Hi,
Thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm Shannon,
And this is Star Seed Evolution,
Bringing the wisdom and insight of the cosmos to you.
I'm grateful that you're listening.
In today's episode,
We'll be talking about spiritual direction,
What it is,
And why we might want to connect with a spiritual director in our own life.
I have been working in spiritual direction in both one-on-one as well as group or community settings and workshops for the past 15 years now.
Spiritual direction or spiritual companioning,
As it's beginning to be shifted into as far as language,
Is the art of accompanying a person on their journey into deeper self-discovery.
We as people are always evolving,
Growing,
Changing,
Transforming,
And these changes can sometimes be by choice,
Or sometimes it can be thrust upon us through different things that we go through that shift us into having to change the direction that we're going in life.
Sometimes the changes can be a wanted and welcome part of our life,
And other times it can feel sorrowful or angry about the direction things are going.
Life definitely is never static,
And through these shifts,
Our own viewpoints of the world may also shift and change in ways that we didn't expect,
Which can bring moments of aha,
Or moments where there is sadness,
And learning to understand how this change can affect and grow us,
And how we can either evolve from it or allow it to hold us back.
The act of engaging actively in spiritual direction allows people to feel seen,
Heard,
And also allows them to deepen the questions of what they're going through to help them understand and reflect on all the things happening in life.
It might also bring up perspectives about things that we hadn't thought of before,
Which is part of the process of evolution.
So as you're listening to this,
The question in your own mind might be,
Well,
Is spiritual direction faith-based,
Being that it has the word spiritual in it?
And this is a very good question.
The answer is,
Well,
It all depends on you.
It depends on each person and their own way of seeking in their life.
It depends also on the spiritual director that the person is sitting with as well.
I myself am what is called an interfaith spiritual director.
I have an openness to seeing spirituality in the world through energy and holding all types of faith styles in the present moment and allowing them to be,
Whether we're talking the Celtic pagan tradition,
Buddhism,
Christianity,
Judaism,
Being Baha'i or Sufi or Muslim,
Or being an atheist.
All of these are styles in which we engage the world,
And it doesn't always have to be one of these absolute paths.
It can be many things woven together.
So then the question would be for the person sitting with a spiritual director,
What is their own faith style?
What are they comfortable with?
And in the end,
It would be up to them to interview the spiritual director to see if that is someone that is compatible with them.
And we don't have to practice our spirituality in the same way in order to sit with each other.
I can sit with an open heart and listen and guide through open-ended questions with whomever I'm sitting with as long as we're honoring each other and holding space,
Allowing each person or community to be vulnerable,
Uncertain,
With the ability to gain self-awareness and clarity through this type of slow evolving and listening.
Just as cosmic or universal time is not linear,
Neither is the internal soul-guided journey of discovery.
The important part of the dynamic is that both people feel at home working with each other on this journey.
So another question that you might ask is,
What types of topics are brought forward in spiritual direction?
Is it just about spirituality and faith?
My answer is no.
It's my belief that all topics that humans face in their life can be approached from a spiritually directed place.
For example,
There might be spiritual direction around the topic of aging as I shift and change and go through transformations,
Either from being a teen to a young adult,
Being a young adult or moving into my 30s,
Moving from my 30s and beginning to shift and change health-wise into my 40s,
Moving into my 50s and 60s and seeing how life evolves and change through age.
So aging is an important topic.
Love and relationships come up in spiritual direction for you to explore yourself and see what types of relationships are important to you,
How love manifests,
And the questions to ask.
We can also see health changes in our life as things that we might need to move into spiritual direction about.
When our health is compromised or our health changes,
This can make us feel sometimes unsure about our path,
And so spiritual direction allows us to move deeper into those questions.
Questions around work and career,
Questions around our own consciousness,
Questions around how we move with scientific discovery,
Questions around transition into passing and death,
Questions around creativity and self-expression.
These can bring up a lot of things inside of us around childhood,
Or around our own self-doubt,
Or things that we want to work on so that we can more fully express ourselves.
And so there is no topic that cannot be approached from a spiritual vantage point.
Spiritual direction is about a space of not holding judgment and instead being able to reflect,
Grow,
And contemplate old ways of being,
New ways of shifting,
Why we hold some of the beliefs we do,
Do we want to keep those or begin to change them,
Are they hurting us or those around us,
Or how can we help ourselves into new spaces of growing and becoming.
Another question that sometimes comes up around spiritual direction is this one.
Is it the same as psychology or being in counseling or going to therapy?
And the short answer is no.
Now the longer answer is this.
The borders between these two,
Because the topics can also come up in counseling appointments that come up in spiritual direction.
However,
Not all spiritual directors are licensed professional counselors or psychologists.
This does not give us a spiritual director the right to work on someone's mental health advice or therapy.
And so if I see that during a session things are moving into a space that might be more psychological or mentally based,
And that the person I'm working with needs a little bit more assistance than I can give,
I might refer this person to a therapist or a professional counselor.
