Hello,
Hello Vasavi here and you are listening to how to uncomplicate anything.
Now when I talk about uncomplicating anything,
I'm talking about anything in your life.
Relationships,
Your finances,
Your business if you have one,
Your career,
Just anything in your life where you feel like you're not clear and you find yourself going into this downward rabbit hole of options and ideas and confusion and lack of clarity and you find yourself just saying to yourself,
I don't know what to do.
I've always told my clients and I say this to myself too,
When I say to myself,
I don't know it's usually because I've gotten to the point where I've really uncomplicated things and I've stopped listening to my inner guru.
I've stopped listening to the teacher within myself.
I've stopped listening to my intuition and my gut because the thing is we know,
We know,
We know what we need to do,
We know what we want,
We know what we need but it takes sometimes an it takes another person sometimes.
Someone who is objective,
Someone who has your back,
Someone who just wants the best for you and it requires us to really,
Really get clear and honest with ourselves first and with another person.
Also I have to say that in a society where we're so connected through social media and people just kind of spew their opinions all over the place,
It can just feel like there are just tons of problems and no one's actually providing solutions and so while you're listening to this training and while you're going through the steps that I'm going to be providing you to how to uncomplicate anything,
I want you to just kind of shift your brain from I have a problem to I have solutions for days because the thing is deep down I know you want peace,
I know you want calm,
I know you want to feel sane and I know you just want to have a life where things are flowing and it's not always going to be that way.
Sometimes we have issues come up,
Sometimes things happen and if we're dealing with people which is more often than not,
People are complicated and people can disappoint us but it's our job as human beings and as the creators of our own life to really learn how to uncomplicate things for ourself because when you get clear that you want to live a life that is grounded,
Centered and free from drama and confusion and you apply these steps,
I promise you,
You will learn how to uncomplicate anything in your life,
In your relationships,
In your business even when it comes to figuring out what you want to eat for dinner because I grew up in a house with a lot of chaos and it wasn't very structured growing up.
My mom worked a lot,
My dad worked a lot and when they came together and it was time to make decisions,
It just became very helter skelter.
There was really no structure or flow so I learned how to cope with chaos and I had a very high tolerance for chaos and I just thought that indecision was normal and yes,
I'm not saying that you're going to know every single time 100% what you want to do but the thing is and I promise you this,
When you start to get to know yourself really,
Really well,
Uncomplicating things is going to be simpler for yourself.
Now if you want to take this work a little bit further and really understand yourself and get to know yourself better,
I have a free training over on my website at VasaviKumar.
Com forward slash freebies and there's a training there called Drop the Facade and Learn How to Truly Become Happy Within and that training is all about getting to know yourself.
When you know yourself,
You can do anything and you can make decisions from your values and from what you really want and knowing your likes and your dislikes and your personality but more importantly,
Establishing that relationship with yourself,
Knowing yourself better than anybody else knows you is going to help you make decisions in your life that maybe in the past you've complicated and it's going to be easier to uncomplicate because you can start to trust yourself and what you want.
You're going to become that kind of person that you're like,
You know what,
I know what I want,
No one can shake me,
I am certain in my foundation,
I am certain with who I am,
I am open and willing to learn but I know who I am.
I know what I'm made of and I am grounded and I am centered and no one can tell me how to live my life.
I know what's best for me.
Once again,
I am going to say this though,
As someone who is now in sobriety,
Practicing sobriety in her life,
When I got sober,
I remember telling my counselors,
Just tell me what to do and I'll do it.
That wasn't me not trusting myself,
That was me surrendering to something that was bigger than myself because the fact is,
I didn't know how to be sober.
I didn't know how to deal with my life.
I didn't know how to uncomplicate my life.
It started with me getting sober first and so I surrendered and I said to the people around me that I knew had my back and wanted the best for me,
Just tell me what to do and I'll do it.
From there on out,
I really just started to do the things that I knew were good for me and were healthy for me and the more time I had under my belt in my recovery,
The more clear I got and the less complications I had in my life because I started with my one thing and my one thing was to really get sober first.
