How Perfect Does This Need to Be

07:49

07:49

How Perfect Does This Need to Be

Rated

4.9

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

66

Release the ADHD pressure of over-performance by embracing a "good enough" standard that honors your energy. This session helps you recognize the burnout of perfectionism and provides a grounded way to prioritize what truly matters, so you can finish your work with less stress.

Adhd Productivity Stress Burnout Self Talk Uncertainty Perfectionism Management

Meet your Teacher

West Chester, PA, USA

Meet your Teacher

West Chester, PA, USA

Transcript

Perfect does this need to be? So perfectionism is definitely a big barrier to productivity, Right? Overdoing something, Making it better than it actually needs to be, Definitely a big thing. And as much as, I don't know, Like the obvious thought might be, Oh, People with ADHD, If they're not managing things well, They don't do things well enough, Right? That's true sometimes. Becomes you know in those situations the bigger barrier to productivity and getting things done so let's talk about how to manage that more effectively Um, You know, Part of this is if you get really sort of hyper-focused in, Right, You get sort of locked in and you lose track of time, You're just like really in the zone and the flow, That it's really easy to sort of like overdo it, Right? And you get sort of absorbed in what you're doing and lose sight of like, Okay, Wait, What is this for? Why am I doing it? How good does it need to be? Have I gone past the point where this isn't really as helpful anymore as it could be? Is that the task itself, Like, Meh, Not that interesting, But making it bigger, Making it better can be a way to sort of generate some motivation, Right? That's like just doing it the simple, Basic way, But like making it this big grand thing, Like now you're talking, Right? So there's that kind of part of it as well. So it's a good idea. It's a good strategy until you take it too far, Will be true of every good strategy. But overdoing a task can also be a form of procrastivity. So I kind of talked about this a few videos ago in the no, That's fake productivity, Right? That sort of overdoing this is a way of avoiding going over there and doing that. There's also the issue. So the procrastivity comes from my friend Russ Ramsey. This idea also comes from Russ Ramsey. He kind of talks about this, This thing of like this social capital of feeling like if, You know, Too often you sort of drop the ball or you fall short or you feel like you're falling short, There might be this thing where you feel like you have to overcompensate. Right. So kind of the classic example he gives is. A student misses a deadline on handing in a paper or asks for an extension beforehand, Maybe. And instead of writing like a five-page paper, Now that the professor has given them three more days, Now they're like, Now it needs to be twice as good. It needs to be three days better of a paper. So instead of writing a five-pager, Now they feel like they have to write like a 10-pager, Even though the professor never said that. And truthfully, The professor probably doesn't want to read five extra pages anyway. Feeling of like it's now it's got to be 10 so then they get like eight pages in and now they're not like they haven't hit 10 and they don't haven't hidden a good kind of concluding point and now they're missing the three-day extension deadline as well so If you feel like that's what's going on, Step back and like really ask yourself. Do I owe this person something extra? Like, Really, Really, Do I? Do I think they do? Do they think I do? Is this worth it? Is this actually going to be helpful? Or am I putting pressure on myself that goes beyond and really isn't actually helpful? It's kind of counterproductive at this point. So. Let's really get clear on this is, You know, To really get clear on what are you doing and why are you doing it? So if you're beginning to if you feel a pull to like overdo something, How does this task here fit compared to the all the other things I need to do? Right. There's still only 24 hours in a day. If I spend more time here, What's not being done here? Right. It's this idea of opportunity costs. It's an hour that's not available for any other thing. So if it's got to come from somewhere, What's it coming from? If this thing is super important, It's worth it. But if it's like not as important, Then it isn't. But the thing of it is, Is like this takes real cognitive effort, Right? To really sort of think about. How important is this? What else do I need to do? Is the extra time worth it? Is it not worth it? Also, By the way, What do I even else have to do, Right? Do I have a good to-do list? Do I have a good schedule? Am I aware of what else is sort of out there, So to speak? Right. So like. It's easy to say it, But it actually takes some real sort of thought and some other sort of things being in place to really make a good decision in this way. I think it's also important if this is a thing you're doing for somebody else is, You know, What do they want from you, Right? How good do they feel like it needs to be? And if they're setting a high standard on it, Do you have to meet that standard? I mean, Maybe it's wise to do it, Right? If you have a boss who's really picky and this is like a super important meeting or something, Like maybe, Maybe then it is worth it. To you um so do you have negotiating power there can you say i will get this to you but you know like i'm only going to be able to get this much or do it this well or something and then the other person has to find a way to be okay with that But part of it also, You know, Another reason why we sort of go a bit perfectionistic or overdo things is. It reduces the uncertainty, Right? Handing in something that, Or doing something that's pretty good, But not amazing. It carries a risk that someone else can say, Like, Blech, That wasn't good enough. And maybe also you're not good enough. I don't know if they would actually say that, But our anxiety and insecurity might tell us that they're going to say that. So, Like, Can you tolerate that uncertainty of not being 100% sure how this is all going to work out? So let's put this to work. And let's put it to work well enough. You don't have to be perfect in how you apply this. You just got to be good enough. First, Identify the types of tasks or the situations where you're more likely to overdo it. What's going on there? Like, Why? Why do you feel like it needs to be better than good enough? Maybe there's really good reasons and that's totally fine. Also, Maybe the reasons like when you really sort of like by light of day, You're like, I don't know, Maybe that's not a good enough reason. I think I'm going to try to scale it back. Because of, You know, I'd sort of mentioned how sometimes what happens earlier sets up what happens later. How can you stay more on top of demands so that you don't feel like you owe people too much, Right? That social capital thing. What do you need to do earlier, Right? How do you sort of put yourself into that better situation so you have a bit more, I don't know, You got more flexibility, You got more options about what you're going to do next? And then finally, What can you tell yourself to talk down that perfectionistic pull, Right? When you're feeling that pull, How do you sort of talk back to that, Right? How do you make a case to say, You know what? Good enough is good enough. Moving on. So let's think about it. Let's do something with it.