We can do both types of sessions.
I have quite a few clients that work with me in spiritual direction,
But then also meet with a licensed professional counselor as well.
And so as long as we're staying on the same page with one another,
Then this can be a wonderful adjunct for each other.
So now that we've talked a little bit about spiritual direction and some of the questions around it,
I'd like to go a little bit more personal.
And another question might be,
How did I get into the field of spiritual direction?
And that is a fun and interesting story,
Because it definitely was not in my radar.
Speaking of ways things can pop up and shift us into new directions.
Back in 2009,
I was working as a massage therapist,
Craniosacral therapist,
And Reiki master teacher,
And had been doing so for about 10 years at that point.
Besides the traditional work that I do in the field,
I also like to explore growth of a personal kind through creativity.
So in the evenings,
I was also taking a writing class.
This class was in person,
And it was an eight-week session,
And we'd meet once a week and have different writing exercises that we would do.
There were about 15 people in the class,
Plus the instructor,
Who was a professional writer.
In this particular class,
We were focusing on creative style,
So working on setting and voice and tone.
So we'd have different exercises each week in which to practice these different writing techniques.
Each time we would meet,
We would bring the exercise that we were working on to the class with us,
And have enough copies to be able to pass out to everybody in class.
And we'd all read each other's work and then provide feedback and critique along with the teacher.
So about four weeks into the class,
The night before,
I went to print my assignment,
And my printer wasn't working.
And I thought,
Well,
The next day before I go to class in the evening,
I can stop by a local shop that had copy machines and make enough copies to take to class with me.
The next day after work,
And before heading to writing class,
I stopped at the copy place.
As I stepped into the shop in order to make the copies,
It was like stepping into the children's story,
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
The first copier that I went to,
I noticed that it was quite expensive to do the self copies.
Then I noticed it was a color copier and thought,
Nope,
That one's not right.
Then I moved to the next copy machine,
And it was broken.
So nope,
That one wasn't right either.
Then I moved to the next copy machine,
And this one was black and white and inexpensive and just right.
I took my assignment and I opened the lid of the copy machine.
And before I could place it on the face of the copier,
I saw that there was another piece of paper sitting on the face of the copy machine.
When I picked up that piece of paper to look at it,
It was the application to Tachyria Interfaith School of Spiritual Direction.
Well,
I started laughing because I said,
Okay spirit,
I get your hint.
And I didn't take it with me instead because I'm at a copy machine and who knows whoever left it might come back for it.
I thought I will make a copy of it.
So I made a copy of the application along with the assignment for writing class.
After class that night,
I went home and I filled out the application and sent it in.
Soon after that,
I had an interview with the program and then started in September of that same year,
2009.
Now I'd like to share about one of the keystones of spiritual direction,
Which is the word discernment.
Discernment plays a big part in spiritual direction.
Discernment is the act of arriving at a solution to challenges that might arise around us.
The solutions that come up are individual for each person or community because each of us has different ways of solving the things that come up around us.
And arriving at solutions sometimes is a process.
It doesn't happen all at once or immediately.
A spiritual director companions a person on their journey to ask questions that allow someone else to engage with their own internal dialogue so that they arrive at their own answers.
Discernment is also the process of taking in the bigger picture.
We don't make choices to our challenges in a bubble.
We're taking in our own narrative inside of ourselves,
Also the relationship we have to the people around us.
It's also important that we begin to see through the eyes of others that we are in circle with in life.
The sphere of our own self is in constant contact with the spheres or circle of those people who are around us.
That doesn't mean this is about pleasing someone else just to avoid conflict.
Instead,
It's just learning to understand how people view things differently.
Discernment is also about gaining clarity about the intention of our own direction.
Instead,
It's living into the questions and seeing through exploration where they guide us.
I'd like to share another personal story,
This one more in connection to how spiritual direction can work.
The questions that come up through discernment that take us through the process of what it means to find an internal answer that feels appropriate to ourselves through different challenges that we face.
So I'll give you the different people that are involved in this personal story of mine and then share the story and how I discerned and came through with an answer that felt right for me.
The first person in the story is myself,
The second person is my friend Sandy,
And the third is not a person but her dog Sophie.
Now I've changed the names of Sandy and Sophie in this story so as to be mindful.
This particular story happened at least 15 or 16 years ago.
At the time,
My friend Sandy was an executive in a position where she had to travel a lot for work.
At the same time,
I myself,
Besides working with clients,
I also did pet sitting as well as house sitting on the side.
My friend Sandy needed someone to both watch Sophie,
Her dog,
And also take care of the house when she was gone.
The days that Sandy might be gone for a trip for work might be anywhere from a few days to a couple weeks,
And sometimes in the summer it could be as long as 30 days.
All of this I was able to do and stay at her house taking care of the house and also getting the opportunity to become best friends with her dog Sophie,
Whom I loved very much.