I'm going to be listing out,
Sharing a process that I do with myself and I do with my clients and the thing is,
I never realized I had a process.
I didn't realize when I helped other people uncomplicate their life and their business or I needed help uncomplicating my life and my business that there was an actual process to this.
A lot of times we go all over the place talking to the wrong people to get feedback and advice from.
Here's my word of wisdom for you.
Do not go to people that have complicated lives to help you uncomplicate your life.
Yes,
There are people who are really good advisors and really good guides but in order for you to really have a solid foundation and understanding of how to uncomplicate things,
If you're going to seek out feedback and if you're going to seek out advice from someone,
Have it be someone that you consider to really have their shit together.
Someone that you trust and someone that you respect for how they live and how they deal with certain things in their life and in their business and in their career and just how they flow through life.
Let's get to the first step.
We're going to have a total of eight steps and make sure you have something to write with because I'm going to be giving you some prompts throughout this training.
Okay,
So the first thing is to stop,
Is to pause,
Is to identify when you're going down that rabbit hole.
What do I mean by that?
So when I get into the mode of complicating things,
This is what it looks like for me.
My mind is spinning.
I have a bazillion options.
I start to freak out.
I lose my rational side.
My emotions start taking over and I cannot think clearly.
I cannot make a decision at all.
And whatever the problem is right in front of me seems to feel even more complicated because my entire emotional mind has taken over and my logic has gone out the window.
But it's really important that you identify when you're starting to be that way,
When you're starting to kind of go crazy and you feel like you're going crazy because in a way your mind is all over the place and you're like,
I don't know what to do.
Like you're crazy making,
Right?
So make a list of what that feels like for you.
When you start to go down that rabbit hole of indecision,
When you start to feel like,
Oh my God,
This is really complicated.
What does that look like?
What does that feel like?
What do you start doing or not doing?
Does your head start to spin?
Do you start texting everybody in your phone your problem and start seeking out advice from everybody?
Do you start numbing yourself through alcohol,
Through substances?
Do you just completely not do anything and just like,
You just don't do anything,
But you're not really kind of sitting with yourself.
You're more numbing yourself out,
Like I said.
So the first thing is to just pause.
Don't do anything.
It's really like,
This is what it looks like.
You find yourself going down this rabbit hole.
You find yourself getting crazy.
You can feel it in your body.
You're feeling tense.
You're feeling anxious.
All I need you to say in that moment is just pause.
Everything's going to be okay.
Everything is okay.
I just need to take a break.
Give yourself permission to take a break.
Give yourself permission to just pause.
When you pause,
You're creating space for your mind to slow down.
This is why meditation is so important.
This is why sitting in silence is so important.
This is why having quiet time,
Going out into nature,
And just being rather than doing,
Doing,
Doing is so important.
So the first thing is to stop.
Give yourself the permission to stop.
So your assignment,
Your little mini assignment for step number one is to identify what it looks like,
What it feels like,
What it sounds like when you're going down your rabbit hole of complicating things even further.
Step two,
Oh my God,
This is probably the game changer,
Okay?
This is the game changer for me.
It was the game changer for me,
And it still is the game changer for me.
All the most logical person you know.
So first thing you're gonna do is stop,
Take some time,
Go for a walk,
Breathe some deep breaths,
Read a book,
Just put it aside,
Whatever you're going through,
Just put it aside for right now.
I would say give yourself 30 minutes to an hour.
If you need longer,
That's fine.
But remember,
You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
So say this with me.
I cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
That doesn't mean you don't have the ability to solve your problem or uncomplicate anything.
It just means in that moment we need our mind to calm down,
To get back to a rational,
Logical state of awareness.
So step two is to call the most logical person you know.
Right now,
I want you to make a list of all the people in your life that you know can talk you off the ledge of crazy making.
So it could be,
It doesn't have to be a huge list.
