Healing Invisible Family Loyalties: Family Constellations

So hi everyone and thank you for joining me.

I am honored to guide you today through this unique exploration.

Now there's something fascinating that happens in families that most of us never recognize.

We make silent promises,

Invisible contracts of loyalty that we are not consciously aware of.

Now some of these loyalties,

Agreements or limitations or even limiting beliefs sound like I will struggle with money so you don't feel alone in your financial stress or I will never be happier than you were or I will carry your sadness so you know that you are not forgotten.

And these loyalties often live in our subconscious mind,

In the shadows of our consciousness,

Quietly directing our choices,

Limiting our possibilities in life and keeping us tied to family patterns in ways that might not serve anyone including the family members that we are trying to protect.

So today we'll try to eliminate these hidden agreements and learn how to love your family without being bound by invisible chains.

So if you resonate,

Find a comfortable position where you can rest completely sitting up,

Lying down and just let your eyes close gently now.

We're about to explore one of the most subtle and powerful forces that may be affecting you in your life.

Just letting my words guide you.

So now imagine that beneath every family there is an underground network of invisible contracts,

Unspoken agreements about who gets to have what,

Who's allowed to succeed,

Who must carry the pain and who's responsible for keeping everyone together.

Now these contracts were not written in ink but in love,

In fear and the deep human need to belong.

They were not signed with your hand but with your heart and often when you were very young and wanted to ensure your place in that family system.

So with this as our inquiry today,

Let's ask this intelligent field that if I'm carrying any invisible agreements,

Family loyalties that may be limiting me,

It is my intention now to sense these invisible agreements in my body.

I'm bypassing my conscious mind and I'm going to my body and I'm asking if I'm carrying any invisible agreements from my family that may be limiting me,

I am now open to sensing them and just breathe and see what comes up.

Now sometimes they feel like invisible ropes around your chest,

A very very heavy weight on your shoulders,

A heaviness in your stomach that you can't explain or for some of you it might just be thoughts,

It might just be a knowing or it might be another way that you're being made aware of this.

Now you might notice thoughts that arise when you imagine yourself being truly successful,

Deeply happy or completely free but what about I couldn't do that too or they would feel.

Now these whispers reveal your invisible contracts.

Now we'll use a little bit of visualization and we'll be a little bit creative to try and move this energy.

Imagine now that your family is gathered in a very very large room for an auction.

Imagine your family gathered in a large room for a silent auction but instead of bidding on objects family members are unconsciously bidding on who will carry what burdens,

Who will sacrifice what dreams and who will limit themselves in their service to the family system.

Now picture the young you,

The little you in this room.

I may see myself as my younger self or something else.

Picture the young you in this room looking around at the adults you loved and needed.

It could be your parents,

Grandparents,

Uncles,

Aunts,

Whatever is showing up for you.

This is my family system and the little me is just looking around.

These are all the people that I love and I need.

Sensing their pain,

Their struggles and their unfulfilled dreams.

Now without anyone saying a word you started to make those bids.

I'll take the anxiety so mom doesn't have to carry it alone.

I'll limit my success so dad doesn't feel like a failure.

I'll never leave home emotionally so no one feels abandoned.

I'll struggle in relationships so I don't threaten my family's way of being.

And see yourself now as a loving child making these generous but unconscious offers of pure love simply out of the need to belong.

Now feel compassion for that young person who was so willing to sacrifice their own possibilities to take care of the family system.

This little you that you are seeing,

This can also be the part of you that's ancestrally entangled.

There is a little part of me in my soul that consciously chose to take on loyalties,

Pains,

Struggles,

Limiting beliefs from those that came before me and now I'm seeing that ancestrally entangled part of me only chose this out of a need to belong to the family.

I am seeing that now.

I'm receiving that insight now.

And the promises,

The burdens,

The contracts could be many and any.

The nature of them doesn't matter.

It may be deeply personal to you and your life.

Now imagine that each of these loyalties,

Each of these contracts created an invisible backpack that you've been carrying through life.

I may have a backpack filled with family sadness.

I may have another backpack with inherited fears.

Another one packed with guilt about being different.

Feel yourself wearing these backpacks right now.

And you might also sense or see what's in your backpacks.

What am I carrying?

What did I take from these auctions?

One might contain your mother's disappointments.

One might create,

One might hold your father's unexpressed anger.

And another could be the family shame about money or success or happiness.

Just trust whatever is showing up for you.

Now you've been so used to carrying these backpacks that you forgot they were not originally yours.

You've been hiking through life with this extra weight,

Wondering why everything feels so much harder than it should be.

Now dropping into the body once again,

Take a moment to feel the weight you've been carrying that doesn't belong to you.

Take a moment to feel the weight that you've been carrying that doesn't belong to you.

