So this video is for you.
If you have had a struggle with a friend,
Maybe you've had an argument or you feel like you haven't been seen or heard or some dynamic is changing that's causing you distress.
I'm not going to sit here and give you advice,
But maybe take a few minutes,
Do some reflection,
Maybe process through some energy and get some insight,
Possibly some answers.
Let me start first by just sharing a short story.
I was at a meditation center for a long time.
And one day I became the director of that center,
The head honcho,
The big boss.
And one of my friends who was also at the center started to change around me.
I could feel a sense of competition,
Of distance,
Maybe even of envy.
And I did everything I could.
I kind of walked on eggshells.
I tried to be extra nice.
He'll fix the situation,
Which was probably not the best way to go about it.
And then one day that person just snapped at me in rage.
And I realized I was approaching it one way,
Which is we have a friendship,
And he was approaching it a different way,
Which is he felt threatened or insecure.
And that really exploded between us.
And I didn't have the tools at the time to repair it and communicate well and manage the energy properly.
I kind of just went,
Ah!
Why would someone be mean?
Not realizing he had his own pain.
That being said,
There's a saying I love,
All relationships have a season,
A reason,
Or a lifetime.
Sometimes it's time for a relationship to end or friendship to end.
Other times,
Maybe you just need better communication and it's going to,
You know,
Whatever rift there is will actually help deepen the relationship.
We don't have to decide which one it is for you at the moment.
But if there's something you're struggling with in a friendship,
Why don't you right now check in with yourself and see.
Is there an energy here that I'm struggling with?
And what is that energy?
So you can,
Even with your eyes open,
Just feel into that for a moment.
So is there a sense of not being seen or heard,
Of feeling like you're being judged,
Or someone is being cold with you or selfish,
Or perhaps you acted in a way that you don't feel great about and now you feel guilty or shame?
So just take a moment and see what is the energy that created this conflict or rift with a friend.
And without any judgment,
We're not trying to fix it or heal it or even analyze it.
I want you to just see if you see if you can take a moment and sense it.
What does it feel like in your body?
Is it heavy?
Is there sadness or grief?
Is there confusion?
Uncertainty.
Take a moment and just get a sense.
What is it here?
What is this energy I'm struggling with?
That maybe I'm spinning around or stuck on.
Maybe words come out of that,
Maybe some answer,
Or it's just still kind of like if you're creating a clay pot,
You're just working with some material that hasn't formed.
And wherever you are,
That is totally fine.
One of the things I'm sure of is that if this is really affecting you,
It's probably because you care.
So if you care about a friendship,
Then you care if it is strained or if it's broken.
Or if it doesn't feel good in some way.
So can you.
.
.
Validate yourself that you care.
If you didn't care,
We wouldn't be here.
You would have moved on a while ago.
And friendships are so beautiful.
They're so special.
When I lived in Hawaii,
I learned so much about showing up for the community,
For other people,
For your neighbors,
For your friends,
Being of service.
And that always really stuck with me.
And if you ask any of my friends,
They'll tell you I take my friendship very seriously.
And they tend to last a long,
Long time.
So I want you to notice whatever energy is arising.
Eyes open or closed.
Acknowledge it,
Have some compassion for yourself.
And just get a sense of how much you care.
And perhaps that you want to resolve whatever this energy is.
And just be honest with it.
And then as you sit with this for a moment,
Perhaps there's a next step here.
Is it just sitting still and processing more?
Is it communicating something?
Is it uncovering some kind of pain from previous friendships or other relationships?
Is there something here that you really want to learn and deepen into?
You might get a sense of,
You know what,
This friendship isn't safe.
It's not serving me anymore.
I would actually like to end it.
Or I want to repair it.
I want to deepen into it and I'm willing to.
Take the steps necessary.
That person might be as well.
Maybe they're not.
You might have to find out.
And just as we're here,
Maybe you just let go of some pain around conflict.
Conflict is painful,
Especially if you're sensitive,
If you're a healer.
If you want everyone to feel good.
Conflict can be very painful.
But it can also lead to a lot of growth and change and clarity.
Take a nice big deep breath in with me.
Sigh it out.
Ah.
And lastly,
Say hello to that energy inside you.
Of where you have the capacity to show up.
That's a lot of what friendship is about,
Showing up.
Say hello to that capacity to be a good friend.
Where you don't just want something from someone else.
But there's a camaraderie,
A connection.
There's a vibe.
Thank you.
Well,
Thank you for hanging with me.
And I wish you the best in this friendship and all of them and healing them and going deep with them.
I'll see you soon.