I can tell you right now my list is in order,
My mother,
My father,
My sister,
My uncle,
Which is my mom's little brother,
And one of my very good friends right here in Austin.
These are the five people that I know I can go to.
And if I say,
Listen,
I'm going through something right now.
I just need you to listen.
And I just need you to hear me out.
Because in that moment,
When I'm in my own swimming in indecision,
Swimming in complication,
It is so important for me instead of acting rash or impulsively that I hop on the phone or even text somebody that I know is more logical than I am in that moment.
I am not saying that you're not logical.
What I'm saying is in that moment or when you're emotionally very charged,
It is hard to make a rational decision.
It is hard to think clear.
It is hard to uncomplicate things.
So call the most logical person that you know.
Put them in your favorite section of your phone.
And just know that when you need that feedback and when you need to just kind of get something off your chest or you need that advice or you need that guidance that you have people to go to,
Remember,
It doesn't matter how big your list of people are.
And what I want you to know is that over time,
You do this enough times,
You start to train your brain on how to uncomplicate things,
You're going to become the most logical person that you know.
I promise you,
My entire life I've been referred to as highly emotional.
And yes,
I feel deeply.
I think deeply.
When I'm happy,
I'm ecstatic.
When I'm sad,
I'm bawling.
And it's taken me a very long time and with a lot of practice to become very logical for me to be able to find my center on my own.
But guess what?
I'm still a human being.
I can get hormonal and I know that when I'm going down that rabbit hole,
That in that moment I need to pause.
And then after that,
I need to call somebody.
I didn't get sober by doing it on my own.
I called my sponsor,
I talked to my counselors,
I talked to other people who were in recovery and who had had more sobriety time under their belt.
It's important that you realize that you are supported.
Now,
If you're saying to me,
Vasavi,
I don't have a single logical person in my life,
I'm going to be straight up with you.
It might be time to start cultivating relationships with people who are more logical and who you really respect and who you really admire.
And you're like,
Wow,
I like the way they live their life.
Doesn't mean you want to be like them,
But there are great qualities in other people that would serve us if we emulate it,
Right?
If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to,
I just want to put this out there for you that I am here.
Nothing brings me greater joy than to help people get clarity in their lives.
Because I know firsthand how difficult and how painful it is to complicate things.
And then you feel like you have no center.
You feel like you're just floating.
And so if you need someone to talk to,
Just know that I'm here.
You can always just go to my website,
Vasavikumar.
Com,
Or email me,
Vasavi at vasavikumar.
Com.
I will help you get off the ledge of crazy making.
So step two,
Call the most logical person that you know.
And your assignment for that is to make a list of the people in your life that you think can talk you off the ledge of crazy making.
A little added bonus step here is write down why you would call them.
What is their quality that you really admire and know can help you in that moment?
So I have a really good friend named Grace.
She is extremely empathetic.
She validates me.
Feels really good.
When I'm telling her something,
She's never like,
Oh,
You're crazy for thinking that way.
She never makes me feel bad for how I feel.
She just allows me to express myself.
And what's great about that is I go to her because she is a great sounding board.
And so I can just tell her how I'm feeling and just how complicated things are.
And she just listens and validates.
And through that validation,
I actually come to answers on my own.
Because sometimes we just want to be heard.
Most of the times we just want to be heard.
And then there are people,
Like I'll go to my uncle and I'll tell him something that's going on in a relationship or in just like a business complication that I'm facing.
And he'll listen.
And he'll just simply kind of give me his feedback.
And I'll just listen.
And I'm like,
Oh,
And he takes me off this ledge of crazy making.
And he's so logical that it allows me to be less emotional and start to think more logically.
Logic increases your logic,
Right?
So if you're going to go to someone who's going to add fuel to your crazy making,
And I say that as someone who has been called crazy her whole life,
And I have felt crazy,
So by no means am I putting down anybody that ever feels crazy.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 20 years old.
So I've been called everything crazy,
Out of control,
Insane.
So when I say that,
I say that from personal experience.
And I say that with love.
