Self-compassion is essential on the healing journey as it allows us to open to parts of ourselves that we may have judgment around.
When our needs aren't met in early life,
We often think that it's because there's something wrong with us.
We may blame ourselves and fixate on our perceived mistakes.
This is how our mind works.
It looks for problems and tends to fixate on negatives.
This self-judgment just closes us down and makes us more stuck.
So instead,
We need to cultivate self-compassion.
There are many reasons why our self-compassion may be blocked or feel stuck,
And we will explore how to overcome those barriers in later practices.
So don't worry if that's the case.
But for now,
We will dive right in and see if we can cultivate a sense of compassion and self-compassion.
Let's start by bringing the mind to times where you felt compassionate towards others,
Times of generosity and connection when you've really cared for someone else.
Who have you felt compassion for?
Who have you showed care for?
Just bring these memories to mind.
And if there's a particular person you find easy to be compassionate towards,
You can picture them right here in front of you.
And just seeing if you can feel these feelings of compassion and care.
You can use phrases to help amplify them.
Say to this person,
I'm here for you.
I care for you.
And you can simply wish them to be happy.
Wish them to be healthy.
Wish for them to be safe.
You can also explore memories of other people being compassionate towards you.
Things you felt cared for,
Valued,
Seen.
And just notice what images or memories feel most resonant.
Stay with those.
Try putting a hand on your heart or on your stomach or abdomen and feel your hand,
Your own touch as a form of self-compassion.
Just breathe in this felt sense of compassion.
Nice big gentle breath in.
Allowing this felt sense of compassion to grow and expand with each inhale.
On the exhale,
Softening,
Letting go of any tension,
Any resistance.
Just let it all go.
Compassion in its simplest form is just not wanting others to suffer.
It really can be that simple.
Because people can't always feel the warmth of compassion in their body,
They may worry they aren't compassionate.
But you can ask yourself,
Do you want innocent people to suffer?
And if the answer is no,
Then you are compassionate.
If you're having trouble feeling this compassion in a visceral sense,
Don't worry.
It's very normal.
Our felt sense of compassion often shuts down for self-protection.
The important thing here is to just stay with the intention,
With not wanting others to suffer,
With wanting them to be safe,
Happy,
And healthy.
And coming back to that image of someone you care for.
And now allow yourself to smile,
Even if it feels a little uncomfortable,
Where you have to fake it at first.
Allow yourself to actually smile.
Feel the smile in your face,
But also smile with your heart.
See if you can smile with your whole being.
And radiate this feeling of the smile towards this person that you care for.
Imagining them basking in your care.
Imagining them smiling as they're receiving this energy from you.
You can use some phrases to help deepen the sense of compassion and care.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
Keep smiling.
Imagine them smiling,
Smiling together.
Feeling this felt sense of a smile to radiate through you.
Smiling with your heart and your whole being.
Now see if you can extend this care towards yourself.
See if you can meet yourself with the same warmth and care that you meet this loved one.
Living with yourself in this simple,
Caring way.
You can even use these phrases towards yourself.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
Sometimes it helps to imagine ourselves as a child.
We all know children are deserving of love.
They don't have to accomplish anything to be deserving.
And we easily forgive their mistakes.
Imagine yourself as a child and pour out this care and compassion onto your child self.
Breathing full,
Gentle breaths.
Imagine this child self taking in the compassion.
Imagine them warming up to it.
They're letting down their defenses and really opening to this love.
How would they look if they could actually let it in?
Feeling the warm,
Expansive quality of the breath.
Allowing it to nurture this feeling of self compassion.
The Noticing any resistances we have,
Any feelings of judgment,
A feeling not worthy.
You can allow that to be there,
But with each breath,
It softens.
Allowing a little more compassion to get through.
Allowing the feeling of warmth and care to grow.
Self-compassion is not easy.
It's a lifelong journey and it's a practice,
Something we can come back to again and again.
We can't always control how we feel,
But we can come back to this intention and with time and practice we will see results.
Thank you for your practice.
