Here you are in a moment of quiet,
In a space where you can release the rabbit-y thoughts,
Where you can put down the old hooks,
Where you can let the waters inside clear.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
And exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
I'm the kind of person who picks up pennies.
In addition,
If I happen to see a pen or a pencil in the hallway where I teach,
In an alleyway,
Or I have even picked up a partially crushed pen as I stood outside my bank's drive-up window.
And I do that because I walk my dogs there and the tellers give my dogs a treat that goes whooshing through that vacuum thingy.
And so there I was doing my banking business and I saw that slightly crushed pen on the cement.
I picked it up.
Now can I afford to buy new pens?
Indeed I can.
So what in the hell is up with me and pens or pencils I randomly find around the world?
While they could be seen as a gift from the universe,
More likely it has to do with the fact that I,
Just like every other human being on the planet,
I am continually writing and rewriting my story.
So picking up the pen has to do with that.
It's almost the equivalent of a new haircut,
A new outfit,
A new car,
A new job,
Town,
Love interest,
Or all of the above.
In other words,
Picking up the pen is a chance for a new story.
I'm currently teaching a class called Narrative Identities and the premise is that one of the major ways you understand and construct your identity is through narrative.
Simply put,
Who you are is a result of the stories you tell about yourself,
To yourself and to others.
But who you are is also the result of the stories others tell about you.
So this means there's an internal and an external component to your narrative identity.
This highlights a couple of important things.
First,
Our identities are created in community.
It's that no person is an island idea and as you can imagine,
This has positive and negative effects.
If the stories that are told about you are positive and uplifting,
You are probably more likely to walk into the world with a strong and positive identity and sense of self.
If the stories that get told about you are negative and cutting,
If you are always cast as the person who gets things wrong,
Who ought to be ashamed or afraid,
Why that too of course has repercussions.
Something else is that you can have identities forced onto you,
Ones you might not want or identities that you have outgrown but that others are still insisting that you live into.
Stories can become straight jackets.
Another thing is you only have control over the stories you tell about yourself.
And lastly,
The complete writing of our story doesn't happen until the end,
Which means there is always a chance for a new chapter,
A new direction,
A new character and that new character could be someone else or it could be you.
While you are alive,
There is always a chance for courage,
Fierceness,
Kindness,
Hope,
Redemption,
Love.
Story is one of the ways you construct yourself and that's where those random pens and pencils come in.
When I happen upon a new writing instrument,
I see it as an opportunity.
I imagine the new things I might write.
Not only is there opportunity,
But there's also a sense of agency in a new pen.
You can write what happens next.
Now as you know,
Life can pick you up by the scruff of the neck and plop you inside a narrative you do not want to be in.
COVID.
But even if that's the case,
You,
Yes you can write how your self meets that new scene and plot.
So pick up your pen.
Write the next chapter for that amazing,
Full,
Round and fierce self that is ever becoming you.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Namaste.
