Hello,
My name is Dr.
Chai.
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist,
And I'd like to take a moment to talk a little bit about the fear of failure.
Have you ever wanted to do something but stopped because you were afraid you might fail?
Maybe you wanted to start something new,
Speak up,
Or apply for an opportunity.
Create something or make a change.
And somewhere in the back of your mind was that question.
What if I fail?
There can be incredibly convincing.
It can tell us to wait until we're ready,
To learn more,
To get better.
To make sure we won't embarrass ourselves,
But sometimes what we're really doing is protecting ourselves from the possibility of disappointment.
And here's something worth considering.
Failure is an event.
It's not an identity.
You can fail at something without being a failure.
You can make a mistake without being a mistake.
You can try something and discover that it didn't work without deciding that you aren't capable.
Failure gives us information.
It tells us something about what worked,
What didn't,
And what we might do differently next time.
But when we become afraid of that information,
We may never give ourselves the opportunity to learn.
So instead of asking yourself,
What if I fail?
Try asking.
What might I learn if I try?
That question changes everything.
And you don't have to take a huge leap.
Maybe your next step is simply making a phone call.
Sending an email.
Sharing the idea.
Starting for 10 minutes,
Asking for help.
Taking the first step before you completely competent.
Because confident doesn't always come before action.
Sometimes confidence is built because we take action.
So if there's something you've been avoiding because you're afraid of failing,
Consider making the goal smaller.
Don't focus on succeeding.
Focus on beginning.
You don't need to know exactly how things will turn out.
You don't need a guarantee.
You just need enough willingness to take the next step.
And remember,
You are more than your outcomes.
Your worth doesn't increase when you succeed,
And it doesn't disappear when you fail.
You are allowed to try.
You are allowed to learn.
You're allowed to get it wrong.
And?
You're always allowed to begin again.
Thank you for joining me today.
