Surrendering To Find Your Light

It is like the wolves are caving in us.

We feel so attached to something.

We feel like if we don't get it,

We won't become the next thing.

We won't do the next thing.

We won't become or achieve what we want to achieve.

We are so attached that we hold so tight and nothing in the world can come in because we're holding the last bit of air so tight that no new air can come in.

It's like shutting the doors all around a building and as we shut each and every door,

There is no way that air,

That people,

That anything can float on in and come in to help us.

We hold tight to these attachments,

To these beliefs and these worries.

These worries that we're not good enough,

That we're not going to achieve this,

That we need this to do this and so we hold on so hard,

So,

So,

So,

So hard that we suffocate ourselves.

We suffocate ourselves from the world around us,

These holdings,

This hurt,

This pain,

This anger,

This guilt.

We're holding them so tight because we're scared that if we just let go,

Something else worse could happen.

And so with these holdings,

This hurt and this guilt,

We just allow it to be there because we feel like that's the only way around life.

We feel like that's the only way to do life and we feel like if we don't do it,

We're not going to be anyone and we're not going to achieve anything.

And so we continue to hold these grasps,

Continue to grasp onto the thing that we're attached to in fear that if we let go,

We'll lose everything.

And so we remain in that way of life and that thinking when we continue it and we battle it day after day,

Night after night in fear that if we let go,

Something worse would happen.

But what if,

What if we let go?

What if you decided to let go today?

What if you let go of that holding,

That attachment,

That fear,

That pain?

What if you let go?

What if you allowed yourself to feel it?

What if you allowed yourself to ride it and breathe with it?

I'm currently doing this myself as I've just moved out of my new old place into my new place and I had to let go of a lot of old clutter,

Old stuff that I thought I needed and I wanted.

I had to let go of my clothes.

I had to let go of the relationships I had formed.

I had to let go of the security of a uni degree and the security knowing that I had income coming from the government and income from my parents for support.

And I just had to let go.

I had to surrender.

And it was scary because I had just moved 24 hours away from my parents a year ago roughly.

And I had finally found a place where I felt at home and I was starting to build community and connection.

And I felt like I was someone.

And this someone was special to me because I could feel love for myself.

But then I moved and I had to let go.

And this is the letting go that we feel when we let go.

It's the letting go of knowing that regardless of what we're holding onto,

We're letting go in hope that there's a brighter future.

And this word of hope is a strong word for me because it's something that gives me the light that there's no more darkness.

And hope for you may not mean that,

But for me it means that there is a way out.

And so I would love you to just take a moment to think about something you're holding onto.

Be a relationship,

Be it a degree,

Be it a career,

Be it a family member,

Be it just clutter.

What are you holding onto?

Please think about this for a moment.

Now these holdings,

They're different for all of us.

And you may think it's a silly holding or you may think it's not.

But most of the time when I'm holding onto something,

It's something I feel is so important.

And I think if I tell anyone,

They will think I'm just silly for thinking that way.

And so often I don't tell people and I don't open up.

But something I am also learning to do is open up and share these holdings with other people.

And you might feel the same way that once you do start sharing,

It becomes easier and more accessible.

And these holdings,

When we share them,

They become weak and rigid.

And it's like they have no control over themselves anymore because we're finally admitting to ourselves in the world that we don't want these holdings.

And so whilst we are letting go of these holdings,

It's a challenge for all of us because these holdings are what brings us security.

And it's the security that gives us comfort in life.

And through the comfort we have purpose.

We feel like we have purpose.

We feel like we have a reason and that we're safe and that nothing will stop us and that we are secure in everything we do.

But like I said,

It's the insecurities,

It's the freedom and it's the opportunities to let go that brings us this hope that brings us bravery,

Which brings us strength to see a brighter light.

And this brighter light is somewhere out there ready for all of us to grasp.

It's ready for us all to grab.

This light shining so bright in the sky is what's waiting for you to grab it.

And you just have to have the go,

The momentum to go grab what you're worthy of.

And so commonly when we are letting go,

We're surrendering,

We have to sit with it for a little bit.

And for me,

I like to journal,

But more openly for me,

I love to paint and draw and just get my words in my head out in images for me to see.

And this is something that I find to really support and benefit me.

And then commonly I'll talk about it.

I'll talk to a girlfriend or close family member about it or a mentor.

And then these holdings,

These fears,

They become even weaker for me.

And so once I've spoken about it aloud,

I've drawn it,

I've journaled about it,

I then start to see that they're irrelevant in my life and they're irrelevant to me.

And these holdings,

I then start to see that they're suffocating me on my journey to who I'm becoming and what's next.

And it's just stepping out of the box and the surrendering to the what's next that allows us to see that there may be a light.

And I say may because sometimes we let go,

But we're still holding onto other things that won't allow us to see the light.

And so we have to go through this process again and again.

We might have to go through it two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Even 10 times before we have let go enough to allow the new opportunity to float on in.

And these new opportunities are just something spectacular.

You might get offered one and go,

No,

That's not for me.

And that's okay.

You don't have to bite at the first opportunity that comes to mind and that comes to light.

It might come through a message in the post from the friend.

It might just even be a thought flow that comes through.

It might be just a visual thing you see.

It's different for all of us and these new bits of light and these new sense of strength that's going to build us up.

They truly do present themselves differently to each of us.

And yet again,

When we get presented these lights of hope and strength,

We have to sometimes sit with it and journal about it and not jump into it.

And I can sometimes know that I've been caught to jump into decisions and commonly they've left me down a straight path yet again.

But these are just testers and challenges.

And it's okay to go through challenges and testers to find your light because at the end of the day,

If it's not for these challenges and testers in life,

We're not going to be able to find our true light and know what our light is for us.

So commonly we have to go through lots of different challenges and painful stories and hurt to be out of keep growing,

To keep letting go,

To keep surrendering.

And then we find our light,

Then we find the momentum and then we find the love in life.

And once we find that love,

Keep doing it because that is what your soul sing for.

That is what gives you the vitality and the strength and the wisdom and the love and joy to just keep shining.

And this shining star that you become and that you are is unstoppable.

It is so freaking attractive that when you are this light and you've achieved it through all the pain and all the suffering,

You knowing yourself that you are sure and you are secure and you are just strong.

You can stand strong and it doesn't matter what comes in your life to attack you because you know your purpose and you know your light.

And this light is what we are all worthy of.

We're all worthy of this vitality,

This love,

This joy,

This thing in life that lights us up and makes us glow from the inside out,

Not just the outside having perfect skin or from the inside either having a heart ready to give but not willing to receive.

It's when we find that light,

That thing that makes us jump out of bed and sing and just want to dance,

You know.

And you don't have to be a dancer to want to dance but you get what I'm saying.

It's that thing that just makes you want to sing.

And it might be receiving that career you want.

It might be that relationship.

It might be that house you wanted.

Or it might just be having security and sense of love for yourself.

Whatever it is for you,

Know that there's a journey and that there will be pain,

There will be suffering.

You might have to make challenges and mistakes again and again.

But the most important thing here for me to share with you is to let go,

Surrender and allow the hope to turn into strength,

To turn into a light.

Have a beautiful day divine beings,

Spiritual beings of just love and strength.

I trust in you so much and I know that regardless of how small you may feel,

How hurt or fearful you are,

There is a light inside of you waiting to shine.

So go get it dear one.

It's your time to surrender,

To let go and to find your light.