And I'm in no way disrespecting anyone who has ever been diagnosed with any sort of mood disorder or mental illness.
It's one to no one.
So call the most logical person that you know.
Make this list of people.
And write down next to their names,
Why would you call them?
Under what situation,
Right?
So my mother,
For example,
Love her very,
Very much.
She's become someone that I really go to.
And I never thought I would,
Because I really kind of conflicted a lot with my mom growing up.
But now,
When I just need a good little swift gentle kick in the pants,
I go to my mother and I'll tell her what's going on,
And she'll set me straight.
My mother wants the best for me.
She's not always right.
But I know that she has my back.
And she sees the potential in me.
And she sees who I really am.
And she can help me get out of my crazy emotional state almost 99.
9% of the time.
So write down the person,
People that you would want to call that you feel like,
Okay,
They can help.
Put them in your favorites in your phone,
And then utilize those people.
And you know what?
You can actually let those people in your life know,
Hey,
When I'm going through something,
I'm probably going to call you.
Let them know.
And if you know,
These are people that you know,
Love you and have your back and want to see the best for you.
So take advantage of that.
Step three is,
This is a little difficult.
I'm just going to say this upfront.
Tell them the truth of the matter.
This is your spoken truth.
This is where you can practice and you have the opportunity to practice honesty,
Not only with yourself,
But with another human being.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you become honest with yourself.
Because when you are honest about your situation,
All of it,
The good,
The bad,
And the ugly,
And you take responsibility for what's going on,
And you're like,
Listen,
I'm going through this.
I think this is how I created this situation.
This is what's going on.
When you're completely honest with somebody else,
When you're completely honest with yourself,
Number one,
And then you're completely honest with somebody else,
They can actually help you.
But if you're lying to somebody or if you're not telling them the whole truth,
Anything that they tell you isn't really going to benefit.
I'm sorry,
Because if you're telling them a half truth and they're giving you feedback or guidance based on that half truth,
You can really only apply that to half the truth.
But besides this fact,
You want to become a more honest person because uncomplicating things starts with being honest with yourself.
Like,
Holy shit,
I'm uncomplicating.
I'm complicating this right now.
Excuse me.
I'm complicating this right now.
What have I done to create this?
You start to take responsibility for that situation in your life,
And you're like,
This is how this came about.
This is what's going on.
This is how I'm feeling.
And then when you share that with the most logical person that you know,
You can then get honest feedback based on the honest situation.
So get honest with yourself,
Tell yourself the truth of the matter,
And share with them the truth of the matter.
This is going to take practice because oftentimes we want to cover up a few things.
We don't want to be completely honest because we're ashamed or we're embarrassed or we feel stupid.
This is why in step two,
I said,
Make a list of the people that you know,
Love you,
Care about you,
That you trust,
And you don't have your back.
That way you don't have to lie to them.
When I tell my mom something,
When I tell my uncle something,
When I tell my best friend something,
I'm honest with them because that's the only way you can really get help and really start to uncomplicate your life and your business,
Whatever situation you're going through.
So get clear and tell them the truth of the matter.
So number four can be a doozy,
Especially,
I know all of this seems like it's all,
It's not complicated because I prefaced it with it's hard,
But you know,
This is the thing.
Like these steps are not easy,
But they're simple.
But I promise you,
When you start to practice going through these steps and making it a part of your everyday life,
You will uncomplicate whatever situation you're facing.
So step four is to ask for their feedback.
Now why can this be a doozy?
Why am I saying that this is a doozy?
Because for some of y'all,
It's hard to ask for help.
It's hard to ask for feedback because you feel dumb.
You feel like I should know the answer to this.
How do I know this?
Because I was one of those people.
I felt silly asking for feedback.
I felt like I should be able to know this already.
I'm Vasavi Kumar.
I'm smart.
I have two master's degrees.
I went to an Ivy league school.
How come I'm in this situation?
Because guess what?
We're human beings and our mind likes to screw with us sometimes and it can go on and on.
