A Love Story

She longed for love as far back as she could remember.

She wanted to be seen,

Heard,

Validated,

Understood.

She wanted to be accepted,

Fit in,

Belong.

She wanted attention,

Affection,

Appreciation,

And to be acknowledged.

She needed love,

Care,

Support,

Encouragement.

She lived 17 years void of all of these things.

Until,

One day,

She met a man 3 years her senior.

He showed her how to love.

He loved her unconditionally.

She finally had all the things she longed for all of her life.

She was scared,

Lacking self-confidence,

Self-worth,

And a sense of personal value.

She was timid,

Shy,

Though lying beneath both of these were fear,

Lack of self,

Dissociation from the hurt and pain she endured in her younger years.

She didn't know who she was.

He saw her for who she was and loved her anyway.

He accepted her in a way no other ever had.

She was young,

Naive,

Inexperienced,

Not knowing who to be,

Not knowing how to be.

She did her best,

Tried her best.

He loved her through it all.

He saw her beauty.

He saw her value.

He saw her for who she was,

Cracks,

Crevices,

And all.

She couldn't see it.

She couldn't feel it.

She couldn't understand.

They shared five good years together,

Creating memories that will last a lifetime.

They say first loves cut the deepest.

Or maybe first loves are the deepest.

In this case,

Both.

She is no longer in love with him,

That feeling dissolved years ago.

She will,

However,

Carry his love with her in her heart for eternity.

There is a difference.

Though she has tried and tried and tried again,

She has yet to find,

To feel,

To experience that kind of love again.

It takes two to make a relationship work.

She acknowledges her part.

She understands his part.

Outside forces,

Outside people also played a part.

For now,

My love,

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.