Simple Steps To Stop Overthinking

23:10

23:10

Simple Steps To Stop Overthinking

by Bhante Assaji

Rated

4.8

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Teenagers

Plays

124

Our mind is always wondering and creating stories. Those stories and thoughts mostly can destroy your peacefulness as well as your day-to-day life. That we always tend to remember negative moments that happened in the past. Through these events, we're creating stories and overthink. In the Dhamma talk, I'm sharing with you to apply some simple techniques to overcome overthinking.

Mind Overthinking Positive Thoughts Awareness Self Improvement Support Friendship Techniques Awareness Guidance Weather Metaphors

Meet your Teacher

Woodstock, IL, USA

Meet your Teacher

Woodstock, IL, USA

Transcript

Okay, Good evening everyone. How are you today? You said super? It's happy to see you all. Thank you for being here. And what do you think about the weather these days? You like it? You enjoy it? Not really. Yeah, So it's raining. It's good for gardening, Flowers, Plants. So personally, Sometimes I do like rain, Sometimes I do not like rain. Because where I grew up, In my village, It's mountain and when it's raining, It's terrible. It's monsoon, It's so terrible. It's slippery, It's muddy and landslides. So I didn't enjoy rain sometimes, But every time I appreciate the rain, It's important. So last Sunday, The weather was very cold and we had a pride fest in Woodstock. I wanted to go. It was raining, I just walked around. So it was a cold day. But last week, It was very warm. It was very warm. And when we think about the weather, It is rapidly changing. The cloudy and gloomy, It's very different. Sometimes it is sunny, The sky is very, Very, Very beautiful and the weather is perfect for our activities and we are enjoying when the weather is nice. And it is changing every day. So when we think about the idea of the weather, The nature, It is sometimes, It is like our mind. Sometimes it is gloomy, It is cloudy, Sometimes it's sunny, It's very peaceful and relaxed. We are having fun time, Good time. Sometimes we are not. And so whenever we are having, Sometimes our mind is like a storm, Like a tornado, It's like a hurricane. Sometimes not. So you're here and meditate and I hope you had a good practice and I hope you enjoyed meditation. And so when you meditate, What happened? When you meditate, What happened? So after you come here, Maybe before you come here you had a different mindset, Maybe your mind was, Maybe it's wild, But after you come and after you practice, After you sit, What happened? So after you practice, How do you feel? Is it different or is it the same? It's a little calmer, A little peaceful, Maybe it's still the same, It's fine. So why I'm asking about this everything? So our mind is keep having thoughts, Like a tornado, Like a hurricane, Like the weather. That is the nature of our mind. So these days sometimes I'm struggling about some certain thoughts that I have usually. You might have the same thoughts, So I'm going to talk about what it is. So last two days, Almost last few days, I wanted to learn about this idea, But I'm going to tell you what it is. I listened to some teachers' talks, I read some articles online, And I found some teachings, And then I was thinking about what I was learning last few days. Then it was very helpful. So what I'm going to talk about, Maybe you might have in these thoughts, It is about overthinking. What do you think about the idea of overthinking? Do you struggle? Do you have those thoughts? Of course, Yes. We all have those, It's like a tornado, It's like a hurricane, Sometimes it's killing your day, It is destroying your peacefulness and everything. So as I mentioned earlier, Sometimes I do have those thoughts, And I want to help myself. So then that's why I started to learn something. Then I found it is very helpful for me. Then the same time, While I'm talking to you, Then same time I'm thinking I'm talking to myself, Because that's how I do actually. It is helping both, It's very helpful for me over the years. Then I would like to talk about the idea of overthinking. When I was in Sri Lanka, I never think about the idea of overthinking, I don't even remember I knew this word. But after I moved here, When I do dhamma talks, When I meet people, They have different, They are struggling about different feelings, Thoughts, And they come and talk to us. Then I started to learn more about the idea of overthinking. It is a common problem all over the world that people are having. Then my question is, Can you stop overthinking? Can you stop? Yes, You can control it, You can manage it, You can pause it, But it will keep coming to you, The overthinking. But, How can you stop it? How can you stop it? Sometimes it is like a temporary solution. So, When you know about the idea of overthinking, When you know about the solutions, If you know how to control it, Then it means you can manage your thoughts. So, If you know science, If you study science, And the modern world scientists, They are doing many researches about mind, About brain, And there are scientists, They found, They discovered, So they noticed, There are two brains that you all have. Two brains, Maybe you know about this, Maybe not. They use two scientific words for these two brains. I will explain later. So, Buddha also explained about this idea during his time. So, The two brains, The first one we call Velcro brain. Have you ever heard about that? The second one? Velcro. It is like a tongue