Welcome to Sleep Stories with Steph.
It is time to relax and fully let go.
There is nothing you need to be doing now and nowhere you need to go.
Close your eyes and feel yourself sink into the support beneath you.
And let all the worries of the day drift away.
This is your time and your space.
Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out with a long sigh.
There is nothing you need to be doing now and nowhere you need to go.
Happy listening.
An Unconventional Confidence The girl in black and yellow ran frantically down the grey road under the pines.
There was nobody to see her,
But she would have run if all Halifax had been looking on.
For had she not on the loveliest new hat,
A creation in yellow chiffon with big black shoe and a dress to match,
And was there not a shower coming straight from the hills across the harbour?
Down at the end of the long resinous avenue,
The girl saw the shore road,
With a pavilion shutting out the view of the harbour's mouth.
Below the pavilion,
Clean-shaven George's Island guarded the town like a sturdy bulldog,
And beyond it were the wooded hills already lost in a mist of rain.
Oh,
I shall be too late,
Moaned the girl,
But she held her hat steady with one hand and ran on.
If she could only reach the pavilion in time.
It was a neck-and-neck race between the rain and the girl,
But the girl won.
Just as she flew out upon the shore road,
A tall young man came pelting down the ladder,
And they both dashed up the steps of the pavilion together as the rain swooped down upon them and blotted George's Island and the smoky town in the purple banks of the eastern passage from view.
The pavilion was small at the best of times,
And just now the rain was beating into it on two sides,
Leaving only one dry corner.
Into this the girl moved.
She was flushed and triumphant.
The young man thought that in all his life he had never seen anyone so pretty.
I'm glad I didn't get my hat wet,
Said the girl,
Breathlessly,
As she straightened it with a careful hand and wondered if she looked very blown and blousy.
It would have been a pity,
Admitted the young man.
It's a very pretty hat.
Pretty?
The girl looked the scorn her voice expressed.
Anyone could have a pretty hat.
Our cook has one.
This is a good one.
Creation?
Of course,
Said the young man,
Humbly.
I ought to have known,
But I am very stupid.
Well,
I suppose a mere man couldn't be expected to understand everything,
Said the girl,
Graciously.
She smiled at him in a friendly fashion,
And he smiled back.
The girl thought she'd never seen such a lovely brown pair of eyes before.
He could not be a Halligonian.
She was sure she knew all the nice young men with brown eyes in Halifax.
Please sit down,
She said plaintively.
I'm tired.
The young man smiled again at the idea of his sitting down,
Because the girl was tired.
But he sat down anyway,
And so did she,
On the only dry seats to be found.
Goodness knows how long this rain will last,
She said,
Making herself comfortable.
But I shall stay here till it clears up.
If it rains for a week,
I will not have my hat spoiled.
I suppose I shouldn't have put it on.
Beatrix said it was going to rain.
Beatrix is such a horribly good prophet.
I detest people who are good prophets,
Don't you?
I think they're responsible for all the evils they predict,
Said the young man solemnly.
That's just what I told Beatrix.
I was determined to put on this hat and come out to the park.
I had to be alone,
And I knew I'd be alone out here.
Everybody else will be at the football game.
By the way,
Why aren't you there?
I wasn't even sure there was a football game,
Said the young man,
As if he knew he ought to be ashamed of his ignorance.
Dear me,
Said the girl pittingly,
Where can you have been not to have heard of the football game?
It's between the Dalhousie team and the Wanderers.
Almost everybody here is on the Wanderer's side because they're Haligonians,
But I'm not.
I like the college boys best.
Beatrix says it's just because of my innate contrariness.
Last year I simply screamed myself hoarse with enthusiasm that Dalhousie team won the trophy.
If you're so interested in the game,
It's a wonder you didn't go to see it yourself,
Said the young man boldly.
But I just couldn't,
Said the girl with a sigh.
If anybody ever told me there'd be a football game in Halifax,
And I'd elect to prowl about by myself in the park instead of going to it,
I'd have laughed them to scorn.