And even the most intelligent person needs to be able to have somebody to talk to and get that feedback.
So ask for the feedback.
Say,
So you're going to stop.
Let's reiterate.
You're going to pause.
You're going to call the most logical person that you know.
You're going to tell them what's up.
100% full truth.
You're going to say,
I need your feedback.
What do you think?
What do you think about this situation?
What do you think I should do?
Do you have any guidance for me?
How would you be in this situation?
Ask them.
Have them put themselves in your shoes because you then get to start to shift your perspective from complicating things to seeing how somebody else would do it.
Remember,
These are people that you like,
That you know,
That you trust,
That you know,
Love you wholeheartedly and have your back.
So ask for their feedback and asking for feedback can sound many different ways.
I've just given you a few ways,
But one of the things that I love to say is,
What do you think?
Tell me how you're viewing the situation.
Or if I just want to be told what to do,
Because sometimes my head's just spinning,
I'm like,
Tell me what to do and I'll just do it.
That was the most powerful thing I've ever said.
When I got sober for the second time and I spoke to my counselor,
I said,
Carl,
Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
And he did.
He told me he laid it out and I listened.
And so that leads me to step number five is to listen.
When you ask for somebody's feedback,
Listen.
I recently did this podcast interview on the podcast,
She's Hungry.
And one of the things that I said is sometimes we need to shut up so we can listen more.
So listen.
Listen to what the other person has to say,
But also realize that your intuition will guide you.
But in that moment,
When your emotions are heightened,
It's good to get that feedback.
So you got to be willing to listen.
What does listening look like?
When someone's giving you their feedback that you've asked for,
You're not listening from a place of,
Oh,
They're wrong or what do they know?
No,
Like you're intently listening to what they have to say.
You're like,
Okay,
I'm just going to take it in.
I don't necessarily need to do anything about it right now,
But I'm just going to listen.
Let them plant that seed of logic in your head.
Let them plant that feedback in your head,
That guidance,
That wisdom,
The suggestion.
Just listen.
And when they're done,
Say,
You know what?
Thank you so much.
I appreciate your time.
Step six,
You're going to get some options.
You're probably going to have what you think you need to do.
You're going to get some feedback from the person that you've called or persons that you've called.
And you might have multiple options laid out in front of you.
So if you are in a relationship and let's just say you're like,
I don't know if I should break up with this person.
I'm just going to use relationships for an example here,
But you can use this with any situation.
I don't know if I should break up with this person.
And if you have one person that says to you,
I think you need space and you just need to spend time and focus on yourself.
That doesn't mean cut the person out of your life.
Just get some space.
So you get that as one option.
Or if somebody else says,
Screw them,
Block them on all social media platforms and block them from your phone and never talk to them again.
That sounds a little emotional,
To be honest.
So whoever's telling you that maybe just needs to stop and calm down.
But let's just say that's one of your options.
Let's just say another option is why don't you write them a letter?
Why don't you send them a text telling them how you feel?
So you've been presented with these options,
Right?
And then you maybe have your own option.
Maybe you have something that you want to be doing and how to deal with the situation.
You're going to be presented with options.
That's step number six is you have these options.
You're going to filter your options.
This is how you filter your options.
This is what I do.
This is what works.
I write down my list of all the options and I look at them and I go through them and I say them out loud.
And the first feeling that I have or the first thought that I have around it,
Like I could do this,
This feels good to me.
This feels aligned with me.
This is not going out of character for me.
This is aligned with my principles and my morals.
Put a check mark on that.
That's one of your viable options.
If let's say option number two in this situation was cut them out of your life and your initial gut reaction is that's a little too harsh.
Like,
I don't think I want to do that.
Cross it out because here's the thing.
Yes,
You're getting feedback from other people.
Yes,
You're getting options,
But this is also a great opportunity.
This is where I really want you to start practicing listening to your intuition,
Walking according to your moral compass,
To your values,
To your principles.
So you have options from other people,
But then also ask yourself,
Does this feel good to me?