twister for me. So, The Velcro brain. The second one is Teflon brain. So, That is the two parts of our brain. So, The Velcro brain, When you are having all the nasty thoughts, The anger, Resentment, Hatred, Everything, The Velcro brain is producing those thoughts. It is not good. So, We usually tend to remember all the negative memories, What happened in the past. Just imagine you were at work today. Maybe you were at work, Maybe not. Just imagine, At your work, Somebody appreciates you five times. Hey, You are doing great. You are doing really well in your job. You are communicating with your coworkers so well, Really well. So, Somebody appreciates you five times today. Just imagine, The same day, Somebody criticizes you. End of the day, What will remember? The five appreciations or the criticism? Mostly, Will come to you the criticism. That is our nature of our mind. We tend to remember the negative emotions what we had. So, Therefore, The Velcro brain, Also we can say Velcro mind, Keep producing all that kind of thoughts. So, We chanted Dampa, The verse, Page number 8. If you see the third line, The first verse, The third line, It is called Manasaache Paduttena, The word Paduttena. It is the Padutta Manasaache means unpleasant mind, Unskillful mind, The same idea that scientists are talking about. So, When you think about the idea of unpleasant mind, Keep producing those thoughts. So, Therefore, It is very important to understand the Velcro mind, The Velcro brain, The negative mind that keep producing all the overthinking thoughts, All the negative thoughts that we are struggling. And then what we do? We keep feeding those thoughts. How do we feed that negative mind? How do we feed with our five sense? Eye, Nose, Ears, Mouth and our body. We keep feeding that Velcro brain, Our negative brain. It is like a radio station, It is like a TV station. What they do, There are many TV stations, They broadcast their programs overnight, 24 hours. That Velcro mind is same like the TV station, The radio station, Keep producing thoughts which is killing your day, Destroying your peacefulness. So, Then what we do? We keep feeding, We keep feeding and eventually we are getting tired. What people do, Maybe you have done it many times, Then people go to get medications. Then if you are tired of having medications, You go to therapies, People go to therapies. If you are around here, Most therapies, Doctors, They are suggesting to go to meditations. Some people come to Blue Lotus because I have met many people, They found this place through their therapist. So that's how they came here. So, They come to meditations. Then you come and you meditate, You feel awesome, You feel fabulous, You feel relaxed and peaceful, Then you go home. What happens then? Terrible, Because you can't find that peacefulness, It is different environment. You feel miserable, Again you want to come here. So, It is like a pattern, Sometimes people do that. So, Then the same time we are keep feeding our brain, Our mind, The negative mind. So, Then the good mind we call good brain is Teflon brain, The Teflon mind, It's a good side. So, Then we keep feeding that. So, Our negative mind is very strong. If we keep feeding that our negative mind, That our good mind, It is not strong enough. Because we do not feed that our good mind, We do not think about that our good mind. We are not going to feed it. Why? We are keep feeding that our negative mind. Then we are keep having those overthinking thoughts. So, Therefore, It is very important to understand the two sides of our mind, Which is keep producing overthinking thoughts. And then when we are working on it, Maybe you have some techniques, If you have some techniques, Please share with everybody. Because maybe this is a good idea to help each other, Good time to help each other. Because what I found I want to share with you. Maybe you have different teachings. So, Then when we are keep struggling about those overthinking thoughts, Definitely that we have to feed our good mind, Instead of feeding our unskillful mind. What we do if we are struggling about those overthinking thoughts, Eventually people are going to feed that our unskillful mind in unhealthy way. People have different addictions, The alcohol, The drugs or whatever they call, And they are destroying themselves. And I told you few times, Two times, Two Sundays, Usually we close the temple. Nobody is around here. And one Sunday, We were here, We had some people visiting from some place and we were here. Somebody was ringing the bell. He was very lucky and we opened the door. Other Bantis were here, They opened the door. He was thinking to commit suicide. Then the other Bantis, They all talked and then he was crying here. Then he left. The following Sunday, The same we don't open the temple on Sunday, It's closed. But Bante Rahula, The Bante Sujata, Our head monk, They went outside, They were just walking around the temple. There was a guy standing over there and he was having same feelings. He was just walking around, He just wanted to commit suicide. He couldn't overcome those thoughts and thinking, Thinking, Then somehow the two Bantis talked to him and we got the number and now the one Bante, He keeps communicating with him, Just checking on him. I don't know how many people we missed, But those two guys, They were so lucky. And sometimes people come here, Struggling and having those thoughts and they do not have anybody to talk. And they found here as a sanctuary and we are always happy to help that kind of