's woven into the very fabric of being,
And this light does something remarkable.
It shines,
Not eventually or conditionally,
But simply by its nature.
It shines.
A lot of us quietly assume that darkness is the primary reality,
That pain always seems to have the first word,
Or fear tells the deeper truth.
But John's leading us somewhere older than fear,
And older than despair.
This is not light reacting to darkness.
This is light that precedes darkness.
And so darkness then is never,
Ever the starting point of your story.
And it's not even its deepest layer.
Even the places within you that feel shadowed,
Even the chapters of your life,
You'd rather not revisit.
None of them interrupt the presence of God.
There are places where the light continues to shine,
Perhaps more quietly than you expected,
Yeah,
Perhaps in ways that you don't immediately recognize,
But the light shines nonetheless.
Now take a slow breath in,
And as you breathe in,
Imagine receiving this light.
And imagine receiving it as something profoundly native to your being.
And as your breath comes out,
Allow your shoulders to relax just a little bit more.
There's nothing here that you need to secure.
There's nothing here that you need to prove.
You are all ready inside the life that you're seeking.
Now gently bring to your awareness the places where you still feel that you need to earn your belonging.
Now don't analyze them,
Just notice them.
Where have you been living as though you must justify your existence?
And then imagine those places surrounded quietly by light.
Not a light that forces,
Not a light that withdraws,
But that remains.
And then bring to mind something in your life that currently feels unclear,
Heavy,
Maybe unresolved.
And without trying to fix it,
Just ask yourself the question,
What if light is already present here?
And just pause long enough to let your body respond,
Rather than your intellect.
And now consider this,
What softens in you when you stop trying to arrive somewhere spiritually?
When you stop treating peace as a destination?
When you stop,
I don't know,
Measuring your worth by progress?
Notice the subtle shift that becomes possible.
Arrival gives way to recognition,
And you begin to sense that perhaps you've never been outside the field of God's presence and love.
And stay with your breathing for a few moments,
Slow,
Unforced,
Supported.
If your mind wanders,
Let it wander without frustration.
Because even wandering happens within the light,
Nothing at all falls outside of it.
So,
In the beginning.
These words aren't only about the origins of the universe,
They speak to the beginning beneath every moment,
Including this one,
Right here,
Right now.
Life is being given again,
Right here,
The light is shining again,
And you are already held within it.
Not later,
Not once you understand more,
Or believe in a right way or not,
But already.
Let yourself rest here,
Not as an act of spiritual effort,
But as a quiet consent to what's always been true,
That you belong to a relational universe.
You belong within the life of God.
You belong.
Before you achieve,
Before you heal completely,
Before you become who you hope to be,
Belonging is the ground,
Not the reward.
Take one deeper breath now,
And feel the support beneath your body.
Sense the steadiness that's available to you,
And allow a spaciousness to open inside,
Unhurried,
Unstrained.
For these moments,
Let it be enough,
Simply to be.
And as we begin to bring this first reflection to a close,
Receive this gentle knowing.
Nothing begins in absence.
Not your story,
Not your questions,
Not even your pain,
The light continues,
And it shines.
Rest in that light today.
Move through the hours remembering,
Even if it's faintly,
That you're living within a presence that has never stepped away.
When you're ready,
Slowly open your eyes.
Carry this steadiness with you.
You were already held in the beginning,
And you are held still.
And may grace,
Peace,
And love go with you on this first day of our 40-day journey through Lent together.
Until tomorrow,
My friends,
Grace and peace be with you.
Amen.