Does this feel aligned with my morals?
Does this feel aligned with my principles?
If it does,
Put a check mark.
If it doesn't cross them out,
Cross it out.
So the goal usually is to get down to two.
And if you have like,
Boss,
I still have like four options,
Do this exercise again,
Get it down to as little as possible.
And so step seven is to pick your option.
Pick the option that you feel is most aligned with who you are,
That you feel will help you uncomplicate your life and your business in a simple manner.
Now when I say simple manner,
It may not be the easiest thing for you to do.
It may require you to have to walk away.
It may require you to have to delegate.
It may require you having to take things off your plate or say no,
Or do something that you're not used to doing,
But is it going to help you uncomplicate your life and your business?
That's when you got to get honest with yourself,
Right?
So step seven is to pick that option.
What is that?
And realize it may not always feel comfortable,
But sit with that option.
Pick that option.
Sit with that.
Sit with it for a little bit.
Not like a month,
But sit with it.
Because what I want you to get into the habit of knowing is that your intuition will never fail you.
You already have the answers.
So what I'm essentially asking you to do is reach out,
Get that support,
And ultimately become your own guide.
Listen to your voice.
Go from a heightened emotional state to a more logical state,
And you will come to that decision.
Your logic tied in with your morals,
Your values,
Your principles,
With a simple solution will help you uncomplicate whatever it is that you're going through.
So pick that option.
And lastly,
You got to take action.
What is the one thing you're going to do to uncomplicate the situation based on the option that you just picked?
And then go do it.
So I want you to do,
Once you pick that option,
Whatever that one option is,
Step number seven,
Write it down for step number eight.
Say,
One thing that I'm going to do to uncomplicate the situation is,
And write down what that action is.
Is it cancel an appointment?
Is it have a conversation with somebody?
Is it declutter?
Is it take something off my calendar?
This is based on your situation.
You've received feedback from people.
You've been honest with them.
You're being honest with yourself.
You're listening.
You're listening to other,
The people in your life who are giving you feedback.
You're listening to yourself.
So do that one thing,
The one thing,
The one action you're going to take.
This is what I promise.
I don't need you to take three to five actions right away.
But if you take the next best step that is aligned with the option that you've picked,
That is going to help uncomplicate your life and your business and your career,
Whatever situation you're going through,
There will be a domino effect.
When you take the next best step,
It will have a ripple effect.
You'll start to feel proud of yourself.
You'll start to feel ease.
You'll start to feel unburdened.
You'll start to think clearly and you'll start uncomplicating things in your life,
Little by little,
One day at a time.
So these are the eight steps to uncomplicate your life and any situation that's thrown your way.
If you ever need somebody to talk to,
I am here for you.
I've been told that I'm the most logical person that people know and it's taken me a really long time to get to this place.
My emotions,
While I love being so deeply connected to things,
When it comes to making bigger decisions and even small decisions in my life,
My logic has really guided me.
And it's my logic plus my morals,
My principles,
My values,
Knowing myself and I do what's best for me.
And so in working with you,
My goal and my mission is always to help you make the decision that is best for you according to who you are and what you want.
There is no formulaic approach here.
I mean,
I guess I've listed out steps.
So what I mean is you are your best guide and sometimes we just need somebody in our life that can help us focus on solutions,
Someone that we can speak our truth to,
Someone that is willing to listen to us and give honest,
Honest feedback and guidance based on their own life experience.
And ultimately you are the decision maker of your life and you got to be willing and start to trust yourself.
So I hope this helps.
If you're looking for any more trainings,
I have a bunch over at my website at VasaviKumar.
Com forward slash freebies.
If you need help with uncomplicating anything in your life and you want to schedule a quick session with me,
I just said session with me,
Email me at Vasavi at VasaviKumar.
Com and I will get you all scheduled.
And in the meantime,
Just remember that you are your best guide and you have what it takes to uncomplicate your life,
Your business,
Your relationships and anything that life throws your way.
Thank you so much for listening.
Namaste.