people. I'm just telling you, Maybe those two people had the same feelings, Same thoughts, Overthinking. So therefore it is very important to find solutions how I can overcome those thoughts. The first one that I found was very helpful for me is identify, Acknowledge that I am overthinking, That I have those thoughts and then try to understand those negative emotions. The first one is identify. The second one is awareness. It is our tool, It is our weapon, The biggest weapon that you all have, Awareness. It is when you are aware about your thoughts, You are aware about what is happening around, You are not going to judge anybody. I know some people, Whenever they see something, They are just judging and they are creating a story. But eventually they know it is not right. Usually people do that, Overthinking, Then creating stories and creating drama inside and then you can even. . . Yes, Make your own movie, The TV series. Then people can have a good time, Good day. And the best thing is the awareness. I mentioned earlier about the TV, The radio station. So I also mentioned about how the thoughts are coming. I remember my village is surrounded by mountains and my parents, They can't watch TV. They only could watch only two TV channels. I'm talking about almost 8, 10 years ago. And they could only watch two government TV channels because the signal and everything was powerful, They were able to watch it. But the rest of the channels, They couldn't watch. They missed their favorite TV shows. What I did, I bought a satellite antenna for them. They were able to watch whatever they like. So sometimes I think when you are having the negative brain, Our signal is too low, Our antenna is not good enough to receive the signals. Therefore you need the satellite antenna, Which is what you do here. Your awareness, That is your practice. So it is like a satellite antenna. You can get all the powerful signals, You can watch whatever you want. I remember when I was little, I loved to watch Discovery. I loved to watch. That's how I used to see the world when I was a little boy. And I never missed that channel, The TV show, And I was able to watch all the animals. Sometimes I missed it when it was rainy time, Rainy days, I couldn't even watch it because we couldn't get the signal, The radars. So therefore having a good antenna is very powerful. So therefore your practice, What you do here, Is very helpful. The second one is awareness. You are going to be aware about your thoughts, Then you are going to apply, You are going to practice. We usually practice here firstly loving kindness. You are learning to take care of yourself. The third one is challenging yourself. It means you are going to question yourself, Why am I having this overthinking? Why am I overthinking? What is the reason? Maybe you are just creating a story. You are just going to learn why I am having, Keep questioning. You are trying to find the root, You are digging the roots to find why I am having those overthinking thoughts. That's the third one. The fourth one is having action, Taking actions. You already identify, You already understand about awareness, Then challenge yourself, Taking actions. Whatever you are learning from the first three steps, You are going to apply. I mentioned already, People come here and they are having a good time, They are telling the practice is awesome, But they go home feeling the same, How they were, They come back. Whatever you learn here, We have to understand and apply. Then it's going to work. Sometimes this first step doesn't work for you. There is always something else that you can find. Definitely, We all do that. Sometimes you have done it already before. The fifth idea is to seek help. As I mentioned earlier, The two people who were wandering around here, They found this place and they came and we were able to talk to them. That's how we can help. So you can find somebody who can trust, Who can help you, Who can listen to you. Some people, They just want to talk. Some people come here and we are just listening, They just talk, Talk, We are just listening. So you can find a person who can talk and who can listen to you. Then you can express your emotions, Feelings and everything. So I am just telling everything very briefly, So I have many thoughts in my mind, But I am not going to explain everything. But just try to think about these five ideas. Then we call the fifth one, Seeking help, We call finding noble friends. So we always talk about noble friends. So you can be a noble friend to yourself and at the same time you can be a noble friend to somebody who needs your help. Therefore, Try to be a noble friend to yourself, Try to be a noble friend to somebody else. And then overthinking, Of course you can stop it, But you can manage it. You have the powerful antenna that you practice, Loving kindness and mindfulness. And whenever you are having those thoughts, You know I am having, You are learning to understand, You are learning to find the roots, You are learning to manage it. But it is always easy to tell, But it is not easy to practice. So that's why I told you, I am also talking to myself, At the same time I am sharing with you what I am learning, So we can figure it out. So I think if you are struggling about overthinking, Try to think about these five steps. Try to think about the idea, Try to think about the two sides of our brain, Try to feed that your good brain, Find good radio station, Then you can watch some good movies. So do you have any thoughts, Any techniques that you learn?