Welcome kindred,
It's Jessica.
If you are here then you are probably in one of those low,
Stuck,
Overwhelmed or lost places that are hard to inhabit and also hard to explain.
That feeling is real.
It is okay to feel this way.
I'm offering this guided journey to meet you in that place.
You can land here exactly as you are,
Unmoored,
Uncertain,
Tired.
Let's begin.
Find a comfortable position,
Whether that's sitting or lying down,
Whichever feels right for your body right now.
Just find that and settle in.
Let your hands rest wherever they feel most natural.
And when you're ready,
Just allow your eyes to gently close.
Take a breath in and let it go.
Just notice your breathing as you breathe in and as you release.
Noticing your breathing in this way helps to come back to the body,
To the here and now,
To the present.
Just allow yourself to breathe and to land.
So let your awareness now just travel through your body,
Starting at the top of your head.
Is there any tension there in your scalp,
In your forehead?
Just notice.
You may find that it relaxes when you bring your awareness there,
But if it doesn't,
That's okay too.
Just bring in awareness and attention down through your face,
Behind your ears,
Your jaw.
So many of us carry the weight of unsaid things there.
Just see if it will soften,
Or if not,
That's fine too.
Continue to sweep your awareness down now through your neck,
Your shoulders,
Down to your arms,
Your elbows,
Your wrists,
Your hands,
Your fingers,
To your chest,
Your belly,
Down the length of your back.
Noticing any areas where you are holding tight.
Noticing any areas where there is ease.
Continue bringing your awareness down through your hips,
Your knees,
All the way down to your feet.
And just feel your body resting,
Held by the surface beneath you.
You're safe.
You're held.
You are here,
Present in this moment.
Bring your attention back to your breathing now.
And as you breathe,
You notice that your breath is moving you like a tide.
The in-breath rises you up.
And then the out-breath swings you back gently down.
You can feel that rocking motion of your breath and your body as you rise and just enjoy that feeling.
And now expand your awareness out and imagine yourself in a boat,
A small boat,
Solid beneath you,
Just the right size for you.
You're lying or sitting in it,
Wrapped in something warm,
A blanket maybe,
Something soft beneath you.
You're cozy.
You're held.
And the boat is rocking with that same rhythm as your breath.
Just feel what that is like now to be held in that boat.
With the rocking motion of your breath as the tide.
You're cozy in your boat on the water,
Calm water gently lapping at the boat.
Around you,
There is mist,
Soft and close.
You cannot see where you're going in your boat.
You cannot see the shore that you've come from.
In this moment,
There is only this,
The boat.
The gentle rocking,
The mist and you.
And it is okay.
Nothing bad is actually happening.
This is just the mist,
Which is the midst too of the not knowing.
We all come here from time to time.
If we can soften into it and not feel we have to fight against it,
To know before we're ready,
If we can just land here,
Be in our boat,
Feel the rocking.
Be held and moved at the same time.
And to know that this is not dangerous.
This is life.
You don't need to know where you are right now.
You don't need to be able to see through the mist to see where you're going.
Just allow yourself to be here.
In your boat.
In this moment,
Held by the boat and the water beneath you.
Just breathing.
Allow that now.
Stay here.
Feel that rocking.
Soothing.
Breathing.
Something does begin to shift.
You notice that the mist is thinning slowly.
Just a softening at the edges.
And you get that feeling of space opening above you.
Gradually.
Slowly.
You can see the sky.
It is night.
And the sky is so clear,
It takes your breath away.
Stars beyond counting.
Not the few pale ones we can see through city lights,
But all of them.
Layer upon layer upon layer of them.
Ancient light reaching across unimaginable distances to find you here in your small boat,
Safe on the water.
There,
A shooting star,
Gone almost before you see it,
But you did see it.
And there,
The slow,
Sure light of a planet,
Patient,
Fixed.
You feel perhaps very small under the sky,
And somehow that smallness is a relief.
You are one small being in an unimaginably vast and ancient universe.
And the universe is not asking anything extra of you.
It is simply here.
And so are you.
And there's something else too.
Because you are not separate from all of this.
You are made of it.
The same stuff as stars,
The same ancient impulse towards light.
You are not lost in this vast,
Vast universe.
You are part of its fabric,
A thread in the web,
Essential and held always.
Look at the stars again.
And as you do,
You notice something.
Your boat is moving.
It has been moving all along.
The water carrying you.
And looking up at the sky.
You can see that you are not drifting aimlessly.
You see the stars.
And there is one particular star that is calling you.
Your eyes keep returning to.
You are following that star.
You may not know what it is.
But you might.
You may not be able to name it or explain it or justify it to anyone.
But it is there.
That direction that isn't quite a destination.
But is unmistakably a direction.
You don't need to steer right now.
The water knows.
All that is asked of you is to stay in your boat.
To breathe with the tide.
To keep your eyes open for the stars when the mist clears.
To trust that even when you don't see the stars,
That you are in the flow of your life.
Even when it feels like drifting.
You are not lost.
You are always part of the web.
Take a breath in.
And let it go.
You are in your life.
All of it.
The uncertainty,
The not knowing,
The in-between.
This too is your life.
And it is moving.
Even now.
Even here.
You can return to your boat whenever you need to.
To check back in with your guiding star.
But for now,
Slowly begin to bring your awareness back to your body.
To the surface beneath you.
To the sounds around you.
Feel the weight of your body on the surface beneath you.
Perhaps wiggle your fingers,
Wiggle your toes.
And when you are ready,
Open your eyes.
Welcome back.
Welcome fully back into the flow of your life.
I hope that this journey resonated with you.
And if so,
I'd love to hear about your experience,
Your journey in the comments.
Warmest,
Warmest blessings.
And I'll see you very soon.