Even Beatrix would have dared to prophecy that.
But you see,
It has happened.
I was too crumbled up in my mind to care about football today.
I had to come here and I had to have it out with myself.
That's why I put on my hat.
I thought perhaps I might get through with my mental gymnastics in time and then go on to the game afterwards.
But I didn't.
It's just maddening.
I got this hat and dress on purpose to wear it.
They're black and yellow,
You see,
The Dalhousie colours,
And it was all my own idea.
I was going to make such a sensation,
But then I couldn't go to the game after all,
Feeling as I did.
Could I now?
The young man said,
Of course,
That she couldn't.
It was utterly out of the question.
The girl smiled.
Without a smile,
She was charming.
With a smile,
She was adorable.
I like to have my opinions bolstered up.
Do you know,
I want to tell you something,
May I?
You may.
I'll never tell anyone as long as I live,
Said the young man solemnly.
I don't know you and you don't know me.
That's why I want to tell you about it.
I must tell somebody.
If I told anyone I knew,
They'd tell it all over Halifax.
It's dreadful to be talking to you like this.
Beatrix would have three feats,
One after the other,
If she saw me.
But Beatrix is a slave to conventionality.
I claw in discarding it at times.
You don't mind,
Do you?
Not at all,
Said the young man sincerely.
The girl sighed.
I've reached that point where I must have a confident or I'll go crazy.
Once I could tell things to Beatrix,
But that was before she got engaged.
Now she tells everything to him.
There's no earthly way of preventing her.
I've tried them all.
So nowadays when I get into trouble,
I tell it out loud to myself in the glass and it is a relief.
But that's no good.
I want to tell it to someone who can say things back.
Will you promise to say things back?
The young man assured the girl he would when the proper time came.
Very well then,
But please don't look at me while I'm telling you.
I'll be sure to blush in places.
When Beatrix wants to be particularly aggravating,
She says,
I have lost the art of blushing.
But that's only her way of putting it,
You know.
Sometimes I blush dreadfully.
The young man dragged his eyes from the face under the black and yellow hat and fastened them onto the crooked pine tree that hung out over the bank.
Well,
Began the girl,
The root of the whole trouble is simply this.
There's a young man in England.
I always think of him as the creature.
He's the son of a man who was father's a special crony in boyhood before father emigrated to Canada.
Worse than that,
He comes of a family which has contracted a vile habit of marrying into our family.
It's come down through the ages so long it's become chronic.
Father left most of his musty traditions in England,
But he brought this pet one with him.
He and this friend agreed the latter son should marry one of father's daughters.
It ought to have been Beatrix.
She's the oldest.
Beatrix had a pug nose and father settled on me.
From my earliest recollection,
I've been given to understand soon as I grew up,
There will be a ready-made husband imported from England.
I was doomed to it from my cradle.
Now,
Said the girl with a tragic gesture,
I ask you,
Could anything be more hopeless?
Could anything be more stupid and devoid of romance than that?
The young man shook his head,
But he did not look at her.
It's pretty bad,
He admitted.
You see,
Said the girl pathetically,
The shadow of it's been over my whole life.
Of course,
When I was a very little girl,
I didn't mind it so much.
It was such a long way off.
Lots of things might happen.
The creature might run away with some other girl or he might have the smallpox or Beatrix's nose might be straight when she grew up.
If her nose was straight,
She'd be a great deal prettier than I am.
Nothing did happen and her nose is puckier than ever.
Then when I grew up,
Things were horrid.
I never could have a single little bit of fun.
Beatrix had such a good time.
She had scores of lovers in spite of her nose.
To be sure she's engaged now,
He's a horrid fatty little creature,
But he's her own choice.
She wasn't told there was a man in England whom she must marry.
Is there anyone else?
Asked the young man hesitantly.
No,
How could there be?
You know,
I couldn't have the tiniest flirtation with another man when I was as good as engaged to the creature.
That is one of my grievances,
Said the girl.
Just think how much fun I've missed.