I knew Sandy and Sophie for the length of Sophie's life,
Up to about 12 years,
And so it became as if Sandy's dog Sophie was one of my friends,
One of my companions,
Who I loved very much.
Near the end of Sophie's life,
When she began to have more health problems,
I would make sure to take care of her when Sandy was out of town,
But sometimes Sandy would come home and have to take Sophie to many different veterinary treatments.
Because of the bond that I shared with Sandy and Sophie,
They felt as if they were both part of my own personal family.
Now one day I was at work at an acupuncture clinic where I was working as a massage therapist and also doing Reiki energy healing and would work in adjunct with the acupuncturist.
One day I came out of a session with a client and picked up my phone to check any messages or texts that might have come through from either clients or friends or family.
When I opened the phone,
There was a text message from Sandy and she had indicated that she had had to take Sophie to the veterinarian and that Sophie had been euthanized.
There were so many different emotions that were wrapped into receiving this text.
The first emotion was grief.
Grief that Sophie was gone.
My friend who I love so much.
The next grief that came up was Sandy.
Sadness that she had had to make that decision for Sophie.
The next emotion that came up was my own emotion around receiving the text message because I wanted to have received maybe a phone call or to have known that Sandy was taking Sophie in before it happened rather than after the fact.
So all these different emotions were coming up at once.
Also you'll find over time and I've talked a little bit about it but I'll talk about it more in future episodes is that I'm also highly empathic and sensitive and so finding out about Sophie's passing through a text was jarring to me as well and needless to say I lost it and so I was outside crying.
So because I've done a lot of spiritual direction for myself with my own spiritual director as well as sitting with others in spiritual direction I knew not to go into the emotions and reach out to Sandy with all the things that were moving through my head at the time.
I knew that because I was so triggered that it was important for me to meet with my own spiritual director to walk through this process and find out what I actually needed to do with the information.
I wanted to honor Sandy's grief,
I wanted to honor my own grief of losing Sophie,
I wanted to honor my friend's decision but I also wanted to honor that I was upset as well.
So you can see how complex this is and sometimes that initial reaction is our own personal journey.
So if we can walk through these things with a spiritual director maybe we can mitigate some of that emotion and then choose the best way to address the feelings that are coming up without dumping on the person across from us.
The first thing I discerned was that Sandy is the owner of Sophie.
The second thing I discerned is that I was a close friend of Sandy and Sophie.
The next thing I discerned was that I also had a bond with Sophie and so of course I was feeling sad.
Then I also discerned is this something that I should share with Sandy about how I was feeling.
Now because Sandy and I had been friends for a long time I knew some of her personal background with her family and so sitting through discernment and looking at the situation through her eyes I could see that Sandy needed things to be a little bit more calm and so I know that if she had told me that she was taking Sophie I might have cried or had a big emotional response and this in and of itself might have been too much for Sandy to hold space for when she was also having to make this decision about having Sophie euthanized and so it might have been too much to have to handle her own grief of losing Sophie at the same time as holding my grief for also losing Sophie and so I began to see from that fuller perspective I realized that this might have been the only direction that Sandy could go was making the choice for Sophie taking her to the vet and then texting me afterward.
Through spiritual direction and discernment I could go home sit with it grieve Sophie's loss and allow the situation to be just as it was and not make it different and continue to be in friendship with Sandy and then because I also have different spiritual practices I created my own way of saying goodbye to Sophie by going to the park that she and I used to go for walks at and that I could say goodbye to her in my own way and so taking all of these complexities I didn't have to then put my friend Sandy in an awkward position in which she already had a lot on her plate.
Now through this story what I want to say is just because this was my process these were the answers that I came to for myself that does not mean that this is the answer for each one of you that might be in different situations where things come up the approach I took might not be the approach that you take and that's okay too that's what spiritual direction is about is about opening those questions walking the path listening for the answers and making choices from that informed place versus out of being in reaction.
This is why spiritual direction can be such a wonderful tool in the evolution of our heart mind and soul here on this earth where there aren't just one right answer to every situation.
I'd like to thank you so much for joining me today for our episode where we talked about what spiritual direction is what spiritual direction isn't what things can be approached in spiritual direction how it's important as a part of our life in order to come to deeper spiritual wisdom about our own paths and just as I shared not only how I became a spiritual director but also a personal experience about using spiritual direction.
In the future I'll also be sharing more episodes about using the tool of discernment to ponder many different important questions that might come up in life.
In our next episode we'll be talking about the importance of developing a spiritual practice for ourselves.
A spiritual practice can be either an individual practice that we do daily,
It can be something that we do that's community-based,
Or we might have a spiritual practice that is a combination both of our individual self as well as connecting with communities either in person or online.
Thank you again for being here with me today.
I'm Shannon,
And you're listening to Starseed Evolution,
And I hope you have an awesome week.
Namaste.