How has this invisible cargo affected your energy,

Your choices and your possibilities in life?

Notice if there is a voice inside you that is always watching to make sure that you don't exceed these invisible family limits.

Don't become too different or don't threaten the family's identity by succeeding where they could not.

And this internal voice,

It might sound like,

Who do you think you are?

If you change too much you won't belong anymore.

You're forgetting where you came from.

Now the voice isn't trying to hurt you,

It's trying to keep you safe within the family system.

It learned that belonging meant staying within certain boundaries and it's just been doing its job of enforcing those boundaries.

Now you may be having a feeling in your body,

Something may have come to your awareness or you may just have a knowing or you're just sitting here and receiving this healing to see what shows up for you today.

Whatever your experience is,

We are now going to transform these invisible loyalties from unconscious bonds into conscious choices.

Now using a little bit of visualization again and simply receiving my words is also enough for this healing to happen.

Just see what shows up for you.

There's no right or wrong way of doing this.

I can now imagine stepping into a beautiful chamber of golden light.

I am now stepping into a beautiful chamber of golden light,

A space where old contracts can be lovingly dissolved and new agreements can be consciously created.

In this chamber you can review your invisible contracts without judgment.

Look at each loyalty agreement with curiosity.

When did I agree to this?

What was I trying to protect?

How has this served me?

How is it limiting me now?

Anything that's in your awareness today,

You may be aware of something that you are carrying from your family members,

From your mother,

From your father,

From someone else or it's just a knowing that this could be happening for me.

Just see that loyalty,

That belief as a contract that you're holding and as you stand inside this golden chamber now,

Imagine gently tearing up the old agreement now.

As you're doing this,

Send love to the family member you were trying to help.

You don't need to know who they are or you may know who they are and just receive my words now.

I love you enough to stop limit limiting myself.

I love you enough to stop limiting myself.

I love you enough to stop limiting myself.

I trust you to carry your own experiences.

I trust you to carry your own experiences.

I trust you to carry your own experiences.

See it in your mind,

Feel it in your body.

Now in this golden chamber,

Not only do you get to release,

To tear up old contracts,

You now also get to write new agreements.

Conscious contracts based on love rather than invisible loyalties.

Instead of I will struggle so you don't feel alone,

We now write I will succeed and show you what's possible.

Instead of I will carry your pain,

I write I will hold space for your pain while carrying my own joy.

Instead of I will never outgrow you,

I write I will grow and bring back gifts from my journey.

Feel yourself now signing these new agreements with golden ink as you honor both your authentic self and those that came before you.

Now we are going to return to your family any responsibilities,

Emotions or limitations that you've been carrying that were never yours to begin with.

Imagine now all those invisible backpacks,

All those burdens that you took out of love.

One by one in this golden chamber lovingly return to their rightful owners and we'll just use a general statement here.

Dear father,

Dear mother and all those that came before me,

Any entanglements,

Burdens,

Beliefs,

Patterns that I may have taken on from you consciously or unconsciously out of love for the family soul,

I can now choose to leave them with you.

I leave these with you.

I leave these with you.

I leave these with you.

Just breathing now and sensing,

Feeling and seeing this energy dissipate.

Whatever needs to shift for you today is happening.

I can just sit and allow and remember this is not abandonment.

This is the deepest form of respect.

You're trusting that your family members can carry their own experiences and learn their own lessons.

Feel the relief as these invisible weights now lift from your shoulders,

Your heart and your entire being.

Feel what it's like to be a member of this family who is bound by love and not loyalty,

Connected by choice not contracts.

You can celebrate your family's success without feeling threatened.

You can acknowledge their struggles without feeling responsible to carry it and you can authentically be yourself without feeling guilty.

Now this is mature family love.

A love that allows everyone to be fully themselves.

Love that celebrates each person's growth and it doesn't require struggle to maintain connection.

And I'll say this again,

It doesn't require struggle to maintain connection.

So with this awareness,

With this healing,

With this insight,

Trust that whatever you brought in today,

This will continue to integrate in your being over the next few hours,

Days and weeks.

And now as we prepare to complete this journey,

You can place both your hands on your heart and feel the freedom that comes from loving your family without being bound by invisible loyalties.

You are still connected to your family,

Perhaps more authentically than ever before.

But now you're connected through conscious love rather than unconscious contracts,

Through choice rather than obligation.

I honour everything that I let go of today.

I honour everything that I brought in today.

I honour all the possibilities of my future.

Take three breaths.

And feeling fully free to be yourself.

You can gently open your eyes.

You can return to this whenever you need to.

And when old loyalty patterns resurface,

Just remember,

I can honour them and still be myself.

I can stay connected and still grow.

You're now free to be yourself while remaining beautifully connected to those that you love.

Thank you very much for joining me.

And namaste.