My dear fear of money,
I see you.
I see you right now.
I see you bright and clear.
I know you are here to make me feel insecure about me,
About the path that I'm choosing,
About my future.
I know it's hard to be in this place of uncertainty,
Of not knowing how much will I make or what will I do if this doesn't work out.
But I see you so very clearly.
And a part of me wants to surrender to you.
A part of me wants to give up.
A part of me wants to just follow the secure path where I know what I can do.
And that part is stronger today.
But there is also a part of me that wants to expand and explore and experiment.
That part of me that I've kept hidden for years in this false pretext of being secure,
It cannot stay put anymore.
It is too big,
It is too loud,
And it is too powerful for me to succumb to the pressure.
That part of me wants to grow and fly.
That part of me wants to dream bigger than I have ever done before.
And that part of me also wants to explore what's within me that I haven't used yet.
And you know what?
In spite of your presence,
I'm allowing that part,
The stronger part of me,
The dreamer part of me to come forth and take charge.
Yes,
I know the path wouldn't be easy.
Yes,
I know I'll have to deal with a lot of insecurities.
I know all this.
And yet,
For some stronger reason that I cannot define or put my finger on,
I want to follow that trail,
That dreaminess,
That deeper calling of my soul without any securities,
Without any assurances.
I want to follow that unknown path.
I want to follow and see where it leads me,
Because that's what I'm made for.
I'm not here to just do what you command me to.
I'm here to expand,
To experience life,
To see and discover the gifts that I have,
And to share it with the world.
And while I love you,
And while I love the idea of security,
I feel the more I hold on to you,
I become less of me.
I shrink to fit into the desires of others.
I live the dream of others and not mine.
So I'm letting you go.
I'm letting you go for now,
So that I can step into my power,
And I can believe in myself,
And I can believe in my worth.
Because the truth is,
You don't define my worth,
But I do.
And to be able to do that,
I must go on this journey.
Because it is here that I find my true,
Authentic self.
Thank you for being here.
I appreciate you.
But I love myself way too much to surrender to you.