I used to rage to Beatrix about it,
But she told me I ought to be thankful to have the chance of making such a good match.
The creature's rich,
You know,
And clever,
I've heard.
As if I care how clever or rich he is.
He might be very nice after all,
Suggested the young man.
Nice?
That's not the point.
But you're a man,
You can't understand.
He must take my word for it.
The whole thing makes me furious.
But I haven't told you the worst.
The creature's on his way out to Canada now.
He might arrive here any minute.
And also aggravatingly delighted.
What do you suppose he feels like?
Asked the young man reflectively.
Well,
Said the girl frankly,
I've been too much taken up with my own feelings to worry about his.
But I dare say they're pretty much like mine.
He must loathe and detest the very thought of me.
I don't think he does,
Said the young man gravely.
Well,
What do you suppose he does think of it all then?
You ought to understand the man's part of it better than I can,
Said the girl.
There's as much difference in men as in women,
Said the young man in an impersonal tone.
I might be right or wrong,
You see,
But I imagine he'd feel something like this.
From boyhood he's understood way out in Canada there's a little girl growing up who's someday to be his wife.
She becomes his boyish ideal of all that's good and true and he pictures her as beautiful and winsome and sweet.
For her sake he resolves to make the most of it himself and live a clean loyal life.
When she comes to him she must find his heart fit to receive her.
There's never a time in all his life when the dream of her does not gleam before him as a star.
The young man stopped abruptly and looked at the girl.
She bent forward with shiny eyes and touched his hand.
You are splendid,
She said softly.
If he thought so,
But no,
I'm sure he doesn't.
He's just coming up to you like a martyr going to the stake.
He knows he'll be expected to propose to me when he gets here and he knows I know it too and he knows and I know that I'll be expected to say my very prettiest yes.
But are you going to say it?
Asked the young man anxiously.
The girl leaned forward.
No,
That's my secret.
I'm going to say a most emphatic no.
Won't your family make an awful row?
Of course they will,
But I'd rather enjoy a row now and then and anyway I'm determined to say no.
I wouldn't make it so irreconcilable as all that,
Said the young man.
I'd leave a loophole if you were to like him a bit better than you expect.
It'd be awkward to have committed yourself by a rash vow to saying no,
Wouldn't it?
I suppose it would,
Said the girl thoughtfully,
But then you know I rarely change my mind.
It's just as well to be on the safe side,
Said the young man.
The girl got up.
The rain was over and the sun was coming out through the mists.
Perhaps you're right,
She said.
I'll resolve I will say no if I don't want to say yes.
That really amounts to the same thing,
You know.
Thanks so much for letting me tell you all about it.
I support you terribly but it's done me so much good.
I feel quite calm now.
I can go home and behave myself.
Goodbye.
Goodbye,
Said the young man gravely.
He stood on the pavilion and watched the girl out of sight beyond the pines.
When she got home she was told the Dalhousie team had won again.
She dragged off her hat and waved it joyously.
What a shame I wasn't there.
They'd have gone mad over my dress.
But the next item of information crushed her still more.
The creature had arrived.
He had called that afternoon and was coming to dinner that night.
How fortunate,
Said the girl as she went to her room,
That I relieved my mind to that young man out in the park today.
If I'd have come back with all that pent-up feeling seething within me and heard this news right on top of it all,
I might have flown into a thousand pieces.
What lovely brown eyes he had.
I do doubt on brown eyes.
The creature will be sure to be fishy blue ones.
When the girl went down to meet the creature,
She found herself confronted by the young man.
For the first,
Last and only time in her life,
The girl had not a word to say.
But her family thought her confusion very natural and pretty.
They really had not expected her to behave so well.
As for the young man,
His manner was flawless.
Towards the end of the dinner,
When the girl was beginning to recover herself,
The young man turned to her.
You know,
I never promised to tell,
He said.
Well,
Be sure you don't then,
Said the girl meekly.
But aren't you glad you left the loophole?
He persisted.
The girl smiled down into her lap.
Perhaps I am,
She said.
Perhaps I am.
